A FRIEND WROTE;

I am writing to you in order to make someone understand that it's good to appreciate our partners despite their flaws.

I am 32 years old. My ex hubby & I dated for six years. We where best of friends, I waited until he completed college and started work, my family and his family then met, we got married and had a son. (7 years old now).
My husband was short tempered at times, but our problems started when I wanted to make him feel he couldn't control me.

Every time we argued, I would pack my bags, go to my family and explain. My sisters would phone my husband and shout at him. If he was controlling me I would always dare him that if he wished, he could divorce me.

I never wanted divorce, I just had pride and I never wanted to look like a loose woman in his eyes. One day I pushed him so hard that for the first time he beat me and locked me outside. I went to my family, my family took him to the police, every time I looked like I was being abused! But to be honest, I used to abuse my husband emotionally. He was arrested and detained. I was asked by his family to withdraw the case, I felt that what I was doing was wrong.

My husband was never a violent man, he did what he did because I pushed him to the wall of which he openly knelt down and apologized. I withdrew the charge, and we reconciled. After three months, I packed my bags after a small issue, and he remained alone. After two days I received a call that he was in the hospital, my family told me that I shouldn't go there because it would look like I was begging him, and my sisters believed he was feigning the illness.

All this time, people felt sorry for me like I was the one being abused. He spent a week in the hospital, after he came out, I just received a divorce summon. I wanted to say no to divorce, but because I felt this pride, I wanted him to change his mind and beg me. I called him and said he would get the divorce because I lived like I was in hell.

When we went to court, I wanted to make him pay, so I told the court that I needed his properties to be shared. To my surprise he openly told the court that whatever he and I acquired together should be given to me, all he wanted was divorce.

We were divorced in 2009 July.
Now, this Saturday (today) my husband is marrying, whilst l am here wasted! My family members are gossiping about me, I depend on what my ex gives to my son for survival. I know I wasted my
marriage. I am here telling all wives that they should be careful how they get advise.

Don't be cheated, don't entertain family interference in your marriage my dear reader. Even my young sisters are much more respected than me. Those who encouraged me to get divorced are always teasing and
bad mouthing me. Please ladies be vigilant in your marriage

Thought it wise to share my story to save your marriage.
There is no benefit in pride for nothing.

#SOMETIMES IT'S NOT THE MAN'S FAULT AT ALL,IT'S YOUR PRIDE,AND THE PEOPLE YOU ALLOW TO ADVISE YOU. I read this story and felt the need to share it

Chey ya, but you guys weren't meant for each other

Pride precedes failure.

You never really was interested the marriage.

Both parties should know when to let go of their pride. What kind of pride is it that will kept you away from your husband when he needed you the most?

Now you are sober, not only because you don't know who will ever marry you but because you are also missing his money.

Get you life together, learn from your mistakes and I'm sure you will meet someone else. But next time when you do, learn from your mistakes know when to let go of pride and never let any one meddle into your personal affair except when necessary.

Resurgence:
You never really was interested the marriage.

.

many ladies these days have this issue and its 1 reason so many of them are single.They allow their friends who dont know any better to think and carry out decisions for them.

olisasegun:
A FRIEND WROTE;

I am writing to you in order to make someone understand that it's good to appreciate our partners despite their flaws.

I am 32 years old. My ex hubby & I dated for six years. We where best of friends, I waited until he completed college and started work, my family and his family then met, we got married and had a son. (7 years old now).
My husband was short tempered at times, but our problems started when I wanted to make him feel he couldn't control me.

Every time we argued, I would pack my bags, go to my family and explain. My sisters would phone my husband and shout at him. If he was controlling me I would always dare him that if he wished, he could divorce me.

I never wanted divorce, I just had pride and I never wanted to look like a loose woman in his eyes. One day I pushed him so hard that for the first time he beat me and locked me outside. I went to my family, my family took him to the police, every time I looked like I was being abused! But to be honest, I used to abuse my husband emotionally. He was arrested and detained. I was asked by his family to withdraw the case, I felt that what I was doing was wrong.

My husband was never a violent man, he did what he did because I pushed him to the wall of which he openly knelt down and apologized. I withdrew the charge, and we reconciled. After three months, I packed my bags after a small issue, and he remained alone. After two days I received a call that he was in the hospital, my family told me that I shouldn't go there because it would look like I was begging him, and my sisters believed he was feigning the illness.

All this time, people felt sorry for me like I was the one being abused. He spent a week in the hospital, after he came out, I just received a divorce summon. I wanted to say no to divorce, but because I felt this pride, I wanted him to change his mind and beg me. I called him and said he would get the divorce because I lived like I was in hell.

When we went to court, I wanted to make him pay, so I told the court that I needed his properties to be shared. To my surprise he openly told the court that whatever he and I acquired together should be given to me, all he wanted was divorce.

We were divorced in 2009 July.
Now, this Saturday (today) my husband is marrying, whilst l am here wasted! My family members are gossiping about me, I depend on what my ex gives to my son for survival. I know I wasted my
marriage. I am here telling all wives that they should be careful how they get advise.

Don't be cheated, don't entertain family interference in your marriage my dear reader. Even my young sisters are much more respected than me. Those who encouraged me to get divorced are always teasing and
bad mouthing me. Please ladies be vigilant in your marriage

Thought it wise to share my story to save your marriage.
There is no benefit in pride for nothing.

#SOMETIMES IT'S NOT THE MAN'S FAULT AT ALL,IT'S YOUR PRIDE,AND THE PEOPLE YOU ALLOW TO ADVISE YOU. I read this story and felt the need to share it

I know this story is 100% made up, but i will still respond. If she had remained in the marriage, she might be dead by now. If being single or divorced is worse than death for her, then that is her personal problem. If her life is wasted because she is divorced then her life was wasted before she got married. She needs to work on herself , your friend doesn't sound proud rather it seems she has a very low opinion of herself

.

Most times I find it difficult to believe, the extent some women go to prove they are not inferior in a relationship, despite the fact that nobody ever says they are.

olisasegun:
Most times I find difficult to believe, the extent some women go to prove they are not inferior in a relationship, despite the fact that nobody ever says they are.

1. What did your friend mean that her husband was 'short tempered'?

2. Why has she not gotten something doing 6yrs later and still depending on her ex's allowee?

3. A lot of people believe the dynamics of 'African' marriage makes a husband superior. My enlightened colleagues still had that discussion... Perhaps the husband projected that she was?

bukatyne:


1. What did your friend mean that her husband was 'short tempered'?

2. Why has she not gotten something doing 6yrs later and still depending on her ex's allowee?

3. A lot of people believe the dynamics of 'African' marriage makes a husband superior. My enlightened colleagues still had that discussion... Perhaps the husband projected that she was?

Maybe, she believed her ex will come back to beg. So she waited until..... Thinking she doesn't have to do anything until then.

olisasegun:


Maybe, she believed her ex will come back to beg. So she waited until..... Thinking she doesn't have to do anything until then.

Since the ex didn't come back, why didn't she move on?

Resurgence:


True, whenever my big sister has problems she runs to mumcy for advice. I always tell her settle you marriage issue with your husband, talk it out with out involving mumcy.

I always believe communication is the answer to every martial problem except where the partner is just plain troublesome or wicked as the case may be.

But people tend to not communicate with their spouses and do with others therefore leading to other bigger issues than initial problem.


How can you say because of pride you move out and don't resolve issues instead take it to your family. So they do what?

one big mistake many ladies make in marriage is by calling parents to settle scores.they forget that the guy too has parents and that decision pushes them outside to other girls. I have a friend who got separated with his wife because he couldnt meet up with his father in laws so called expectations and the man was also always meddling in their affairs.

Agreed women are manipulative and can be pushy, I can't just place my hands on it, but the tone of the so called writer of this story suggest it was made up and written by a male.

More like he was trying (albeit unsuccessful) to really stress the point that after divorcing, women become losers, laughing stock, lonely, hungry etc..

Perhaps in light of the discussion about Lekan and his late wife, dude is trying to make it appear the man is the abused one.

#SayNoToAbusiveRelationships

Aquariann:
Agreed women are manipulative and can be pushy, I can't just place my hands on it, but the tone of the so called writer of this story suggest it was made up and written by a male.

More like he was trying (albeit unsuccessful) to really stress the point that after divorcing, women become losers, laughing stock, lonely, hungry etc..

Perhaps in light of the discussion about Lekan and his late wife, dude is trying to make it appear the man is the abused one.

#SayNoToAbusiveRelationships

Thank you, this is nothing but a propaganda piece written to make to make it seem like women are usually the causes of domestic violence and divorce and they will regret bit after This was clearly written by a man and in won't be surprised if it was written by one of those that have been shouting how women wanting equality is the problem in today's marriages

Mamatee07:


Thank you, this is nothing but a propaganda piece written to make to make it seem like women are usually the causes of domestic violence and divorce and they will regret bit after This was clearly written by a man and in won't be surprised if it was written by one of those that have been shouting how women wanting equality is the problem in today's marriages

Yea right. Just surprised no one else noticed it as everyone seemed to be engaging the Op who is actually my prime suspect

Whether the story is made up or not, I know for sure that this happens. Most times women with this attitude don't change until they fall completely.

olisasegun:
Most times I find it difficult to believe, the extent some women go to prove they are not inferior in a relationship, despite the fact that nobody ever says they are.

Don't be so absolute with your statement. And just speak for yourself.
Some men do say or imply that women are inferior to men.

Whether the stubborn women on this thread want to believe it or not, stories like this happen all the time.

My dear OP thanks for this post pls kindly send me your thro this line 08167489846 for me to send to you my friends wife number to talk to her before she make such mistake as urs.

KevinDein:
Whether the stubborn women on this thread want to believe it or not, stories like this happen all the time.

Supported.

Aquariann:


Yea right. Just surprised no one else noticed it as everyone seemed to be engaging the Op who is actually my prime suspect

Really, you seemed so sure l wrote this myself. Why would I do that?

I am happily married with a fantastic and beautiful woman and a lovely son. I respect women and I am always on their side when it comes to gender issues. What is my gain by making up such a story?

The question is what is a big deal or difficult in learning from others mistakes? 

Must you see everything in feminine side of thought? 

I am very much aware some men could be terrible but the truth is that many family problems are started by women.

The only reason I uploaded this story was for others to read and learn. Who knows, this might save a few.