₦airaland Forum

Xensity:
The issue of choice is a rather different ball game entirely, and doesn't really feed into this. How we perceive ourselves isn't actually an independent, conscious, well contemplated decision we arrive at. Most times, this perception is a precise product of conditioning. Studies have shown that self perception is heavily a product of conditioning. Most females don't decide to see themselves as trophies, they are conditioned by society to see themselves as trophies. And statements like Bolaji's, which usually go unexamined and exciorated, help nourish this negative conditioning.

Decker

DozieInc:
there is some truth in what she said, but, should been poor stop someone from pursuing a relationship with the opposite sex?? My answer is NO, I believe some things in life dont follow a particular sequence.

I know a man that married poor, infact rice with palm oil was a regular meal, but that was more than 15yrs ago, today the man gives out cars like its nothing, now what would your advice to that man 15yrs back ?? to chase money first??

I would like to agree but disagree. it took the man 15 years after marriage to make money, right?
The thing is, when you are young and you have access to good people with relevant information, you'd get rich fast. let's say you are 26 and you have a girl that cares less about your present but believes the future will be good. then, she gets pregnant then you become a daddy. Now, at this stage, you start thinking about your family- what do eat, how they eat what they eat, school fees etc (the money you are spending at the stage should be used for your development- MBA, sole business, partnership etc.
When your guys that are single and hustling smart are thinking of investment and probable return, you will be thinking about your wife, your child and food.

JeffreyJamez:
100% correct.

hi, sent you a PM. Hope your email is active.

Please answer as soon as you can. Thanks

safarigirl:
She's right. Nothing annoys me more than seeing a young, struggling man looking to set up relationships with women

As far as i'm concerned, women are a distraction you simply don't need until you're mature in mind and finance. This means that men without stable income and small boys should stay away from women.

So, in addition to not being financially stable, if you're not at least old enough to take alcohol in every country of the world, even if you're a rich boy, you shouldn't be in a committed relationship because more often than not, small boys suck at money management and most girls following those small boys are gold diggers (cc Alex Iwobi and the albino he's dating )

Thanks for finally agreeing that the only thing a Nigerian Lady cares about is your financial income.

JeffreyJamez:
What do you mean by conditioned to see themselves as trophies?... I believe everyone has a choice to make, you can decide to go with or against societies "conditioning".
The statement from the actress is not only reasonable but logical. If you feel as a guy you have potentials to be great, that your goal, instead of chasing girls upandan and counting sexcapades... That's what I believe she meant by that statement.

When someone is perceptively conditioned, it means the persons perception is primarily influenced and informed, by certain factors that are outside of the individuals own self.
And on the issue of conditioning and how it informs a female's perception of herself as a trophy, it means that certain factors, which are products of society, have circumscribed her perception of herself to the extent that she sees herself as a trophy to be searched out and won by a wealthy man. An example of these societal factors are common narratives, such as the one made by Bolaji - Narratives that are promulgated and proliferated through mediums like social media, and are constantly fed to women and young girls, which invariably alters their perception of themselves.
If the common narrative being disseminated on social media, is that all men should work hard and get rich so they can find a proper woman to make a wife, then it won't be long before many young women, especially the impressionable ones, begin to subscribe to this view, and begin to perceive themselves as just rewards for men to acquire once they acquire financial success.

Most of our views and how we perceive ourselves and our environment, are all a product of conditioning, and we didn't "consciously choose" to have these views.

I am not entirely against the premise of her post. But I not just comfortable with the statement she uttered, which I quoted. A preponderance of statements like that, is potentially damaging.

safarigirl:
hi, sent you a PM. Hope your email is active.

Please answer as soon as you can. Thanks

Replied.

truthsayer007:
Thanks for finally agreeing that the only thing a Nigerian Lady cares about is your financial income.

why don't you go and marry the foreign one that will marry your struggling ass only to slam you with divorce when you're rich.

When you start paying child support through your anus, you'll look for a Nigerian lady


See who pesin wan help. If a Nigerian woman marries you, she will sit in that house and endure your philandering ways and childish demands. You think a foreign woman will tolerate half the crap Nigerian women put up with?

I want to be with a comfortable man who won't need me to continually assure him that I have no plans to leave him for a rich man. I don't even want a rich man, just someone who isn't dead broke, stop trying to make women feel guilty for not wanting someone who may or may not reach his potential. It's a choice

BTW, Ignorance is when you wrap everyone with one cloak, I am not the spokesperson for Nigerian women, so don't say 'Nigerian women'....even struggling vulcanizers get married everyday

safarigirl:
She's right. Nothing annoys me more than seeing a young, struggling man looking to set up relationships with women

As far as i'm concerned, women are a distraction you simply don't need until you're mature in mind and finance. This means that men without stable income and small boys should stay away from women.

So, in addition to not being financially stable, if you're not at least old enough to take alcohol in every country of the world, even if you're a rich boy, you shouldn't be in a committed relationship because more often than not, small boys suck at money management and most girls following those small boys are gold diggers (cc Alex Iwobi and the albino he's dating )

Well said!!

safarigirl:
why don't you go and marry the foreign one that will marry your struggling ass only to slam you with divorce when you're rich.

When you start paying child support through your anus, you'll look for a Nigerian lady


See who pesin wan help. If a Nigerian woman marries you, she will sit in that house and endure your philandering ways and childish demands. You think a foreign woman will tolerate half the crap Nigerian women put up with?

I want to be with a comfortable man who won't need me to continually assure him that I have no plans to leave him for a rich man. I don't even want a rich man, just someone who isn't dead broke, stop trying to make women feel guilty for not wanting someone who may or may not reach his potential. It's a choice

BTW, Ignorance is when you wrap everyone with one cloak, I am not the spokesperson for Nigerian women, so don't say 'Nigerian women'....even struggling vulcanizers get married everyday

Thanks for this comment. The bolded got me smiling. My suffering will pay off good some day soon.

JeffreyJamez:
Replied.

thanks

safarigirl:
thanks

You're welcome

safarigirl:
thanks

Na wa o! Why are you toasting this guy on my thread?

kayo80:
Na wa o! Why are you toasting this guy on my thread?

lol, toast ke? I don't do online toasting mbok

safarigirl:
why don't you go and marry the foreign one that will marry your struggling ass only to slam you with divorce when you're rich.

When you start paying child support through your anus, you'll look for a Nigerian lady

See who pesin wan help. If a Nigerian woman marries you, she will sit in that house and endure your philandering ways and childish demands. You think a foreign woman will tolerate half the crap Nigerian women put up with?

I want to be with a comfortable man who won't need me to continually assure him that I have no plans to leave him for a rich man. I don't even want a rich man, just someone who isn't dead broke, stop trying to make women feel guilty for not wanting someone who may or may not reach his potential. It's a choice

BTW, Ignorance is when you wrap everyone with one cloak, I am not the spokesperson for Nigerian women, so don't say 'Nigerian women'....even struggling vulcanizers get married everyday

Well, if i choose to marry a foreign woman. That is my cross to bear, but that is not the point of discussion here.

Fact is most Nigeria women (Not all) see Relationship or Marriage as a way out of poverty, they simply believe its the responsibility of the Guy to take care of all their needs, even to the smallest needs, like they have no parents. (And that is not to say Women shouldn't expect some financial help in a relationship, but not totally depending on the man)

Also, they start to compare the achievements of their friend's spouse, or how big their wedding was. or how he just bought her a new car, or how they just rented a new house in Lekki etc. Instead of being patient & planning out their lives together.

Some women don't even care what you do for a living as long as the money keeps coming in.

safarigirl:
lol, toast ke? I don't do online toasting mbok

Okay. You only do offline toasting? That's good.

truthsayer007:
Well, if i choose to marry a foreign woman. That is my cross to bear, but that is not the point of discussion here.

Fact is most Nigeria women (Not all) see Relationship or Marriage as a way out of poverty, they simply believe its the responsibility of the Guy to take care of all their needs, even to the smallest needs, like they have no parents. (And that is not to say Women shouldn't expect some financial help in a relationship, but not totally depending on the man)

Also, they start to compare the achievements of their friend's spouse, or how big their wedding was. or how he just bought her a new car, or how they just rented a new house in Lekki etc. Instead of being patient & planning out their lives together.

Some women don't even care what you do for a living as long as the money keeps coming in.

most Nigerian men want a woman who looks like Kim K, how many times do the women make an issue out of that? It's a choice, if you don't meet up with the standard, keep moving, no need to attack people simply because they exercised a basic human right

Are there no women marrying vulcanizers just as there are those marrying engineers? The percentage of BellaNaija style weddings is 20% at most, most Nigerian women, contrary to your claims marry average guys. The type of women you speak of are much fewer than you're projecting.


Everyday on social media, guys attack women for physical features they can't change, they mock women because they have small boobs, a big tummy, a flat ass, stretch marks etc, while they drool over the girls with ikebe and bobby, do you see us coming online to attack such men?


Why is it then an issue if women choose to do the SAME thing men do in a different way? Are we not all superficial beings more concerned with the flashy things than with the things that really matter? Does having a nice backside make one a better person? Does having a few millions make you compassionate? Do the men also realise that the size of a woman's bra does not equate to the size of her heart or should it only be women who should know that a deep pocket doesn't mean a deep mind?

I need to understand the reason Nigerian women get flack for doing the SAME thing our men do. Or does having a dick give you a free pass?

kayo80:
Okay. You only do offline toasting? That's good.

I only express interest in those I can see in the physical.

safarigirl:
most Nigerian men want a woman who looks like Kim K, how many times do the women make an issue out of that? It's a choice, if you don't meet up with the standard, keep moving, no need to attack people simply because they exercised a basic human right

Are there no women marrying vulcanizers just as there are those marrying engineers? The percentage of BellaNaija style weddings is 20% at most, most Nigerian women, contrary to your claims marry average guys. The type of women you speak of are much fewer than you're projecting.


Everyday on social media, guys attack women for physical features they can't change, they mock women because they have small boobs, a big tummy, a flat ass, stretch marks etc, while they drool over the girls with ikebe and bobby, do you see us coming online to attack such men?


Why is it then an issue if women choose to do the SAME thing men do in a different way? Are we not all superficial beings more concerned with the flashy things than with the things that really matter? Does having a nice backside make one a better person? Does having a few millions make you compassionate? Do the men also realise that the size of a woman's bra does not equate to the size of her heart or should it only be women who should know that a deep pocket doesn't mean a deep mind?

I need to understand the reason Nigerian women get flack for doing the SAME thing our men do. Or does having a dick give you a free pass?

You made some good points, but its not a matter of standard. Stop defending this type of mentality that women are suppose to think this way.

Am not even arguing that Men droll over women for physical features. But that doesn't mean its right.

FYI, just because Men droll over girls over the girls with ikebe and bobby, doesn't mean they want to have them as a wife. its for temporary pleasure. A girl for the bed is different from a girl for the Alter. Those are 2 different things entirely.

so wat do ladies equally av go acquire in life to b Tagged fit 4 a relationship?

Truth is not everybody will have money at the same time or at early stage in life. No man or even woman respect a woman who is into him because he now has money. Such ideology is so warped and only deluded ladies and guys believe in such rubbish. If that's the case where do you place the saying "don't despise your days of little beginning" ?

truthsayer007:
Fact is most Nigeria women (Not all) see Relationship or Marriage as a way out of poverty

If this is a fact.... name ONE country where the same wouldn't be true. If you can't. .. then why single out Nigerian women? You talk as if most Nigerian women are poor and most men are rich.... so the women need to jump into relationships to get out of poverty. I salute guys like you... burning the bridge before you even begin to cross it.
@topic.... I agree 100% with that statement. If I am poor.. finding a girlfriend should not be a priority over finding money at this time.

Originalsly:
If this is a fact.... name ONE country where the same wouldn't be true. If you can't. .. then why single out Nigerian women? You talk as if most Nigerian women are poor and most men are rich.... so the women need to jump into relationships to get out of poverty. I salute guys like you... burning the bridge before you even begin to cross it.
@topic.... I agree 100% with that statement. If I am poor.. finding a girlfriend should not be a priority over finding money at this time.

See as you are jumping into conclusions, i was replying the statement safarigirl said, not that i was disagreeing with the post totally.

So then you ignore the other things i said in the same post. you just want to be dramatic. Lol

truthsayer007:
You made some good points, but its not a matter of standard. Stop defending this type of mentality that women are suppose to think this way.

Am not even arguing that Men droll over women for physical features. But that doesn't mean its right.

FYI, just because Men droll over girls over the girls with ikebe and bobby, doesn't mean they want to have them as a wife. its for temporary pleasure. A girl for the bed is different from a girl for the Alter. Those are 2 different things entirely.

And how many women end up marrying the rich men?

A guy who likes ikebe and boobs will not suddenly marry a skinny woman or someone who doesn't possess his preferred features just because, and men who do that more often than not, end up cheating on their wives with their preferred choice of women.

Is it not better to marry what you like than to go for someone you don't fancy? Oga, would you give your daughter out to a poor man because he looks like he has a future?

It's a matter of choice, that's not a defence, it's a FACT. I personally would rather not marry a rich man, as long as he has stable income, I'm fine, money will come with time, but I won't slate women who want a rich guy, why? Because even as I don't want a rich guy, I also won't marry a short man, no matter how rich he is. It's a choice thing, you cannot force your beliefs or standards on everyone else and you surely can't tell them what is right or wrong, I bet you have some beliefs lots of people will fault

safarigirl:
I only express interest in those I can see in the physical.

Cool.

safarigirl:
And how many women end up marrying the rich men?

A guy who likes ikebe and boobs will not suddenly marry a skinny woman or someone who doesn't possess his preferred features just because, and men who do that more often than not, end up cheating on their wives with their preferred choice of women.

Is it not better to marry what you like than to go for someone you don't fancy? Oga, would you give your daughter out to a poor man because he looks like he has a future?

It's a matter of choice, that's not a defence, it's a FACT. I personally would rather not marry a rich man, as long as he has stable income, I'm fine, money will come with time, but I won't slate women who want a rich guy, why? Because even as I don't want a rich guy, I also won't marry a short man, no matter how rich he is. It's a choice thing, you cannot force your beliefs or standards on everyone else and you surely can't tell them what is right or wrong, I bet you have some beliefs lots of people will fault

Cool point. At the end of the day, both men and women are selfish. Most men want girls with big boobs and ass like Kim Kardashian and want her to also be able to take care of the house, and most women want a guy than can take care of their financial needs over any other thing. It's all good. All I have to do now is make money, Bleep all the girls that my wealth attracts, and then settle down with the one I truly love. Okay, that's cool by me. This is a lovely world. I love this. Now, off to make that money.