₦airaland Forum

Ifakiland:
been dating my gf now 3yrs+ but late last year we had a terrible fight, we almost broke up, we didn't talk for almost two weeks. during dat period, I got closer to a female friend, unknown to me dis my frnd fell in love with me, we kissed a few times. now my gf and I are back togeda, but ds female frnd is so in love, gives me gifts even my gf can't afford....then there's a 3rd gal who's kinda like an ex who's also on my throat dat she's been single for 3yrs now cos she can seem to fall in love with anoda guy cos her heart still with me. I love my gf to death....but dis two gals are so so difficult to let go. am going crazy....how do I handle dis??

Ifakiland:
been dating my gf now 3yrs+ but late last year we had a terrible fight, we almost broke up, we didn't talk for almost two weeks. during dat period, I got closer to a female friend, unknown to me dis my frnd fell in love with me, we kissed a few times. now my gf and I are back togeda, but ds female frnd is so in love, gives me gifts even my gf can't afford....then there's a 3rd gal who's kinda like an ex who's also on my throat dat she's been single for 3yrs now cos she can seem to fall in love with anoda guy cos her heart still with me. I love my gf to death....but dis two gals are so so difficult to let go. am going crazy....how do I handle dis??

Sexxkillz:
[color=#000030]Honestly answer: If the 3 ladies are drowning in a pool and you can only save one, which one of them will you save?

I believe you already know who you want.[/color]

foolinlove:
He doesn't deserve any of them though. They also deserve someone better than he is at the moment.

Sexxkillz:
[color=#000030]The 3 ladies aren't innocent either. They are also trying to take him for a fool. He's an option to each of them also. He should just choose one and forget about the rest.

If I was in his shoes, I'll choose the friend who became a gf. Returning to exes is worse than a civil war.[/color]

foolinlove:
How exactly did you determine those ladies are behaving badly?

We can only pass comment on the op's behaviour because he is the one posting and askimg for help.

Making conjecture about people he is provoding heresy about isnt helpful.

The only thing we can be sure of is that this guy is triple dating. Bad behaviour regardless of any other fact. He needs time to grow up.

Sexxkillz:
[color=#000030]He needs to grow up by choosing one lady out of the 3.

There are 2 ladies that left him, and came back to him. They caused this confusion. They left him, were treated badly outside, and then realized that he is the one for them. If those other guys didn't treat them badly, would they come back to him? No.

Is that good behavior?[/color]

foolinlove:
It's heresy though. He could say anything about them. We can't be sure of it.

Triple dating is the only thing we can be sure of, if we can be sure of anything.

It's wrong. End all of it. Take time to develop the maturity and control required to be with one person. Then start dating again with integrity.

If a man is so easily distracted his heart and mind are not in the right place.

Sexxkillz:
[color=#000030]If you refuse to believe what he said about the ladies, why do you choose to believe what he said about himself? Are you being selective in your judgment? If the first girl didn't leave, would there be a second? If th second didn't leave, would there be a 3rd?

The 2 exes caused this. The original definition of triple dating would have been him dating 3 girls without any cogent reason, but here, they broke up with him, got used, and are coming back to him.

What are they coming back for?[/color]

foolinlove:
I repeat:

Triple dating is the only thing we can be sure of, if we can be sure of anything.

If he is so easily distracted, then his heart and mind are not in the right place.

Sexxkillz:
[color=#000030]What distracted the first two?[/color]

foolinlove:
Irrelevant.

He can't use someone else's behaviour good or bad, to justify his own behaviour.

Don't triple date.

Sexxkillz:
[color=#000030]You simply cannot excuse or dismiss their behavior in this case. [/color]

foolinlove:
Nothing excuses bad behaviour.

He is asking what he should do.

My advice is to develop the maturity required to dedicate himself to a single relationship.

He has been distracted. Distraction is his choice. Not others. Those girls, good or bad, cannot control his behaviour.

He has choices. If he truly loves one of them, there would be no distraction and no questions to answer.

Sexxkillz:
[color=#000030]He has to choose one lady before he dedicates himself to one. If he truly loves them and they chose to be distracted by another guy and left him, how is that his fault? [/color]

foolinlove:
It's not his fault. But he chose to be distracted by them. If he wasn't distracted then there would be no question. End story.

Don't go around blaming other people for your own poor behaviour. Two wrongs don't make a right.

Sexxkillz:
[color=#000030]Good you acknowledged that the ladies played a part in this situation.
All he needs to do now is totally EX the 2 ladies that made themselves exes in his life. He was very _stupid for allowing them back into his life and allowing them distract him from the true love of his life.[/color]

foolinlove:
Yep. He was immature and selfish to allow them back. It shows a lot for how he thinks of the one he loves... considering he gets gifts from one.

He should take time out to develop the maturity to be with one person alone.

If he truly loves a woman, he will have the strength and conviction not to get distracted in the first place.

Ifakiland:
yea if u say am immature ure probably rite...but d case at hand is me being in love with one gal (my 3yrs+ gf) and 2 oda gals "madly" in love with me (of wish I just like dem)...how do I tell off d oda two gals without hurting deir feelings or dey going "gangster on me. gals av been known to be really violent lately.

foolinlove:
You don't tell them off. You say you're with someone, you don't love them and you don't want them.

If you're going to triple date out of fear of violence then you're going to end up with countless girlfriends.

If they threaten violence tell them one day they'll meet a man they don't need to threaten in order to be in a relationship.

If thet persist BLOCK THEM.

It's pretty simple stuff. Go with the one you love. Ignore all others.

Sack up. God is protecting you. You also have the law on your side. Do the right thing for crying out loud.

foolinlove:
Yep. He was immature and selfish to allow them back. It shows a lot for how he thinks of the one he loves... considering he gets gifts from one.

He should take time out to develop the maturity to be with one person alone.

If he truly loves a woman, he will have the strength and conviction not to get distracted in the first place.

Sexxkillz:
[color=#000030]You're right.

The strength and conviction and maturity his 2 exes woefully failed to have when they left him at first. Makes one wonder what they want this time by returning to him since they didn't have the strength and conviction to prove their love by not being distracted to leave him in the first place.[/color]