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Re: Married To An Atheist by oodua1stson: 12:14pm On Aug 02, 2016
plaetton:
Madam, this is exactly the problems we athiest have with religion.You have a loving husband whom you have loved and admired all this while and who has also loved you uncoditionally despite your religiousity.Now you are just beginning to feel uncomfortable about his athiesm. Why? Because of what others (religious folks ) are insinuating? Why is so hard to tolerate people who do not share your religious beliefs? Would you have prefered to be married to the so-called born again religous pretenders who outwardly profess regiousity but whose hearts are dark pits, than to a non-petensious reality-oriented man whose heart and mind is transparent to you at all times?

Have you reckoned that the problem might be with you and the increase in your religious zeal? Are you surprised that your pastor does not like him? How do u expect a pastor to like someone whom he cannot manipulate and sap? You are exhibiting the typical symptoms. Soon they will start seeing visions and prophesies about how your husband is evil and is going to do this or that to you and your children.
There is nothing in this world that divides people more than religion. Religion can destory your home if you allow it to do so.Your home should be your church. The love of your husband and children should be your sanctuary.
I guarantee that You cannot find in a church, what you cannot find in your home-namely love,sincerity,respect and peace.

I am an athiest who is married to a born again wife. I made my position know from the start and we have lived happily. I go to church with her from time to time. But I have grown waery of the "name it and claim it" theology of the pentecostal preachers,so I do not go anymore. I put my foot down on no night vigils, retreats,house fellowships, and midweek service. Otherwise, I try not to interfere. I find that is her church members who always want to make our religious difference an issue. I always put them in their right place.
As for my children, I have already succeeded in planting seeds of doubts in thier young minds, which for me ,is sufficient enough to help them develope the healthy skeptism necessary to intelligently discern life and reality, hopefully, from both a philosophycal and scientific perspectives rather than from religious perspective.

I do not see any problems in you family except the one that your religious peers are pressuring you to create.
Take note that the increase in your religious zeal is and will be directly proportional to the level of tension,resentment and ultimately, distrust in your household. I hope you make wise decisions.
you're my hero.

I'm also married to a woman who loves religion and I have no problem with her beliefs. She sometimes gives me grief about my non belief but we are mostly good.

I told her I won't force my beliefs on our kids but I'll tell then the lies in the Bible then I'll leave then to decide.

3 Likes

Re: Married To An Atheist by preciousMI1(f): 12:14pm On Aug 02, 2016
harakiri:
@Yolandy



Okay. . .




Is there a problem with that? You make it sound like he's become gay overnight. Are Theists (religious folks like yourself) not outspoken about their belief in religion? Why can't he be outspoken about his disbelief in religion? Hmmm?



All you've said so far points to the fact that you have a husband most women out there would kill for. Tell me. . .which do you prefer? A man who goes to church almost every day of the week, prays fervently morning and night and yet, he still cheats on you OR a man who is very open with you, does his duties as a man and has proved beyond every reasonable doubt that he loves you and the kids and is here for keeps? I still don't get it. How does being religious transform into being a "good person"? Everything you've said about your husband defines him as a good person but it seems you're looking for something to complain about (like all women do) and now, it's his disbelief in religion. Can you honestly look inward and tell yourself that your husband isn't a much better and morally upright man than all those hypocrites in your church who will carry 20kg bibles,sing aloud to the lawd,pay all the offerings and tithes,speak in tongues and after closing hour, they will head off to the hotel where their mistresses are lodged?



I don't mean to blow the trumpet but i am yet to see ONE atheist whose IQ isn't above average. Most (if not all) Atheists are intelligent folks. A lot of us (especially those of us born into deeply religious backgrounds) dumped religion after a lot of brain storming,background research,inconsistencies in biblical tales and the total irreconcilable patterns of religion (Christianity in this case) of this age with what's depicted in the bible. There are others however who were born into non-religious households (e.g Europeans) and therefore the concept of any religion would be completely absurd to them (it's like telling them the tooth fairy exists! ! !).



I can understand how you feel about the situation. There are also times when i lose it and go ballistic like your husband is doing right now ESPECIALLY when i'm constantly hen pecked by religious folks who don't even know their bibles half as i do. It's irritating. Imagine how irritated you would be if a Buddhist/Taoist was desperately trying to convert you to their religion (annoying right?). Now imagine how A NON-RELIGIOUS PERSON who doesn't give a damn about any supernatural beliefs would feel! ! ! Put yourself in his shoes for 5mins.




There's a saying :

HUMAN BEINGS FEAR WHAT THEY DO NOT UNDERSTAND AND HATE WHAT THEY CANNOT CONQUER! They dislike him because. . .? What? He refuses to be a gullible religious vegetable? What? Now they say he's in a cult (Wow! And i thought i was the only one who has been unfortunate enough to have Nigerian-home-video-religious-zombies peddle false rumors to taint my image). Your pastor and friends don't like him? So what? Must he buckle under all because YOU WANT him to please you,your friends and Oga Pastor? A lot of the people whose opinion you consider so highly don't even have half the happiness you have in your marriage. Some of the women gossiping to you probably have other rivals "outside" who their husbands have impregnated. Dey there dey listen to outside ppl you hia? Your eyes go soon clear.



YES! They are all stories and your husband doesn't want his children growing up believing lies and made up nomadic goat herder stories from the medieval age.



You "CONFRONTED" him? Don't the kids belong to him as well? Oh. . .So you are the lord of the house abi? Is that what the bible stipulates?



So telling them the truth is now tantamount to poisoning. Wonderful! The bible says the world is flat and four cornered. With all the education you've recieved, can you honestly say this is true? The bible says a virgin can get pregnant without having $ex? If you hear such a story today, would you believe it? The bible says a man can live in the belly of a fish/whale for 3 days without air,food or water. . .and you believe that right? The bible says 5,000 people can be fed with only 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish and you believe it (something me and my younger brother can consume). The bible says a man parted the red sea with his bare hands and you believe. The bible says a man dead for 3 days (with his intestines removed according to the custom) can be resurrected and you believe all that. The bible says donkeys can talk (remember the story of Balaam?). The bible says does "shall not kill" and yet in that same bible, the biblical god ordered "his people" to attack/invade foriegn lands,kill,burn and plunder the cities to the ground. In today's day and age, these are crimes tantamount to assault,murder,genocide,rape,battert,arson and armed robbery. It's all there in the bible but you people pretend not to see it. You believe all these stories because you were taught to believe them from childhood. You believe all these stories because the white man brought the bible and anything from "obodo-oyibo" is genuine. Funny thing is, these same white folks don't even take Christianity as serious as we do. Nigeria is officially the most religious country in the world and yet so much wickedness and strife pervades the land. What does that tell you? Hmmm?

The bible says Jesus came,died and all things are passed away. If that's the case, why do the so called "Men of fraud Gawd" revert to Malachi 3:10 when coaxing the congregation to give more tithes and offerings? Why do they select the juicy/profitable parts of the bible and leave the "nasty" parts e.g the eye for an eye laws? Hmmm? Tongue tied?

From the book of Matthew to Revelation, can you quote ONE single passage where Jesus asked for tithes or offerings after preaching to the congregation? Hmmm? A lot of "Pastors" tell lies about Jesus and his disciples/apostles being rich men. Is that so? Jesus is depicted as wandering on foot throughtout samaria,nazareth,bethlehem and Jerusalem and he was constantly on the run from his enemies (the pharisees). Does this depict the life of a rich man? Hmmm? Paul and Silas were so dead broke that they couldn't afford to give alms to the begging cripple. What does that tell you? Hmmm? Can you compare this with the flamboyant lifestyles of the so called "men of god" you see around you? It's a no-brainer Oyedepo can afford FOUR private jets.

I can go on and on. . .but you get the picture. Remain religious if you want to but if you think you can impose your delusions on your husband, then you are asking for problems. It's like asking him to believe Santa Claus is real all because Christmas is real.

Use your head woman and quit look for problems that don't exist (unless you are ready to break your home).

End of!


oga abeg lecture me abouth atheism and your belief about after life but don't link me to read any link biko....
Re: Married To An Atheist by Mairuwa: 12:15pm On Aug 02, 2016
Please Watch the Movie War Room directed by Alex Kendrick. Then do what you need to do which is PRAY, PRAY, PRAY.
Re: Married To An Atheist by BIDOO(m): 12:17pm On Aug 02, 2016
yolandy:
I have been around here for a while. I just created this new id to relate my problems here.

My husband of over 6 years has now become an outspoken atheist. He has been one all along but he has been keeping it on the low. He opened up to me and told me 3 years after we got married. I was shocked but there was nothing I could do. He wasn't really a religious person before we got married and I wasn't as well(I was much more religious than him even at that time). I began to take my religion very seriously after we got married. Now I have an amazing relatioship with God. I take it very seriously, and I put God first in my life. My husband does not. He doesn't rub his atheism on my face, we don't talk about religion, even when we do, it is always me that brings it up but, he sometimes listens and sometimes dismiss what I am saying with a wave of hand or with a laugh. He is a very good man and an excellent husband, he takes very good care of me and my 2 kids, he loves us to death, and does his duty as a father and a husband excellently. I can't wish for a better man.

He is not the type to engage in and argument over religion because he is very smart and always wins. I have seen 3 people engage him and they ended up losing the argument to him. He is widely read and cleaver so I can't even go into an argument with him. His mind is already made up. The problem I have right now is that he is becoming outspoken about his unbelief, back in the days he just keeps it to himself, these days I see him openly mocking and deriding pastors, believers, and anything that has to do with religion and I am not comfortable with that. Last week his elder brother had a heart attack(we live in the same estate), while his brother's wife and family were praying for him, my husband who is a doctor came and told them to shut up and allow him do what he can, he said instead of wasting their time praying to an imaginary God they should go and get the car ready to take him to the hospital because taking him to the hospital is what will save his life not some empty prayers to an imaginary God. Every body was shocked. His actions like these get me very worried. He is now very open about his unbelief and uses it to mock people that come to talk to him about God or religion. Most people I know now dislike him greatly for his unbelief. Rumors are circulating that he is in a secret cult. My pastor and friends in church don't like him. His family dislike him as well but they can't confront him. People now see me as "the wife of that devil" and I am not comfortable with it at all.

Some days ago I over heard him suggesting to my 6 years old son that the stories in the Bible are mere stories. It started when my son asked him why he doesn't pray together with us. I confronted him and he said he just wanted the boy to know how he feels about the Bible. He then said he will wait for our kids to grow up some more before letting them know his position. But I fear with his present outspoken attitude, he will try to poison their young minds and tell them that all the stories inside the Bible are all lies the way he tells any body that comes his way to either preach to him or engage him in any discussion about religion. We aren't having any problems now but I fear that his increasing outspokenness about his atheism will bring problems in our marriage sooner or later. I just hope he will keep quite and keep everything to himself they way he used to before but he won't. I have talked to him but he won't listen. He doesn't go about telling people that they should become atheist like him, but the way he goes about mocking religion and believers when ever the topic comes up is driving me mad. I really fear for our kids. What if something happens to me? I know my kids will become atheist like him, because he will poison their minds. What do I do now? I am really confused. I need advice from matured minds here. Please this should not be taken to the front page. I just want to read the contributions of the matured minds in here. Thank you





dear sister, unless you subdue your duty to that of your husband is when he will have a greater chance of poison their mind, hell no, you spend much time with ur kids than he did, then how on earth will he poison ur kids with baseless point without you make it less effect in their life by feeding them with the word of God on daily basis.



concerning ur husband own also, why can't you go and settle the affair with God on ur kneel, just pray to God to meet him himself in his power. shalom
Re: Married To An Atheist by kunlemessi: 12:18pm On Aug 02, 2016
Just as you stated, being an unbeliever has not made your husband a bad husband or father. He's still a morally upright man and lover. You on the other hand are a loyal wife and mother as well and all you want is a better life and afterlife for yourself, your husband and your kids.

You and your husband are wonderful people pursuing the best for yourselves and your kids based on your belief/unbelief. I think I believe if your husband should have a convincing encounter that proves that God is real, he would become a believer. It's very logical to unbelieve many of the stories in the Bible, the lives most believers live also is substantial to make someone with a shaky belief become an atheist.

I agree that God wants us to believe in him through faith but then facts/evidences such as miracles which JESUS performed in the Bible made a lot of people believe him. Without these necessary signs that prove beyond reasonable doubts that God exists, I'm afraid your husband will always be an atheist.

PS: Your telling him you prayed to God for financial breakthrough and God answered your prayers (or any similar 'testimony') is definitely not the type of miracles that will convince your intelligent husband

Your home won't be destroyed I pray. Peace.
Re: Married To An Atheist by redsceptic: 12:18pm On Aug 02, 2016
I had to come out from the shadows to make a contribution here!

I never knew there were so many intelligent and enlightened people on this forum who could make a contribution to any post not involving the consumption of reptiles or the bare breasts of a local celebrity!!

The man in question is an original thinker and originality is frowned upon in Nigeria and Africa. I was born a catholic but presently don hold a view one way or the other. God may or may not exist (although I think 'he' does) but even if he is a being, we are certainly not capable of understanding him and he is not to be interpreted in the rituals of man.

Many people have raised points which I find interesting and very educative I suggest you go through the posts and read them
How many times did Jesus ask for tithes in the bible? LOL and how do you justify one idiot owning FOUR!!! private jets??.

I never really thought people paid up their incomes to their pastors until I saw a lady at the bank give up 10% of her income at the cashiers table. I was shocked! Why not give the money to a relative in need? to an orphan? to a sick person in hospital? These are more christian applications of wealth.

The bible frowns on adultery and divorce but today in Nigeria the pastors of some of the largest congregations are are divorcees and philanders. Yet their zombie followers brush the evidence aside and prefer to bury their noses in the sand.

One bearded conman was responsible for the death of scores of worshipers when his poorly built hotel collapsed and he attempted to cover up the incident. Yet people refused to see this as a sign from God. If God were truly in that church would he allow such a calamity befall them?


[q]Last week his elder brother had a heart attack(we live in the same estate), while his brother's wife and family were praying for him, my husband who is a doctor came and told them to shut up and allow him do what he can, he said instead of wasting their time praying to an imaginary God they should go and get the car ready to take him to the hospital because taking him to the hospital is what will save his life not some empty prayers to an imaginary God[/q]

I am a doctor and much as I hate to say this, many Nigerians are stupid. A man had a heart attack and people were praying?? They were ensuring that the man would die.
In medicine we say 'time is muscle'. Every second that lapses without intervention leads to an increased risk of irreversible damage. In fact, in western nations the time to intervention is measured, and any practitioner who does not fall within the window risks litigation. If we spent as much time studying as we do praying the nation would be a better place.

Madam respect your husbands beliefs and he will respect you.

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Re: Married To An Atheist by Icecomrade: 12:20pm On Aug 02, 2016
plaetton:
Madam, this is exactly the problems we athiest have with religion.You have a loving husband whom you have loved and admired all this while and who has also loved you uncoditionally despite your religiousity.Now you are just beginning to feel uncomfortable about his athiesm. Why? Because of what others (religious folks ) are insinuating? Why is so hard to tolerate people who do not share your religious beliefs? Would you have prefered to be married to the so-called born again religous pretenders who outwardly profess regiousity but whose hearts are dark pits, than to a non-petensious reality-oriented man whose heart and mind is transparent to you at all times?

Have you reckoned that the problem might be with you and the increase in your religious zeal? Are you surprised that your pastor does not like him? How do u expect a pastor to like someone whom he cannot manipulate and sap? You are exhibiting the typical symptoms. Soon they will start seeing visions and prophesies about how your husband is evil and is going to do this or that to you and your children.
There is nothing in this world that divides people more than religion. Religion can destory your home if you allow it to do so.Your home should be your church. The love of your husband and children should be your sanctuary.
I guarantee that You cannot find in a church, what you cannot find in your home-namely love,sincerity,respect and peace.

I am an athiest who is married to a born again wife. I made my position know from the start and we have lived happily. I go to church with her from time to time. But I have grown waery of the "name it and claim it" theology of the pentecostal preachers,so I do not go anymore. I put my foot down on no night vigils, retreats,house fellowships, and midweek service. Otherwise, I try not to interfere. I find that is her church members who always want to make our religious difference an issue. I always put them in their right place.
As for my children, I have already succeeded in planting seeds of doubts in thier young minds, which for me ,is sufficient enough to help them develope the healthy skeptism necessary to intelligently discern life and reality, hopefully, from both a philosophycal and scientific perspectives rather than from religious perspective.

I do not see any problems in you family except the one that your religious peers are pressuring you to create.
Take note that the increase in your religious zeal is and will be directly proportional to the level of tension,resentment and ultimately, distrust in your household. I hope you make wise decisions.

You were too hasty to make claim of atheism that you didn't see that part where she started that she never had a problem with her husbands believe not until he started rubbing it off her.

The influence it's having on her kids.

Religious tolerance which you advocate does not include taunting others sharing their believe as seen in the case where they were praying for a sick person.

We all have what we believe in. We must respect each other and keep the boundaries.

Am happy you ve sown seed of doubt in the mind of your kids. It's not my business, but since you made it part of this discussion, I wont hesitate to to say you may have done that too early.

Religion whether true or not helps to checkmate a lot of excesses.

Self conscience is most times not enough

1 Like

Re: Married To An Atheist by gabicon: 12:22pm On Aug 02, 2016
yolandy:
I have been around here for a while. I just created this new id to relate my problems here.

My husband of over 6 years has now become an outspoken atheist. He has been one all along but he has been keeping it on the low. He opened up to me and told me 3 years after we got married. I was shocked but there was nothing I could do. He wasn't really a religious person before we got married and I wasn't as well(I was much more religious than him even at that time). I began to take my religion very seriously after we got married. Now I have an amazing relatioship with God. I take it very seriously, and I put God first in my life. My husband does not. He doesn't rub his atheism on my face, we don't talk about religion, even when we do, it is always me that brings it up but, he sometimes listens and sometimes dismiss what I am saying with a wave of hand or with a laugh. He is a very good man and an excellent husband, he takes very good care of me and my 2 kids, he loves us to death, and does his duty as a father and a husband excellently. I can't wish for a better man.

He is not the type to engage in and argument over religion because he is very smart and always wins. I have seen 3 people engage him and they ended up losing the argument to him. He is widely read and cleaver so I can't even go into an argument with him. His mind is already made up. The problem I have right now is that he is becoming outspoken about his unbelief, back in the days he just keeps it to himself, these days I see him openly mocking and deriding pastors, believers, and anything that has to do with religion and I am not comfortable with that. Last week his elder brother had a heart attack(we live in the same estate), while his brother's wife and family were praying for him, my husband who is a doctor came and told them to shut up and allow him do what he can, he said instead of wasting their time praying to an imaginary God they should go and get the car ready to take him to the hospital because taking him to the hospital is what will save his life not some empty prayers to an imaginary God. Every body was shocked. His actions like these get me very worried. He is now very open about his unbelief and uses it to mock people that come to talk to him about God or religion. Most people I know now dislike him greatly for his unbelief. Rumors are circulating that he is in a secret cult. My pastor and friends in church don't like him. His family dislike him as well but they can't confront him. People now see me as "the wife of that devil" and I am not comfortable with it at all.

Some days ago I over heard him suggesting to my 6 years old son that the stories in the Bible are mere stories. It started when my son asked him why he doesn't pray together with us. I confronted him and he said he just wanted the boy to know how he feels about the Bible. He then said he will wait for our kids to grow up some more before letting them know his position. But I fear with his present outspoken attitude, he will try to poison their young minds and tell them that all the stories inside the Bible are all lies the way he tells any body that comes his way to either preach to him or engage him in any discussion about religion. We aren't having any problems now but I fear that his increasing outspokenness about his atheism will bring problems in our marriage sooner or later. I just hope he will keep quite and keep everything to himself they way he used to before but he won't. I have talked to him but he won't listen. He doesn't go about telling people that they should become atheist like him, but the way he goes about mocking religion and believers when ever the topic comes up is driving me mad. I really fear for our kids. What if something happens to me? I know my kids will become atheist like him, because he will poison their minds. What do I do now? I am really confused. I need advice from matured minds here. Please this should not be taken to the front page. I just want to read the contributions of the matured minds in here. Thank you






When we as Christians start disliking unbelievers simply because they don't agree with us then we have ultimately lost them already, it is sad that even pastors are disliking people too, but let's not forget that Jesus never disliked the Pharisees thought he told them the truth. I believe that if we Christians surround atheist with love and prayers instead of hate and arguments we will win them over cos we can't win who we don't like.

My advice to you madam is to surround your husband with love and prayers, pray the Ephesians 1 and 3 prayers of Paul for him every day that God give him the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him that the eyes of his understanding will be enlightened etc. Love and respect him because you can't win over someone you despise this is what I feel Jesus will do. Pray for your children also.
Re: Married To An Atheist by Mikollon1(m): 12:23pm On Aug 02, 2016
yolandy:


Some days ago I over heard him suggesting to my 6 years old son that the stories in the Bible are mere stories. It started when my son asked him why he doesn't pray together with us. I confronted him and he said he just wanted the boy to know how he feels about the Bible. He then said he will wait for our kids to grow up some more before letting them know his position. But I fear with his present outspoken attitude, he will try to poison their young minds and tell them that all the stories inside the Bible are all lies the way he tells any body that comes his way to either preach to him or engage him in any discussion about religion. We aren't having any problems now but I fear that his increasing outspokenness about his atheism will bring problems in our marriage sooner or later. I just hope he will keep quite and keep everything to himself they way he used to before but he won't. I have talked to him but he won't listen. He doesn't go about telling people that they should become atheist like him, but the way he goes about mocking religion and believers when ever the topic comes up is driving me mad. I really fear for our kids. What if something happens to me? I know my kids will become atheist like him, because he will poison their minds. What do I do now? I am really confused.






Do you not think you are poisoning your kids minds by lying to them that Jesus is real? If you are discerning, you'll know that the bible is for mind control. There's a supreme being but there's no heaven, hell or a second coming.

3 Likes

Re: Married To An Atheist by uzolexis(f): 12:26pm On Aug 02, 2016
lurkee:
davidylan & harakiri you guys are no longer contributing constructively to this thread. Carry your sphere vs circle vs corners vs ends lessons elsewhere.

For the OP, I am currently dating an Agnostic man and he is the most tolerant and loving man I have ever come across and this is coming from the daughter of a pastor. I have chosen to believe in the bible and like most Christians I have picked the rules to follow that would lead me to live right. I am in no position to judge my boyfriend and you should not judge your husband too.

You know deep in your heart that he is a good man and when it is you both at home you are OK with him exactly how he is and the problem is with others. You don't have anything to be ashamed of. Most religious people are hypocrites so it is only the heart that matters.

I am also currently dating an atheist and must,he us the most amazing guy I have ever met and this is the best relationship I have been in. We are planning to get married but sometimes I worry about our kids and all. I am not the judgemental, firing spitting type Christian and we both respect each other's belief but what of when we have little ones

1 Like

Re: Married To An Atheist by saintdennis(m): 12:38pm On Aug 02, 2016
Mairuwa:
Please Watch the Movie War Room directed by Alex Kendrick. Then do what you need to do which is PRAY, PRAY, PRAY.

Lmao... they talking religion (real life) you talking religion(movie life)? A film that WASNT EVEN BASED ON A TRUE STORY.

Religion sha... really addictive

3 Likes

Re: Married To An Atheist by uzolexis(f): 12:39pm On Aug 02, 2016
mutter:
Dear Poster God has touched your husband long ago!
Who is God? God = Love, God = Light, God = truth.
A man who who believes in Love and truth, who is good and upright also believes in God.
That man believes in God more than someone who believes in God but follows the part of darkness and doom.God knows every one of us and will judge us accordingly.
Not by shouting Lord, Lord but by doing the will of the father.
I am a strong catholic and my husband is moslem. It hurts me going to church without him and my kids but this is a pain I bear silently. It is my cross. Occasionally, like christmas, they go with me.
I have learnt so much about Islam and for me it is a very noble religion because I see how my husband practices his faith. He never misses his prayers or fasting and he is like a saint compared to me.
We respect each others religion. Yet there are some things I find hard to accept in Islam and some things I find hard to accept in the catholic church.
Yet we believe because we have faith- This may be wise or stupid. No one has gone there and come back.

When someone has a heart attack, the right thing is to offer first aid and seek help. God is not going to come down just like that, he needs a point of contact. So while prayer is important you lot failed to do the right thing and that must have pissed him off because as doctor he knew too well that a life was in acute danger.

You need to put an immediate stop to interference in your marriage. Jealous outsiders who are looking for a loop hole to penetrate and you are giving it to them. Just wait till you have to attend the church as a divorcee or separated woman then you will see how much they care for you.
No christian has a right to interfere in another persons marriage.
My husband is a no go topic for outsiders. When I wanted to get married in the church our Nigerian priest wanted to talk to my husband about the kids and converting . I went home and wrote him an email that I have changed my mind and would be looking for another priest. I did not want my husband in any way affected negatively. The priest that did the marriage was very considerate. No communion so my husband wouldn`t be left out. He even spoke about God and Allah. My husband felt very good about the marriage, he felt it had been blessed because we respected his own religion.
Again i repeat.- YOUR HUSBAND is a NO GO TOPIC!. As soon as you make that clear, people will abide by it.

As for talking about you- People will always find something to say about you. That shows you are important wink

As for your children not growing up as christians because of their dad - well if the kids see that religion is bringing problems into the family then they might associate religion with something negative.

Besides your husband is not preventing you from raising them as christians, why do you want to prevent him from sharing his own views.

My last advice is that you pray-
Thank God for giving you such a good man.
Pray God to give you the wisdom and Love to stand by your husband against the enemy.
-Remember when the time of harvest comes. God will gather his own ,and it is not those who cry Lord, Lord but those who do his will.




Wow!!! I have learnt a lot from this your post. I'm Catholic and my fiancee is atheist and I'm a bit worried cos I heard that he must do baptism, 1st holy Communion and all of that before we can get married in the Catholic Church. So it's actually possible not to do this and still get wedded in the church Pls enlighten me.
Re: Married To An Atheist by iliyande(m): 12:40pm On Aug 02, 2016
PencilBox:




wow! you know a lot of awesome rubbish about religion..

just because your "then pastor" wasn't a competent and truth "pastor" ...of who you expected to be and live like "Jesus", disappointed you, doesn't mean you're ryt.. trace your root sir..


you think by going on so many research you have the perfect knowledge of knowing that the bible stories are false?

gimme the veracity of your claim and I'll show you the truism in mine as well ..


you are quite intelligent ..no doubt...

and what you said about the IQ of atheist is evident.
but then again...you all have worldly wisdom..


now upon all your research and " acquired" knowledge, ever wondered why mans knowledge isn't capable enof to create a living thing? or a living soul?

think about it ....

all we have made so far are inanimate..
prove me wrong.

atheist has never won any argument with genuine and straight forward religious men..(Christians in particular) ...the wise men just kept quiet and wonder the level of their foolishness...hence making them think they are wise and have won..

think about it bro...there are some things you can give a concrete fact about how when where what which, they occur or appear..

I know also...not all the stories in the bible that we can also, in this present time, tell the truism of...

that's why we follow it with FAITh...the basics of Christianity... and hence appear foolish to the world..

BUT ONE DAY, OUR BLESSED HOPE SHALL APPEAR.....and I pray we all make it.


I am glad I found a friend like you here sir grin
Re: Married To An Atheist by einsteino(m): 12:41pm On Aug 02, 2016
Same boat i am in. Only opposite sides. I believe in God but am very very rational minded. I dont agree with the name it and claim it philosophy. I dont see any sense in the sow a seed mentality, inshort I have my reservations on the modern day church as a whole and dread fanaticism. I am openly critical of it, though still maintain that i am not an atheist. However having a lover who is alot more religious may pose a problem in the future.

I think it is only logical that regardless of how much she may love me, she would definitely key in to the "i need to save him or convince him to be born again" anthem and that definitely would birth fracture lines because i am convinced with my religious stand and dont see any sense changing.

Relationships neednt suffer due to such disparity in views but it is often the case.

1 Like

Re: Married To An Atheist by Nobody: 12:45pm On Aug 02, 2016
prinsam30:
well its does not matter but it matter when it has not be mattered. But let it be matterred i urged




lobatan
Lmao grin

1 Like

Re: Married To An Atheist by Anayordike(m): 12:46pm On Aug 02, 2016
plaetton:
Madam, this is exactly the problems we athiest have with religion.You have a loving husband whom you have loved and admired all this while and who has also loved you uncoditionally despite your religiousity.Now you are just beginning to feel uncomfortable about his athiesm. Why? Because of what others (religious folks ) are insinuating? Why is so hard to tolerate people who do not share your religious beliefs? Would you have prefered to be married to the so-called born again religous pretenders who outwardly profess regiousity but whose hearts are dark pits, than to a non-petensious reality-oriented man whose heart and mind is transparent to you at all times?

Have you reckoned that the problem might be with you and the increase in your religious zeal? Are you surprised that your pastor does not like him? How do u expect a pastor to like someone whom he cannot manipulate and sap? You are exhibiting the typical symptoms. Soon they will start seeing visions and prophesies about how your husband is evil and is going to do this or that to you and your children.
There is nothing in this world that divides people more than religion. Religion can destory your home if you allow it to do so.Your home should be your church. The love of your husband and children should be your sanctuary.
I guarantee that You cannot find in a church, what you cannot find in your home-namely love,sincerity,respect and peace.

I am an athiest who is married to a born again wife. I made my position know from the start and we have lived happily. I go to church with her from time to time. But I have grown waery of the "name it and claim it" theology of the pentecostal preachers,so I do not go anymore. I put my foot down on no night vigils, retreats,house fellowships, and midweek service. Otherwise, I try not to interfere. I find that is her church members who always want to make our religious difference an issue. I always put them in their right place.
As for my children, I have already succeeded in planting seeds of doubts in thier young minds, which for me ,is sufficient enough to help them develope the healthy skeptism necessary to intelligently discern life and reality, hopefully, from both a philosophycal and scientific perspectives rather than from religious perspective.

I do not see any problems in you family except the one that your religious peers are pressuring you to create.
Take note that the increase in your religious zeal is and will be directly proportional to the level of tension,resentment and ultimately, distrust in your household. I hope you make wise decisions.

Honestly speaking you are not an atheist. You simply hate the manner in which some religious charlatans project religious beliefs and what have you. Even most people who claimed to be atheists are not what they claimed to be. What most of the self acclaimed atheist have is religious phobia and resentment. And most cases their grudges against religion derives from pride. Most of the atheists are full of themselves and feeling that they are too educated, civilized, wide travelled etc. No wise person will ever denial the existence of God the creator who created him and all the things in the universe. "The fool hath said in his heart, there is no God" (Psalm 14:1)
@the Poster, you may take part of the advise from him. But most importantly you have nothing to worry if you know the God you are serving. Pray for him always. Never hate him. The destinies of you kids are not in the hands of your hubby. The heart of a king is God's hand and he turns it whithersoever He wills. Relax soon you will hear him calling out to God for mercy.
Re: Married To An Atheist by Mekanus(m): 12:46pm On Aug 02, 2016
I f^cking love atheism. We f^cking love atheism. Op my message to your excellent husband, tell him he should keep being awesome.

4 Likes

Re: Married To An Atheist by plaetton: 12:50pm On Aug 02, 2016
Icecomrade:




Religion whether true or not helps to checkmate a lot of excesses.

Self conscience is most times not enough
Bullshyte.

Religion is the primary causes of many developmental problems.

Is Nigeria not a good enough example?
In this day and age, it is the equivalent of child abuse to infuse mentally debilitating stone age poisons into the minds of our children.
Why do you think advanced countries my make it point not to include religious bullshytes into their educational curriculum?

When will we in Africa learn and catch up with the rest of the civilised world? undecided

And , if religion is grounded on truth and reality, then what would be the harm in planting seeds of healthy skepticism in the minds of growing children?

2 Likes

Re: Married To An Atheist by 9jatatafo(m): 12:50pm On Aug 02, 2016
Fall on your kneels and make your petition known to God
Re: Married To An Atheist by plaetton: 12:58pm On Aug 02, 2016
Anayordike:


Honestly speaking you are not an atheist. You simply hate the manner in which some religious charlatans project religious beliefs and what have you. Even most people who claimed to be atheists are not what they claimed to be. What most of the self acclaimed atheist have is religious phobia and resentment. And most cases their grudges against religion derives from pride. Most of the atheists are full of themselves and feeling that they are too educated, civilized, wide travelled etc. No wise person will ever denial the existence of God the creator who created him and all the things in the universe. "The fool hath said in his heart, there is no God" (Psalm 14:1) .

Lol.

You seem to display the classic symptoms of atheist-phobia.

1 Like

Re: Married To An Atheist by joywendy(f): 12:58pm On Aug 02, 2016
Na wa ooo.....Nairaland, thread of over four years on front page?!
Re: Married To An Atheist by goodguygonebad: 1:00pm On Aug 02, 2016
OP, I hope you read this.

This is coming from a Nigerian student studying Physics in Germany. One thing stands out in your piece, you said he's well read and I guess it's just not about his medical profession. I hazard a guess that he reads a lot about Atheism and the arguments pitched against the existence of a Supreme being. Based on this premise, I will give you a simple advise.

While you are praying for him, attempt to engage him also in scholarly discussions about the existence of God. As much as the Holy Spirit is the one who does the conviction, there have been people who were brought to God based on accurate logical scholarly discussions (they were at least opened up to the possibility by discussion). I will immediately recommend this book to you "On Guard" by William Lane Craig. I have undergone a study about the book in my years here of study and I can assure you that if you can locate and read this book, you will be able to engage your hubby in a way he's definitely open to at the moment - Academic discussion.

If you can't get the book, you can visit his website http://www.reasonablefaith.org/. There you can get different materials, discussion and debates William has had with world renowned scholars coming from differing scientific fields. And the good thing is, he always Wins. The website also has resources for kids. http://www.reasonablefaith.org/apologetics-resources-for-your-children. You can ensure your kids have a look at it. They also can get equipped. It's all about more knowledge.

There exist also so many Christian apologetic ministers. Another Guy I will recommend is Ravi Zacharias. Very good passionate guy.

All the best

yolandy:
I have been around here for a while. I just created this new id to relate my problems here.

My husband of over 6 years has now become an outspoken atheist. He has been one all along but he has been keeping it on the low. He opened up to me and told me 3 years after we got married. I was shocked but there was nothing I could do. He wasn't really a religious person before we got married and I wasn't as well(I was much more religious than him even at that time). I began to take my religion very seriously after we got married. Now I have an amazing relatioship with God. I take it very seriously, and I put God first in my life. My husband does not. He doesn't rub his atheism on my face, we don't talk about religion, even when we do, it is always me that brings it up but, he sometimes listens and sometimes dismiss what I am saying with a wave of hand or with a laugh. He is a very good man and an excellent husband, he takes very good care of me and my 2 kids, he loves us to death, and does his duty as a father and a husband excellently. I can't wish for a better man.

He is not the type to engage in and argument over religion because he is very smart and always wins. I have seen 3 people engage him and they ended up losing the argument to him. He is widely read and cleaver so I can't even go into an argument with him. His mind is already made up. The problem I have right now is that he is becoming outspoken about his unbelief, back in the days he just keeps it to himself, these days I see him openly mocking and deriding pastors, believers, and anything that has to do with religion and I am not comfortable with that. Last week his elder brother had a heart attack(we live in the same estate), while his brother's wife and family were praying for him, my husband who is a doctor came and told them to shut up and allow him do what he can, he said instead of wasting their time praying to an imaginary God they should go and get the car ready to take him to the hospital because taking him to the hospital is what will save his life not some empty prayers to an imaginary God. Every body was shocked. His actions like these get me very worried. He is now very open about his unbelief and uses it to mock people that come to talk to him about God or religion. Most people I know now dislike him greatly for his unbelief. Rumors are circulating that he is in a secret cult. My pastor and friends in church don't like him. His family dislike him as well but they can't confront him. People now see me as "the wife of that devil" and I am not comfortable with it at all.

Some days ago I over heard him suggesting to my 6 years old son that the stories in the Bible are mere stories. It started when my son asked him why he doesn't pray together with us. I confronted him and he said he just wanted the boy to know how he feels about the Bible. He then said he will wait for our kids to grow up some more before letting them know his position. But I fear with his present outspoken attitude, he will try to poison their young minds and tell them that all the stories inside the Bible are all lies the way he tells any body that comes his way to either preach to him or engage him in any discussion about religion. We aren't having any problems now but I fear that his increasing outspokenness about his atheism will bring problems in our marriage sooner or later. I just hope he will keep quite and keep everything to himself they way he used to before but he won't. I have talked to him but he won't listen. He doesn't go about telling people that they should become atheist like him, but the way he goes about mocking religion and believers when ever the topic comes up is driving me mad. I really fear for our kids. What if something happens to me? I know my kids will become atheist like him, because he will poison their minds. What do I do now? I am really confused. I need advice from matured minds here. Please this should not be taken to the front page. I just want to read the contributions of the matured minds in here. Thank you





Re: Married To An Atheist by EDhims(m): 1:01pm On Aug 02, 2016
ronkebp:
I really don't know where the ''intelligence'' lies, when you cannot intelligently prove to me or others that there is no GOD. only when that has been proven, then i can hit my chest and say ''An Atheist is an intelligent man or woman''.


My dear, its easier to prove dat there's no God Dan to prove dat there is. Let's only pray we aren't caught by the wild wolves.
Re: Married To An Atheist by zeb04(f): 1:01pm On Aug 02, 2016
I really don't understand how a Doctor wouldn't believe in God,
Having worked in the theater for a while now,I know there's gotta be something or someone doing all these because I have seen miracles in the theater room.
Re: Married To An Atheist by adegeye38(m): 1:03pm On Aug 02, 2016
From the perspective of an observant human...
What is nature?

What kind of rules govern nature?

What if nature itself is the manifestation of a simple entity(God) designing a complex universe?
and as scientists unravel the mysteries of the universe they are just unravelling the awesomeness of the creator in the form of nature?

What is time?

At what point did time begin?

If God had existed before the begining of TIME then it answers so many questions

1) God was never created cos there was no need for his creation.
2) he was existing before beginning began and will still be existing after the end hence he is the begining and also the end.
3) It is proven and accepted that whatever has a beginning will surely have an end, and the universe was designed in such a way that there is always a beginning and an end (in which the bible emphasized on). In which we are also witnessing tday.
Taking time to understand who God is, is essential.

Science and religion are not enemies, science can learn a lot from religion.

Do you know that as science unravels the mystery, the complexity, the awesomeness of the universe IT IS ONLY LOGICAL AND MUCH MORE EASIER TO BELIEVE IN THE EXISTENCE OF A GOD MORE THAN TO BELIEVE IN EVOLUTION, BIG BANG AND CHANCE THEORY.

AND DONT FORGET IT IS ONLY A THEORY...AN ASSUMPTION YET TO BE PROVEN.

LETS TAKE SPACE AS AN EXAMPLE
SPACE IS A GIGANTIC AND UNIMAGINABLE "SPACE" FILLED WITH GALAXIES, STARS ,COSMOS, SUN, BLACK HOLES, AND UNKNOWN ENERGY KNOWN AS DARK MATTER.

IT IS ONLY LOGICAL TO BELIEVE THAT NATURE IS A MANIFESTATION OF A SUPREME CREATOR, THAN TO USE A MATHEMATICAL THEORY TO TRY TO PROVE HOW THE UNIVERSE WAS CREATED

IT TAKES A LOT OF FAITH TO BELIEVE TOTALLY WITHOUT DOUBT IN A THEORY AS LAME AS EVOLUTION AND BIG BANG THAN TO BELIEVE IN GOD.

ATHEISM IS A "RELIGION"
FOR THE WEAK MINDED WHO ARE SCARED ABOUT THE POSSIBILITY OF BEING ACCOUNTABLE TO A SUPREME BEING.

I LOVE SCIENCE A LOT, BUT I DONT THINK SCIENCE MAKES THE EXISTENCE OF GOD A DOUBT.
IT ONLY COMPLIMENT IT.

CONCLUSION:- science is still evolving there is still so much to learn and a lot of theories still to be proven( including evolution and big bang) and a lot of previous proven facts still to be disproven by new discoveries.

AS WE GO ABOUT UNRAVELING THE MYSTERY LETS KEEP AN OPEN MIND.
AND ITS BETTER TO LIVE YOUR LIFE LIKE THERE IS A GOD AND FIND OUT THERE IS ISN'T THAN TO LIVE YOUR LIFE LIKE THERE ISN'T AND LATER FIND OUT THERE IS.

PSALM 14 verse 1:The FOOL says in his heart, "GOD DOES NOT EXIST

FACT: my entire life is a big proof of God's existence.

ALL IN ALL THERE IS MORE TO THIS VERY COMPLEX UNIVERSE THAN WHAT WE SEE.
Re: Married To An Atheist by afroxyz: 1:04pm On Aug 02, 2016
plaetton:
Madam, this is exactly the problems we athiest have with religion.You have a loving husband whom you have loved and admired all this while and who has also loved you uncoditionally despite your religiousity.Now you are just beginning to feel uncomfortable about his athiesm. Why? Because of what others (religious folks ) are insinuating? Why is so hard to tolerate people who do not share your religious beliefs? Would you have prefered to be married to the so-called born again religous pretenders who outwardly profess regiousity but whose hearts are dark pits, than to a non-petensious reality-oriented man whose heart and mind is transparent to you at all times?

Have you reckoned that the problem might be with you and the increase in your religious zeal? Are you surprised that your pastor does not like him? How do u expect a pastor to like someone whom he cannot manipulate and sap? You are exhibiting the typical symptoms. Soon they will start seeing visions and prophesies about how your husband is evil and is going to do this or that to you and your children.
There is nothing in this world that divides people more than religion. Religion can destory your home if you allow it to do so.Your home should be your church. The love of your husband and children should be your sanctuary.
I guarantee that You cannot find in a church, what you cannot find in your home-namely love,sincerity,respect and peace.

I am an athiest who is married to a born again wife. I made my position know from the start and we have lived happily. I go to church with her from time to time. But I have grown waery of the "name it and claim it" theology of the pentecostal preachers,so I do not go anymore. I put my foot down on no night vigils, retreats,house fellowships, and midweek service. Otherwise, I try not to interfere. I find that is her church members who always want to make our religious difference an issue. I always put them in their right place.
As for my children, I have already succeeded in planting seeds of doubts in thier young minds, which for me ,is sufficient enough to help them develope the healthy skeptism necessary to intelligently discern life and reality, hopefully, from both a philosophycal and scientific perspectives rather than from religious perspective.

I do not see any problems in you family except the one that your religious peers are pressuring you to create.
Take note that the increase in your religious zeal is and will be directly proportional to the level of tension,resentment and ultimately, distrust in your household. I hope you make wise decisions.
No mind am. I just don't understand why people can't accept other people's view towards religion. If the OP was born in Saudi Arabia or Qatar, wouldn't she have been a Muslim? If she was born in India wouldn't she be a Hindu? She has a loving husband, yet she dey murmur. Na wa

4 Likes

Re: Married To An Atheist by goodguygonebad: 1:04pm On Aug 02, 2016
Your acceptance of the existence of a supreme being disqualifies you from being an atheist. Hope you know that??

Mikollon1:


Do you not think you are poisoning your kids minds by lying to them that Jesus is real? If you are discerning, you'll know that the bible is for mind control. There's a supreme being but there's no heaven, hell or a second coming.
Re: Married To An Atheist by CaraJewel(f): 1:08pm On Aug 02, 2016
Someone xaid dis...believing santa claus is real cuz christmas is real...y r u believing xmas is real as an atheist..y do u celebrate it...cuz xtians xaid datz d day jesus was born..xo derez no nid celebrating in wat u dnt belive..jxt like jws dnt celebrate xmas...wat dey av is memorial which is arnd nov
Re: Married To An Atheist by ooluwasinzu(m): 1:09pm On Aug 02, 2016
Mairuwa:
Please Watch the Movie War Room directed by Alex Kendrick. Then do what you need to do which is PRAY, PRAY, PRAY.
war room ko....warcraft ni....
Re: Married To An Atheist by Olivialight(f): 1:12pm On Aug 02, 2016
Madam,
You clearly stated that your husband is a man with conscience, a good man, why are you bothered with peoples opinion of him if you personally don't have issues with his believes,
You see at times we Christians take the whole religious thing over the board,
HOW in Gods name did those relatives not think of taking the man to hospital rather resorted to praying while the man suffers there, why will your hubby not react by that silly exhibition of theirs, At times people go to their church with their brains at home,no common sense again. If you talk they go quoting "judge not my anointed" but the anointed will commit all atrocities hiding under umbrella of anointed.
My dear, you should be worried if your hubby doesn't have a soul,so far he does,don't go forcing your believes down His throat,
Always remember that saying "live and let's live" that is even what a true Christian should do,not hating a person simply because he/she doesn't agree with you or your idea.

2 Likes

Re: Married To An Atheist by plaetton: 1:12pm On Aug 02, 2016
MetaHuman:


2012 topic


No wonder.

This comment shows when plaetton is still smart unlike the current plaetton that has allowed bigotry to override his thinking grin

Bigotry?
You must have me mixed up with someone else.
Attacking religious and ethnic bigots does not make one a bigot.

2 Likes

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