₦airaland Forum

jaybee3:
Why should a man with a job marry a liability?

Dynamics of the world with respect to earnings and expenditure as changed so it's the norm that couples contribute to the success of the family.


The pastor goofed with the message even though his intention had to do with importance of finance in marriages. Expect his gullible followers to start demanding heaven and earth when clearly there isn't a lot of eligible bachelors to choose from

I don't think the pastor goofed. People have the tendency to sensationalize statements like this and pick only the lines that interests them.

Let's face it, it is the man's responsibility to cater for his family. It shouldn't be the wife's duty. If it becomes hers, then the man is no longer the head of the family. He didn't say the woman too should stay idle, but her role should be complimentary and not the one in charge of providing finances. What I think he was trying to discourage is this recent trend of some men trying to shift the total financial responsibility of the family to their wives.

Toke sef...she missed the cooking and prayer part of his message I see

Toke is indirectly talking about Tiwa savage AND Teebillz marriage saga. If i may recall, the man you secretly got married to that has a job still left you for another woman. Abeg go hide yourself.

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Some women sabi cook no sabi pray , but any prayerful women can cook , I have check it out I cant remember any in my life or stories from people .

Lilimax:
Does it matter? Any good advice can come from any body...

A Virgin can't give advice on Sex.

How can Toke whose marriage barely lasted long enough for the Reception to end before it scattered be telling people who or what to marry?

Marriage is dynamic.. No two are the same. Marrying a Man with a job does not guarantee anyone a good marriage. Same way marrying a wife that can pray for 10 hours non-stop does not guaranty a good marriage.

Toke should first try and be successful at marriage before giving advise on marriage.

If I need advise on sex, I would rather go to a prostitut-e rather than go go to a Nun.

Hey miss guys are not fools we arldy knw.... I. Won't even marry a woman wifout a good job even she's got a god job n can't pray 4 an hour I won't marry ohhhh

Seriously why should a man without a job marry ?

It is lack of conscience that makes a jobless man have a hard on.

His mind should be too occupied to have an errecction



thank you joor,God bless you


A man that cannot carter for his household is worse that an infidel,in fact he is wicked

dis job tin wey she talk say God give adam, abeg o na job to chop d uselex apple abi wch 1 abeg

What happens if the guy looses is job 2 days before marriage or immediately after marriage? What will be the advice to her? What if it is after marriage the man is destined to get a job ?

zicoraads:
I don't think the pastor goofed. People have the tendency to sensationalize statements like this and pick only the lines that interests them.

He certainly did because economic realities and advent of gender equality has changed the dynamics of historical phenomenon.

zicoraads:
Let's face it, it is the man's responsibility to cater for his family. It shouldn't be the wife's duty.

That’s the exact mind-set that makes most men demigods in Naij. Success marriages requires flexibility and collective effort. You don’t go into a marriage to define roles and responsibilities. It’s simply a team effort

zicoraads:
If it becomes hers, then the man is no longer the head of the family. He didn't say the woman too should stay idle, but her role should be complimentary and not the one in charge of providing finances.

Finance shouldn’t be the determinant factor of who becomes the head of the family. That’s a recipe for disaster.
The head of the family should be the one with supreme leadership qualities. It’s simply as simple as that

zicoraads:
What I think he was trying to discourage is this recent trend of some men trying to shift the total financial responsibility of the family to their wives.

A man trying to shift financial responsibility is a lazy man. However, it’s technically possible for the woman to earn more than the man so do you expect the man to slave away so he can be your so called head of the family when clearly the dividend of the marriage will be equally shared

You simply have to understand you can’t generalise a statement when the context could be easily interpreted differently

MadCow1:
A Virgin can't give advice on Sex.

How can Toke whose marriage barely lasted long enough for the Reception to end before it scattered be telling people who or what to marry?

Marriage is dynamic.. No two are the same. Marrying a Man with a job does not guarantee anyone a good marriage. Same way marrying a wife that can pray for 10 hours non-stop does not guaranty a good marriage.

Toke should first try and be successful at marriage before giving advise on marriage.

If I need advise on sex, I would rather go to a prostitut-e rather than go go to a Nun.

I have seen some marriage counselors whose marriages have failed yet they are very good in counselling people about marriages.
Having a successful marriage is not just the only criteria for that

This is simple logic. Noone is asking you to be rich. Just have a job or something legal doing that makes end meet before considering marriage.

What's so hard to grasp there?

The underlying fact here is that a MAN should be able to cater for his family, be he a FISHERMAN DANFO DRIVER TAILOR MECHANIC CONTRACTOR just provide for your family

How many men today even have jobs? How many have source of income. We already have too much old single ladies already o, abeg. For guys that are income earners, how far ona marriage? Is it much more better than those of us without income? Are your wives happy, in the real sence of the word happy? Money does not bring happiness in marriage o. It is not the length of time you spend praying that matters to God, it is the quality of your prayers and the condition of your heart. Some can pray up to 10 hours, but their heart is wicked.

repogirl:
This is simple logic. Noone is asking you to be rich. Just have a job or something legal doing that makes end meet before considering marriage.

What's so hard to grasp there?

U sabi book

How do we now solve a problem called TOKE?

Who marriage don epp sef

Lilimax:
I have seen some marriage counselors whose marriages have failed yet they are very good in counselling people about marriages.
Having a successful marriage is not just the only criteria for that

Experience is the best teacher

Besides, counselors are meant to only provide an enabling environment for effective communication

repogirl:
This is simple logic. Noone is asking you to be rich. Just have a job or something legal doing that makes end meet before considering marriage.

What's so hard to grasp there?

It's hard to grasp when you restrict the need for the man alone.

do whatever works for you! simple and short.

hazyfm1:
Grow up

His point was legit... you should be the one doing the growing up instead...

Wetin person wan gridie go marry woman wey no fit help en life when free toto full everywhere..........if dem dey talk women u go think say dem be beta people no be them full street dey find who ho dash them money....

jaybee3:
It's hard to grasp when you restrict the need for the man alone.

Men should be able to cater for the home and women should be able to care for the home. The Pastor addressed both needs clearly.

how you live your life is nobody's business.the pastor has said what he felt,but that doesnt mean you need to take his advice.hes not God,hes just a man of God.
As for Toke na the part wey man no get job she see read from what the pastor said,can she even cook?does she even pray well?if she does those things well,she would have kept her man and her home in one piece.she should please shut the hell up!!

Alegirl:
Seriously why should a man without a job marry ?

It is lack of conscience that makes a jobless man have a hard on.

His mind should be too occupied to have an errecction



thank you joor,God bless you


A man that cannot carter for his household is worse that an infidel,in fact he is wicked

agreed but a woman that cant cook is pure scammer in a marriage.

jaybee3:
Why should a man with a job marry a liability?

Dynamics of the world with respect to earnings and expenditure as changed so it's the norm that couples contribute to the success of the family.


The pastor goofed with the message even though his intention had to do with importance of finance in marriages. Expect his gullible followers to start demanding heaven and earth when clearly there isn't a lot of eligible bachelors to choose from

Pastor Adeboye's view is too simplistic. Anyone can pray for an hour, cook and hold down a job. That doesn't make them fit for marriage. Finances actually tend to destroy marriage more than domestic skills, so I wonder why we keep harping on the latter as the be-all and end-all to a good marriage. And as for men expecting their wives to contribute financially to the success of the family, very true. Women should also expect men to contribute domestically to the success of the family. If I'm working fulltime, giving my kids the best of my talents as a mother, I will be too exhausted to be the world's greatest wife, because I'm a human being and I'm allowed to get tired. So my husband should step up and share that burden, same as we share the financial burden. Because things have changed, most of us grew up with an extended family unit as kids so our parents didn't hire maids but now we are very much a nuclear unit in our society.

repogirl:
Men should be able to cater for the home and women should be able to care for the home. The Pastor addressed both needs clearly.

Says who?

Just imagine how ridiculous your statement is when clearly that rule cannot be set in stone because of obvious world/economic dynamics

Here is an example for you to ponder on:

Should Joe blogg leave his wife who is temporarily working away in the middle east just because she can’t perform her duty of taking care of the home that includes a young child?

Should Cynthia Blogg who struggled hard to earn an MSc in Engineering degree with years of experience abandon her career because according to you Joe blogg is meant to cater for the home?

Should Joe Blogg be allowed to develop avoidable stress just because he isn’t able to earn enough money to support the collective dream of the family?


I would plead with you to embed the spirit of flexibility in you if you aren’t currently married as that’s a recipe for disaster

Lilimax:
I have seen some marriage counselors whose marriages have failed yet they are very good in counselling people about marriages.
Having a successful marriage is not just the only criteria for that

Hmm..

Marriage counselors normally tell you how to survive within a marriage not who to marry.

what if men with jobs dont ASK ur hand in marriage? oga u go reach the age of menopause before u realize d extent of damage u've bestowed on urselself. U concern urself about 2day witout actually putting the future into consideration. if man no get job today does not mean he no go get 2moro or for life ... Mugun!!LOlZ

GUYS DON'T MARRY A LADY WTOUT A JOB :/

Onegai:
Pastor Adeboye's view is too simplistic. Anyone can pray for an hour, cook and hold down a job. That doesn't make them fit for marriage. Finances actually tend to destroy marriage more than domestic skills, so I wonder why we keep harping on the latter as the be-all and end-all to a good marriage. And as for men expecting their wives to contribute financially to the success of the family, very true. Women should also expect men to contribute domestically to the success of the family. If I'm working fulltime, giving my kids the best of my talents as a mother, I will be too exhausted to be the world's greatest wife, because I'm a human being and I'm allowed to get tired. So my husband should step up and share that burden, same as we share the financial burden. Because things have changed, most of us grew up with an extended family unit as kids so our parents didn't hire maids but now we are very much a nuclear unit in our society.

We are saying the same thing.
A successful marriage requires collective input and it ought not to be defined since the players are expected to navigate curveballs during the marriage.

Having a mindset that the man should always be the provider cannot work since you can’t necessairly mitigate against a curveball such as one losing their Job/main source of income. So many families are struggling because they’ve stupidly relied on a single income financial module.

Same goes for the man that doesn’t want to contribute domestically or whatever when clearly it’s almost impossible to marry a do it all robot/slave.

lol the fuuny part is that same toke will come and start shouting gender equality yet she is saying men should provide for the family.....even though that's how its supposed to be , with this gender equality thingy i don't think a woman without a job is also advisable.......

how can i provide for the family then 1 woman will come and tell me we are equal....if i wooze her ehn.....

mtcheeew..

but men why we go marry without a steady cash flow abeg even if you no pity your future wife pity your future kids ....

women that can't cook more than momsy abeg swerve

woman wey no get job abeg dodge

woman wey no fit act like UN peace corps for house abeg gerrarahere

don't quote me..