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Things To Avoid When You Are In A Serious Relationship - Romance - Nairaland

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Things To Avoid When You Are In A Serious Relationship by hyman9ja(op): 12:47pm On Jun 14, 2016
Relationships can be tricky and they almost all come with some challenges. If you're lucky, you'll notice the red flags before they become too serious. There are the obvious ones, such as emotional, verbal or physical abuse, that are automatic grounds for ending things. And a lot of drama (yelling, crying, continuous bickering, roller coaster emotions) rarely indicates a happy union.


But then there are the less obvious mistakes. The ones that, if left ignored or uncorrected, cause strain and could even ruin your happily ever after. If you are guilty of one or several of the eight below, don't panic. All relationships involve learning and growing. Recognize where you can make improvements and then get to it.

1. Saying “nothing is wrong”

Some issues or insults can seem so obvious that you can't imagine your partner not realizing they did something wrong. So rather than discussing the problem, you stay silent and sulk about how they don't seem to care that you are upset. When asked, “What's wrong?” it's so much easier and less painful to say “nothing.” It's a momentary band-aid, but the problem remains. You either stay angry and resentful, or you move on and sweep the unresolved issue under the rug, which only gives it the opportunity to arise days, weeks, or months later with even greater ugliness.

2. Walking away

This should not be confused with giving each other space. Taking a breather to calm down or clear your head during an argument is a good thing. If you want to leave, ask your partner if you can take a few minutes to collect your thoughts—kind of like hitting the pause button. But cutting the conversation off because you're done is unfair play. “Never walk away, That sets a standard. Then the next time you argue, you'll need to walk away and slam the door behind you to prove your point. The next time you'll walk away, slam the door behind you and never come back.” Her point is that allowing this type of behavior once makes it easier to up the ante every time. Don't allow yourself to succumb to that slippery slope. Grit your teeth, swallow your pride, and finish the discussion.

3. Reacting on emotion

This is the hardest one for most women, is the fact that they are emotional, they like to express their feelings openly, positive or negative, as soon as they feel them. take this example, when Stella started dating her now husband, she would tell him right away when she was upset. Sometimes it was a good thing, but most times she made assumptions and reacted on those assumptions. one night was her breakthrough moment: They were watching TV and he was checking his Facebook on his computer when she saw over his shoulder that a certain ex of his had messaged him. Unlike usual, she resisted the urge to say something. she took a deep breath and decided to give it a night. The next morning he told her about the message on his own accord. By taking a step back, she had avoided a completely unnecessary fight born of emotion and assumptions.

4. Comparing your partner to an ex

The human mind naturally looks for patterns. When we experience a situation that's even remotely similar to something from our past, we draw conclusions based on that past experience. This is how we improve our lives and learn, after all. But when it comes to relationships, this logic can be detrimental. For example, let's say your ex took a long time to return your calls when he/she was losing interest in the relationship....Continue Reading Here >>> http://lovefac3..com.ng/2016/06/things-to-avoid-when-you-are-in-serious.html

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Re: Things To Avoid When You Are In A Serious Relationship by Cutehector(m): 12:54pm On Jun 14, 2016
Silent treatment!
Re: Things To Avoid When You Are In A Serious Relationship by dgalon(m): 12:57pm On Jun 14, 2016
Alrite
Re: Things To Avoid When You Are In A Serious Relationship by ForeverYoung197(f): 1:00pm On Jun 14, 2016
How would I know anyway if I'm in the state of "serious relationship" ?
Re: Things To Avoid When You Are In A Serious Relationship by mhizeva(f): 1:24pm On Jun 14, 2016
This seems inexperienced... as showing our flaws in the relationship helps the partners get more closer... You should have said ladies should not scream and behave like young children when our hubby gives us a gift or proposes to us with a diamond ring because we are in a serious relationship...

1. Saying nothing is wrong....
women are complicated creatures (i heard guys say that lot) But the reason why we say nothing is wrong when something is. .... Is because we want to see how caring and discerning the man is... Would he just be unconcerned and be like ok.. nothing is wrong! or will he try to make us tell him... Thereby improving the trust in the relationship...
Remember without Trust the relationship is kkkkkkk *slices neck*

2. Reacting on Emotion...
Ohh seriously you can blame us for that, but training a woman to just not react on emotion is like changing her personality... I have crazy girlfriends who break their phones when their are in rage... Although those ones need anger management.. But it could be best to have an understanding man react to us in rage .... than a man who could want us to change ourselves without supporting or understanding why we have no self control...

Chai this is getting long ooo

3. Walking away (sometimes its better to walk away than react to the enraged man and let him beat you to stupor...

Stay Healthy, Stay Wise
Re: Things To Avoid When You Are In A Serious Relationship by mhizeva(f): 1:26pm On Jun 14, 2016
ForeverYoung197:
How would I know anyway if I'm in the state of "serious relationship" ?
When you start imaging him carrying a child you both gave birth to..

Or when you imagine walking down the altar with him....

If not the two of this, then you are not in a serious relationship..
Re: Things To Avoid When You Are In A Serious Relationship by bqlekan(m): 1:55pm On Jun 14, 2016
There will always a time when you have to walk away. I will say, "Know when to walk away"
Re: Things To Avoid When You Are In A Serious Relationship by hyman9ja(op): 2:53pm On Jun 14, 2016
ForeverYoung197:
How would I know anyway if I'm in the state of "serious relationship" ?
When you guys start thinking long term....you know u r in a serious relationship
Re: Things To Avoid When You Are In A Serious Relationship by hyman9ja(op): 2:56pm On Jun 14, 2016
bqlekan:
There will always a time when you have to walk away. I will say, "Know when to walk away"
Even in relationships that worked there were always opportunities for each partner to walk away...so it all depends
Re: Things To Avoid When You Are In A Serious Relationship by Rexhenrex(m): 2:57pm On Jun 14, 2016
.
Re: Things To Avoid When You Are In A Serious Relationship by hyman9ja(op): 3:00pm On Jun 14, 2016
Cutehector:
Silent treatment!
Saying “nothing is wrong”, Staying silent wen you need to clear the air is wrong, because it will push u away over time.
Re: Things To Avoid When You Are In A Serious Relationship by Cutehector(m): 3:04pm On Jun 14, 2016
hyman9ja:
Saying “nothing is wrong”, Staying silent wen you need to clear the air is wrong, because it will push u away over time.
yea dats tru...



But why do people think because someone doesn't chat with them anymore, they feel the person dislikes them or smth. Wats ur opinion on that?


Let's say u happen to stop talkin with a lady and she keeps on pestering you abt what went wrong, what will u have to tell her to calm her down
Re: Things To Avoid When You Are In A Serious Relationship by Cutehector(m): 3:07pm On Jun 14, 2016
mhizeva:
When you start imaging him carrying a child you both gave birth to..

Or when you imagine walking down the altar with him....

If not the two of this, then you are not in a serious relationship..
lol what if he doesn't imagine himself being the father of her baby, or standing at altar to open her veil and kiss her?

And she imagines the same abt it,


Do u consider that relationship to be serious?
Re: Things To Avoid When You Are In A Serious Relationship by hyman9ja(op): 3:11pm On Jun 14, 2016
Cutehector:
yea dats tru...



But why do people think because someone doesn't chat with them anymore, they feel the person dislikes them or smth. Wats ur opinion on that?


Let's say u happen to stop talkin with a lady and she keeps on pestering you abt what went wrong, what will u have to tell her to calm her down
Its not entirely a ladies thing men too ask for explanations when you suddenly stop calling, texting, n chatting etc like b4...it might jst be that u r passing tru a phase in ur life n need sometime alone which is normal, but it will do a lot of good if u explained things to her instead of keeping her in the dark.
Re: Things To Avoid When You Are In A Serious Relationship by Cutehector(m): 3:14pm On Jun 14, 2016
hyman9ja:
Its not entirely a ladies thing men too ask for explanations when you suddenly stop calling, texting, n chatting etc like b4...it might jst be that u r passing tru a phase in ur life n need sometime alone which is normal, but it will do a lot of good if explained things to her instead of keeping them in the dark.
sometimes people read meanings into things... I could tell her I need sometime alone and she'll be like ooh, i'm now disturbing him.. alryt.. dah kind of thing.


Duno if u get it.
Re: Things To Avoid When You Are In A Serious Relationship by hyman9ja(op): 3:21pm On Jun 14, 2016
Cutehector:
sometimes people read meanings into things... I could tell her I need sometime alone and she'll be like ooh, i'm now disturbing him.. alryt.. dah kind of thing.


Duno if u get it.
yeah, i get u very well...it's because she must have had a bad experience related to that statement with an ex if u know what i mean, if u nid sometime alone it must be for a genuine reason and it must be clearly explained, else it will be observed as u wanting to pull out of the relationship stylishly
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