Timmy was here

so funny....
That slap, I can never forget,My uncle ....asking rhetorical questions that'll make you be looking like a mumus !!!!and when you keep quiet,una don become mate ..na slap kuku dey follow am,that kinda slap that you'll see a sudden flashlight like star!!! chai!!!

endowednicky:
so funny....
That slap, I can never forget,My uncle ....asking rhetorical questions that'll make you be looking like a mumus !!!!and when you keep quiet,una don become mate ..na slap kuku dey follow am,that kinda slap that you'll see a sudden flashlight like star!!! chai!!!

Hilarious!

That slap that you'll begin to see Many bright stars in your eyes.

Cc:Lalasticlala and Farano.
Which of these can you relate with?

Funny,

At infancy; Parents teach their kids how to 'talk and walk' When they become Adults, same parents orders them to 'sit down and shut up.'

DanceVille:
Really?
But some Dad also do Number1, 7 and 10.

lolz. It runs in Nigerian parent blood.

Marlvin:
Funny,

At infancy; Parents teach their kids how to 'talk and walk' When they become Adults, same parents orders them to 'sit down and shut up.'

It's dumbfounded me also.

Amen

op na Yoruba guy... that number 5.... if I hear pim

Drefan2:
When I was little, I outrightly detest being sent on errands when my sega game controller is firmly gripped in my hands, with my eyes glued to the TV screen, hitting its buttons vigorously.

Ironically, I was always chosen to go for the most scary of errands. I can still remember vividly what happened years back when I was told to go and fetch water from a stream not far from our residence.

At first, I vehemently protested but I had no choice than to concede defeat as I was the only available lad left at home.

It was a sunny afternoon. I grabbed a 4 liter container and started off running to the stream barefoot - cause under a strict rule that attracted serious sanction, you dare not step into the stream with foot wears - so that I wouldn't be delayed by whatsover obligation.

When I got there, everywhere was dead calm. None of the trees were moving. Even the air there was motionless. It was like all elements of nature conspired against me. Mehn. . . I quickly lowered my container deeply, but mildly into the water for it to be filled up to the brim, but I was jumpy & fücking scared the whole time as I glanced back at intervals at the slopy ascent going off the stream.

To aggravate issues, the stream used only one route on entering and the same route on going out. I had never been more terrified in my entire life. It seemed like the water container I brought along to get water would take forever to fill up.

Finally, I sealed my small container, lifted it atop my head and did Usain Bolt's unrivalled race home.

U suppose be thriller director.

I remember mine. Whenever a sexual scene mistakenly pops up on the screen, you see popsy observing me from the corner of his eyes. The discomfort from his eyes and my JT instantly makes me pretend I have mosquito bites.

headboiy:
Op forgot about watching tv n a romance scene comes up

Momma will be like "headboiy u are still here watching tv, go and wash the compound"

Hehhehe....my dad was even like "Uche, have you ironed my car,.." Me self responded without think "Yes sir"

headboiy:
Op forgot about watching tv n a romance scene comes up

Momma will be like "headboiy u are still here watching tv, go and wash the compound"

Hehhehe....my dad was even like "Uche, have you ironed my car,.." Me self responded without thinking "Yes sir"

This is totally true of a Nigerian mum. every bit of it reminds me of when we were younger (my siblings and I) ...

Funny enough none of it relates to my dad. He will never send you on those lazy errands or give you all this Nigerian parents speech. He won't eye you in public or lay a finger on any of us... He was totally the good cop to us. While mum was the bad cop

another. garri in d morning, afternoon and night

Bck then whenever I came bck wt my results n my mum wasn't comfortable wt my it, she ll be like when I was ur age----its only 1st I made, only 1st. Those dt r getting 1st do they hv two heads. Really made me to buckle up though. Num 4 is typically my mum---whenever I go out wt my mum I always couple myself wela oooo----i watch her face like television till we get home, if nt hmmmm. Once we get home she ll start----why did u sit like dt?? Did u nt see wen I told u nt to accept dt?? And I ll b like huh!! When kwa All these makes her my special lady.

Asable:
Chia, that no 6 was my mother's national anthem, I hated that phrase "you have started growing breast, we are now mates"

You sef, you think say because u don get small boil for chest you fit de misbehave for house abi? Lolz

First thing that comes to mind after reading write-ups like this is "were we all raised by same parents" because we all can relate

If I do something and no one queries me at home, I'll worry myself to death before the finally get to killing me.


I experienced everything. No. 8 pain me die all the time....

what of when, you do all the chores, been active from early morning to like 3pm and then your parents will see you lying down and be like
You're so lazy, what have done since morning and you're lying down.

All you do is eat and sleep...

#6 very tru

when they add you on Facebook and stalk your every posts and likes.

i did not kill my mother o.....so u cannot kill......i did not troulem my mother like this attal

OP which one did you participated in

I love dis thread ...
My mum did all to us even my neighbours too did same to their children...
U will hear " Emekaaaaaaaaaaa give me dat water on d table and her leg on is on dat table"

mum didn't do most of them,I can count how many times I was beaten by my mum,guess I wasnt naughty as a child,but I did have one aunty who stayed with us for a while,whose eyes would make you wish the ground will open up and swallow you,she had a way of passing across her disapproval just by staring at you

Mum be like "m talking to you and yu looking at me in the eyes.. Shey dem don giv yu chop abi"? I go kee yu today

Can't relate with any of them ooooo.
Wait lemme call mummy and ask her if daddy is truly nigerian or half french

DanceVille:
Firstly, growing up with Nigerian parents is mega interesting.Reflecting on the things they often force us to do would leave many laughing hysterically.They make us serve them compulsorily.If you tried to stand against your parents there's a chance that you could win series of slaps doing so.

Chances are you would probably do same for your children too.

1. When You're Sent On Unnecessary Errands

Nigerian mums are known for sending their childrens on annoying errands.Imagine being called by your mum from a distance only for her to ask you to get her something within her reach.

2. When There's A Reason For You Failing At Something

Nigerian parents love to jump into conclusion.Trying to explain a situation to them is almost impossible.Nigerian parents would be like..

"Why wouldn't you hit your head, when you wouldn't face where you're going..."

3. Are You Ok?

Nigerian parents are not checking your mental health here, when they say this, they're trying to call your attention to your stupidity.

4. When You're Being Eyed In Public/Event

Please don't be carried away when you go out with your Nigerian mum.She expects you to check her face for signs.Don't eat when she blinks her eyes funnily, you do so and you're dead.

5. When You're Expected To Cry Without Making Noise

When your parents beat you and threaten you about crying.. You hear words like!

"Hold it! If I hear pim..."

6. When Your Actions Are Being Justified

Parents justify their childrens' actions and form a new reason to lash out at them.

"Why won't You talk back at me when you have started developing Breast?"

7. When Parents Don't Want To Accept Defeat

Sometimes parents feel they have gone overboard with certain issues but still try to cover up their mistakes.They find a way of covering their own fault and make their childrens victim again.

"You're as tall as I am now, why wouldn't you talk to me like that".

8. When They Want To Be Dramatic

Parents know they could move their children to emotion by crying and acting sad.They say things like.

"After everything I've done for you, I carried you in my womb for nine months".Trust me, you would end up in tears yourself.

9. When Your Mum Cheats You By Collecting Money From You

Mother have interesting attributes.They assume the role of a bank when someone gives you money.When you try to have your money back, you would be told.

"All the food you're been eaten in this house was given to me in the market freely abi?".

10. When Your Parents Want To End Up Chastising Session

We all know parents don't get tired of correcting their childrens either by beating or lashing them with words.However, they have a unique way of concluding their speeches.

"We would keep telling you the truth, the rest is totally up to you.If you continue, you're doing yourself.

I drop my pen at this juncture.

Nairalanders, which of these can you relate with?

Feel free to add yours.

List Compiled By
DanceVille

11. They are always the best in class when they were younger... they'll be like "when I was your age, my position in class was always first..." please who then came last in class... that question neva get answer till tomorrow...

Wen i was lyk 8 i rememba wen she said "ave been washing ur cloth since morning u cannot even help me rinse ehn (An 8 yr old?)......i did nt even do lyk diz to my moda see iz head.....





Sometyms he will report me to dad nd dad will b lyk go nd bring my belt den i will hear my mum whispering "plzz dnt beat im just use it to scare im" nd dad will say "why did u nw report im"

Wickedness is when she called you all the way from your room to her room, that you should give her the phone beside her
Our parent sha

Our Nigerian parents lying since 1880
All of them na first, I come dey wonder who is the second

mrdba:


11. They are always the best in class when they were younger... they'll be like "when I was your age, my position in class was always first..." please who then came last in class... that question neva get answer till tomorrow...