"And two shall become one"
This applies to all angles of family building/marriage. So my money is our money, His is also our money.

Where altruism and fidelity are the principles on which a marriage is contracted and built upon, then problems like his money is our money and my money is my money vise versa would never occurs.

In fact, I would rather remain single than to marry a selfish person. Just as I would be miserable should I nurse or practice the ignoble act of selfishness towards my altruistic and faithful partner. I believe in reciprocation and I always pray for good morality.

In the absence of altruism, I would rather separate. . . . No time for mind game and pretension. Marriage should be enjoyed not endured - I cannot afford to have and live with a partner whom I tolerate instead of celebrate.

If a working class lady cannot assume the basic responsibility of home front running expenses (subject to her earning power; but at least the feeding department) without being told and cajoled into doing so, then she is better off not working at all.

Money is meant for spending. So if it is the husband that has the money, it belongs to the two of them, both of them should spend it. If it is the wife that has the money, it still belong to the two of them, therefore they should both spend it. If the two of them have the money, it still belongs to the two of them. Wife should not be keeping her own money or be spending it only on things she want only. No matter how big or small it is, it should be joined to the one of the husband to move the family forward. This is called team work and it is the best for marriage. In conclusion her money equals to our money, his money equals to our money.

jaybee3:


Which kain yeye english


As an example:

Cleaning the house vs Mowing the lawn

Cleaning the house -
Dusting
Hoovering
Cleaning the toilet and bathroom

In absolute terms, those are 3 specific tasks needed to complete that categorized Job

Whereas

Mowing the lawn is a single task


3 is far greater than 1 in absolute terms

BUT

The single 1 is probably more difficult to achieve than the combined 3

On average, it will probably take you 2 hours to clean the house whereas it might take 3 hours to keep the lawn clean


I know you will come back with the argument of frequency but it's just a simple illustration of how chores can be equally shared

Are you saying "I clean the house, you clean the lawn" kind of thingy?

Still doesn't achieve the 'equality' in my opinion.

Besides, how often do you clean the lawn?

bukatyne:


Are you saying "I clean the house, you clean the lawn" kind of thingy?

Still doesn't achieve the 'equality' in my opinion.

Besides, how often do you clean the lawn?

Lemme jor

jaybee3:


Lemme jor

jaybee3, how often do you clean the lawn?

bukatyne:


jaybee3, how often do you clean the lawn?

I'm actually doing all the chores at the moment, including childcare responsibilities as madam has been away in sunny Qatar since Jan

And yes, i still contribute a larger % share of the total household Expense

So no big deal

PS: Once a week in the summer/spring (Both front lawn and sizable back garden)

jaybee3:


I'm actually doing all the chores at the moment, including childcare responsibilities as madam has been away in sunny Qatar since Jan

And yes, i still contribute a larger % share of the total household financial need

So no big deal

PS: Once a week in the summer/spring (Both front lawn and sizable back garden)

Exactly my point

The chores are not 'shared'

You do as required.

Some people have the 'I do this; you do that' thingy however, I am not a fan.

Rather do what is required per time.

bukatyne:


Exactly my point

The chores are not 'shared'

You do as required.

Some people have the 'I do this; you do that' thingy however, I am not a fan.

Rather do what is required per time.

They are shared in my household Ma'am

We both pull our weight and it works for us

jaybee3:


They are shared in my household Ma'am

We both pull our weight and it works for us

Good for you

raumdeuter:


DIdnt they send you to school just like they sent him? or are you handicapped?

Then why are house chores regarded to be my responsibility. Afterall we both work 8 to 4 daily or are women superbeings?

Abeg his money is our money and my money is my own except there's a pressing need

soonest:
Then why are house chores regarded to be my responsibility. Afterall we both work 8 to 4 daily or are women superbeings?

Abeg his money is our money and my money is my own except there's a pressing need

Is there a reason ALL housechores shouldnt be shared?

raumdeuter:


So if he is never broke or always around, What are your own financial responsibilities to your own family? Or you are telling us you have none?

So what is your own investment into a family, husband and kids you call yours?


Yet people wonder why men treat women like that as inferior to them? If you cant spend your own money on your own family then what is your contribution to the house

Will you agree for the kids' to share surnames? Some of them will bear your surname and some mine?
Should we as a couple both adopt our surnames jointly? yours and mine together?

When it comes to headship, why do men want the rights but not the responsibilities?

Like soonest said - you say the housework is mine, I don't complain
You go to work, I go to mine - I don't complain
I choose to reserve my money for myself except for pressing needs, hell let loose Biko, who go look Uche face

Kimoni:


When it comes to headship, why do men want the rights but not the responsibilities?

You couldn't have said it better.

I'll care for the kids and take care of the home front but Oga, provide OUR needs. Anything from me na jara

My money OUR money, her money OUR money..


Simple and easy

Benita27:
I couldn't speak because of the crowd and i was shy, lol.

The man's money is "our" money, while my money is mine, but, if a need arises and he isn't around or is broke i can assist.

About the Joint account, it's a No! No!! For me, we have to run separate accounts while he will have to give me one of his ATM cards, accounts will be made on expenditures if he cares to know.

Men are in trouble!

jashar:


Money is money jare....

whoever has should bring and let it be spent.....

good you

A good and virtuous woman, (the kind we all dream to be married to) will not wait for the promptings of the man before she spends her money on her family.

Kimoni:


Will you agree for the kids' to share surnames? Some of them will bear your surname and some mine?
Should we as a couple both adopt our surnames jointly? yours and mine together?

When it comes to headship, why do men want the rights but not the responsibilities?

Like soonest said - you say the housework is mine, I don't complain
You go to work, I go to mine - I don't complain
I choose to reserve my money for myself except for pressing needs, hell let loose Biko, who go look Uche face

ayam not understanding you ma, can you pls enlighten us a lil bit.

Some of the kids will bear his surname, while some will bear your surname?

So you bear a different surname to your husband's?

Mayflowa:


good you

I believe those ladies talking,'my money my money' are joking.

So, are they saying if a need arises in the house, they will wait for the man to bring the money before that need is met when they have money in their account? .

That doesn't free the man from being the 'Most Senior' partner for financial responsibilities ooo....

But things like light bill, dstv bill, socks for the children... the woman can be buying those ones na... (as long as she's making money)

Haba...

jashar:




I believe those ladies talking,'my money my money' are joking.

So, are they saying if a need arises in the house, they will wait for the man to bring the money before that need is met when they have money in their account? .

That doesn't free the man from being the 'Most Senior' partner for financial responsibilities ooo....

But things like light bill, dstv bill, socks for the children... the woman can be buying those ones na... (as long as she's making money)

Haba...

Wow! you just become my friend!

Ioannes:


ayam not understanding you ma, can you pls enlighten us a lil bit.

Some of the kids will bear his surname, while some will bear your surname?

So you bear a different surname to your husband's?

This is a before marriage discussion when both partner still bear their different surnames.

Kimoni:


This is a before marriage discussion when both partner still bear their different surnames.

I see. So if the guy says you and the kids can keep bearing your father's surname after being married to him you'll be cool with?

I wonder how you're going to explain that to your family.

Truly women are confused . In a moment that talk about gender equity , another moment their body language says otherwise. Please madam benita, if your husnands money is "ours" and your money is "yours", does that still make you equal?

What does gender equity and gender equality realy mean?

raumdeuter:


Then will you be offended if he treats you like a property he acquired?

This is deep

raumdeuter:


Then there is no need to spend equal amount on boys and girls education and just put more money towards the gender who is ready to work and make money for their family

Where do you stay? you deserve a chilled bottle of beer

The Manipulated Man - Esther Vilar.

Benita27:
What did i leave my family name to take up his for, if not to be provided for and protected?. And like i said earlier, his money is ours.

Why argue about whose money to spend? The main thing is let there be money. Forget about who will spend the money.
Money has to be spent.
Most times women spend their money on their kids and little house keep.
If as a mother and a career woman, you are there looking with all your money and they send your kids out of school... that is your business.
No be only the husband shame go catch.

Muafrika2:


Actually, in the pre westernised African society, women worked on the land and traded to take care of the family. It's only that the land was not considered theirs. Men spent their days making laws, judging and taking beer

oh u forget defending the land, hunting and protecting the family.

Chai, see feminism palaver inside church again.