₦airaland Forum

freshvine:
He needed you for a trophy wife, you needed him for poverty alleviation and Amelica Visa.

Kiss the dust

don't you wish your life was that good. May jealousy not kill you. Envious soul.

That your dossier on me is still in your safe? What are you waiting for in releasing it? Maybe you're keeping it to jerk off to.

Disgusting Creep. Lifeless stalker that need to go get a life and stop masturbating over that of others. My happiness will be the death of you.

Lucifer's child.

Op, your wife hormones is not balanced. Take her to see a specialist who will recommend some drugs and dieting to reinvigorate her.

Timbuktou:
Men too dey fûck up. You're discussing sex with your wife up to three times? My brother, you cannot negotiate attraction. If a woman wants to fúck you, she will fûck you. She will always be in the mood, or she will be in the mood way more times than she's not. You are suffering from see finish syndrome.

I advise you to spend less time than you used to with her, get a hobby and, of course, get a bloody side chick. And monitor her destiny codedly, if you're not chopping her ponmo, nobody else with be chopping the ponmo. When she ready, she go coordinate.

only matured advice so far, the op is an inexperienced love sick hubby, and what he dosent know is that the more he tries to talk to her about it the less her desire to fvck him. the woman probably from an over religious background where she feels like a slut if she were to suggest sex. its possible the op used his money to buy her and the woman feels little for him. ignorant people keep thinking women dont want sex and the women play the role perfectly to mugus

cococandy:
don't you wish your life was that good. May jealousy not kill you. Envious soul.

That your dossier on me is still in your safe? What are you waiting for in releasing it? Maybe you're keeping it to jerk off to.

Disgusting Creep. Lifeless stalker that need to go get a life and stop masturbating over that of others. My happiness will be the death of you.

Lucifer's child.

Coco e do. The devil is here to kill and destroy. W cast them into the pit of hell. Amen

Onegai:
Innovestor, today is Thursday, send your wife a message right now, ask her what she's doing, if there's light etc. Come home earlier than usual and play with the kids. Buy cake for your wife and everybody eat. When I say play, I mean PLAY. Dance like an egun masquerade. During this play, you guys should make a paper ball, recreate the NIG-GER match of yesterday (pls be Germany ) and stylishly throw it at Mum. Let her pass it back, infact,rush her if she holds the ball long. Feel free to smack her bum during the play, no red card given. Don't ask for sex.

Tomorrow, come home and watch whatever she wants to watch, discuss it with her animatedly. What hairdo is she wearing? Bet you don't know offhand tell her to bring her nailpolish, you want to practise painting because the economy has crashed and manipedis ain't cheap. Ask her what's going with life. Just listen. Gist freely.

Saturday, you and her go to the mall. Go watch a movie together (no kids allowed). In the car home, hold her hand. When you get home, don't sit in your usual seat (the one you use as your personal space), sit with her. Tell her "I've missed us having fun, I've missed you". See how the evening goes.

Hmm. . .You be bad pikin. How did you all know all this. Most men don't know they need to work towards having sex even before the time. It is all this romance & play that will put her in the mood to even seek for sex. They should learn from their wives trick of getting money from them.

cococandy:
don't you wish your life was that good. May jealousy not kill you. Envious soul.

That your dossier on me is still in your safe? What are you waiting for in releasing it? Maybe you're keeping it to jerk off to.

Disgusting Creep. Lifeless stalker that need to go get a life and stop masturbating over that of others. My happiness will be the death of you.

Lucifer's child.

That ugly husband of yours with tattoos all over his body, you married him for America. Gold digger!

Part time wife. Keep living the life you ever wish for on nairaland while loneliness kills you.

I won't abuse you but I'll be dropping subtle punchline that will kill you

Onegai:
Sigh. Okay, I'll spell it out for you, Acidosis and other guys who keep screaming "all this for one night":

Do you watch Football? Do you spend time on it? Do you worry and fret about it? Do you discuss it with your friends and strangers on the internet? Why? Because it is important to you.

If your family and your wife is not important to you to spend time on and put it in effort, that all of you are complaining "all this for one round", please do the whole world a favour: Don't get married. Save your money. Keep your freedom. Don't have kids, children expect and demand your attention. The world's full of badly neglected children destroying it, we don't need more biko.

If the OP had listened to me and done as I suggested, the next time he smiles (a mere smile) and does something to remind her of the last time they had fun, she will be receptive to him. In time, it will translate to her actively seeking him out to have fun. But the OP wants to be "A Man". And men don't beg (even though I didn't ask him to), man commands and tell a woman it is her duty. So let me be clear on this:

It is a woman's duty to had sex with her husband. It is not her duty to make love to him. Making love requires happy feelings she isn't feeling and the supposed leader doesn't know how (and doesn't want to know) how to inspire happy feelings in his submissive partner. That means simply lying there and spreading her legs and thinking of her chores. If I were that wife, I will even get a sextoy and help myself in the bathroom after he's done. Please feel free to cheat: I hate to break it to guys, but a lot of men have cheated on beautiful, sexy women who cooked up a storm and loved Jesus and worshipped the ground they worked on. So you have taught us that there is no reward for treating you right. A lot of women don't care (yes they will cry because their pride got hurt, but they will move on swiftly to the point the man becomes only a paycheque to be cashed to pay bills) and a lot of women are cheating on their husbands now (if I were a guy, I would be worried about misbehaving with what I now know of cheating wives). Men have cried wolf too many times. Nobody's scared anymore, what's the worst you will do, cheat. Heck, most women are more scared of losing your income than losing the actual man. But your kids, ah, your kids will suffer. The proof of all I'm saying is daily around you in the world. God is going to hold man responsible because yes, women are also at fault, but He left you guys in charge. Something you remind women of daily.

So if you want your wife to fulfil her duty, please let her know and she can lie down, adjust her nightie and you do your thing. But if you want to have an active partner, one who jumps you and tickles you and sends you promised at work, take my advice and put some #$@! effort into your marriage. The same effort you put into discussing Pogba's transfer.

The End.

Pull your face and stop being biased?
Saving marriage? The woman that has been mildly threatened with breakup, what effort is she putting to "save the marriage". Abi only the man has responsibility for marriage saving.
you cannot force someone to be emotionally involved when fucking. Accepted. But madam doesnt even let him Bleep. What are you eveb yapping about.

innovestor:
Please dear, don't get scared. It is not the intent of my write-up. Marriage is enjoyable. One gets different challenges once in a while dear. how you handle it is what matters.

I will advice you do a thorough home work before marriage. this will save you many troubles in marriage.

Hello sir, I have a question...what do you mean "thorough home work" can you explain further so that youths with marriage in view can learn, thanks sir

rubyradiance:
Total lies,,,,those people in the house in d name of help can be relatives that are wearing her out in d first place,,,oga OP go and pamper this woman,,learn her to praise her and say sexy things to her,,compliment her looks,,encourage her dreams,show concern to her biz, and advice her and pleasseeeee stop talking down on her cis I see it in ur post already

You dey live with them? How you take know?

I think you and your wife need to have another discussion.

Sexual satisfaction should be a 2 way thing so if she keeps denying you of it, it probably because she isnt enjoying it. Try to get her to "cloud 9". Make sex fun and stop going to her only when your Mr D is ready work,

Women are wired differently and most women dont get turned on by seeing a naked man (most men are turned on by naked women). Prepare her for it....reduce her house chores and stress

innovestor:
Why Is This Common With Most Wives? They Need To CHANGE!

Hello NLers.

I am here basically to sample thoughts and opinions on this matter from matured minds. No insults or names calling. Just address the issue with suggestions.

There is a saying (by me ) that goes thus: Learn to appreciate what you have now. Don't wait till it's gone to find out its value. There is also another saying (not by me ) that goes thus: Wives don't suck dick; only girlfriends do.

So to the matter. I am married to this lovely lady. She is good by good standards (details will be given later if need be). I am also good by good standards (details will be given later if need be ). However when it comes to making love, this is where the "matters arising" comes to play; yes sex.

Firstly, I am not necessarily the over demanding type, however i am not sexually satisfied completely in my home. I am very understanding when she actually is not in the right frame of conditions to make love, however for me making the moves every time for us to make love is tiring (and yes ladies you should make the moves sometimes, if not more).

Secondly, i am the type with a conscience. I have not raped and will never rape any one even my wife because this is practically impossible for me as my man-hood (which lives on) will suddenly slump in such situation (that's why i said practically impossible). So what am i driving at? Once my wife tells me she is a bit tired, she has a slight waist pain, head-ache, leg ache etc. i practically refrain from making love to her. It has happened most times that i am all up and doing and ready to hit the road and then she says she has a head-ache (unconsciously i must admit most times) i just pack-up and hit the bed to dream world.

Now the challenge is this. Being sort of sexually deprived by my wife, being a hardworking good citizen of Nigeria that makes an average earning (at least i dey drive motor and can comfortably take care of my family and one or two more outsiders despite the harsh economy) I am exposed to falling into countless number of temptations. In order not to brag, i have ladies calling me almost on a daily basis now and literally begging me to "shine their congo". Yes they know i am married with kids but don't care. Na me dey dodge them sef and avoid picking some calls.

Now the question is this: what can i do to solve this issue? What can i do to make my wife get off her relaxed state to make the moves for us to be more sexually engaged (and i am not talking of just missionary alone, i love adventure)? Should i just ignore her talks of head aches and find a means of forcing myself to do it with her ( I have actually asked her if this is what she wants - no response received). What can i do?

I am asking as we have had this sex talk twice and i have told her what i felt about the whole thing (of course she shed tears na). The third time we had the discussion, i told her categorically that this would be the last time for such discussion because if there is not improvement, i will not talk to her about it anymore and would seek other means to "help myself out". This is where i am at the moment.

So you ideas are welcome ladies and gentlemen.

P.S. Wow! So the write up long reach like this? be patient to read through.

What should you do?

Talk to her, tell her your pain!

Why do people share their marital problem first to NLanders before their wife, na NL you marry?

See a counsellor and not mofos here

Chillisauce:
Coco e do. The devil is here to kill and destroy. W cast them into the pit of hell. Amen

Preaching to cococandy who has never opened the Bible before. Her character and actions is not indoctrinated in the Holy book.

Tell her the Bible said a woman need to be submissive to her husband and hear her quote the devil version.

I'll run her out of nairaland for devising the will of the devil to destroy relationships and implant evil seed on the mind of young girls of this forum using gender rivalry

freshvine:
That ugly husband of yours with tattoos all over his body, you married him for America. Gold digger!

Part time wife. Keep living the life you ever wish for on nairaland while loneliness kills you.

I won't abuse you but I'll be dropping subtle punchline that will kill you

YOU HAVE HER INFOS TOO? RIVER? I HAVE PLENTY ON YOU COCOCANDY BUT I WILL LEAVE YOU FOR NOW. WE KNOW YOU LIE MORE THAN LUCIFER,YOUR SUPPOSED JOB AND SCHOOL BUT NOT NOW.I KNOW HOW YOUR WHOLE FAMILY WENT TO BEG YOUR IN LAW FOR YOUR Bleep UP,AMERICA WAS BECOMING A DREAM,YOU WILL RUN FROM NL IF I TALK AS MUCH AS I KNOW,WITH PICTURES FACTS!

Timbuktou:
Men too dey fûck up. You're discussing sex with your wife up to three times? My brother, you cannot negotiate attraction. If a woman wants to fúck you, she will fûck you. She will always be in the mood, or she will be in the mood way more times than she's not. You are suffering from see finish syndrome.

I advise you to spend less time than you used to with her, get a hobby and, of course, get a bloody side chick. And monitor her destiny codedly, if you're not chopping her ponmo, nobody else with be chopping the ponmo. When she ready, she go coordinate.

Badth guy

Chillisauce:
Coco e do. The devil is here to kill and destroy. W cast them into the pit of hell. Amen

Well let me ignore. I've better things to do.

francis18:
YOU HAVE HER INFOS TOO? RIVER? I HAVE PLENTY ON YOU COCOCANDY BUT I WILL LEAVE YOU FOR NOW. WE KNOW YOU LIE MORE THAN LUCIFER,YOUR SUPPOSED JOB AND SCHOOL BUT NOT NOW.I KNOW HOW YOUR WHOLE FAMILY WENT TO BEG YOUR IN LAW FOR YOUR Bleep UP,AMERICA WAS BECOMING A DREAM,YOU WILL RUN FROM NL IF I TALK AS MUCH AS I KNOW,WITH PICTURES FACTS!

She was sounding she will come down on me and gave excuse she was headed to the market. Guess what? Less than 30 minutes she was back to nairaland. One jobless lady that depends on her 3 times a year husband for her meal ticket. Pathetic liar!

What I don't get is why a lot of folks especially the females seems to think the OP is not doing enough in the marriage despite the contrary...why must you'all think he has to pet and pet and pet his wife to fall in line? don't you thinking at a point it will be come tiring for him initiating all the processes leading to the love making?

What then is her role?? Haba!! Make the madam use her initiative na!

A wise woman who wants to keep her man within the confine of her alluring thighs must do the needful or else...side chick matters will via in

cococandy:
don't you wish your life was that good. May jealousy not kill you. Envious soul.

That your dossier on me is still in your safe? What are you waiting for in releasing it? Maybe you're keeping it to jerk off to.

Disgusting Creep. Lifeless stalker that need to go get a life and stop masturbating over that of others. My happiness will be the death of you.

Lucifer's child.

Single ladies everwhere. Your spoiled (no offense)

freshvine:
Preaching to cococandy who has never opened the Bible before. Her character and actions is not indoctrinated in the Holy book.

Tell her the Bible said a woman need to be submissive to her husband and hear her quote the devil version.

I'll run her out of nairaland for devising the will of the devil to destroy relationships and implant evil seed on the mind of young girls of this forum using gender rivalry

You wey Don submit wey your own husband. Abi you follow the the ones married to Jesus Satan leave me alone.

Go submit to your on N'a and leave the babe alone. Agadi ekwe nka.

Reference:
So men don't know your number. Thought you will address the issue.

That's not the point. Even if I do, will I be proudly saying that I've men begging to fvck me? I'm sure you cringed a bit reading that line. So why don't you think it's awkward for OP to be saying that?

Men need to realize that their wives have feelings too and not do things they wouldn't want the wives doing to them and even bragging about it.

tourismlove:
You know "Nigerian women" are perfect

Must you quote me?? E pain you sha

That's a dude. Don't be deceived

Chillisauce:
You wey Don submit wey your own husband. Abi you follow the the ones married to Jesus Satan leave me alone.

Go submit to your on N'a and leave the babe alone. Agadi ekwe nka.

theres need to look into the body size of the lady. ladies on the big side tend to b dragging their feet when it comes to playing.

Bro Na so.
My advise for u are: Start giving her surprise gift i.e what she like most and other things that will make him happy, Ladies fall and renew their love thru materials things. Try to be dressing well, blow good scent, appear neat always, probably she is loosing interest in what she love in u. start treating her like a GF, u kno what am saying, all those pre-intimacy, help her on house work. she will definitely remember her first feeling she with you. they are funny creature, need to study them well.

Chillisauce:
You wey Don submit wey your own husband. Abi you follow the the ones married to Jesus Satan leave me alone.

Go submit to your on N'a and leave the babe alone. Agadi ekwe nka.

Do I have to advertise?

Only inferiority complex people does that. Gold diggers whose dream came unexpectedly.

freshvine:
Do I have to advertise?

Only inferiority complex people does that. Gold diggers whose dream came unexpectedly.

Wey your own dream N'a. Abi your existence on Earth is to follow married woman upandan like where fly see sh1t. You well so?

cococandy:
How did those ladies calling you get your number? You're married and still distributing your number everywhere and have the guts to brag about it.
If you want to smoothen things over with your wife, talk to her about it not us. We can't say anything that will make her change Except you're going to show her this thread. And stop giving ladies your number.

If nobody talk... you go sha dig your mouth... and spew rubbish...

Not as if you're married ooo...

cococandy:
That's a dude. Don't be deceived

Alot of mentally challenged folks in naija. The sun, hardship will make a normal person f.go ray not or talk of semi deranged folks.

Women are wired for sex differently from men. What makes a woman want or give sex is totally different from a mans'. U need to understand this first b4 u can solve the problem. I suggest u read these two books by Gary Chapman 'the 5 love languages' & 'Things I wish I knew b4 getting married'. (And any other book u can find) They will help u understand better. Again when u said u'v spoken to her about it, how did u do it. Did u just tell her ur mind and lay down d law. Or did u try to communicate with her by asking questions(keeping an open mind despite her answers.)to find out why she gets like. They are two different things. Hope this helps.

cococandy:
don't you wish your life was that good. May jealousy not kill you. Envious soul.

That your dossier on me is still in your safe? What are you waiting for in releasing it? Maybe you're keeping it to jerk off to.

Disgusting Creep. Lifeless stalker that need to go get a life and stop masturbating over that of others. My happiness will be the death of you.

Lucifer's child.

Single ladies everywhere. Your spoiled (no offense)

Chillisauce:
Alot of mentally challenged folks in naija. The sun, hardship will make a normal person f.go ray not or talk of semi deranged folks.

If only they paid as much attention to their own lives as they do to the lives of others, I'm sure they'll notice a difference.

Yahoo boys and scam artists looking for who to feed them. When you don't fall to their tactics they resort to following you up and down NL with different monikers issuing threats. We've seen them before.

TV01:
Sex in marriage is both a right and an obligation. Yes, one should pay attention to romance, certainly, one must be considerate given sensitive or difficult conditions or situations, but the fact remains, sexual intimacy is a particular of marriage.

The issue OP has brought here is not “his” problem, it’s their problem, and the will is lacking on her part. She should be looking at how to resolve this even more, or at least as much as he is, as she is failing in her wifely duties.

I laugh when I hear strident advice about what “he needs to do”, and changes “he needs to make”. Especially when the advice is all around romancing, woo’ing and pampering her .

The truth is, we do not know the root cause of the problem here, but a good and understanding wife should make all efforts to restore normalcy. If he has the worst halitosis, she can communicate that (as sensitively as possible) and support him through it. Likewise if he has any other physical or grooming issue.

And again, if the issue is the stress of their day-to-day life, she should be working as assiduously as he is to make fundamental changes and create time for them to rekindle their passion.

If the issue is her low libido, again, she needs to understand that she is obligated to make efforts to satisfy him. Like Timbuktou said, you can’t negotiate attraction, and likewise a man should not have to pander or graft for what is his by right. So I may prescribe a different approach, but I agree, men too dey eff up!

And if the issue is his loss of status or desirability in her eyes, woo’ing and romancing her will make his stock fall even further – she’ll soon despise him, or at best codedly friendzone her spouse.

It’s why I advise men to marry younger/fitter women, and ones who naturally acknowledge their dominance and headship. Not dominance as in being tyrannical, or for reasons of control, but leading and being in some ways more mature and learned. I wonder the age/status gap between OP and his wife?

Younger/fitter, because when the stresses of life come upon women, the older and less fit they are, the more less likely they will be make the effort required to keep in shape and make pleasing you a priority. And the more likely it is that you will find yourself in a place where you are duty bound to fulfil your obligations, but getting little by way of satisfaction in return.

Would a dutiful husband become a vassal in his own home? Does OP develop headache when the bills are due? Or when his wife needs aso ebi or favors for her family, does she first clear a weekend and map a schedule of extra special TLC for him ?

Men run your homes. Address issues at root and be prepared to make long-term structural changes if required. By all means romance her, certainly woo the butt of her. But do it because she deserves it and you want to. Not to curry sexual favor, or pander to her sense of entitlement or failings, dammit! I’ll stop now lest I punch a hole in my lappy .


TV

Broo, you have spoken well.