On the first day of college, the dean/principal addresses the students pointing out some of the rules. "The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, so too the male dormitory to the female students.

Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined N200 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined N600. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of N1800. ARE THERE ANY QUESTIONS?".

To this, a male student in the crowd inquires: "HOW MUCH FOR A COMPLETE SEASON ?"

nice jokes  

The boi don plan to hammer all the girls for school

sexyLeamon:

nice work Ben, keep it up

thanks

Abbey_city:

nice jokes

FBS:

Cracking.

Please laff it out

speak louder na weti u talk; I only corrected an impression. look out!

Hmmmn nice collection

God is tired, worn out. So he speaks to St. Peter, "You know, I need a vacation. Got any suggestions where I should go?"

St. Peter, thinking, nods his head, then says, "How about Jupiter? It's nice and warm there this time of the year."

God shakes His head before saying, "No. Too much gravity. You know how that hurts my back."

"Hmmm," St. Peter reflects. "Well, how about Mercury?"

"No way!" God mutters, "It's way too hot for me there!"

"I've got it," St. Peter says, his face lighting up. "How about going Down to Earth for your vacation?"

Chuckling, God remarks, "Are you kidding? Two thousand years ago I went there, had an affair with some nice Jewish girls, and they're STILL talking about it!"

tight!

Nice.

Really tite!

Cutie how body

body dey inside boxers

you wey go snap passport, ya leg show  short tin

A boy once prayed:

Dear God,

Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones,
why not keep and save the ones you have now.

Thank you God for the baby sister you gave me, but what I
prayed for was for a puppy. 

God, maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each if they had
their own rooms, it works with my brother.

Once upon a time, there was a river. The Nile River, to be precised. On one side of the river lived the rabbit, and on the other side lived the bear.

One fine day, the bear was sitting on a stump, enjoying his breakfest of berries. Then he heard someone yelling at him. It was the rabbit.

"Hey! Hey, Teddy, get your butt over here. I've got something to show you!"

"Not now! I'm eating."

"Oh come on!" said the rabbit. "It's really important."

"No way."

"Please. It's urgent."

So the bear decided to go all the way over the wide river. It took him all day and all night to get over to the other side. He nearly drowned. And when he finally got there he was groaning and panting, and wheezing for air.

"Well, rabbit," he panted. "What did you want to tell me?"

"Hey, Teddy," the rabbit began, "look how many berries are on the other side of the river."

A CEO throwing a party takes his executives on a tour of his opulent mansion. In the back of the property, the CEO has the largest swimming pool any of them has ever seen.

The huge pool, however, is filled with hungry alligators.

The CEO says to his executives "I think an executive should be measured by courage. Courage is what made me CEO. So this is my challenge to each of you: if anyone has enough courage to dive into the pool, swim through those alligators, and make it to the other side, I will give that person anything they desire. My job, my money, my house, anything!"

Everyone laughs at the outrageous offer and proceeds to follow the CEO on the tour of the estate. Suddenly, they hear a loud splash. Everyone turns around and sees the CFO (Chief Financial Officer) in the pool, swimming for his life. He dodges the alligators left and right and makes it to the edge of the pool with seconds to spare. He pulls himself out just as a huge alligator snaps at his shoes.

The flabbergasted CEO approaches the CFO and says, "You are amazing. I've never seen anything like it in my life. You are brave beyond measure and anything I own is yours. Tell me what I can do for you.

The CFO, panting for breath, looks up and says, "You can tell me who the hell pushed me in the pool!"

tight!

ya version na always fake na abeg drop am

really ?

Ben you've done so well!

Ben, Dani, By. Clem, Lysa, pls come to the aid of my beloved sylve11, he has been banned!

How come you know he's been banned? tell me his cyber time has expired for this month.

He sent me a mail, he said he sent you a mail also.

you don begin lie untop my mail box

One day a man was walking along the beach and found a bottle. He looked around and didn't see anyone so he opened it. A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out.

The genie said, "For your kindness I will grant you a wish, but only one."

The man thought for a minute and said, "I have always wanted to visit MECCA but have never been able to because I'm afraid of flying and ships make me seasick. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Saudi Arabia."

The genie thought for a minute and said, "No, I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved: the pilings needed to hold up the highway, how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement that would be needed. No, that is just too much to ask."

The man thought for a minute and then told the genie, "Well, there is one other thing that I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand my girlfriend. What makes her laugh and cry, why is she temperamental, why is she so difficult to get along with? Basically, what makes her tick?"

The genie considered for a few minutes and said, "So, do you want two lanes or four?

A nun woke up one morning feeling great, she got out of bed and decided to go to the kitchen for some breakfast.

On her way over there she runs into sister Jane and she says, "Hi sister Jane," by which sister Jane says, "I see you got off on the wrong side of the bed sister. She did not understand what sister Jane meant by that so she ignored it and went on.

She was passing by the garden when she ran into sister Roberta and she says, "Good morning sister Roberta I am having a great day. Sister Roberta says, "I see you got off
on the wrong side of the bed."

The nun was wondering why everybody she met kept saying that when she felt great so she decides to go and see mother superior.

She asks mother superior, "Everybody keeps telling me that I got off on the wrong side of the bed when I feel great and mother superior says,"That is because you have brother John's shoes on."

A guy dies and is sent to hell. Extremely frightened because of that, he is very surprised when he arrives; beach, palm trees, sun is shining, happy people around in shorts and bikinis.

Behind the next corner there are people eating great food and there's some cool music playing.

After some time of wondering, a man in an expensive suit approaches him and says: "Hi, you must be the new one. Welcome to hell, I'm the devil. As you're gonna spend eternity here, make yourself comfortable and have a drink. If anything bothers you, always feel free to ask me."

The guy still doesn't really understand what's going on, this is not what he expected; But finally he decides to inspect the area.

Everywhere he goes, there are people laughing and having a great time, there's games, party and fun all around. Then he arrives at a steep cliff that divides the paradise hell from an area underneath, and there is hell as we know it: demons torturing the doomed, there's fire and the smell of brimstone.

Shocked, he runs to the devil and says "Devil, how can that be? Here, we have the sweet eternity and down there people are tortured and burned! How can that be?!"

The devil laughs and says "Oh, that. That's the Catholics - they want it that way."

On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her.

When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

"Oh no, my dear, " replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."

She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, "And if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!"