₦airaland Forum

ammyluv2002:
Yes! It does make sense, but wives should submit fully to their husbands according to the bible principles. My husband cannot tell me to sleep with his friend & you expect me to submit fully

masonkz:
Submit to the husband ko. They should both submit to each other.

Using my parents as example, my mama no dey gree o She can be VERY stubborn once she knows she's right. My dad already knows this nature of hers and would wilfully concede to her point of view in order to reach a compromise. They both understand each other that way.

Heck, sometimes she would scream her displeasure on something wrong she feels my dad did. In that instant the guy go just keep quiet, cos he knows him also shouting would solve nothing.

Same thing applies when he is also angry.


The marriage has lasted for almost 30 years...


I do know that matriages can differ, but my point here is, submission can go both ways. Wetin sef.

yinkslinks:
must u bring stupity to it? rubbish

ammyluv2002:
Yes! It does make sense, but wives should submit fully to their husbands according to the bible principles. My husband cannot tell me to sleep with his friend & you expect me to submit fully

Toks2008:
Bro I'm so unfettered with negative comments and anytime I respond to one I just do that to correct the poster.

The truth us that I have no business with nairaland asides my passion for freelance writing on romance, religion and politics.

I know what marriage looks and feels like and the best I can do is share my knowledge and experience here and it is the choice of people to contribute or ignore rather than slander or make derogatory remarks.

No hard feelings watsoever. I'm a lover not a fighter.

Pyramid1212:
. Mugu how will ur husband ask u to sleep with his dirty frnd

Toks2008:
GOD commands the man to love the wife and the wife to submit to the husband. Refusal to do this is rebellion against GOD himself.By loving your wife you are honoring GOD and not doing your wife a favor and by submitting to your husband, you are demonstrating an act of obedience to GOD and not to your husband.[/b][/color]

I hope this makes sense.

ammyluv2002:
Yes! It does make sense, but wives should submit fully to their husbands according to the bible principles. My husband cannot tell me to sleep with his friend & you expect me to submit fully

Toks2008:
Nice question?

When I was growing up I usually watch indigenous movies and I noticed that many times the wife usually disagrees with the hubby but there is this calm and respectful manner they table their disapproval and at the end the man usually flows with them.

Olowo ori mi, oluwa mi, ade ori mi, my darling, sweet heart...are the magic words they start with and the man will just calm down to listen but in a situation where the wife just uses a high tone to disagree then wahala dey come be that.

No man wants another man as a wife in a sane world.

Diplomaticbeing:
@OP


Stop sounding like you're an authority or one who has monopoly of wisdom.

Your postulation is flawed to someone like me, because I believe that love or submission when given (earned or not), should be maintained so as to sustain it.

In my altruistic nature, every living human being is automatically qualified for my love, care, respect etc - free of charge - however, to sustain any of these free goodies from me (especially a wife) she must continually improve (maintain) on all virtues.

In summary, I say altruism plus reciprocation equal to a healthy and happy marriage.

Toks2008:
Lol! what you witnessed from your dad is tolerance and not submission...

Berbierklaus:
[b]Grandpa no one asked you for your life history,so please relax and take to corrections.

if You were my husband/boyfriend,I would have told You to "shutup and listen" I said "Relax" coz You are my grandpa

Now to the argument You both are having,Everyone has an opinion,trust me I have come to understand You and your writeups,(You are only been realistic while most of us are striving to be idealistic).The challenge is finding a balance because all these rules and regulations for marriages and relationships are unique to every relationship,some men don't take NO,no matter how submissive the wife is(been realistic,I'm sure You will agree with me) and some men are in awe or their wives and a very agressive NO will do the trick(I'm been realistic),so the problem I have with most of your rightups is that "they are not a standard for relationships,coz every relationship is unique" but from your tone of words,You type like that's all that should be done because it is in the "BIBLE" forgetting that even Jesus said in "MARK 2:27" The sabbath(law) was made for man not man for the sabbath(law),
meaning most of this bible injunctions can be used uniquely not universally. (I hope You know what happened in that verse and why he made that statement?).


secondly,I want to say I agree with your rightup once again,although it is a little bit flawed "to me". Any idiot can see the emphasis You made on "WIVES SUBMISSION" I think its good but I also think it would have been appropriate if You emphasized as much on the "HUSBAND's LOVE". (I think this is where most relationship experts get it wrong).

Now lets use the scripture You qouted as an example,did You realise that Ephesians 5:33 has two parts(part A and B)
Did You realise that part A was talking to the husband?
Ephesians 5:33
However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself
Did You realise that the bible spoke to the husband first? That tells You that Submission is "EARNED" so its flawed for You to say "THE BIBLE SAID THAT THE WIFE MUST BE SUBMISSIVE TO HER HUSBAND NO MATTER WHAT"







because grandpa,the bible has put an unspoken condition in that verse,(You can't respect/submit to your abusive father,You "FEAR" him,likewise if You say wives should be submissive unconditionally,You are only telling her to "FEAR" him,that is not submission according to the bible)

Part B
[color=#000055]Ephesians 5:33
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord[/color]

Every man that loves his wife,automatically has earned her respect and submission,it is a known fact,and a man that doesn't love his wife(cheating on her "glaringly" abuse her,doesn't do his roles as a husband etc) will be "FEARED" not respected/submitted to).

So grandpa,all this tunranchi is what the bible is preaching(Idealistic) not what our pastors are interpreting the bible to, not what You have interpreted the bible to,which is sadly the (realistic) point of what we have in the world today because our religious leaders have knowingly or unknowingly led some men astray by repeatedly preaching and emphasizing on "SUBMISSION" while skimming through "LOVE".

The kingdom of God is a hot race,I fear for most people,as I have come to a stage in my salvation where,I read and ask the holy spirit to interpret and explain what this really means to me,instead of listening to one marriage counsel/counsellor and corrupting my heavenly journey .

I hope You will settle down and read my epistle,and may the holy spirit help You to realise the truth.[/b]

Xiadnat:
Well, for once, I actually agree. The bible is clear on submission. Quite honestly, I can't be the boss at work and at home.

However, submission comes with certain stipulations. First, the man has to love the wife like Christ unto the Church.

Being submissive cannot become a thing of or lead to violence, abuse, infidelity.

I have not a problem with the idea of submission. I do however detest those who "insist" upon themselves. Like those on a power trip. It tends to bring out the rebellious side of me.

My husband cannot insist upon my submission just because it feeds his ego and its what wives should do blah blah.

Submission & love should be "given" in the spirit of that we both want to emulate Christ and please God. Period. Anything else is justified slavery.

Toks2008:
Nice question.

The issue of a man cheating will forever be a pain in the minds of many ladies but I'm so so sorry to tell you this truth that submitting to your husband is unconditional.

In submittion you can table your grievances and the fact that your hubby cheats on you is not a ground for disrespect. If you want to leave the union because of that then it's your choice but that must not make you disrespect him.

Your husband is your lord.

ItsQuinn:
You can only find a submissive slave woman in Nollywood, Bollywood and Hollywood movies, in your dreams and your imagination. Realistically they don't exist, if you're waiting to find one, you will wait for all eternity. Like I said, the bible is unrealistic!

Toks2008:
Bro I'm so unfettered with negative comments and anytime I respond to one I just do that to correct the poster.

The truth us that I have no business with nairaland asides my passion for freelance writing on romance, religion and politics.

I know what marriage looks and feels like and the best I can do is share my knowledge and experience here and it is the choice of people to contribute or ignore rather than slander or make derogatory remarks.

No hard feelings watsoever. I'm a lover not a fighter.

eyinjuege:
Loving your wife is unconditional.

You skipped vs 25 of Ephesians 5, where husbands are required to love their wives even as Christ loved the church giving up his life for her.

You cannot love your wife like Christ loved the church or even love her like you love yourself if you cheat on her.

Doing so means you will also not mind her cheating on you... vs 28

Being the head as a man means you set the examples in your own home. It's not a matter of do as I say but don't do as I do.
Actions speak louder than words by the way, so all this talk that I love my wife, I respect my husband is all wash... Let us see it!!
Words mean nothing anymore in our society.

Toks2008:
Bro I'm so unfettered with negative comments and anytime I respond to one I just do that to correct the poster.

The truth us that I have no business with nairaland asides my passion for freelance writing on romance, religion and politics.

I know what marriage looks and feels like and the best I can do is share my knowledge and experience here and it is the choice of people to contribute or ignore rather than slander or make derogatory remarks.

No hard feelings watsoever. I'm a lover not a fighter.

Toks2008:
THE SUBMISSIVE WOMAN

Most ladies spend so much time and energy preparing for a wedding ceremony but very unprepared for just one condition responsible for a formidable union called SUBMISSION.

The modern day woman has allowed sophistication as a result of sound education and several other factors to make her see herself as equal to a man hence finds it difficult to be extremely submissive and this is one of the triggering factors for a break up. Being fully submissive to your man is one of the greatest secret to longevity of any romantic affair so Lets see what the Quran and Bible has to say concerning the act of submission from the woman.

Al-Tirmidhi 3272 - "When Allah's Messenger was asked which woman was best he replied, 'The one who pleases (her husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command, and does not go against his wishes regarding her person or property by doing anything of which he disapproves'."

Ephesians 5:22-24 :Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

No woman has any business with marriage or any serious romantic affair with a man until she is ready to "submit,honor,respect,reverence her husband to the maximum level just as she will respect the lord.Show me a submissive woman and I will show you a peaceful and lasting union.Being submissive does not mean you should obey your man blindly or go against the commandments of GOD neither does it make you a zombie or a mindless person but it means being meek,humble and serene even when you disagree with your man as many times as possible.Believe it or not,no matter how many relationships you get involved in,you will always have issues if you don't learn how to submit yourself to your man.

And as the man,for whatever reason you choose to marry that lady, if you are not ready to love that woman with her imperfections and without exception with behavior worthy of respect and esteem, always seeking the best for her with an attitude of loving-kindness all the days of your life please don't propose marriage to her.

GOD commands the man to love the wife and the wife to submit to the husband. Refusal to do this is rebellion against GOD himself.By loving your wife you are honoring GOD and not doing your wife a favor and by submitting to your husband, you are demonstrating an act of obedience to GOD and not to your husband.

I hope this makes sense.

wrongnumber:
Unrealistic thread for today's woman.

Berbierklaus:
[b]Grandpa no one asked you for your life history,so please relax and take to corrections.

if You were my husband/boyfriend,I would have told You to "shutup and listen" I said "Relax" coz You are my grandpa

Now to the argument You both are having,Everyone has an opinion,trust me I have come to understand You and your writeups,(You are only been realistic while most of us are striving to be idealistic).The challenge is finding a balance because all these rules and regulations for marriages and relationships are unique to every relationship,some men don't take NO,no matter how submissive the wife is(been realistic,I'm sure You will agree with me) and some men are in awe or their wives and a very agressive NO will do the trick(I'm been realistic),so the problem I have with most of your rightups is that "they are not a standard for relationships,coz every relationship is unique" but from your tone of words,You type like that's all that should be done because it is in the "BIBLE" forgetting that even Jesus said in "MARK 2:27" The sabbath(law) was made for man not man for the sabbath(law),
meaning most of this bible injunctions can be used uniquely not universally. (I hope You know what happened in that verse and why he made that statement?).


secondly,I want to say I agree with your rightup once again,although it is a little bit flawed "to me". Any idiot can see the emphasis You made on "WIVES SUBMISSION" I think its good but I also think it would have been appropriate if You emphasized as much on the "HUSBAND's LOVE". (I think this is where most relationship experts get it wrong).

Now lets use the scripture You qouted as an example,did You realise that Ephesians 5:33 has two parts(part A and B)
Did You realise that part A was talking to the husband?
Ephesians 5:33
However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself
Did You realise that the bible spoke to the husband first? That tells You that Submission is "EARNED" so its flawed for You to say "THE BIBLE SAID THAT THE WIFE MUST BE SUBMISSIVE TO HER HUSBAND NO MATTER WHAT"







because grandpa,the bible has put an unspoken condition in that verse,(You can't respect/submit to your abusive father,You "FEAR" him,likewise if You say wives should be submissive unconditionally,You are only telling her to "FEAR" him,that is not submission according to the bible)

Part B
[color=#000055]Ephesians 5:33
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord[/color]

Every man that loves his wife,automatically has earned her respect and submission,it is a known fact,and a man that doesn't love his wife(cheating on her "glaringly" abuse her,doesn't do his roles as a husband etc) will be "FEARED" not respected/submitted to).

So grandpa,all this tunranchi is what the bible is preaching(Idealistic) not what our pastors are interpreting the bible to, not what You have interpreted the bible to,which is sadly the (realistic) point of what we have in the world today because our religious leaders have knowingly or unknowingly led some men astray by repeatedly preaching and emphasizing on "SUBMISSION" while skimming through "LOVE".

The kingdom of God is a hot race,I fear for most people,as I have come to a stage in my salvation where,I read and ask the holy spirit to interpret and explain what this really means to me,instead of listening to one marriage counsel/counsellor and corrupting my heavenly journey .

I hope You will settle down and read my epistle,and may the holy spirit help You to realise the truth.[/b]


Sadly, so sad to read this post. This post or epistle is an express way to broken homes. Marriage can led u to hell marriage can as well lead u to heaven. Eph. 5:22-25 has no qualification, it has no alternative and has no condition attarched to it. Any woman that has an alternative interpretation to this other than it ordinary interpretation has no business in a man's house. This I say is apt in the circumstance. The scriptures as stated above, Christ liken the submission of wife to as the church submitting to Christ without alternative and or condition. Submitting should be a virtue. It should be inherent. And not equating oneself with your husband and or God. V 25 also instructed men to love their wife and also liken same to how Christ love the church and died for her. These two responsibilities are unique in that a man has his duty to love his wife without any form of qualification or condition becouse this is the instruction from God. And again a woman has her responsibility to submit to his husband in everything and not partly. This is the standard of a good Christian home. And again the last verse of chapter 5 of Eph. Emphasised and even make it a must for each of the partners to keep to his or her part of the bargain and or instruction by submitting and loving. This is becouse on the judgement day you will not say that becouse my husband did not keep to his own part of the bargain, that's why I did not keep mind too. Just like Adam informing God that Eve gave him the apple and Eve when asked by God passed the buck to the serpant. Every man will stand on the judgement throne of God and give account of his stewardship on earth.

Toks2008:
Nice question?

When I was growing up I usually watch indigenous movies and I noticed that many times the wife usually disagrees with the hubby but there is this calm and respectful manner they table their disapproval and at the end the man usually flows with them.

Olowo ori mi, oluwa mi, ade ori mi, my darling, sweet heart...are the magic words they start with and the man will just calm down to listen but in a situation where the wife just uses a high tone to disagree then wahala dey come be that.

No man wants another man as a wife in a sane world.

safarigirl:
does he sound married to you

This is just balderdash postulated by a researcher looking in from outside the institution, he doesn't have the required experience to solidify his hypothesis. This is theory.

I'm sure married people are reading his post and laughing, ask him how old he is and why he isn't married despite how knowledgeable he supposedly is on the topic of marriage.

Imagine applying 17th century ideologies in the 21st century.

Abeg, i can't deal with misogynistic Nigerian men

#TeamForeignGuys

safarigirl:
does he sound married to you

This is just balderdash postulated by a researcher looking in from outside the institution, he doesn't have the required experience to solidify his hypothesis. This is theory.

I'm sure married people are reading his post and laughing, ask him how old he is and why he isn't married despite how knowledgeable he supposedly is on the topic of marriage.

Imagine applying 17th century ideologies in the 21st century.

Abeg, i can't deal with misogynistic Nigerian men

#TeamForeignGuys

Toks2008:
Nice question.

The issue of a man cheating will forever be a pain in the minds of many ladies but I'm so so sorry to tell you this truth that submitting to your husband is unconditional.

In submittion you can table your grievances and the fact that your hubby cheats on you is not a ground for disrespect. If you want to leave the union because of that then it's your choice but that must not make you disrespect him.

Your husband is your lord.

masonkz:
Oh. From the man it's called tolerance. From the woman it's called submission.

I must have really missed some English classes.


Kindly tell me what "tolerance" and "submission" translate to in your native language.


Smh