₦airaland Forum

Why does the wrong person love me right? I just got back from a date with a friend who cares so much about me,at least I can say from his attitude and disposition.

He would have been the perfect boyfriend for a lady but not just for me. I don’t have any iota of feelings for him.

That would be okay enough just to reject him and move on right? But here I am crying my heart out because the person I care and have feelings for doesn’t even give a hoot about me. Okay maybe not entirely true but not like how I would have wanted or expected. Not getting all the attention or love from him and yet I really like him.

Why can’t the right man love me right?

Why can’t I love someone and he loves me in return? Why does it always have to be the reverse case most of the time. Is there something I’m not doing right?

You know when you are actually aging, people keep asking you, why are you single? are you chasing guys away? Is your standard too high? And you just can’t tell them.

I don’t like the guys who like me because truly I can’t even understand why I don’t like them and why I run after the ones who don’t. I think something is definitely wrong right? Or am I just too hard on myself? Why can’t I find a guy who will like me so much with same intensity?

These and more are the questions flooding my heart,I’m truly troubled.


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Unfortunately can't do anything about it.
Can't force yourself to fall in love

That's just the way it is *singing* I would advice you to go for the guy that loves you even though you do t love him and stop chasing after people that don't even look your side. with time you would see the point of it all

CrazyQuinn:
That's just the way it is *singing* I would advice you to go for the guy that loves you even though you do t love him and stop chasing after people that don't even look your side. with time you would see the point of it all

Point of it all? Please can you be more elaborate?

Just give urself a break.

deturla:
Point of it all? Please can you be more elaborate?

she might fall in love or find a quality in him that interest her

no be by force to date na

It all boils down to standard....lower ur standard and keep an open heart. Only then will u find someone who loves u as much as u love him/her.

vinneyville:
It all boils down to standard....lower ur standard and keep an open heart. Only then will u find someone who loves u as much as u love him/her.

Standard has always been reasonable. Not high at all ?

Pls dont marry whom u don't love .The rest of ur life in years is more than d time uv spent searching.just b lil patient ,find a hobby n b positive dont dwell so much on finding love. Love will definately find u

deturla:
Standard has always been reasonable. Not high at all ?

allow someone else to tell u dat... U can't say for sure till u hear it from several other pple

Go through your relationship check-list again
1. Preferred qualities
2. Essential qualities
Don't mix them up too much

vinneyville:
allow someone else to tell u dat... U can't say for sure till u hear it from several other pple

This is one of the reasons why I'm asking*

the weirdest thing that can happen to u in a relationship is loving a partner who doesn't love u back...as a girl,I wld advice u stick to d guy who loves u ooooo...biko,u can learn to love him in due tym..don't even make da mistake of forcing urself on a guy whom doesn't love u....jukwa ESE....

the weirdest thing that can happen to u in a relationship is loving a partner who doesn't love u back...as a girl,I wld advice u stick to d guy who loves u ooooo...biko,u can learn to love him in due tym..don't even make da mistake of forcing urself on a guy whom doesn't love u....jukwa ESE.....

diplomatvicky:
the weirdest thing that can happen to u in a relationship is loving a partner who doesn't love u back...as a girl,I wld advice u stick to d guy who loves u ooooo...biko,u can learn to love him in due tym..don't even make da mistake of forcing urself on a guy whom doesn't love u....jukwa ESE....

hmmn

*the heart will always want what it wants*

diplomatvicky:
the weirdest thing that can happen to u in a relationship is loving a partner who doesn't love u back...as a girl, I wld advice u stick to d guy who loves u ooooo ...biko,u can learn to love him in due tym..don't even make da mistake of forcing urself on a guy whom doesn't love u....jukwa ESE....

Please, do you have the gadget that detect when someone truly in love with another person

I just curious to know as per the @bold

favoured234:
Go through your relationship check-list again
1. Preferred qualities
2. Essential qualities
Don't mix them up too much

Can please elaborate more on these two qualities?

Emusan:
Can please elaborate more on these two qualities?

Yes oh

Emusan:
Can please elaborate more on these two qualities?

Okay let me give an example.
In a relationship check list you can have:
Essential: Above 6 feet, non smoker, little or no alcohol, educated, self dependent, patient, smart guy, he should appreciate me and place me above every other person, above average financially*, above average handsome*, a Nigerian.
Preferred: is just an unending list. Good sense of humor, crazily in love with me, six packs, smooth talker ........ continues

If your relationship goal is to make a happy home/marriage. The question is, do i need all these "essential qualities" to make a happy home? You will just realize that some of those essential qualities should leave that position.

People will say "lower your standards" but its not about standards, its about knowing what you really need for fulfillment

favoured234:
Okay let me give an example.
In a relationship check list you can have:
Essential: Above 6 feet, non smoker, little or no alcohol, educated, self dependent, patient, smart guy, he should appreciate me and place me above every other person, above average financially*, above average handsome*, a Nigerian.
Preferred: is just an unending list. Good sense of humor, crazily in love with me, six packs, smooth talker ........ continues

If your relationship goal is to make a happy home/marriage. The question is, do i need all these "essential qualities" to make a happy home? You will just realize that some of those essential qualities should leave that position.

People will say "lower your standards" but its not about standards, its about knowing what you really need for fulfillment

diplomatvicky:
the weirdest thing that can happen to u in a relationship is loving a partner who doesn't love u back...as a girl,I wld advice u stick to d guy who loves u ooooo...biko,u can learn to love him in due tym..don't even make da mistake of forcing urself on a guy whom doesn't love u....jukwa ESE....

But she can force herself on the guy she doesn't love abi

favoured234:
Okay let me give an example.
In a relationship check list you can have:
Essential: Above 6 feet, non smoker, little or no alcohol, educated, self dependent, patient, smart guy, he should appreciate me and place me above every other person, above average financially*, above average handsome*, a Nigerian.
Preferred: is just an unending list. Good sense of humor, crazily in love with me, six packs, smooth talker ........ continues

If your relationship goal is to make a happy home/marriage. The question is, do i need all these "essential qualities" to make a happy home? You will just realize that some of those essential qualities should leave that position.

People will say "lower your standards" but its not about standards, its about knowing what you really need for fulfillment

OK!
But what I'm trying to decipher is how to relate the OP with your previous post when you said "Don't mix these two (essential & Preferred) together"

But with this, I know where you're coming from and of course no one goes into a relationship without having something in mind i.e essential needs but I must tell you that those essential needs contribute to the happy home.

Aderola15:
But she can force herself on the guy she doesn't love abi

I can see that you didn't get her point

Besides, this your question sounds strange can you explain further?

Emusan:
I can see that you didn't get her point
Besides, this your question sounds strange can you explain further?

how about you explain her point to me

Emusan:
OK!
But what I'm trying to decipher is how to relate the OP with your previous post when you said "Don't mix these two (essential & Preferred) together"

But with this, I know where you're coming from and of course no one goes into a relationship without having something in mind i.e essential needs but I must tell you that those essential needs contribute to the happy home.

If you have a strong unrealistic essential list, you will end up chasing shadows in the name of love ( the guy with the long list of essential possibly have someone nurturing it before now)
Drop some essentials and you will love the average human being and that average human will love you right

BTW unrealistic essential does not contribute to a happy home

Aderola15:
how about you explain her point to me

To me her point is very clear only that I couldn't phantom your own point because I don't know how a girl won't love a guy and still go ahead FORCING herself on him.

favoured234:
If you have a strong unrealistic essential list, you will end up chasing shadows in the name of love ( the guy with the long list of essential possibly have someone nurturing it before now)

The "...unrealistic..." in your statement made me to disagree a little because we all know that human always choose the best for themselves.

Drop some essentials and you will love the average human being and that average human will love you right

I'd rather say, love average human in a natural way and average human will love you right.

BTW unrealistic essential does not contribute to a happy home

This "...Unrealistic..." wasn't still clear by me, do you mean some people PURPOSELY decided to choose what they know it will never come through? Because last time I checked, human tend to choose the best for themselves.

Emusan:
To me her point is very clear only that I couldn't phantom your own point because I don't know how a girl won't love a guy and still go ahead FORCING herself on him.

Her point is for the girl to go into a relationship with the guy hoping she's gonna love him along the line. What if she doesn't eventually? Or what if she starts the relationship with the guy, few months later the feelings still won't come but she finds someone else whom she loves and he loves her back. what happens to the one sided love relationship?

Emusan:
Because last time I checked, human tend to choose the best for themselves.

I beg I half tayed

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http://deedeesblog.com/2016/08/26/excitement-comes-love-gone/

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