₦airaland Forum

Hello Worriedgirl.

Go back and tell him that after giving it much thought you decided that you don't want any romantic relationship with him.

Be polite about it. He did not act on his "feelings" by propositioning you as an undergraduate. I think he deserves a measure of respect for that.

Spell it out in clear terms. Don't expect any favours from now on. You admitted that he favoured you as an undergraduate. Well, you should no longer expect him to go the extra mile for you. You must earn your way in your career. This way, he would be hard pressed to victimize you.

philybuck:
You welcome dear, make sure you share the good news after the moment of truth.

alright dear

AfroKnight:
Hello Worriedgirl.

Go back and tell him that after giving it much thought you decided that you don't want any romantic relationship with him.

Be polite about it. He did not act on his "feelings" by propositioning you as an undergraduate. I think he deserves a measure of respect for that.

Spell it out in clear terms. Don't expect any favours from now on. You admitted that he favoured you as an undergraduate. Well, you should no longer expect him to go the extra mile for you. You must earn your way in your career. This way, he would be hard pressed to victimize you.

thanks

@ Op, Please just say YES quickly to that young dude you haven't told us about and get married.


I believe he (the professor) will respect you more and quit his advances when you are married.

Say YES to a Yoruba boy today. Lol

He will soon pillow you.

sanyahkod:
@ Op, Please just say YES quickly to that young dude you haven't told us about and get married.


I believe he (the professor) will respect you more and quit his advances when you are married.

Say YES to a Yoruba boy today. Lol

it's actually a southern guy and I'm considering it seriously

UrWorstNitemare:


OP. I feel there is more to this story than you are telling..

Yeah. I kno Wat it means to hold somebody in high esteem, buh tis...
I sense a form of obligation from you towards him.

Since you came tis far...

U can as well say it all...

I've laid it all on the table and I tried to be as partial as possible with my part of the story... it is as you have seen it, I've held him in high esteem for so long and the situation is just very uncomfortable, that's all

Just tell him that ur husband is thanking him for all his assistance, get him a gift and tell him it is from ur husband. Let him know ur same husband has intention of paying u a visit in the school. If he insist in knowing who ur husbanf is, give him my number.
. If he is actually decent and intelligent he will change his mind. It is the best way to discharge him without offending him or his emotions, so that good things and good people will still come ur way in future.

luka1981:
Just tell him that ur husband is thanking him for all his assistance, get him a gift and tell him it is from ur husband. Let him know ur same husband has intention of paying u a visit in the school. If he insist in knowing who ur husbanf is, give him my number.
. If he is actually decent and intelligent he will change his mind. It is the best way to discharge him without offending him or his emotions, so that good things and good people will still come ur way in future.

hahaha... lol... thanks for your contribution

worriedgirl:
Disclaimer : This is real so please kindly drop the necessary advice needed before the saucy comments.

My name is Lilian (pseudonym) and this is my story. Few years back, I was admitted into one of the universities in Nigeria. It was a great opportunity and I made up my mind to make good use of it. My intelligence endeared me to one of the senior professors in my department, the head of department to be precise. I enjoyed the attention he gave to me cause it gave me a chance to learn from his vast wealth of knowledge. He was a very intelligent man, he got all his degrees from UK universities and his intelligence was a force to reckon with. It didn't take long for me to start crushing on him... helllooooo don't blame me, I have a weakness for intelligent men and he liked me a lot too cause I was really young (I had to increase my age to get into the university ) and I was one of the best students in my set. He was nothing like the other lecturers, he related with students very freely and didn't have a high-handed nature like our Naija lecturers. We would talk about so many things in his office and I gained a lot from his intelligence, he was impressed with me cause I had one or two things to chip in regarding any topic that was raised. He would give me money sometimes for lunch and pleeaaasseeee free me, I didn't beg for it ooo, I was young then sef, my eye bin never tear for money.
I heard some stories about him being a womanizer and sleeping with students to give them financial assistance cause he was really loaded in the pocket region but he never exchanged sex for grades as he was really disciplined in the academic region, the man sef no dey waste time to give me "b" for him course, me wey be him paddy paddy. I never paid attention to the stories cause he was my idol after all and he never made any sexual advances towards me so it was none of my business. He was like a mentor to me and would always give me beneficial advises and I knew he had my best interest at heart. I had a little crush on him too.
On the day of my graduation, I gave him a gift and we said our goodbyes.

When I went to serve my fatherland (NYSC), he kept in touch regularly and started showing emotional interests. I made my first mistake by accommodating it, pleaassseeee don't chew me yet, I had a crush on him and he was my idol for crying out loud!!! Note that I never exchanged emotional messages with him, I only sent a smiling smiley whenever he sent them, he was sacred and I didn't have the courage to do it even if I wanted to.

After NYSC, I got a good news, my school was going to retain me as per best graduating student in the department thing. After finalizing everything, I was to work in his sub-department. No be for this kain country wey pesin dey throway better opportunity like this, no time to state the benefits of this job, all I can say for now is that it's a Federal university so think about the benefits yourself. When I visited his office briefly, he brought up the affair thing, he's married with children that can marry me sef so I knew it was never going to happen. He asked for a kiss and when I remained motionless, he hugged me tight and asked me to go and think about it. There's nothing to think about, I think the crush I had on him was academical cause there's nothing attracting me to him sexually at all, moreover he's somebody's husband and he's old enough to be my father too. I'm not scared of him causing any problem for me cause I don't think he would go that low, he is more intelligent than that. The problem is that I wish we could go back to how we were before this affair thing came up. He complimented my stature and it irritated me. I don't hate him at all, I just dislike the strange air building between us cause of his request. How do I act around him now that I have to work in his sub-department. I plan to act dumb like I don't understand what he is saying and avoid being alone with him cause he is retiring in five years time, but how possible is that? Working with him for five years and avoiding him, does that look realistic? I don't want to ever offend him not cause I'm scared of him but cause he has been my idol for too long, I respect him too much. I'm praying that the school sends me abroad for my PhD, at least that will remove 2-3 years from the 5 years. Please start throwing advises and for those that will still decide to bash me, please bash with a heart. Thanks.

sis, you dont have the same office with him. focus on ur career, if you can say no politely when he brings the topic then fine if not just laugh it off when he starts talking trash...don't engage him in d discourse.
ps: did u use phone to type this or system cos i cant see any short words. its so time taking typing with phone without short words...lol

Harvard13:
sis, you dont have the same office with him. focus on ur career, if you can say no politely when he brings the topic then fine if not just laugh it off when he starts talking trash...don't engage him in d discourse.
ps: did u use phone to type this or system cos i cant see any short words. its so time taking typing with phone without short words...lol

thanks for your advice

I typed with my phone, I hate using short words cause they could become a problem in future if one gets used to it

worriedgirl:
it's actually a southern guy and I'm considering it seriously

Good geh..

Well sis, if I were to be to be in your shoes I'd get a fake engagement ring and put it on everyday till my boyfriend proposes. With that you can shove him off by telling him that you're engaged to be married and saving yourself for your husband to be, if he's learned like you said he would respect that and let you be. #JUSTSAYING...

some ladies are the cause of their own downfall, is too obvious you threw yourself at him from the onset and only god knows how long he must have endured the temptation you mounted on him and now that he is weak and fallen prey, you are now having a rethink..mscheww...you want an advice? i will give you one.

QUIT YOUR JOB OR GIVE HIM WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN TEMPTING HIM WITH OVER THE YEARS

LaDivva:
Well sis, if I were to be to be in your shoes I'd get a fake engagement ring and put it on everyday till my boyfriend proposes. With that you can shove him off by telling him that you're engaged to be married and saving yourself for your husband to be, if he's learned like you said he would respect that and let you be. #JUSTSAYING...

thanks dear

Do not blame the man,he saw a green light but turn out to be wrong.You can express your mind intelligently to him.He was right to feel your body language and other signs from you,please try all you can do to make the case simple to him.best of luck

worriedgirl:
hahaha... lol... thanks for your contribution

U did not ask me how to go about 'my number' see i am willing to act as your fake husband now to save u from not becoming a heartbreaker to ur academic mentor.

luka1981:
U did not ask me how to go about 'my number' see i am willing to act as your fake husband now to save u from not becoming a heartbreaker to ur academic mentor.

thanks for the offer dear but I don't think it'll be necessary

@ worriedgirl Why would I bash ? There's nothing go bash. Your course of action is the best one. It will be better to avoid the guy for now.

UyiIredia:
@ worriedgirl Why would I bash ? There's nothing go bash. Your course of action is the best one. It will be better to avoid the guy for now.

thanks

worriedgirl:
thanks for your advice

I typed with my phone, I hate using short words cause they could become a problem in future if one gets used to it

already a problem for me...its kinda annoying. goodluck with the lecturer.

luka1981:
Just tell him that ur husband is thanking him for all his assistance, get him a gift and tell him it is from ur husband. Let him know ur same husband has intention of paying u a visit in the school. If he insist in knowing who ur husbanf is, give him my number.
. If he is actually decent and intelligent he will change his mind. It is the best way to discharge him without offending him or his emotions, so that good things and good people will still come ur way in future.

hahaha...lol.finally a smart man will withdraw when he hears husband.

Harvard13:
already a problem for me...its kinda annoying. goodluck with the lecturer.

yh, thanks