byvan03:




Thank you!

How does her reacting to the negativity showered on her by her husband makes her a bad person?
She is only reacting because she has been pushed to the wall and this is normal for anyone.There is only much a human being can take,even kids retaliate.But does it makes this person a bad person?

Is she not reacting this way because she was pushed? Are you aware that some people are just nasty and unkind for no reason?

greatgod2012:





Both!
How they met each other, I don't know, but mehn, this woman I'm talking about know how to sideline someone, she literarily do everything and still accord her husband much respect. She always claim that's how he's created including everyone sha cone across.
In fact, I know a lot about her and I can authoritatively say she's a good woman, especially to her husband.

Then there is a disconnect.

Did she tie him down with pregnancy? Use jazz to bewitch him? Was he bewitched by someone else? Is she giving him something different from what he wants? Was she a believer when they got married?

Again, what makes the husband a beast?

Sorry for the probing questions.

byvan03:




Good question.

I am sure we will get to the bottom of it

edwife:


How does her reacting to the negativity showered on her by her husband makes her a bad person?
She is only reacting because she has been pushed to the wall and this is normal for anyone.There is only much a human being can take,even kids retaliate.But does it makes this person a bad person?

Is she not reacting this way because she was pushed? Are you aware that some people are just nasty and unkind for no reason?

Good,even an innocent child will react to so much negativity, it's a basic human impulse. Some are unkind for no reason but yet, there is always a little goodness lurking somewhere. No body is entirely good or bad, the only difference I see is the varying degrees of this virtue and vice that makes up a particular individual.

Dcholeric:

very humouring @ bold.

now this is not just about what a person would gain before doing good, this is about being good to yourself and in a long run that good extends directly or indirectly to both your love ones and the society at large without selfish motive but pure intention to build a better home, society .........that was what I found in the woman I wrote about in my OP.

ok let me just simply put "if a person build a good home,environment,society,world ......it comes back to his/her favour ", so why do you think people with this kind of ideology do not exist?

Are you saying what I felt was just my assumptions?

the truth is that my perception as at yesterday was just base on what I felt and perceived.

you may be right, I may be wrong and vice versa

maybe in the utopian world my dear

SAMBARRY:
story for the gods.it's because she's still in the tolerable stage thats why she hasn't shown her true colours.let her reach the limit of her endurance then you will see another woman emerge

ssee, I've always thought the same way you're thinking. Even my husband who is a man has always been wondering why she's too good as such. The person I'm talking about is well known to me, she's my sister in law, at times, I even think she's charmed but with her attitude towards outsiders, I now realised that's her nature.

edwife:


How does her reacting to the negativity showered on her by her husband makes her a bad person?
She is only reacting because she has been pushed to the wall and this is normal for anyone.There is only much a human being can take,even kids retaliate.But does it makes this person a bad person?

Is she not reacting this way because she was pushed? Are you aware that some people are just nasty and unkind for no reason?

Then what is the difference between the above and sambarry's opinion that everyone is 'good' because of what they want to gain or because they are treated right? (Also reacting to positivity)?

edwife:


It is vice versa,a good woman makes a good man too.They are both great,that is why it is working for them. Who has a bad wife, his hell begins on earth.

I totally agree, a good woman makes a good man only if they are compatible.

bukatyne:


Then there is a disconnect.

Did she tie him down with pregnancy? Use jazz to bewitch him? Was he bewitched by someone else? Is she giving him something different from what he wants? Was she a believer when they got married?

Again, what makes the husband a beast?

Sorry for the probing questions.

double post

bukatyne:


Then there is a disconnect.

Did she tie him down with pregnancy? Use jazz to bewitch him? Was he bewitched by someone else? Is she giving him something different from what he wants? Was she a believer when they got married?

Again, what makes the husband a beast?

Sorry for the probing questions.

I said both, that is, the way she behave towards her husband is the same way she does to everyone she comes across.

The husband is a beast in the sense that he's a complete opposite of his wife. He doesn't care, proud, even an abuser.

.

bukatyne:


Then what is the difference between the above and sambarry's opinion that everyone is 'good' because of what they want to gain or because they are treated right? (Also reacting to positivity)?

There is a huge difference.This is my understanding of a good person.

[b]"Are you a good person?," who do you think is more likely to say, "I'm good"? The good one or the evil one?
The evil one! He could kick his own mother in the stomach and still think he's good. You say, "That's terrible! How could you do such a thing?" He rationalizes and says, "You don't understand. She asked me to take out the garbage. If I do it, who knows what else she'll ask for next? This could go on forever!"
As for the good person, he takes out the garbage. But if you would then tell him, "I see you're a good person," he says, "No, I'm really not so good. Didn't you notice that while I was taking out the garbage I kicked my mother in the stomach?"
"What are you talking about? I was watching and you didn't kick your mother in the stomach!"
"Well, I didn't actually kick her. But I was grumbling as I carried out the garbage. I wanted my mother to feel bad. I was in the middle of a good book, and if I don't register my protest, who knows – she might ask me to do it again tomorrow!"
Do you see the difference? The evil person will always say he's right. He doesn't bother trying to be good, so he never feels a struggle. He just assumes he's good.
Whereas the person who really tries to be "good" knows how tough the job is. And he's always striving for a higher level.
There's a third type: The fully righteous person, the Tzaddik. He takes out the garbage and says, "It's my pleasure, Mom. You work so hard to take care of us. So thank you for the opportunity to express my appreciation!"[/b]

I am not good to people because i want something from them,it is a ridiculous thing to say. My parents,siblings are good to me for the person I am and represent in their lives and not for what they can get from me. So if your kid is disrespectful will it stop you from being a good mother or a good person to him? I might cut down his allowances,be strict about many things but i won't STOP being a good person.

It is either you are good,bad or evil.
cc byvan03

greatgod2012:




I said both, that is, the way she behave towards her husband is the same way she does to everyone she comes across.

The husband is a beast in the sense that he's a complete opposite of his wife. He doesn't care, proud, even an abuser.

Beats her? Proud and non-caring?

Could it be that was how he saw his parents behave and he is not necessarily bad?

Is he a husband that believes in providing? Does he provide financially?

greatgod2012:




ssee, I've always thought the same way you're thinking. Even my husband who is a man has always been wondering why she's too good as such. The person I'm talking about is well known to me, she's my sister in law, at times, I even think she's charmed but with her attitude towards outsiders, I now realised that's her nature.

another story for the gods.


Human beings are very complex and unpredictable.like I said earlier the man hasn't yet done anything that will provoke her and turn her to another woman that you didn't even know lives inside her


I have seen circumstances change pleasant people to unpleasant people and people who had ugly characters change.

The point is people change. The character you had when you were 16 is not the same character you have


Just wait Let the husband just touch or tamper with the wrong current in her brain

bukatyne:
.

lol.......what else are you interested in, I've answered your question. You know I don't talk/type much now.

I think we are getting the definition of GOOD mixed up. Many of you are talking about a situation when someone is being pushed to react to a situation they didn't ask for.

So if I sit in a classroom and i have never been in trouble,a classmate slaps me out of the ordinary-i should not defend myself if I do it automatically makes me a BAD person? Or a child who has been bullied for years in school decides to retaliate makes that child a bad person?

edwife:


There is a huge difference.This is my understanding of a good person.

[b]"Are you a good person?," who do you think is more likely to say, "I'm good"? The good one or the evil one?
The evil one! He could kick his own mother in the stomach and still think he's good. You say, "That's terrible! How could you do such a thing?" He rationalizes and says, "You don't understand. She asked me to take out the garbage. If I do it, who knows what else she'll ask for next? This could go on forever!"
As for the good person, he takes out the garbage. But if you would then tell him, "I see you're a good person," he says, "No, I'm really not so good. Didn't you notice that while I was taking out the garbage I kicked my mother in the stomach?"
"What are you talking about? I was watching and you didn't kick your mother in the stomach!"
"Well, I didn't actually kick her. But I was grumbling as I carried out the garbage. I wanted my mother to feel bad. I was in the middle of a good book, and if I don't register my protest, who knows – she might ask me to do it again tomorrow!"
Do you see the difference? The evil person will always say he's right. He doesn't bother trying to be good, so he never feels a struggle. He just assumes he's good.
Whereas the person who really tries to be "good" knows how tough the job is. And he's always striving for a higher level.
There's a third type: The fully righteous person, the Tzaddik. He takes out the garbage and says, "It's my pleasure, Mom. You work so hard to take care of us. So thank you for the opportunity to express my appreciation!"[/b]

I am not good to people because i want something from them,it is a ridiculous thing to say. My parents,siblings are good to me for the person I am and represent in their lives and not for what they can get from me. So if your kid is disrespectful will it stop you from being a good mother or a good person to him? I might cut down his allowances,be strict about many things but i won't STOP being a good person.

It is either you are good,bad or evil.
cc byvan03

No one is entirely good or bad. Bad override good for some, good override bad for some.

edwife:
I think we are getting the definition of GOOD mix up. Many of you are talking about a situation when someone is being pushed to react to a situation they didn't ask for.

So if I sit in a classroom and i have never been in trouble,a classmate slap me out of the ordinary-i should not defend myself if I do it automatically makes me a BAD person? Or a child who has been bullied for years in school decides to retaliate makes that child a bad person?

Yes nah,you are supposed to turn the other cheek and get slapped some more .

byvan03:


No one is entirely good or bad. Bad override good for some, good override bad for some.

Hmmm I don't know about this.A serial killer is entirely bad compare to someone who killed as self defence.That is why even in court murder is judged based on the circumstance of the killer.From the type of person the killer is,to the whys ad the hows.

onstelly:

Leave Linda alone nah

wat? I like d lady jor

@Edwife, thank you for the description.
This person I'm talking about fits your 3rd description too well.

As good as I think I am, there are some things she accepts that I can never accept, to be honest.


Shes just simple and pure in heart.


@ bukatyne, financial provision......... lol......wetin concern chief Imam with itan elede. In fact, I can't marry that man for 24 hours.
abeg, leave matter for Matthias jare.


@ sambarry, OK.

byvan03:


Yes nah,you are supposed to turn the other cheek and get slapped some more .

Even Jesus was angry at a point in his life, he might have not touch anyone physically but he screamed yet it doesn't make him a bad person,does it?

edwife:


There is a huge difference.This is my understanding of a good person.

[b]"Are you a good person?," who do you think is more likely to say, "I'm good"? The good one or the evil one?
The evil one! He could kick his own mother in the stomach and still think he's good. You say, "That's terrible! How could you do such a thing?" He rationalizes and says, "You don't understand. She asked me to take out the garbage. If I do it, who knows what else she'll ask for next? This could go on forever!"
As for the good person, he takes out the garbage. But if you would then tell him, "I see you're a good person," he says, "No, I'm really not so good. Didn't you notice that while I was taking out the garbage I kicked my mother in the stomach?"
"What are you talking about? I was watching and you didn't kick your mother in the stomach!"
"Well, I didn't actually kick her. But I was grumbling as I carried out the garbage. I wanted my mother to feel bad. I was in the middle of a good book, and if I don't register my protest, who knows – she might ask me to do it again tomorrow!"
Do you see the difference? The evil person will always say he's right. He doesn't bother trying to be good, so he never feels a struggle. He just assumes he's good.
Whereas the person who really tries to be "good" knows how tough the job is. And he's always striving for a higher level.
There's a third type: The fully righteous person, the Tzaddik. He takes out the garbage and says, "It's my pleasure, Mom. You work so hard to take care of us. So thank you for the opportunity to express my appreciation!"[/b]

I am not good to people because i want something from them,it is a ridiculous thing to say. My parents,siblings are good to me for the person I am and represent in their lives and not for what they can get from me. So if your kid is disrespectful will it stop you from being a good mother or a good person to him? I might cut down his allowances,be strict about many things but i won't STOP being a good person.

It is either you are good,bad or evil.
cc byvan03

Well said! I could hug you!

Thinking that there are no good people... Well, that's just sad. A sad state of mind. I have met people that are good just for the sake of it. Not because they want to gain anything from it. It's their nature, pure and simple.

RiloKiley:


Well said! I could hug you!

Thinking that there are no good people... Well, that's just sad. A sad state of mind. I have met people that are good just for the sake of it. Not because they want to gain anything from it. It's their nature, pure and simple.

Lol thanks. So much negativity-i can't deal.

@greatgod thanks.

edwife:


Even Jesus was angry at a point in his life, he might have not touch anyone physically but he screamed yet it doesn't make him a bad person,does it?

Good! We on the same page then .

edwife:


Hmmm I don't know about this.A serial killer is entirely bad compare to someone who killed as self defence.That is why even in court murder is judged based on the circumstance of the killer.From the type of person the killer is,to the whys ad the hows.

A serial killer can still love someone even with the darkness in his heart. A good person can kill on self defence because there is darkness in everyone that just needs the right circumstance to manifest. We are actually on the same page here, only a slight twist,the fact that no one is entirely good or bad. I don't agree totally that everyone that is good wants something as Kulyie said but a lot do want something. Anticipating thanks after doing something nice for someone is still wanting something, wanting the validation that you are good.

greatgod2012:
@Edwife, thank you for the description.
This person I'm talking about fits your 3rd description too well.

As good as I think I am, there are some things she accepts that I can never accept, to be honest.


Shes just simple and pure in heart.


@ bukatyne, financial provision......... lol......wetin concern chief Imam with itan elede. In fact, I can't marry that man for 24 hours.
abeg, leave matter for Matthias jare.


@ sambarry, OK.

Only God knows who is pure in heart . The human hearts are deep waters, who can know it? No one really knows anyone, you only know what they want you to know and see what they want you see.

byvan03:


Only God knows who is pure in heart . The human hearts are deep waters, who can know it? No one really knows anyone, you only know what they want you to know and see what they want you see.

Well I don't go by that, I see good in people regardless if it's what they want me to see or it's what i see. If i see the goodness in you all the time,you are a good person.Exceptions are inevitable but still you are good.

byvan03:




A serial killer can still love someone even with the darkness in his heart. A good person can kill on self defence because there is darkness in everyone that just needs the right circumstance to manifest. We are actually on the same page here, only a slight twist,the fact that no one is entirely good or bad. I don't agree totally that everyone that is good wants something as Kulyie said but a lot do want something. Anticipating thanks after doing something nice for someone is still wanting something, wanting the validation that you are good.

A serial killer loving someone doesn't make him a good person.He is a bad person but he has an exception which is loving that person.
I don't believe there is darkness in everyone,i refuse it.Otherwise many women who died today in abusive relationships because they were praying and hoping for the best would have done something dark and those are the people some of us call 'stupid','abnormal'...etc....

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.Does it mean i won't have to be successful?
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.Do I stop doing good?
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.Do I stop being frank and honest?
Be honest and frank anyway.

edwife:


A serial killer loving someone doesn't make him a good person.He is a bad person but he has an exception which is loving that person.
I don't believe there is darkness in everyone,i refuse it.Otherwise many women who died today in abusive relationships because they were praying and hoping for the best would have done something dark and those are the people some of us call 'stupid','abnormal'...etc....

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.Does it mean i won't have to be successful?
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.Do I stop doing good?
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.Do I stop being frank and honest?
Be honest and frank anyway.

To love is goodness, the fact that it is minute doesn't mean it's a lesser good because it came from a serial killer. Man is born with sin, we strive to be good. No one is entirely good, no one.

edwife:


Well I don't go by that, I see good in people regardless if it's what they want me to see or it's what i see. If i see the goodness in you all the time,you are a good person.Exceptions are inevitable but still you are good.

There is a difference between being good and being pure in heart . No one knows the heart, only God knows. There are people one meets and say they are good,that is the aspect of them that you saw.

greatgod2012:
@Edwife, thank you for the description.
This person I'm talking about fits your 3rd description too well.

As good as I think I am, there are some things she accepts that I can never accept, to be honest.


Shes just simple and pure in heart.


@ bukatyne, financial provision......... lol......wetin concern chief Imam with itan elede. In fact, I can't marry that man for 24 hours.
abeg, leave matter for Matthias jare.


@ sambarry, OK.

you're welcome