Should I Break Up With Her. - Romance - Nairaland
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| Should I Break Up With Her. by Nobody: 7:49am On Mar 12, 2016 |
Dear landers kindly advice me on what to do as I am presently lost on how to handle this. I meant this beautiful O level holder on Nov 2006 immediately after I left sec school. We started dating in 07 and I introduced her to my parents in March 07, cos my mum was on my neck that I didn't have a girlfriend at 17 after sec sch and being the first son. Anyway I had issues with my dad same year and had to move out of the house to go start life. This baby stood my me thru thick and thin against all advice from her friends and family and we never had issues. We started lots of business which she managed while I gained admission into UNI to study Engr and also hustle. She was also there for my mum when my mum was terribly sick and her other kids were less concerned she took care of my mum spent couple of weeks at the hospital with her and even after my mum left hospital and couldn't take care of her self and was at my place, she will bathe, feed and ensured she took her drugs while still taking care of our business. She is more than a daughter to my mum. I since graduated and after nysc and a year at home, I got a job in lag while she was in delta managing our biz. I proposed to her in 2013 while biz was still good and we had plans for wedding 2014/15 and her going back to school to get atleast an ND. Towards the end of 2013 business began to pack up and we were kind of living in debt and as such had to pack up the biz ( I am still paying the debt till date though almost done paying it) and suggested she learns tailoring/fashion making. An ideal she bought and I enrolled her into a good fashion school and she was among the very best. In fact myself and my mum bought her separate sewing machine to encourage her since we both share the same fate parents don't care. Mine is better cos my mum cares for me and by extension her. Her father who never really cared about her started mounting pressure on her to get married having been with me for close to 10yrs and then I was still searching for job. I got a job in 2014,but resumed in 2015 with a monthly net pay is 50k from which I pay bills and take care of my siblings as my mums biz is not doing too well at the moment. She has been on my neck to come fulfil her marriage rights since she is thru with her fashion school. So she can come join me in lagos. I initially thought age was on her side has she once told me she was 4years younger than my self and I am in my late 20s. I recently discovered she is actually 4years old than I. She is 32 going 33 while I am 28 going 29. I am yet to fully settle down much more getting married and raising a family plus I am yet to even raise money to start a business for her, get her enrolled in an international fashion making school here in lagos or get her a fashion or business management related job which is what she breathes and live and she is not the stay at home type. I could not fulfil this in 2015 and she has changed completely. I can't control her and don't even understand her any more. I suggested she should move to lagos let's live together, plan, save and raise money for the marriage but she is not buying that. I equally suggested we have a very low key marriage and postpone the issue of having kids pending when we are able to handle them financially, she is equally not buying that as she keeps reminding me that age is not on her side and also stating religious grounds on why she can't come live with me with proper marriage. What do I do? I am so confused right now as I never planed any of this. The pressure is much that I don't even know how to handle this anymore. Despite the pains of loving her cos I don't know what I will do with myself if I lose her. I suggested if marriage comes, she should accept it that I will understand since according to her I am not man enough at the moment, she refused that also saying she vowed before God to marry the man she losses her virginity to. Which I understand. Kindly advice me. She is a wonderful girl and I may never get such a beautiful piece of heavenly creature again if I lose her. You kindly and heart felt advice will be appreciated. Thanks |
| Re: Should I Break Up With Her. by Nobody: 7:51am On Mar 12, 2016 |
Sorry for the long epistle, I just had to explain things from all angle so you will have all the facts. |
| Re: Should I Break Up With Her. by StPete: 7:56am On Mar 12, 2016 |
You hav to stand as the man and take a decision. She can't have everything her way, it's either she comes and hustle wit u in Lagos (not advisable) or she gets married to u in d way u can afford and not minding d kids of she goes with someone else. She can't have it her way only! |
| Re: Should I Break Up With Her. by Nobody: 7:59am On Mar 12, 2016 |
specter:brb make i kpansh dis girl on my bed first |
| Re: Should I Break Up With Her. by Kondomatic(m): 8:06am On Mar 12, 2016 |
specter:Bro........ I don't think she has started mounting the right volume of pressures on you yet. Like seriously? God abeg pick my call and forward this kain lady to me now!!! Wetin I do you? Huh? @OP, a woman has got your ass since 06 and you still haven't made up your mind? Not only your ass, she got your family covered too! 4years age gap isn't bad, besides you didn't notice it until she told you which means she doesn't look old. No let that woman cry for you at night oo. She was with you when you had nothing so she has proven herself worthy of the wifey title. She will not leave you when things get bad(God forbid). Please marry her but if you can't then please connect me, my own bae dumped me 24hrs after I gave her part of school fees. Reason being that I didn't pay all. I just finished talking with the thunder that will fire her marriage when she finally settles down and they assured me that everything is being put in place. 2 Likes |
| Re: Should I Break Up With Her. by busterr(m): 8:09am On Mar 12, 2016 |
. |
| Re: Should I Break Up With Her. by Kondomatic(m): 8:09am On Mar 12, 2016 |
StPete:But the op has been having it his way since 06. Trust me, her hostility will die off naturally when the op finally meets her people. That woman is a Godsent. |
| Re: Should I Break Up With Her. by Nobody: 8:12am On Mar 12, 2016 |
I am ready to marry her today, cos I love her like mad. After God and my mum, she is the best thing to have happened to me I swear. But I lagos were after expenses I bearly save 250, how do we cope. Plus she doesn't have a job to assist, she wants to start having kids immediately and there are bills to be paid also. I don't want her or my kids to suffer economic hardship. Just trying to be careful plus I don't have money for marriage now. I nor fit thief na. Kondomatic: |
| Re: Should I Break Up With Her. by Nobody: 8:14am On Mar 12, 2016 |
I meant her people in 2013,before I proposed and things went bad financially and a employer of labour became an employee. Kondomatic: |
| Re: Should I Break Up With Her. by Sunkyphil(m): 8:14am On Mar 12, 2016 |
I know this is a very tough decision to make;but I tink she is acting d way she does cos age is no longer on her side.just b a lil bit patient with her n c how it goes |
| Re: Should I Break Up With Her. by busterr(m): 8:14am On Mar 12, 2016 |
pay her bride price or move your ass for someone that's actually serious to come and pay for it. |
| Re: Should I Break Up With Her. by Kondomatic(m): 8:20am On Mar 12, 2016 |
specter:Hahahahahaha. Goan meet her people and then do the introduction. It will cool things down. My opinion. |
| Re: Should I Break Up With Her. by Nobody: 8:21am On Mar 12, 2016 |
Thanks boss. To make matter worse, it's all on me financially, no body to assist except God. Her dad doesn't care and her mum who would have assisted dont have. My mums business is currently being challenged and I am evening helping with her loan repayment so she does not develop BP. My dad does not even know where I live or how I survive. So all financial expenses on me. Things didn't go as planned. Sunkyphil: |
| Re: Should I Break Up With Her. by grad2012(f): 8:23am On Mar 12, 2016 |
She luvs you and age is not on her side,that's why she's like that.Am a woman and am telling you women like that are hard to find. I understand her perfectly she doesn't want to come stay with you without marriage. Just get a nyc cheap ring at the jewelry store and take her to the registry just for a very small and simple wedding both of you and your immediatly families. later when you start earning enough you can change the ring and do some things. |
| Re: Should I Break Up With Her. by Nobody: 8:30am On Mar 12, 2016 |
Can I do that without the traditional and church marriage? If yes kindly guide me. Cos the last time I and my friends drew up a budget for the marriage, it was between 500k to 1.5m. And I was like hmmmm if I have that money I will rather set her up in biz let her enjoy, than spend it on marriage and have her suffer hardship cos she has suffered enough for me and with me. grad2012: |
| Re: Should I Break Up With Her. by DEXTROVERT: 8:34am On Mar 12, 2016 |
I Wish To Meet Someone Like Her Not All These OIL DIGGERs Who Flash To ask For Airtime And Never Call Back To Say Thanks... If U Break Her heart She'll Cause You With Her Two Boobs. |
| Re: Should I Break Up With Her. by Ab025(m): 9:07am On Mar 12, 2016 |
@poster Why did she lie to you about her age before and why is she acting all desperate now cos of her age?? I just hope she is nice o cos older gals can mount too much pressure sometimes. But you should marry her now if u are cool with her. You mustn't be making huge money before you get married!! |
| Re: Should I Break Up With Her. by sunny442: 12:32pm On Mar 19, 2016 |
Pls save up some money for the next 6months, I know u can save up atleast 50k in that period even with wat u earn now, go do see her people with some of the rites so you can atleast take her in, but no children yet, until u save up another chunk, don't dats marriage plans tinz for now it will only scare you, u earn small now, but u have potential to earn more its a mtter of short time now for you to gather somemore experience @ wat u do. Forget d I am a graduate tin for now just do it for her as a sacrifice for her and ur unborn children. Don't see it as marrying out of pit no, convince urself dat u rili love her that's y u r making d sacrifice for her happiness an urz too... |
| Re: Should I Break Up With Her. by Nobody: 7:34pm On Jul 06, 2016 |
Going by this topic I opened a while back and smiled. Life will very very sweet, more enjoyable and everyone Wil have patient and not make mistakes. I wrote this topic when I could feed , pay my rent, no car coz I just crashed the last one and was confused .Now Pepper don red small for my side to get a more decent accommodation , Behind up and save some with a couple more millions. My thinking pattern don change I swear . Now I dey tell my self if has been patient all this while when you had nothing she deserves the very best. I got a mini palace I have not told her about, well furnished, her.car in on the sea enroute NIGERIA, she does not know yet, and giving her a trad and white wedding while planing we can spend our honey moon outside Nigeria.cos I feel she deserves to se the world . Bless Nah rastaman itinually. Jah rastaferia |
| Re: Should I Break Up With Her. by marvelous000: 8:03pm On Jul 06, 2016 |
specter:[size=13pt] I-rey, rasta. Me ah pleased with ya plans for me sista May blessing of Jah, of I and I, be upon thy soul, In EYESUS KRESTOS HOLA NAME..SELAH. Babylon cyaan do you nada. Jah bless [/size] |
| Re: Should I Break Up With Her. by AfroKnight: 9:15pm On Jul 06, 2016 |
I think her only mistake was that she had been supportive and kind to you like a "WIFE". She probably played that role so well and consistently that you no longer realize that she's not yet your wife. Perhaps you don't know how rare such a woman is. She knows the situation of your finances and she is willing to go on with you? What more can you ask for in a woman? Don't make the mistake of pushing her away. Good times are ahead. If you want more time to save up, that's good. Just don't disappoint her later on. 1 Like |
| Re: Should I Break Up With Her. by Nobody: 5:04am On Jul 07, 2016 |
AfroKnight: Boss good morning sir. If you read my post of yesterday. You will understand that things have changed. Cos now I am begining to reason Nigeria roads are bad, book a flight for her let her fly down to slagos when I March I could barely pay her bus fare to Lagos. God is the freshest migthest and the greatest . You are cordially invited to our wedding on the 27th of August 2016. God bless you bros. |
| Re: Should I Break Up With Her. by firstking01(m): 5:20am On Jul 07, 2016 |
I did'nt see what's holding you not to marry her sef....since you have been coping when owite was blowing hard on you, is it nw that things have gotten a lil bit berra you can't cope in marriage?....i see nothing wrong here if you marry her, hence she 'll still be patient and willing to work out the future with you till things get better...and plus, she has a lucrative handwork and you have a bsc in engineering...your futures are bright. |
| Re: Should I Break Up With Her. by AfroKnight: 7:39am On Jul 07, 2016 |
specter: Congratulations bro. God bless your marriage. |
| Re: Should I Break Up With Her. by foolinlove(f): 8:00am On Jul 07, 2016 |
Here's the way I think: It doesn't matter what happened. If there is any doubt in your mind then you should break up. True love doesn't doubt. |
| Re: Should I Break Up With Her. by ummeey: 8:38am On Jul 07, 2016 |
marvelous000:Please will you teach me patua? |
| Re: Should I Break Up With Her. by samsam2019: 8:53am On Jul 07, 2016 |
Hmmmmmmm I don't think her age is an issue. From everything you posted here she loves you and you love her too. Don't let a good woman slip from your grasp. By all means marry her. |
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