So sorry you had to be a victim of a man full of insecurities. To be honest I will do just what you did, having a child that is a constant reminder of rejection and mistrust is not palatable. Work on yourself, find love where your heart seeks irrespective of tribe.

Does of u blaming her for opening her leg should grow up pls.

My dear u did the right tin, presently am in the mix of five married couples am d only single guy among them u guys need to see or hear most of the tins they say about there wife or husband, most of them some time regret why they marry who they marry. Op jst relax yr self nd heal frm the pass God will give u a better man.

Hi girl...I understand how u feel,God will forgive u...datz d problem with men dah can't make decision they will alwayz bring problems to their home...is good u didn't marry him...it would've been worst,sorry dear it is well.

Op I read your story to the end,same thing happened to my sister but she kept her pregnancy,everybody in rhe family supported her, the child she has is a darling to all,nobody jokes with her.

She's was a single mother until she got married again and the man is not a divorcee, the husband is fully aware of her past.

She has a child for the husband now and they hard to travel down to Lagos from Abuja for her to select the car she want.

Maybe if your parents and siblings were more supportive to u when your ex started showing his true colors, you won't have let go of the pregnancy.

In all I still woud not condemn you for what you did.


If I narrate my sister experience @ Op you would see yours is even better.

Op, I'm sorry, but I'm going to be a bit harsh on you.

The attracting factor about that man was his money, and you were still ready to take the BS handed down to you if not that he decided to call it off.
You need to develop your self esteem.
Your parents might not be well to do, but you have managed so far till you graduated from a higher institution before you met this guy.
So why do you think you can't survive without his wealth?
Concentrate on getting financially stable for now so you can help your parents and siblings. Marriage will come along the way.
No need to force things.

What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. You've learnt a life lesson, dont make the same mistakes again.

Believe and act as though you're the best thing that could ever happen to a guy, once again build your self esteem.

I distance myself from the people who said you deserved better from the guy, I'll rather say you deserve more for the below reasons.
1. It wasn't that you love this guy from the beginning, it was because you parents wanted you to marry based on tribal sentiments & you said you're literate. You fell for this & now that you're paying for it do they share in your pains?... Learn from that.
2. Say the truth & be set free. You didn't accept to marry this guy just because your parents want it that way but because you saw the guy as a well-to-do with. He has money & he can shoulders your responsibilities. It was because of the money & nothing more. You endured the way he maltreated you, even sexually because you didn't want to lose him due to the "largasse" he showed on you & your family. Now you've learnt your lesson. -not all that glittered is gold.

You may drive off my points but you know right within you they were true. Pls dont tell us you were beclouded by the love you have for him but only for his money, you only like him for his money. I am not gonna crucify you for aborting the baby, it's your life.

You were born & brought up in yoruba land & when you're now matured they(your parents) considered you better than the yorubas & only good for the igbo like you. Who treated you like this now?

I pray our ladies would learn from this

If na Bleep now u no go tire, Smh

FlawlesRebirth02:
Abeg I don taya,I no fit read••••i read half sha,will finish it lerra

ojun50:
Does of u blaming her for opening her leg should grow up pls.

My dear u did the right tin, presently am in the mix of five married couples am d only single guy among them u guys need to see or hear most of the tins they say about there wife or husband, most of them some time regret why they marry who they marry. Op jst relax yr self nd heal frm the pass God will give u a better man.

Tell her the truth & stop exonerating her so that others don't make the same mistake.

OP Your story is sad. Here are is my opinion.

Even without hindsight, I would not abort the baby. You are cutting your nose to spite your face. The baby didn't deserve to be punished for your sins. The year I graduated from secondary school, 2003, the best in JAMB that year was a guy whose mum didn't abort him. He went eventually went to an Ivy league school. I've forgotten his name, but google is your friend here. I remember his mom talking about it and how the guy is now a blessing to her.

I won't blame you for having sex, but you should not have had unprotected sex with the guy especially if you don't know his status. I don't care if he said another lady took away his virginity. I don't believe people who tell me they are virgins or on the pill. And you shouldn't believe a guy even if he says he has had a vasectomy.

I can never marry someone who isn't a degree holder. And I can never respect any lady that depends on me financially. What if I wasn't there, how would she live? Even as a corper, I went to NYSC camp without collecting a kobo from my parents. I know the situation of the country is hard but this is the time where you have to hustle. The first time I went to the cinema with a girl that brought her own ride, I was very happy. I paid for everything throughout the date and during subsequent dates, but she buys me stuff sometimes as well.

Why do you care what your people think about who you want to marry as long as you love the person. Tribe is at the bottom of my criteria for a wife and should be at the bottom of yours for a husband. You are the person that will marry him, not your parents. My colleague is a Yoruba guy married to an Igbo lady from Onitsha and after ten years of marriage, they call each other mine every time. It took me a year to realise that it wasn't her real name. The people who opposed the marriage initially are the ones that now come to ask them for money.

The way forward is to forgive yourself and ask God for forgiveness. You cannot tell anybody including the man you eventually want to marry that you ever had an abortion. You can claim you miscarried due to stress. This is an issue between you and your God.

Aww so sorry dear

tibaonnet:
I distance myself from the people who said you deserved better from the guy, I'll rather ay you deserve more for the below reasons.
1. It wasn't that you love this guy from the beginning, it was because you parents wanted you to marry based on tribal sentiments & you said you're literate. You fell for this & now that you're paying for it do they share in your pains?... Learn from that.
2. Say the truth & be set free. You didn't accept to marry this guy just because your parents want it that way but because you saw the guy as a well-to-do with. He has money & he can shoulders your responsibilities. It was because of the money & nothing more. You endured the way he maltreated e you, even sexually because you didn't want to lose him due to the "largasse" he showed on you & your family. Now you've learnt your lesson. -not all that glittered is gold.

You may drive off my points but you know right within you they were true. Pls dont tell us you were beclouded by the love you have for him but only for his money, you only like him for his money. I am not gonna crucify you for aborting the baby, it's your life.

You were born & brought up in yoruba land & when you're now matured they(your parents) considered you better than the yorubas & only good for the igbo like you. Who treated you like this now?

I pray our ladies would learn from this

u r so wrong but i wouldnt argue with u. it beats me when some people analyze ur life like they were there from d beginning. thanks all d same for ur views, i appreciate

JustHere2Observ:
So sorry you had to be a victim of a man full of insecurities. To be honest I will do just what you did, having a child that is a constant reminder of rejection and mistrust is not palatable. Work on yourself, find love where your heart seeks irrespective of tribe.

Now! I'll give u 10000000 likes!!..ur comment reflects mine.

obiak4:

What has illetracy got to do with two people who have decide to live for better for worse smh for you
Bae what happened to Redeployment can't u Relocate to lagos
Tell him to fast _ track process So that you can redeploy after the 3weeks orientation in camp back to lagos sikena

it has everything to do with it oh, they decided to live for better for worse buh that has got to be enjoyed, not endured.

i hav friends who didn't go to school, but when u spend time with them, its hard to tell cuz they re 'enlightened'. big difference. they are actually civilized n part of modernization.

u can't be talkin A n ur illiterate wife is talkin B. if the guy in question was actually enlightened n she z cool with it, its her life n her choice.. shikena

sirliu:
OP Your story is sad. Here are is my opinion.

Even without hindsight, I would not abort the baby. You are cutting your nose to spite your face. The baby didn't deserve to be punished for your sins. The year I graduated from secondary school, 2003, the best in JAMB that year was a guy whose mum didn't abort him. He went eventually went to an Ivy league school. I've forgotten his name, but google is your friend here. I remember his mom talking about it and how the guy is now a blessing to her.

I won't blame you for having sex, but you should not have had unprotected sex with the guy especially if you don't know his status. I don't care if he said another lady took away his virginity. I don't believe people who tell me they are virgins or on the pill. And you shouldn't believe a guy even if he says he has had a vasectomy.

I can never marry someone who isn't a degree holder. And I can never respect any lady that depends on me financially. What if I wasn't there, how would she live? Even as a corper, I went to NYSC camp without collecting a kobo from my parents. I know the situation of the country is hard but this is the time where you have to hustle. The first time I went to the cinema with a girl that brought her own ride, I was very happy. I paid for everything throughout the date and during subsequent dates, but she buys me stuff sometimes as well.

Why do you care what your people think about who you want to marry as long as you love the person. Tribe is at the bottom of my criteria for a wife and should be at the bottom of yours for a husband. You are the person that will marry him, not your parents. My colleague is a Yoruba guy married to an Igbo lady from Onitsha and after ten years of marriage, they call each other mine every time. It took me a year to realise that it wasn't her real name. The people who opposed the marriage initially are the ones that now come to ask them for money.

The way forward is to forgive yourself and ask God for forgiveness. You cannot tell anybody including the man you eventually want to marry that you ever had an abortion. You can claim you miscarried due to stress. This is an issue between you and your God.

i commot cap for u bros.. nice one. these r the kinda ppl i love to see talk.

Thank you very much.

Trudiee:


i commot cap for u bros.. nice one. these r the kinda ppl i love to see talk.

I guess u should really take time to consider whatever decisions you take in life. From your story of meeting him to the point of abortion, what I can pin point is that u are kind of an hasty decision maker without having a deep thought of the consequences. I respect your courage in not wanting to be a man's puppet all your life and walking out of the relationship, what I however do not like is the fact that u ended an innocent life( but who am I to judge your relationship between you and your creator. If you say u have asked for forgiveness, then you are fine). I wish you speedy recovery both psychologically and health wise. But please try to be very careful and thoughtful in making life changing decisions in the future . Cheers

faustinalove:


u r so wrong but i wouldnt argue with u. it beats me when some people analyze ur life like they were there from d beginning. thanks all d same for ur views, i appreciate

Now tell me where I am wrong? Own up and accept your mistakes. Let others learn from you.

Trudiee:


i commot cap for u bros.. nice one. these r the kinda ppl i love to see talk.

Why dont you delete other people's comments naa?

tibaonnet:

Now tell me where I am wrong? Own up and accept your mistakes. Let others learn from you.

would i have posted my story here if i hadnt learnt frm my mistakes? or u want me to accept what u personally feel u know my mistakes are? bro, pls u r beginning to sound like my ex..always trying to impose his own opinion on me. thanks

tibaonnet:

Now tell me where I am wrong? Own up and accept your mistakes. Let others learn from you.

would i have posted my story here if i hadnt accepted my mistakes? or u want me to accept what u personally feel u know my mistakes are when u know nothing abt the things u r insinuating? bro, pls u r beginning to sound like my ex..always trying to impose his own opinion on me. thanks

Wow! Wow!!
Op i feel your pains and understand all you just narrated but aborting that baby was a wrong move. Why?
You should have given birth to that baby, your now ex suffered from overbloated ego and considering the fact that he's uneducated added salt to the injury.

Anyway the damage has been done so there's no point trading blames. Just concentrate on being the best on whatever you decide to do after your nysc. Take a break on love now, just keep loving and never stop loving yourself. Don't ever allow gossip from people get to you because definitely your news will spread like wildfire that's for sure.

As for the man, he'll definitely realize his mistakes but as you have severed ties with him on no account should you think of mending fence with him. Am certain that he would try to stage a comback by using every means possible including his sister, your family but the final decision lies with you.
Cheers.. ..

Pls Faustina can you do this favour for me? Meet a priest to counsel you. It's very necessary dear. Pls....

ESFRANCIS01:
Pls Faustina can you do this favour for me? Meet a priest to counsel you. It's very necessary dear. Pls....

my dear, i met a priest here in abuja and all he could do was to take sides with my ex and blame me for getting pregnant begore church wedding. u know how d catholic church can protect its own(especially d rich ones). He found out my ex is d currrent youth president of his parish at lagos so he had to protect him.

faustinalove:


my dear, i met a priest here in abuja and all he could do was to take sides with my ex and blame me for getting pregnant begore church wedding. u know how d catholic church can protect its own(especially d rich ones). He found out my ex is d currrent youth president of his parish at lagos so he had to protect him.

Hmm.... Na wa oh. That's serious. Though I know the penance back then implies you meeting the Bishop for absolution since it's the year of Mercy some priests do that.
Don't worry everything is gonna be fine. God will see you through.

He gave you condoms to use in camp that night yet you had unprotected sex with him because he promised to take responsibility if you get pregnant. Ok oo lemme complete your story before further comments.well the only thing I blame you for is having unprotected sex and not taking any pills afterwards, am so sorry you found yourself in this situation but the truth you need to move on and get the abortion guilt off your mind, you made the right decision.

faustinalove:
part 2. they r in 4parts. pls girls, read. especially d igbo girls.

I thought he was joking but he kept on saying it but insisted that i want to go and when he noticed that i wouldnt change my mind, he stopped talking abt it. Nysc camp was to open on April 27th (batch A, stream 1), so he asked me to come to lagos so that i can buy d things i need and also so that i can go to abuja from lagos.
I went to lagos on the 24th and started buying my camp stuffs. The next day was 25th which was my birthday. In d evening of my bday, he bought things and celebrated my bday with his frnds and everyone in d house. That night, to my surprise, he brought out a beautiful ring and proposed to me. I was very happy and i accepted and we kept on celebrating into d night. When we went to bed that night, he said something shocking. He said he will like me to carry some condoms with me to camp 'in case' anything happens. He said he loves me but he doesnt want STDs! I was so angry i almost returned d engagement ring. I warned him never to say such words again to me and he apologized. He wanted sex that night but i told him that day was dangerous as i could get pregnant since that day was d begining of my 'fertile window'(day 11 after my last period). He assured me that he would take responsibility if pregnancy occurs and that i should trust him with all he has done to prove that he wants to marry me. I relaxed after hearing all that, i agreed and we made love and we slept. I travelled to abj the next day(26th).

Trudiee:

it has everything to do with it oh, they decided to live for better for worse buh that has got to be enjoyed, not endured.

i hav friends who didn't go to school, but when u spend time with them, its hard to tell cuz they re 'enlightened'. big difference. they are actually civilized n part of modernization.

u can't be talkin A n ur illiterate wife is talkin B. if the guy in question was actually enlightened n she z cool with it, its her life n her choice.. shikena

When your granpa married your granma did they attend oxford
Education here is overated sikena your profile picture thou Says it all idomine generation lol

faustinalove:


would i have posted my story here if i hadnt learnt frm my mistakes? or u want me to accept what u personally feel u know my mistakes are? bro, pls u r beginning to sound like my ex..always trying to impose his own opinion on me. thanks

Good, I love this your comment. Acknowledge you've made mistakes is the first step to repentance. May God forgive you of any wrong you've done. Dont let this weigh you down, you got to get up & try.
Pls what advice do you have for our young ladies out there?

[quote author=obiak4 post=47568190]
When your granpa married your granma did they attend oxford
Education here is overated sikena your profile picture thou Says it all idomine generation lol [/quote

lolzz u funny tho

tibaonnet:

Good, I love this your comment. Acknowledge you've made mistakes is the first step to repentance. May God forgive you of any wrong you've done. Dont let this weigh you down, you got to get up & try.
Pls what advice do you have for our young ladies out there?

thanks bro. i think any lady who read it from d begining to d end must have learnt one or more things. God bless u

obiak4:

When your granpa married your granma did they attend oxford
Education here is overated sikena your profile picture thou Says it all idomine generation lol

lolzz.. u funny tho

Trudiee:

lolzz.. u funny tho

No am not ooo how much for that idomine N egg watering throat

obiak4:

No am not ooo how much for that idomine N egg watering throat

lol, i didn't buy it. cooked it. but ure a long throat.. can only advice u not to eat ur phone