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I am 21 And My BF 24 Proposed; I Feel That I'm Too Young And It's Too Soon - Romance (3) - Nairaland

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Re: I am 21 And My BF 24 Proposed; I Feel That I'm Too Young And It's Too Soon by Nobody: 11:08pm On Sep 27, 2016
classicB:

I suppose you are extrovert, cos for an introvert like me, what do I want to see in the world? Travel places? I'd rather watch moviesgrin See the world in what context? I don't mind getting married at 21 as long as I am a successful woman that doesn't need to depend on my husband. I have always pictured myself getting married young, nurturing my kids and have a full blown time for my career afterwards wink My point is, the OP might not need to leave him, I don't think he wanna tie u down, he loves u enough for only himself, I have worked enough with guys, and I can say that only a crazy in love guy would do that. Just spend more time together and postpone getting married. There are wolves out there while u try to see the world o

Exactly, people usually compare everyone to themselves. She kept mentioning see the world lol. That might mean a lot of things (Like a lot of dirty immoral things). But let me just stop here.

1 Like

Re: I am 21 And My BF 24 Proposed; I Feel That I'm Too Young And It's Too Soon by dharay99: 11:09pm On Sep 27, 2016
Am not here to comment buh jez to look,
0p, hmm....hmm 0hk.
Re: I am 21 And My BF 24 Proposed; I Feel That I'm Too Young And It's Too Soon by Nobody: 11:10pm On Sep 27, 2016
Trudiee:


lol lady, you're funny.

but no, I'm actually a big introvert. the context i mean about seeing the world is meeting a wide range of people. then she l have better choices.

you can't sit at home watching tv n reading novels then decide to get married cuz u have a job. like.. your thinkin is kinda 'myopic' in a sense.. guarded.. safe.. kinda secluded.

content with the piece of bread you're handed kinda. yea.

but you see.. a lot of women that married early tend to wish they didnt. i know a lot.. trust me and they don't like it.
Marrying later doesn't mean you are happy either. As long as you find the right partner. That to me is the real deal. Some people that married later married the wrong person due to desperation or pressure, but as young lovers, I perceive sincerarity. You think she would cheat cos she's young? How will getting old bfr marriage prevent her from cheating? Check your first post

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Re: I am 21 And My BF 24 Proposed; I Feel That I'm Too Young And It's Too Soon by Nobody: 11:13pm On Sep 27, 2016
classicB:

That she agree to accept his proposal at 21 doesn't mean she will marry at 21. Some guys are sincerely crazy about getting married early without no pun intended. Where are the better guys? In the club? Banks? I guess oil companies too. I have a friend that is going places and enjoying life too but it makes no much sense to me. In the real sense it doesn't work. These guys they are enjoying life with are nothing other than hearbreakers. You might still be young, but you can nature your relationship till you're sure it's the time. There's no fun in "enjoying the world" if I get your context right, guys would use and dump u. Who says u can't travel to places as a married woman? Why am I carrying ur matter for head angry seems to me that the guy is sincere and I don't want a sis to be lost among the demons kiss
I don't doubt his sincerity but op is not ready .and i don't think the man will wait until she is ,it may take years before she is.
~~
To accept his proposal is to string him along
She can turn it down and they can continue dating, enjoying the relationship for what it is as long as it shall last .

1 Like

Re: I am 21 And My BF 24 Proposed; I Feel That I'm Too Young And It's Too Soon by braine(m): 11:17pm On Sep 27, 2016
whyx06:


Used ur drug biko...


Learn how to write correct English before you quote me next time.
Re: I am 21 And My BF 24 Proposed; I Feel That I'm Too Young And It's Too Soon by Nobody: 11:18pm On Sep 27, 2016
KingCheezyPuff:
I don't doubt his sincerity but op is not ready .and i don'tthink the man will wait until she is ,it maje take years before she is.
~~
To accept his proposalis to string him along.
She can turn it down and they can continue dating, enjoying the relationshipfor what it is as long as it shall last .
I reason with her staying in the relationship other than thinking there are better boos out there grin both of them should try and build themselves up financially and emotionally. Mama knows best also wink
Re: I am 21 And My BF 24 Proposed; I Feel That I'm Too Young And It's Too Soon by Trudiee(f): 11:21pm On Sep 27, 2016
classicB:

Marrying later doesn't mean you are happy either. As long as you find the right partner. That to me is the real deal. Some people that married later married the wrong person due to desperation or pressure, but as young lovers, I perceive sincerarity. You think she would cheat cos she's young? How will getting old bfr marriage prevent her from cheating? Check your first post

yea as long as you find the right partner and at the right time for you. if they married out of desperation then its unfortunate. they saw others getting married and felt left out.

think of a lady getting married at 18.. realising she wasn't emotionally ready for the responsibilities that come with marriage. she looks on at others.. her mates young, fresh out of school. what would run thru her mind?

anyone can cheat. depends on WHY you're cheating

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Re: I am 21 And My BF 24 Proposed; I Feel That I'm Too Young And It's Too Soon by Nobody: 11:26pm On Sep 27, 2016
classicB:

I reason with her staying in the relationship other than thinking there are better boos out there grin both of them should try and build themselves up financially and emotionally. Mama knows best also wink
when she turns him down he may not want 2 continue
And eh ..there are more good men,marriage minded and not out there,she doesn't have 2 cleave to this 1 .

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Re: I am 21 And My BF 24 Proposed; I Feel That I'm Too Young And It's Too Soon by Nobody: 11:28pm On Sep 27, 2016
KingCheezyPuff:
when she turns him down he may not want 2 continue
And eh ..there are more good men,marriage minded and not out there,she doesn't have 2 cleave to this 1 .
That's true
Re: I am 21 And My BF 24 Proposed; I Feel That I'm Too Young And It's Too Soon by Nobody: 11:32pm On Sep 27, 2016
dharay99:
Am not here to comment buh jez to look,
0p, hmm....hmm 0hk.
mod locked mzzzErica's thread earlier 2day.
Re: I am 21 And My BF 24 Proposed; I Feel That I'm Too Young And It's Too Soon by fetrillion(m): 11:39pm On Sep 27, 2016
kelval:
Dear miss tolulope93 this will be my first sincere comment since i join this forum and its all because you said you are 21.. i bet you dont know all those married folks are just sometimes fed up with marriage.. you really dont want to, as time goes by, you'd be meeting new cool guys, handsome guys and then what would you do? you'd wish you never run into marriage or you'd cheat then? dont dare accept a ring even at age 25 dear... those celebrities you see are not gvn their hand out, it aint as if they are foolish, this is a lifetime stuff so you really need to take your time dear and please dont accept a cuff for now.. please explore first.. and by the way you said you are just 21 and already working? how you take do am? even me self for 23 i never see work do? lol.. just kidding
see d foolish advice oooo from d pit of hell
my dear,some ladies here Will like to pull u down n discourage you simply bcs dey don't have d opportunity u have...You av a responsible guy dat wants to build a future with you ...both of you are financially capable,d love is intact.. pls dear,just pray about it n if you av d conviction he's d one.. then u are gud to go ooo

1 Like

Re: I am 21 And My BF 24 Proposed; I Feel That I'm Too Young And It's Too Soon by dharay99: 11:48pm On Sep 27, 2016
KingCheezyPuff:
mod locked mzzzErica's thread earlier 2day.
That's great...
Re: I am 21 And My BF 24 Proposed; I Feel That I'm Too Young And It's Too Soon by Nobody: 11:53pm On Sep 27, 2016
Tolulope95:
Hello Guys, There's this thing that has been bothering me i would love to share..

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a over a year, now this past Friday. On Friday we went on a night out with few friends... While gisting he got on one knee and asked me to marry him.

I was shocked; we hadn't discussed being engaged in the immediate future at all. When I didn't immediately scream "YES!" he deflated and asked me what was wrong, and in the most awkward conversation of my life, I had to tell him that I feel like I'm too young to get engaged and it's too soon in our relationship, even though I love him very much. He was understandably very depressed and told me that he'd decided he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and that he thought proposing in the presence of friends would be really romantic. I told him the truth, that I felt nowhere near ready or old enough to consider marriage to anyone yet. He took the ring back and we went back to his house, where I stayed over for the night at his insistence. I tried to have a better conversation about what had happened, but he told me that he didn't feel like talking about it and that I should just go to sleep.

Around 7 the next morning he shook me awake and started screaming at me, asking me the real reason why I wouldn't marry him: Did I want to "LovePeddler around" with a bunch of guys? Was he too short? He even asked me if I ever loved him and if that was why I turned him down.. I was pretty offended by everything he was suggesting. He called me soulless for crushing him like that, said that me saying no meant that I didn't love him. He has not talked or called me since then.

I do too love him; maybe in a couple years I would have said yes without hesitation. I get that I crushed him and I feel guilty.

It is Wise Enough to get early at a Young And Tender Age!!

No insults Pls.. Im a Graduate And i have a well paying Job *Cheers*
Sincerely, I think you made the right decision. You shouldn't go into marriage when you're not mentally ready,I find it funny that people on here are saying because you have a job and he's okay then the next thing is marriage. My sister life is not a timetable don't let anyone coerce you into what you will regret.

I'm not saying you should leave your boyfriend but you guys should get to know each other better and worse still should anything happen after now, a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. Alot of peeps on here talking about the nonsense that you might be 30+ before settling down are bunch of mofos who want other people's lives to be miserable like theirs,hence the quick generalization. Alot of married people are regretting it,marriage is a life time decision and I think you should take your time to decide what's best for you.

3 Likes

Re: I am 21 And My BF 24 Proposed; I Feel That I'm Too Young And It's Too Soon by Nobody: 11:55pm On Sep 27, 2016
dharay99:

That's great...
no
~~
Now to the why I quoted you
You have a ridiculous amount of monikers,1 of them you own v.icst.ar?
Re: I am 21 And My BF 24 Proposed; I Feel That I'm Too Young And It's Too Soon by doublestrika: 11:55pm On Sep 27, 2016
kelval:
Dear miss tolulope93 this will be my first sincere comment since i join this forum and its all because you said you are 21.. i bet you dont know all those married folks are just sometimes fed up with marriage.. you really dont want to, as time goes by, you'd be meeting new cool guys, handsome guys and then what would you do? you'd wish you never run into marriage or you'd cheat then? dont dare accept a ring even at age 25 dear... those celebrities you see are not gvn their hand out, it aint as if they are foolish, this is a lifetime stuff so you really need to take your time dear and please dont accept a cuff for now.. please explore first.. and by the way you said you are just 21 and already working? how you take do am? even me self for 23 i never see work do? lol.. just kidding
am sorry tho...don't mean to counter your opinion tho...BT please aw do u mean EXPLORE..
to d op..to me, such issue is not to be treated on a platform like diz... ppl ll gv u advc based on dre life experience, meanwhile our destinies r quite diff..think abt t..pray n if u reali love him drz no point toying wt someone who wants to b wt yhu...blv me these days..its reali hard to find guys DT r serious wt relationship in DAT age range.
Re: I am 21 And My BF 24 Proposed; I Feel That I'm Too Young And It's Too Soon by dharay99: 11:58pm On Sep 27, 2016
KingCheezyPuff:
no
~~
Now to the why I quoted you
You have a ridiculous amount of monikers,1 of them you own v.icst.ar?

Vicstar? that should be one of my protegès or wannabes
cuzz ionno that moniker. Why you ask...
Re: I am 21 And My BF 24 Proposed; I Feel That I'm Too Young And It's Too Soon by Nobody: 12:02am On Sep 28, 2016
dharay99:


Vic.star? that should be one of my protegès or wannabes
cuzz ionno that moniker. Why you ask...
should have known better,yer a clown and he aint. undecided
Re: I am 21 And My BF 24 Proposed; I Feel That I'm Too Young And It's Too Soon by HornyTiwa(f): 12:06am On Sep 28, 2016
Trudiee:


what's your point now. it worked for your school daughter at doesn't mean it will work for another person. she is doing quite well? don't be too sure of that. did she even complete school? before the teen marriage.

she z probably wishing she didn't get married when she did. she l smile when she sees you. that doesn't mean she's doing well. somebody that is entirely dependent on her husband.

maybe what you're referring to is the children. my dear, children are gifts from God and will come in God's time. stop fussing
This is the problem I have with busybodies.
That your opinion of what the OP should do differs from mine,does not make mine wrong or flawed.

Did I say anything about my school daughter not completing school/dependent? btw is schooling and independent the new measurement for marital bliss and happiness
Do you know my school daughter to suddenly make all the assumptions you just made? this is outrageous.
You just brought your self under my mentions amd jumped into conclusion,even overlooking where I typed "different strokes for different folks"?

And what is your definition of God's time? Is God's time when the OP is 30 or 60 years old?

I really tried to understand the dust you yarned there,there is no iota of sense in it

4 Likes

Re: I am 21 And My BF 24 Proposed; I Feel That I'm Too Young And It's Too Soon by dharay99: 12:07am On Sep 28, 2016
KingCheezyPuff:
should have known better,yer a clown and he aint. undecided
0h, cuzz he copied my color, font & style of posting?
good for you too...Have fun with the non-clown then.
Re: I am 21 And My BF 24 Proposed; I Feel That I'm Too Young And It's Too Soon by Nobody: 12:13am On Sep 28, 2016
dharay99:

0h, cuzz he copied my color, font & style of posting?
good for you too...Have fun with the non-clown then.
hmmm.... Yer a suspect...Bye
Re: I am 21 And My BF 24 Proposed; I Feel That I'm Too Young And It's Too Soon by ritababe(f): 1:02am On Sep 28, 2016
Trudiee:
my dear, don't listen to all these people telling you to get married to that guy.

okay look at it this way, what guy would sincerely want to marry at 24? like, from the bottom of their hearts, parents are not forcing them, they want to settle down, have kids, responsibility..

shine your eyes! its not genuine. some guys can do that. dont get me wrong. but your boyfriend! I'm sorry to say, he is definitely trying to lock u down babe. why would he insist you sleep over the night you say no to his marriage proposal? babe you get liver. you're lucky he didn't stab you in your sleep. some dudes can't take it when their ego is bruised.. especially in front of their friends.

now coming to you. you're 21, working. you got a bright future ahead of you. do you wanna start having a family now? 21 is too young my dear. travel. go places. you l find guys better than ur boo. then when youre married, you ll start cheating and become miserable??



my point is, see the world first. then agree to be locked down.. cuz that's the reality of life.. lol.

be sure that's what you wanna do. and you're pretty, don't listen to certain ppl saying you look old

@the bolded
is exactly why some girls are still single now, what makes you think there is a better man for her out there?
no guarantee, and from what she said the guy is caring and loving.
I don't understand some girls.

6 Likes

Re: I am 21 And My BF 24 Proposed; I Feel That I'm Too Young And It's Too Soon by ritababe(f): 1:07am On Sep 28, 2016
HornyTiwa:

Accepting his proposal does not mean you must marry him immediately,saying NO to him in the presence of his friends is the worst ego killing any man can cope with(I really pity him right now)
You've been dating him for a year and you don't think he will make a good husband,or you just consider yourself too young?
My school daughter married at 18,she is doing quite well 2 years after with a beautiful kid.

Well different strokes for different folks,but I don't really see the problem here.
Let him cool off and explain your point again,then assure him about your believe.

I just hope its not too late,he might end up proposing to your friend to spite you,yes some guys are crazy like that

you are quite right, and some girls here are saying explore the world first,what is there to exploit? what if after exploring she return back and found her dream man already married?.

3 Likes

Re: I am 21 And My BF 24 Proposed; I Feel That I'm Too Young And It's Too Soon by codexgigax: 1:11am On Sep 28, 2016
@OP Well, my little input is this: By being not ready, what do you mean exactly? Emotionally, Spiritually (if you are religious), Mentally (perhaps, you know little about what marriage is really all about). Marriage as I know it has to do with more than being a graduate with a well paying job (they are not less important though).

I will like to recommend a page I found out on facebook, its really going to help you in your decision making because ultimately, the decision to be engaged and married is entirely yours. I would have copied and pasted the fb page content here, but its quite a long one, so do well to check it out.

The fb page is : RHEMALOGOS INTERNATIONAL, NIGERIA. *[Just check out their recent write ups].
Re: I am 21 And My BF 24 Proposed; I Feel That I'm Too Young And It's Too Soon by Nobody: 1:46am On Sep 28, 2016
braine:


Shoes of rejected proposal? Huh?
grin grin grin
Re: I am 21 And My BF 24 Proposed; I Feel That I'm Too Young And It's Too Soon by An0nimus: 1:55am On Sep 28, 2016
Tolu you did a very brave thing and I commend you for it. You didn't allow anybody manipulate you into accepting something you didn't carefully think through. There's nothing like saying yes because he was with his friends. The whole setup looked like it was arranged to coerce you to agree to his proposal. His actions afterwards betrayed his true intentions.

If you had said yes and things later went sour, people will still stay stuff like you should have waited.

You're pretty young and doing good so there's still a whole lot of people to meet and things to achieve. Bless.

3 Likes

Re: I am 21 And My BF 24 Proposed; I Feel That I'm Too Young And It's Too Soon by Tolulope95(f): 7:28am On Sep 28, 2016
codexgigax:
@OP Well, my little input is this: By being not ready, what do you mean exactly? Emotionally, Spiritually (if you are religious), Mentally (perhaps, you know little about what marriage is really all about). Marriage as I know it has to do with more than being a graduate with a well paying job (they are not less important though).

I will like to recommend a page I found out on facebook, its really going to help you in your decision making because ultimately, the decision to be engaged and married is entirely yours. I would have copied and pasted the fb page content here, but its quite a long one, so do well to check it out.

The fb page is : RHEMALOGOS INTERNATIONAL, NIGERIA. *[Just check out their recent write ups].


Thanks..Will look it up
Re: I am 21 And My BF 24 Proposed; I Feel That I'm Too Young And It's Too Soon by Jangbajantis: 7:50am On Sep 28, 2016
Tolulope95:


Yes.. he is quite comfortable from a well to do family background.. I think he is only trying to cage me with the proposal or something
MTCHEEW

3 Likes

Re: I am 21 And My BF 24 Proposed; I Feel That I'm Too Young And It's Too Soon by waywardpikin: 9:02am On Sep 28, 2016
The fact of the matter is OP thinks she's too good for her boyfriend. If you loved him you would have screamed YES without even thinking twice, irrespective of age. You think a young guy who doesn't really love you would propose? Na FineGeh syndrome dey worry you, smallie...

Go ye into the world and distribute your tohtoh. I know that's what's itching you last last.
Re: I am 21 And My BF 24 Proposed; I Feel That I'm Too Young And It's Too Soon by waywardpikin: 9:03am On Sep 28, 2016
truthsayer007:


Exactly, people usually compare everyone to themselves. She kept mentioning see the world lol. That might mean a lot of things (Like a lot of dirty immoral things). But let me just stop here.

Not might, that's exactly what it comes down to. Leave plenty grammar. We know her type.
Re: I am 21 And My BF 24 Proposed; I Feel That I'm Too Young And It's Too Soon by waywardpikin: 9:09am On Sep 28, 2016
Jangbajantis:

Yes, he wants to cage you so you can't enjoy your youth to the fullest. You still have a lot of years ahead of you, so why the rush? undecided
Or you want to be a mother at this age while your mates are still wearing mini skirts, bikinis, clubbing till daybreak and fucking different men?

What a selfish guy!


Kindly tell him to give you more time, say till you're 30 to 35, before the marriage proposal.
You must enjoy yourself o!

Great advice bro, that guy is so selfish!

1 Like

Re: I am 21 And My BF 24 Proposed; I Feel That I'm Too Young And It's Too Soon by Trudiee(f): 10:39am On Sep 28, 2016
ritababe:


@the bolded
is exactly why some girls are still single now, what makes you think there is a better man for her out there?
no guarantee, and from what she said the guy is caring and loving.
I don't understand some girls.

i don't understand some girls too. let's face it. you're dating an awesome guy. he loves you and you love him. you're in a commited relationship. but then as time goes on, you meet new people, exciting, sophisticated people. some might even treat u better than your boyfriend does. but as a loyal girlfriend, you understand that love is not just about that. its about commitment.

so you stick to him. the fact that u chose to stick to him doesn't mean there aren't better guys. everyone has flaws. understand the point first bae

1 Like

Re: I am 21 And My BF 24 Proposed; I Feel That I'm Too Young And It's Too Soon by Trudiee(f): 10:42am On Sep 28, 2016
HornyTiwa:

This is the problem I have with busybodies.
That your opinion of what the OP should do differs from mine,does not make mine wrong or flawed.

Did I say anything about my school daughter not completing school/dependent? btw is schooling and independent the new measurement for marital bliss and happiness
Do you know my school daughter to suddenly make all the assumptions you just made? this is outrageous.
You just brought your self under my mentions amd jumped into conclusion,even overlooking where I typed "different strokes for different folks"?

And what is your definition of God's time? Is God's time when the OP is 30 or 60 years old?

I really tried to understand the dust you yarned there,there is no iota of sense in it

then don't understand it. just tell yourself the sad truth my dear. different strokes for different folks yea. that's the only sense you made here

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