Relationship Chess - Romance - Nairaland
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| Relationship Chess by nuwell(m): 9:07am On Jul 10, 2013 |
I USED to sympathize with the sob stories and tales of woe of brokenhearted ladies; I USED to scowl at playboys and then wonder how, they always managed to attract all the 'female' traffic; I USED to get on the offensive if I perceived a whiff of a fraudulent relationship into which a dear female was being enticed; I USED to breathe blue murder and envisage all the creative things I'd do if a bloke 'fooled' with my daughter's heart.... Not until I tried the shoe out on the other foot. Here are excerpts from a very enlightening conversation I had with a friend, an older and wiser lady as opposed to the young, inexperienced and more gullible ones of my generation: [size=8pt](Excerpts are quoted exactly as typed. It was a IM chat, by the way) Her: U are just a sweet guy Me: I should blush if my skin tone would bear it. Sadly I dont think it would Her: Funny Me: Really ... Me: Let me share something you might find a little controversial.. Her: Ok Me: Fact: you'd probably recognize but not appreciate my 'sweetness' if you'd been twenty years younger! (My friend's about that much older). Her (without any hesitation): Lol. Maybe. I have always loved nice guys though. Did not always date them though. Me (feeling I was on to something): Ah ha! So why does that happen? Her: Because girls like a project. If u are a sweet guy u are not a challenge. Lol. My dad used to say 'girls find the perfect man and then spend the rest of their lives trying to change them.' Me (a little depressed now): Sad!....and painful!!!! Her: Girls think they can change a jerk Me: Very painful Her: Yeah, but true. (After a brief pause) I'm sorry, but u are right. Girls your age may not realize what they are missing with u. They often look for excitement and not stability Me: I once had a 'hopeful' whose favourite expression for me was 'good man'. I thought that should be an advantage, seeing as lotta dem go through some bad sh** (excuse me) at the hands of guys. She very quietly walked away after barely six months. Till date, i'm not sure what I did or didnt do. Its frustrating!!!!! Maddening!!! Infuriating!!!! Her: But then as u said, I have lived long enough to appreciate a REAL man. Sorry babe. If I had the opportunity to talk to her I would tell her what a wonderful guy she gave up. She doesnt know what she passed up. Big mistake, Big. (I's pretty much too depressed at this point to appreciate the compliments though) Me: Guys like me invest ourselves a lot into every relationship, and are usually reluctant it wld seem, to make oft seeming 'long term' commitments since we take each one so seriously. so its often a bit hard to learn its a failed investment. Her: Don't give up. She is out there. I hope this has not made u bitter... Or made you want to give up Me: Bitter no. Angry, a little bit. Disenchanted, mostly Her: ...Sigh... :-/ She is a fool. Me: Remember the irony? You'd probably do the same thing. But add the wisdom of your years to that equation and you'd probably stand a chance Her: Yeah well....Lol This discourse reinforced my conviction that the Perfect Woman (or Man) is a myth and the Ideal relationship doesn't exist, except in the imaginations of people. Each relationship then is what the consenting partners make of it. It taught me that every bride requires grooming. The Groom has to know what kind of material he can work with and select a 'suitable' one. No one will ever be getting a readymade product. And that's why every relationship requires work, and why marriage is not for boys, but for men, who had over time, painstakingly honed their grooming skills. Heck, it even showed me the inspiration behind the cliché 'wife material'... And why good relationships mature like fine wine with time... And why the marriage contract contains the clause '...till DEATH do us part...' Obviously 50 years isn't enough to discover all you can create from so complex an entity as a human being. Besides, the fact that the material is subject to many constantly varying factors, the sculptor is subject to fluctuating levels of inspiration! I realize that this issue isn't one to be comprehended in any space of time but to be grown into. Now, I am more eager to revaluate myself and discover what or rather who I've been groomed to groom. I STILL sympathize with the sob stories and tales of woe of brokenhearted ladies, I STILL scowl at play boys and then wonder how, they always manage to attract all the 'female' traffic; I STILL get on the offensive if I perceive a whiff of a fraudulent relationship into which a dear female was being enticed; I STILL breathe blue murder and envisage all the creative things I'd do if a bloke 'fooled' with my daughter's heart.... Don't be my scapegoat. Haha! 2 Likes
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| Re: Relationship Chess by clemz85(m): 10:20am On Jul 10, 2013 |
i can't but say THANK YOU SIR |
| Re: Relationship Chess by clemz85(m): 10:24am On Jul 10, 2013 |
something ring bell to my head while reading your text, buying already made shirt and amending it/ sowing the material to my perfect original shape, hmmmm |
| Re: Relationship Chess by nuwell(m): 10:33am On Jul 10, 2013 |
clemz85: something ring bell to my head while reading your text, Hmmm...Interesting analogy. I'm glad you are so inspired. Thanks for sharing with me, clemz85 |
| Re: Relationship Chess by Ishilove: 3:15pm On Jul 10, 2013 |
nu-well:For ya mind. You sure sey the woman tok this?    Hokay hokay, jokes aside  . I don't believe there is a Mr Perfect. What I believe is there is a person out there, warts and all other imperfections whom you can tailor to fit into to what your idea of a near perfect partner should be... |
| Re: Relationship Chess by nuwell(m): 3:16pm On Jul 12, 2013 |
Ishilove: To whom it may concern; Nota Bene: (Excerpts are quoted exactly as typed. It was a IM chat, by the way)  |
| Re: Relationship Chess by DrummaBoy(m): 6:15pm On Aug 10, 2014 |
Wonderful read. |
| Re: Relationship Chess by nuwell(m): 6:33pm On Aug 10, 2014 |
DrummaBoy: Wonderful read. Thanks. |
| Re: Relationship Chess by Nobody: 9:01am On Aug 26, 2016 |
Permission to post this on my blog sir? |
| Re: Relationship Chess by nuwell(m): 10:07am On Aug 26, 2016 |
YBNR: It has already been published on mine. Would you still be comfortable re-publishing? |
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