Hello all, I have this help that has been with us for a couple of months. She is 22 and is done with secondary school. She was referred to us through her uncle who happens to be her custodian.

Before taking her in we agreed on the followings;
1. She will stay at least a year before talking about visiting home. This was necessary because she came in around November, to avoid she saying she wants to travel for Christmas.
2. That she is to be paid Bleep amount monthly.
3. We will take care of her like ours.

The issue:
After a month old with us, her uncle that gave her to us appeared one evening around 8pm with a woman he would later introduced to us as the girl's mother. That they are coming from the village. I welcomed and entertained them. After a while, the uncle said he will be leaving and that the mother of the girl will stay back at least 2 days with us. I called him back asking him to kindly take along his sister as I was not informed beforehand of their visit nor the intention of the mother staying with me.
He took offence and demanded I return the transportation fair the mother spent in coming to our house as if I invited her. I politely informed him that won't be possible as it was not in my budget. They left.

During the Christmas period, our help told us that her mother called that she will be visiting to spend the holidays with us. Again, wifey said no, that she can't come just like that. That we need to at least be informed adequately. It ended that way.

Two weeks ago she walked up to us to say her brother was coming to visit us after work that day. Mind you, we are all about leaving the house for a function including her. We told her it won't be possible as we won't be around. She said she can come back ahead of us to be with the brother. I told her that won't be possible as I won't have a stranger I have not met in my house when I am not home.

Just yesterday evening, she was on call from morning til evening. Then in the evening she told us that she want to go to the junction to pick her brother. I asked were she is taking him to. She said she is bringing him to our house. I said no, that since she feel she can just wake up and do what pleases her without informing me. That it won't be possible.

This morning she greeted my wife with her departure news. That her mother want her back. I said no problem. But that her uncle who gave her to me will have to come pick her during the weekend that we will be home.

Note:
1 We have been paying her promptly as agreed since her arrival.
2. We got her a phone within the short period she has been with us.
3. We even enrolled her for jamb this year so she can go to school. Which she even passed (210) with plans on ground for her studies.
4. Got her reasonable amount of clothes.

My people, what's my wrong in insisting that we be informed adequately before any of her visitor come visiting? Or are they trying to take advantage of our kind gestures?

Poster, from your write up I don't think you are in any way harsh or hostile towards her if what you put up here is true. Please kindly let go of her so that you will have your peace. I forgot to add this, I won't advice anyone to take in an adult you can't control. Better still look for a young age between 15-18

quickly let this woman go, and count your blessings..... the faster she is out of your lives the better. by her actions, you can already predict that they want to use your house as a hotel, and bring strangers to sleep inside your home (in these days of ritual killings and body part selling?! haba!).

Please let her go.

I have never heard of a help's mother coming to stay over or receiving visitors like this. They are trying to take advantage.

It looks like you will have issues with her.

MrBrownJay1:
quickly let this woman go, and count your blessings..... the faster she is out of your lives the better. by her actions, you can already predict that they want to use your house as a hotel, and bring strangers to sleep inside your home (in these days of ritual killings and body part selling?! haba!).

You echoed my thoughts.

I would have sent her home since.

What kind of nonsense is this?bro have gone through getting help from a relative which is not the best even though you feel it's safe.its better you employ a stranger you don't know,take her to hospital for all necessary test and church for prayer,state your terms and u will be happy after worth,house help from relatives gives big headach.

Yes, they are taking advantage of your kind gestures. Let her go already

missyojo:
Poster, from your write up I don't think you are in any way harsh or hostile towards her if what you put up here is true. Please kindly let go of her so that you will have your peace. I forgot to add this, I won't advice anyone to take in an adult you can't control. Better still look for a young age between 15-18

Thanks. Wifey tried calling the mother twice today, but she did not take her call nor return the calls. I have already asked her to get her things ready

MrBrownJay1:
quickly let this woman go, and count your blessings..... the faster she is out of your lives the better. by her actions, you can already predict that they want to use your house as a hotel, and bring strangers to sleep inside your home (in these 0days of ritual killings and body part selling?! haba!).

I have already made alternative arrangement. She has suddenly started acting remorse and is trying to please us.

ImaIma1:
Please let her go.

I have never heard of a help's mother coming to stay over or receiving visitors like this. They are trying to take advantage.

It looks like you will have issues with her.

God bless you my sister. I was wondering if people that secure the services of a help do secure that of the mother as well.

ifyalways:

You echoed my thoughts.

I would have sent her home since.

The only reason I was keeping her was her domestic abilities and the bond she share with the kids.
There is no single minute they are not singing her name like Telenovela, whereas they have never called mummy for a day

[quote author=rokkies2001 post=66562954]What kind of nonsense is this?bro have gone through getting help from a relative which is not the best even though you feel it's safe.its better you employ a stranger you don't know,take her to hospital for all necessary test and church for prayer,state your terms and u will be happy after worth,house help from relatives gives big headach.[/quote0]

She is actually a stranger. Not a relative of ours at all.

Wetlink:
Yes, they are taking advantage of your kind gestures. Let her go already

Thanks. She is going already

ImaIma1:
Please let her go.

I have never heard of a help's mother coming to stay over or receiving visitors like this. They are trying to take advantage.

It looks like you will have issues with her.

they do a lot ours came 2 weeks after d girl resumed. Both the mother n d brother that is married came visiting n stayed 2 weeks. for the period d girl was with us, dey visited every month end

shugasofttouch:
they do a lot ours came 2 weeks after d girl resumed. Both the mother n d brother that is married came visiting n stayed 2 weeks. for the period d girl was with us, dey visited every month end

My sister, I won't take a help as well as her family. They aren't relatives you know. They can't leave off me, I have other responsibilities.

SHE REALLY HAS THE EFFRONTERY TO DEMAND THINGS THAT SHE IS NOT ENTITLED TO. GOOD RIDDANCE TO BAD RUBBISH. DON'T LET HER SPEND ANOTHER DAY IN YOUR HOUSE. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TERRIBLE PLANS SHE HAS UP HER SLEEVES. WHEN CHILDREN ARE INVOLVED, YOU ACT FAST. KEEP YOUR FAMILY SAFE. For the urgency, I have typed in CAPS LOCK.

richyblink1:

I have already made alternative arrangement. She has suddenly she is acting remorse and is trying to please us.

this ungrateful lady has already shown you the type of woman she is..... if i were you i would gently let her go, and count my blessings.

but if you must, before you take her back, make her understand that (when she is free) she can meet whoever she wants OUTSIDE YOUR HOME, but she is NOT allowed to bring anybody to your house, from that day forth. EOD

TheeDetective:
SHE REALLY HAS THE EFFRONTERY TO DEMAND THINGS THAT SHE IS NOT ENTITLED TO. GOOD RIDDANCE TO BAD RUBBISH. DON'T LET HER SPEND ANOTHER DAY IN YOUR HOUSE. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TERRIBLE PLANS SHE HAS UP HER SLEEVES. WHEN CHILDREN ARE INVOLVED, YOU ACT FAST. KEEP YOUR FAMILY SAFE. For the urgency, I have typed in CAPS LOCK.

7

Thanks. Will act on it

MrBrownJay1:


this ungrateful lady has already shown you the type of woman she is..... if i were you i would gently let her go, and count my blessings.

but if you must, before you take her back, make her understand that (when she is free) she can meet whoever she wants OUTSIDE YOUR HOME, but she is NOT allowed to bring anybody to your house, from that day forth. EOD

Noted bro

shugasofttouch:
they do a lot ours came 2 weeks after d girl resumed. Both the mother n d brother that is married came visiting n stayed 2 weeks. for the period d girl was with us, dey visited every month end

I can't allow it. It is except she is a relative. I can't deal with inlaws and also deal with my help's family coming to stay over.

The fact that their daughter works for me does not automatically give them access to my house. There are boundaries that they cannot cross. I can't allow such but it is fine if it ok with you.

richyblink1:


God bless you my sister. I was wondering if people that secure the services of a help do secure that of the mother as well.

Believe me...this is the first time i will hear of it

As in her visitors wanna come holiday with you? As in sleep over? Hian! I have never heard this before

sisisioge:
As in her visitors wanna come holiday with you? As in sleep over? Hian! I have never heard this before

Maybe her family thinks they have married their daughter and therefore, they are now inlaws

ImaIma1:


Maybe her family thinks they have married their daughter and therefore, they are now inlaws

They might need clarity then.

sisisioge:
As in her visitors wanna come holiday with you? As in sleep over? Hian! I have never heard this before

Even giving me date of their arrival and departure

sisisioge:


They might need clarity then.

That's what I have done

My help of two months said she is going for her great grand mums burial. I told her I don't approve of it, omo I was at work when my niece told me she has packed all her belongings to go. She left without my consent and after three days she was calling me. I never bothered to return her call nor pick. All my money for test and transport gone down the drain.

mylove4him:
My help of two months said she is going for her great grand mums burial. I told her I don't approve of it, omo I was at work when my niece told me she has packed all her belongings to go. She left without my consent and after three days she was calling me. I never bothered to return her call nor pick. All my money for test and transport gone down the drain.

I had 3 before her. They are always full of excuses. They often want to go home

richyblink1:


I had 3 before her. They are always full of excuses. They often want to go home

That is the way they are. No matter how one treats them well. They always want to go. Just thank God if they have stayed 1 year. Some people advise I take a small girl to train. I can't deal with a girl below 17 sef. When u finish training, the parents suddenly remember they need her for something at home.

It appears you were too liberal in your dealings with her. Please ensure to check through her luggage and get your wife to search her as well before she steps out to leave.

richyblink1:
Hello all, I have this help that has been with us for a couple of months. She is 22 and is done with secondary school. She was referred to us through her uncle who happens to be her custodian.

Before taking her in we agreed on the followings;
1. She will stay at least a year before talking about visiting home. This was necessary because she came in around November, to avoid she saying she wants to travel for Christmas.
2. That she is to be paid Bleep amount monthly.
3. We will take care of her like ours.

The issue:
After a month old with us, her uncle that gave her to us appeared one evening around 8pm with a woman he would later introduced to us as the girl's mother. That they are coming from the village. I welcomed and entertained them. After a while, the uncle said he will be leaving and that the mother of the girl will stay back at least 2 days with us. I called him back asking him to kindly take along his sister as I was not informed beforehand of their visit nor the intention of the mother staying with me.
He took offence and demanded I return the transportation fair the mother spent in coming to our house as if I invited her. I politely informed him that won't be possible as it was not in my budget. They left.

During the Christmas period, our help told us that her mother called that she will be visiting to spend the holidays with us. Again, wifey said no, that she can't come just like that. That we need to at least be informed adequately. It ended that way.

Two weeks ago she walked up to us to say her brother was coming to visit us after work that day. Mind you, we are all about leaving the house for a function including her. We told her it won't be possible as we won't be around. She said she can come back ahead of us to be with the brother. I told her that won't be possible as I won't have a stranger I have not met in my house when I am not home.

Just yesterday evening, she was on call from morning til evening. Then in the evening she told us that she want to go to the junction to pick her brother. I asked were she is taking him to. She said she is bringing him to our house. I said no, that since she feel she can just wake up and do what pleases her without informing me. That it won't be possible.

This morning she greeted my wife with her departure news. That her mother want her back. I said no problem. But that her uncle who gave her to me will have to come pick her during the weekend that we will be home.

Note:
1 We have been paying her promptly as agreed since her arrival.
2. We got her a phone within the short period she has been with us.
3. We even enrolled her for jamb this year so she can go to school. Which she even passed (210) with plans on ground for her studies.
4. Got her reasonable amount of clothes.

My people, what's my wrong in insisting that we be informed adequately before any of her visitor come visiting? Or are they trying to take advantage of our kind gestures?

If only you will take this my advice. I pray you do. Take it as a, warning. DO NOT WAIT TILL WEEKEND. GO NOW AND DROP THAT GIRL WITH THE UNCLE.DONT GIVE HER CASH DIRECTLY. PAY IT INTO HER ACCOUNT. You are about to dodge a bullet. Be careful!

From what u just narrated op, I fear you might be dealing with some criminals. Your family is not safe especially your kids. The earlier you take a step and if possible involve the law enforcement now b4 they take you unawares.