Benita27:
Lol.
Don't take it personal, we should both have our lives to live, and it has nothing to do with being handicap it's just his responsibilities he's taking on.

Now, whatever works for us is fine.

ONE MOMENT YOU ALL FIGHTING FOR GENDER EQUALITY, THE NEXT ONE YOU'RE TRYING TO ASSIGN RESPONSIBILITIES.

WHAT EXACTLY DO FEMALES WANT EQUAL?
SAME LENGTH OF PENIIS FOR BOTH GENDERS WITH A PAIR OF TESTICLES FOR EVERYONE, OR WHAT??

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ONE MOMENT YOU ALL FIGHTING FOR GENDER EQUALITY, THE NEXT ONE YOU'RE TRYING TO ASSIGN RESPONSIBILITIES.

WHAT EXACTLY DO FEMALES WANT EQUAL?
SAME LENGTH OF PENIIS FOR BOTH GENDERS WITH A PAIR OF TESTICLES FOR EVERYONE, OR WHAT??

Benita27:
When you want a shared responsibilities with women why won't they scream for gender equality.
What do some of you really want?.
They change their surnames to yours.
They cook your favourite meals.
They withstand unbearable pains during child birth.

They raise your kids for you.
They maintain stable homes for you...i can go on and on, and still you want them to take up your responsibilities, what makes you a man then?, just getting her pregnant i guess.

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1. IS IT COMPULSORY TO CHANGE THEIR NAMES, WHO FORCED THEM?

2. THEY COOK WHAT? PLEASE SPARE ME THE OLDEN DAYS TALK. WE ALL KNOW THAT THE LADIES OF TODAY BARELY KNOW HOW TO SLICE ONIONS. LET ME TELL YOU, IF ITS ABOUT THE FAVOURITE MEALS WE KNOW WHAT IT IS AND WHERE AND HOW TO GET IT.

3. PAINS DURING BIRTH?
ITS ALSO NOT COMPULSORY TO GET PREGNANT.. SHE CAN STAY SINGLE ALL SHE WANTS, OR EMAIL WHICHEVER GOD SHE BELIEVES IN TO REDESIGN THE SYSTEM, MAYBE SO THAT KIDS WOULD BE BOUGHT LIKE ORANGES FROM THE MARKET.

CAPSLOCKED:





1. IS IT COMPULSORY TO CHANGE THEIR NAMES, WHO FORCED THEM?

2. THEY COOK WHAT? PLEASE SPARE ME THE OLDEN DAYS TALK. WE ALL KNOW THAT THE LADIES OF TODAY BARELY KNOW HOW TO SLICE ONIONS. LET ME TELL YOU, IF ITS ABOUT THE FAVOURITE MEALS WE KNOW WHAT IT IS AND WHERE AND HOW TO GET IT.

3. PAINS DURING BIRTH?
ITS ALSO NOT COMPULSORY TO GET PREGNANT.. SHE CAN STAY SINGLE ALL SHE WANTS, OR EMAIL WHICHEVER GOD SHE BELIEVES IN TO REDESIGN THE SYSTEM, MAYBE SO THAT KIDS WOULD BE BOUGHT LIKE ORANGES FROM THE MARKET.

Benita27:
If you can't stand your responsibilities, then don't marry them.
Abi were you forced too?.

PLEASE REMIND ME OF THE PARTICULAR GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO SLEEP IN CHURCHES FROM WHEN THEY'VE PASSED 30years HOPING THE HOLY SPIRIT SENDS THEM LIFE PARTNERS.

GOOD THING NOT EVERY MALE WANTS TO PLAY BY MY RULES, ELSE Y'ALL DYING SINGLE.

CAPSLOCKED:




PLEASE REMIND ME OF THE PARTICULAR GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO SLEEP IN CHURCHES FROM WHEN THEY'VE PASSED 30years HOPING THE HOLY SPIRIT SENDS THEM LIFE PARTNERS.

GOOD THING NOT EVERY MALE WANTS TO PLAY BY MY RULES, ELSE Y'ALL DYING SINGLE.

Benita27:
And like i said earlier, his money is ours.

eyinjuege:
The only people that can do my money is mine and yours is ours and get away with it are those ones that have married into money.

They can afford to do that.

The reality of marriage begins to dawn on people within a year of getting into it.

Benita27:
Seriously praying you don't.

teemy:
as long as bringing out your money should he ever be broke does not create an issue then this model is ok. the focus is to ensure none is broke.

Benita27:
This was a question put forward by my pastor to his married congregation, but i was amazed that views were divergent in regards to it.

1st speaker as she was given the microphone.
"My husband is rich, i have a personal business i run but from feeding, school fees, allowances, my hair do to clothing, he foots the bills, have never spent my personal earnings in the course of my home beside buying snackes for my kids, so my money is mine while his money is ours".
After she spoke her husband was given the floor, and he said his wife's money is hers while his money is their money. I liked the couple.

3nd speaker, wasn't married yet but was of the opinion that both first and second speakers had the wrong mentality,"There's nothing like his wife's money being hers while his money is ours, to him it's a 50/50 thing in the marriage if both of them were working".

Last speaker said "It's my duty to take care of my family but in situations where i'm incapacitated, then my wife can assist, i still make effort to pay her back borrowed money from her, because her money is hers and my money is ours".

Well, the questions where two in one and it goes this way:
Is Your Wife's Money Hers, and Yours Our Money?.
Should Couples Operate A Joint Account?.

TR1212:
lol... na wa o. @OP that your pastor sef. is there really a defined format for doing things in marriage? shouldn't people do what works for them? I think all the speakers are right because they are comfortable with their arrangements and it works for them.

But for me, i'd prefer that "my money is my money and your money is our money" option, only in this case, i'd rather be the YOUR in the sentence. it gives women more sense of responsibility, independence and equality in a home. However, because of this stupid thing called 'masculine ego' and the fact that people abuse opportunities (the woman will abuse the privilege of being left to her income, and a man will abuse the privilege of his wife taking care of things), I'd prefer if the man still acknowledges his responsibilities and shoulders them. My money can always be a backup for the family anytime, that is, if the man provides enough. Otherwise, every income is OUR money so we don't misuse.

On the joint account thingy, I no fit o. reason: my people say "what you don't know wont kill you". I'm not ready to start asking what happened to this one or two naira or even to tolerate such questions. let him spend his money how he deems fit, albeit wisely and I will do same. Also, the wife is always more conservative when it comes to finances (at least so I believe). So if the man has access to everything money in the house and it isn't really in excess, all of us will be in trouble nah. mbanu....

raumdeuter:


So if he is never broke or always around, What are your own financial responsibilities to your own family? Or you are telling us you have none?

So what is your own investment into a family, husband and kids you call yours?


Yet people wonder why men treat women like that as inferior to them? If you cant spend your own money on your own family then what is your contribution to the house

eyinjuege:
The only people that can do my money is mine and yours is ours and get away with it are those ones that have married into money.

They can afford to do that.

The reality of marriage begins to dawn on people within a year of getting into it.

cococandy:
Because the man is the head and woman is the neck duh?

Isn't that what men want?

raumdeuter:


You mean you will be a wife, and someone will provide and protect you what then do you give back to the family ?

Did your bible tell you that people drove cars, watched TV or used internet? Then why are you doing things not stated in the bible?

raumdeuter:


Then there is no need to spend equal amount on boys and girls education and just put more money towards the gender who is ready to work and make money for their family

cococandy:
Housekeeping
Submission.
Gourmet meals on demand.
Red pant and bra + designer sex to keep him in line.
Put her hair on the ground for him to step on when he walks.
24/7 kneeling down to pray so that small small girls won't see him when he goes out to win the daily bread.

Why else would such a man demand she bring money too?

cococandy:
Oh. Are we agreeing on something here?

raumdeuter:


Housekeeping is contracted out
One working round the clock doesnt care about gourmet meals

Red pant and bra for what? Is she a masquerade
hair on the ground? Most people prefer to step on rugs

raumdeuter:


Agreeing on what? That only genders that are ready to work for their family should be educated. Is that what you want?

cococandy:


Agreeing that males and females and should be given same opportunities in life. And none should be made to assume a role they don't want to be in just because of gender.

i.e mandatory female domestication.

raumdeuter:


So what happens when females after marriage decides she doesn't want to work after getting the necessary education should she be left alone to choose what she wants? Also can the man also decide not to work also and be left to decide what he wants


Or can either partner decide that even though I work, I don't want to contribute financially to this family? That my money is my money.

If self domestication also okay?

raumdeuter:


Agreeing on what? That only genders that are ready to work for their family should be educated. Is that what you want?

cococandy:
I'm sure these should be discussed before marriage.
You can't promise someone something else and suddenly decide to change after marriage. That's going against the contract and is understandable grounds for a legal parting of ways.

Either party should be fine with the type of lifestyle their fiancé/fiancée is proposing before saying I do. So the dudes that want domestic wives should make sure they go for women who want such for themselves and vice versa.

Any surprises after the knot has been tied is highly inconsiderate and should not be allowed.

Mindfulness:


So there is no room for development, change and progress in marriage? You have to remain the same for the rest of your life? It's impossible, isn't it? Change is inevitable.

Mindfulness:


I share your position with regards to this discussion here but education is not only good for making money. The value of education goes beyond that. When I see what people vote for today (Trump, extreme right-wing parties in Europe that promise nonsense, let me not mention Nigerian politicians ), I wish peole had an education. Moreover, uneducated mothers are more likely to raise ignorant children. Let's not reduce education to one benefit, it has plenty.

cococandy:


That's not in line with our discourse.

Improvement is always welcome.

Reneging of the basic conditions of the marriage isn't welcome. unless agreed on by the two partners.

Becoming a bigger and bigger liability to your partner is not a desirable change, development or improvement. Especially when they keep making it clear the burden is too much for them to carry alone.