First and foremost this thread is likely going to be long. Please exercise some patience in reading thru. I am sure you will find it educative if not interesting.

Secondly, this thread is written in reaction to Toks2008 thread on Conditional/Unconditional Love. I would like to address two salients issues from the thread.

1. Is Conditional Love appropriate
2. Why can't we (human beings) love the way God does (unconditionally).

Let me start my answer from the second issue...My answer is simply: Please don't be a learner. We are not God, hence it near impossible to love like God. We can only aspire to love like God (unconditionally). The more more we aspire to love like that less we need the other person to have a good love life and the more we become better at loving people. God's kind of Love (unconditional love) is the standard/epitome for love. Hence it is good to have aspiration to achieve that. The aspiration and sheer effort at improving will make us better lovers. But in reality, several factors will keep limiting our ability to love unconditionally. Some of which includes:

1. Capacity: Human beings are limited in capacity (such as knowledge, power etc). Unlike God who is All-knowing, Almighty and Everywhere (even in the heart of the person He is dealing with). Let's not even go far. The Love between earthly Father and His Child is a pure case of unconditional love - Clearly one sided. The reason is not far fetch, the child(baby) have no capacity to give in return for the father's love. All the father can get is more bills and heighten responsibility. Mind you the father is not complaining because he doesn't need the child's contribution. He doesn't need sex, money, companionship etc from the child. If he need all these he knows where to get.

Weakness: Second factor is our weakness as human beings. Many people crash with their love under so much pains. That is why a Loving mother who carried her baby in the womb for 9months can take desert her baby and take to their heels in the face of pain and disaster. Only strong people knows how to love because love is more of Expression than Intention. A Physically Stronger or Financially more bouyant person will seem more loving than the weaker counter-part simply Real Love is denomination in ACTIONS and not WORDS. WHEN YOU SAY I LOVE YOU, DO YOU BACK IT UP WITH ACTIONS. If not my dear you need to talkless and do more. You need to work on your weakness and improve your capacity. The more capacity you have, the stronger you become and better you become at loving people. If anyone desert you in time of pain or you trouble please don't hold it against. They are weak and weak people cant express true love. A mother who desert her child instead of defending the child's life in the hazard really wish she can act other. But then she can't go through the pain to defend the child's life. She needs to be stronger to be able to that. That is why the story of Jesus dying on the cross will resonate very with Love any time anyday. Sacrifice is the highest show of Love and the highest sacrifice you can pay is to lay down your life. And you think it's easy to pay the price. Go and find out who are truely in Love and not those players who only know what to say or do or have the means to make you believe that they Love you. Now question for you who is castigating others for not showing unconditional love - Can you die for the person you claim you love or even fight hoodlums to defend your wife/gf in the face of sexual harassment. If your answer is No, please focus on yourself and leave the other person alone. Go build your strength. It applies to ladies too. Make yourself strong for the man you will choose to love.

3. Maturity: Our level of knowledge is also a big factor to consider. What we know affects how we think and that influence how we act. So before cry fowl about your love transaction with the other person, have you considered the person's level of maturity and understanding of lives issues. Until you do this you will always set yourself up for heartbreak. And you can't blame, you will have to take responsibility for what happens to you.

Experience: What people have been through is also a big factor. If we relate with people without paying attention to what they have been through in this life then we get the shocker of our life. What people have experienced will shape their future and that experience will always interfer with their reasoning and actions today. This is the reason we should never take disappoints to heart. No matter how painful it is, it's better to let it go. If we hold on to hurts, we will use those negative emotions from one person to destroy a possibly sweet relationship with another person who could have brougt us joy and help us forget the hurts. Only someone who has the capacity of God will be able to help us in this kind of situation.

Perspective to Life: This is another big factor wrecking love life today. People have problems today because they are wrongly matched with their partner. They don't have similar definition of love nor share similar priority. Hence there is no spark between them. Nothing to fire up there love when it's cold and nose diving.

Having said this, it is noble to aspire to unconditional love. This is because the science of improvement encourages that we benchmark our action/practice against a standard. The more we work towards that standard, the more we improve. However, that should be a person resolve. We can't force our personal decision on others. If others have not gotten to that point in their live where they need to practice unconditional please respect there decision and move on until you find someone who have the same aspirations as you.

To be continued....

DeLioncourt:
this is so long... i go read am later

Try!!!

This is a lovely post
Nice one

wonderful piece of advicel

What are you,love expert

Fūcking nice

Greatzeus:
What are you,love expert

Expert ke....Love transaction is like Driving. There is no Expert anywhere.

lilyqueen:
This is a lovely post

Nice one

Great you find it great. Watch out for the continuation...

Nice post!