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Moms and dads, I need your advice. I am a 34 years old man, married to a 32 years- old woman with two kids, both boys. My wife is a very lovely woman, and the best I can ever ask for. We courted for about 2 years before we got married. About a month ago, I noticed my wife was getting withdrawn, talks less and was becoming a ghost of herself. I asked her over and over again what the problem was, and she finally told me. She said she thinks our first child is not mine and she has been carrying the burden around for 3 years. I was confused, I almost collapsed, as I didn’t believe what I was hearing. I left the house for a hotel to think about it and to calm my nerves. After 3 days, I went back home and asked her what made her think so. She said she went to a birthday party some months after our wedding and got drunk. She didn’t know how she ended up in bed with a guy from her past who she met at the party. She said she begged the guy and told him it was a mistake that should never happen again, after which she cut off all communication. She said after arriving home the next day, we had sex and she got pregnant. So she is not sure who the rather is. I digested everything and decided to get a DNA test done. The results are back, and the boy is not mine. I don’t know what to do. My wife is very instrumental to my success and I love her very much, but I am confused. She is a mess at the moment. I have not discussed this with anyone. The child in question is a very lovely child, who I can’t afford to let go of. I also don’t want a broken home as I know the effects on children. My wife is begging for my forgiveness and she said she does not intend involving the other guy at all. What do I do please?

Accept Ur wife's apology and move on..even u know that the child is not urs, but if.u really love that child, take it & accept it as it is urs....

Forgiveness is the key...

my brother I beg you forgive her........but don't forget.

KashyBaby:
Accept Ur wife's apology and move on..even u know that the child is not urs, but if.u really love that child, take it & accept it as its urs....

Forgiveness is the key...

obviously, the man would want to forgive his wife but the lingering question will be, can I still trust her?

Thiwalade:
obviously, the man would want to forgive his wife but the lingering question will be, can I still trust her?

When trust is broken, u can't fix that anymore but juz give another chance if she can change..

forgiveness, they say, is divine. ..

Thiwalade:
Moms and dads, I need your advice. I am a
34 years old man, married to a 32 years-
old woman with two kids, both boys. My
wife is a very lovely woman, and the best I
can ever ask for.
We courted for about 2 years before we got
married. About a month ago, I noticed my
wife was getting withdrawn, talks less and
was becoming a ghost of herself. I asked
her over and over again what the problem
was, and she finally told me.
She said she thinks our first child is not
mine and she has been carrying the burden
around for 3 years. I was confused, I
almost collapsed, as I didn’t believe what I
was hearing. I left the house for a hotel to
think about it and to calm my nerves.
After 3 days, I went back home and asked
her what made her think so. She said she
went to a birthday party some months after
our wedding and got drunk. She didn’t
know how she ended up in bed with a guy
from her past who she met at the party. She
said she begged the guy and told him it
was a mistake that should never happen
again, after which she cut off all
communication. She said after arriving
home the next day, we had sex and she got
pregnant. So she is not sure who the rather
is.
I digested everything and decided to get a
DNA test done. The results are back, and
the boy is not mine. I don’t know what to
do. My wife is very instrumental to my
success and I love her very much, but I am
confused. She is a mess at the moment. I
have not discussed this with anyone. The
child in question is a very lovely child, who
I can’t afford to let go of. I also don’t want
a broken home as I know the effects on
children. My wife is begging for my
forgiveness and she said she does not
intend involving the other guy at all. What
do I do please?

Well, there's nothing you can do @the moment cos the deed has already been done...my advice, if she's actually sincere and genuine about this, i think you should forgive her hence she will never involve the other guy...as for the boy, just adopt him as your son...

Accept the child and forgive your wife. Pls, don't ever mention that they child is not urs when they children are around

I feel your pain bro,but just forgive her because u can't avert what has happened .God give u the strength to overcome this period

Are u a fool? Well the ball is in your court. Count the cost of ur actions b4 u take it. Ur family on hearng this will diasgree with u keeping her as wife. And if u don't want them to know, know that ur wife can do worse things to you since u're fooliish enough to agree to live with a woman and another person's son.

No matter how nice she is, she's a woman and women change like d wind. She's as good as u described yet got drunk and opened her legs 4 anoda man when she was bethrothed to you. It seems uve not been exposed to d bad side of women b4 u married. Even ur life is at risk as u speak.

Besides a woman who could keep such a secret from you can kill you d day u decide after a long time to leak the secret. No matter how u love her, its ideal to let her family knw what she did and let her face the consequencies 1ce and 4 all. D child can be taken to his father and u can decide to take ur wife back later after convincing ur people esp bcus she also has a child 4 u. But 4 now do what has to be done and stop acting childish

Anyway u're lucky sha. Many men are still claiming d child of another man and they don't know. Women are sweetest to be used 4 evil. Even serpent lucifer knows that.

@Op infact I must commend your maturity on the issue...becos u didn't overreact judging from the way you explained it... It is not an easy thing to do for men to overlook such thing your wife did. But love they say covers all things. Op from the bottom of ur hrt if u can forgive your wife n let her know you are supporting her on any decision she takes on the child then it would be great and God would surely help your marriage. Think positive, Live righteous and most importantly always forgive!

BEST OF LUCK!!

If her story is true, which I doubt anyway, its time to look for the father. You can't continue bearing the responsibilities of another... Your wife is your gr8est asset as you've said, so divorce is not even an option at all.

And , for the records I'm not a daddy yet. Just talking commonsense.

Oga Sir,this is a very sensitive issue and issue of love here is a Big No.i have got to first commend you for your take on the matter and application of wisdom to this issue.But the steps you are going to take Is very very pivotal to the growth of your marriage and family.The devil has planted a big seed in your marriage and God has revealed that seed to you.if you nurture that seed,it will definitely destroy your home or remove that seed and avert upcoming calamities.it will very foolish not to involve both familes(yours and your wife's) in this situation.and you'll regret later if you ever raise that kid.forget love and apply more wisdom here.The man will definitely know he has a kid with your wife Either now or later.
Oga pls,call for a family meeting of both families and present the issue before them.Let the other man know he has a son,give him his child back.Go to God in prayer and ask for his guidance

Mr man I must confess this is a very complex situation which requires logical reasoning!my own advice would have been for you to move on but I know how hard it is to forget issues like this!but make sure you penalize your wife even though it won't be brutal.Btw,investigate the drinking part issue and make sure till she dies she never indulges in a stupid act like that!take heart sir!

Is that your wife at your DP?

Attention! everyone, although I'm the poster, it didn't happen to me, I just shared the story on here to see people's reaction to this sensitive matter

olac21:
Is that your wife at your DP?

lol.. no oooh my friend!

If your has broken up with the let the matter die and keep your family together and be sure to forgive your wife deeply.