₦airaland Forum

I've made up my mind Never Ever to put up with a cheating spouse.

Even the Bible permits divorce on grounds of adultery. so who's society?

Finding a Naija man that doesn't cheat is like looking for a needle in a haystack. and that's one of the reasons marriage doesn't appeal to me, (among other vital reasons).

majekdom2:
Who are the married men cheating with?? Wood. There a thousand and many Nigerian married women that cheat on their spouses too. They are all around, make it very discrete and their husband would not even suspect. All these trash posts should not be encouraged.

But you will agree that there is a clear difference between someone
who spits on your face and tell you to go to hell and another who
hisses and gossips only at your back.

2dugged:
show me a Nigerian married man that has never cheated on his wife first

Get out of the sordid zone and stop reasoning like some 1200 BC chic.

fellis:
Why are people acting as if 2dugged is talking nonsense? Are they foreigners or they don't have experience with Nigerian marriages?
Why she said is plain truth and what obtains in Nigeria unfortunately. I know a woman personally, my aunts husband whose husband was cheating on her with the female students in the universities he lectures. He even had the audacity to receive phone calls from the girls in the presence of the woman. What didn't she do to change him?
She complained to his sister who was the relative he was closest to in the house, told her to talk to the man. She became superwoman with two jobs taking care of finance and housework to prick the man's conscience, she became sullen at home, gave him silent treatment, tried sexy dressing (anytime we went to her house we would meet her wearing small shorts and handless tops and this was an old woman with five children o) she ended up being frustrated and constantly complained at home for him to stop cheating, would even bring herself down to the level of calling the girls to warn them off but the man just continued sleeping around like a shameless dog without caring about the woman's feelings.

When she finally called family meetings to report the man and say she wants to end the marriage he started feigning remorse and they told her the same thing they tell all women, that please forgive him, he will change henceforth. Go home and be a good wife to him don't let Satan ruin your home.

After the meeting they went home and the man went right back to cheating on her. She gave up and asked for a divorce and he refused saying if she wants to leave she will have to go without the kids because he didn't want to end the marriage she was the only one that wants separation. Today they are living apart and the kids are living with the man but occasionally visit her.
All the members of his family are blaming her for the separation saying she is a heartless mother and she could have stayed for her kids. She. She's the heartless one. Not the useless dog of a husband that was exposing his wife to STDs. No. She is the heartless one.
During her kids last birthday which was held at the man's house everybody shunned her because they see her as a bad woman that used her own hands to destroy her marriage and abandoned her kids afterwards.

This is just one case I talked about here. There are others that I won't write. Leaving a cheating husband in Nigeria will most likely spell humiliation and loss of respect and even children in some cases that's why many women stay in marriage with cheating husbands not because they are not educated or independent.

And this trend isn't going to change anytime soon because Nigerian men don't respect women enough to be faithful to them and because many women have refused to fight for themselves and stick together. They would rather fight each other than face the men that cause them difficulties.

Oga, cheating is not a Nigerian thing.

logicab:
...go ask your FATHER why he's pained.

obviously you were not properly brought up,where are your manners?, to think a mannerless person like you wanted to contribute, if your parents brought you up properly you won't need so quick to insult other people not to talk of even going far,this is a lesson to all parents, train your children well so they don't come to public like this fellow to show how mannerless they are, smh

hmm

majekdom2:
Get out of the sordid zone and stop reasoning like some 1200 BC chic.

actually my zone is well caught up with civilization, or maybe you are typing for katsina where the still use camels who knows

neocortex:
But you will agree that there is a clear difference between someone
who spits on your face and tell you to go to hell and another who
hisses and gossips only at your back.

There is is clear difference. The former is a better one because you can be sure of what to expect next. I'd assume "Nigerian men" are the former as regards this discussion.

2dugged:
thank you, this is the Nigerian factor I have been hammering on,in the end society will still find a way to blame the woman for her husband's philandering

your problem is; you have put your life in the hands of the society. You have made them make some decisions for you thus the reason for your mental judgements.

2dugged:
I have tried so hard to convince myself that maybe it's just my environment, maybe there are faithful married men in other parts of the country. 95 % of married Nigerian men cheat on their wives atleast once, while from the 5%, 3% have not cheated because the opportunity has not presented itself yet, and only 2% are actually faithful to their wives. I often hear statements like "men are naturally polygamous", a nairalander once said "if you can't bear your husband cheating on you,then don't get married", but I ask myself just how much do you have to bear?, a distant relative lost her life because her husband infected her with hiv, she knew he was philandering, but what could she do?,now both her and her husband are dead, it's been years, sometimes I see the kids and i just feel awful, if a man cheats, women have always have that big heart to forgive and move on,but when a man gives his wife disease, it means that man not only lacks self control but is STUPID as well

Babe,Well said..I have two friends.Married friends..Both of them have girlfriends though which they come sleep with in my house..I make sure i give them condoms to use..One of them isnt a great fan of condoms,I was like which type of rubbish are you trying to do..You Bleep ur numerous girlfriends without condoms,while your wife wont Bleep any other dick..Told him times without number it is Bad..The other one is a correct and consistent user of condoms..That shows he respects he's wife..And that is how it should be...Well said my dear...If my wife wont give me STI,I should not be the one to give her one..

repogirl:
A philanderer will definitely give his wife one STD or the other in due time.

It baffles me sha, what they are looking for in their sexcapades? Is it not the same damn hole?

It's not my dear .. some are sugar coated others are honey coated while a few are not just coated but made from the purest of water like gulder.

For all the beautiful married and single ladies out there I advice you'll to read sherry argov "why men marry bitches" very enlighting on issues of marrige, dating and most importantly men...I agree that 99.9% of men cheat but that can be changed with a little relationship education. Not phd and bsc, I mean a moral compass to make woman more appealing and attractive to there husbands, cause I fail to see why a man would cheat if he knows the implication would be the loss of his most prized possession, his QUEEN!!!...get the book its worth the read.

fellis:
Why are people acting as if 2dugged is talking nonsense? Are they foreigners or they don't have experience with Nigerian marriages?
Why she said is plain truth and what obtains in Nigeria unfortunately. I know a woman personally, my aunts husband whose husband was cheating on her with the female students in the universities he lectures. He even had the audacity to receive phone calls from the girls in the presence of the woman. What didn't she do to change him?
She complained to his sister who was the relative he was closest to in the house, told her to talk to the man. She became superwoman with two jobs taking care of finance and housework to prick the man's conscience, she became sullen at home, gave him silent treatment, tried sexy dressing (anytime we went to her house we would meet her wearing small shorts and handless tops and this was an old woman with five children o) she ended up being frustrated and constantly complained at home for him to stop cheating, would even bring herself down to the level of calling the girls to warn them off but the man just continued sleeping around like a shameless dog without caring about the woman's feelings.

When she finally called family meetings to report the man and say she wants to end the marriage he started feigning remorse and they told her the same thing they tell all women, that please forgive him, he will change henceforth. Go home and be a good wife to him don't let Satan ruin your home.

After the meeting they went home and the man went right back to cheating on her. She gave up and asked for a divorce and he refused saying if she wants to leave she will have to go without the kids because he didn't want to end the marriage she was the only one that wants separation. Today they are living apart and the kids are living with the man but occasionally visit her.
All the members of his family are blaming her for the separation saying she is a heartless mother and she could have stayed for her kids. She. She's the heartless one. Not the useless dog of a husband that was exposing his wife to STDs. No. She is the heartless one.
During her kids last birthday which was held at the man's house everybody shunned her because they see her as a bad woman that used her own hands to destroy her marriage and abandoned her kids afterwards.

This is just one case I talked about here. There are others that I won't write. Leaving a cheating husband in Nigeria will most likely spell humiliation and loss of respect and even children in some cases that's why many women stay in marriage with cheating husbands not because they are not educated or independent.

And this trend isn't going to change anytime soon because Nigerian men don't respect women enough to be faithful to them and because many women have refused to fight for themselves and stick together. They would rather fight each other than face the men that cause them difficulties.

why didn't she go the legal route and fight for custody of the kids?

2dugged:
actually my zone is well caught up with civilization, or maybe you are typing for katsina where the still use camels who knows

you'd b surprised there are many with intelligent thoughts than whatever you have put up in "katsina". If your zone is well caught up, you'd realise Nigerian women are ladies are standing and fighting for themselves. They live beyond the society and don't let society dictate what happens in their lives.

2dugged:
Abeg, e don do, nor let me vex for you o,what is 80 - 90%? we are talking about Nigerian men here,that same ones who always say they are polygamous in nature and that cheating is their inborn trait and they can't help it,so where did 80- 90% come from?, definitely not the Nigerian men in this country

no mind am

repogirl:
A philanderer will definitely give his wife one STD or the other in due time.

It baffles me sha, what they are looking for in their sexcapades? Is it not the same damn hole?

it's not the same. Toto delicious pass toto. I'm a virgin buh i'm talking from my friends experience.

happney65:
Babe,Well said..I have two friends.Married friends..Both of them have girlfriends though which they come sleep with in my house..I make sure i give them condoms to use..One of them isnt a great fan of condoms,I was like which type of rubbish are you trying to do..You Bleep ur numerous girlfriends without condoms,while your wife wont Bleep any other dick..Told him times without number it is Bad..The other one is a correct and consistent user of condoms..That shows he respects he's wife..And that is how it should be...Well said my dear...If my wife wont give me STI,I should not be the one to give her one..

and those stupid girls know he's married.

smh.

HARDDON:
u sound a lil bit incensed about something, so i'd let it slide, but a lil advise:: stop confessing negative, for you shal have what you say, or think.

instead of seeing the cup as half empty, see it as half full. be positive

that I stated the facts doesn't mean I don't have the hope of getting a man form the 2% category, first have to state the obvious, that's all

Newbeginnings:
Most men cheat... because the women allow it.... simple... If a man loves a woman dearly and she does not allow him to cheat, he will never ever ever cheat

hmmmmmmmmmm

All of dem cheat

2dugged:
I have tried so hard to convince myself that maybe it's just my environment, maybe there are faithful married men in other parts of the country. 95 % of married Nigerian men cheat on their wives atleast once, while from the 5%, 3% have not cheated because the opportunity has not presented itself yet, and only 2% are actually faithful to their wives. I often hear statements like "men are naturally polygamous", a nairalander once said "if you can't bear your husband cheating on you,then don't get married", but I ask myself just how much do you have to bear?, a distant relative lost her life because her husband infected her with hiv, she knew he was philandering, but what could she do?,now both her and her husband are dead, it's been years, sometimes I see the kids and i just feel awful, if a man cheats, women have always have that big heart to forgive and move on,but when a man gives his wife disease, it means that man not only lacks self control but is STUPID as well

hello.. Your statistics is 100% incorrect

repogirl:
A philanderer will definitely give his wife one STD or the other in due time.

It baffles me sha, what they are looking for in their sexcapades? Is it not the same damn hole?

hole is different from hole. An oilwell is different from a waterwell. The methods of drilling, completing and producing those holes are totally different.

hummm..bt why will a man married or nt married cheat on his patner nt to talk of giving her STIS..just for the sake of 5-10mins pleasure that she can offer u..itz simply lack of respect.. women like u rightly say may overlook it nd just move on..bt any man that infect his patner with any diseases curable or not is definitely guilty of her death if she eventually die nd guilty of her pain if she didnt die..we knw that women cheat too..bt believe ye me 60% of women cant think abt cheating on their man nt to talk of going into the act .just respect ur woman..respect her commitment.. think abt the emotional suffering u are making her go through anytime u cheat on her nt to talk of making the innocent soul suffer becus of ur foolish act..

2dugged:
y'all Just read and fail to comprehend, I said married men at on time or the other during their marriage cheat on their wives, even if it's just a one time affair

married women at one time or the other cheat on their husbands. Even if it's just one time.

majekdom2:
you'd b surprised there are many with intelligent thoughts than whatever you have put up in "katsina". If your zone is well caught up, you'd realise Nigerian women are ladies are standing and fighting for themselves. They live beyond the society and don't let society dictate what happens in their lives.

which ones?,the ones wear black socks and jihad covering their head to toe and are caged in the house,and can be thrown out when their husband decide to marry a 5th wife, so he can make it 4?or the ones who have been automatically dis inherited simply because they are women, Abeg, tell me who

Marvel1206:
hello.. Your statistics is 100% incorrect

then kindly give me your own correct statistics

majekdom2:
Get out of the sordid zone and stop reasoning like some 1200 BC chic.

I know rIght. She already thinks it is ok for a man to cheat. Why the hell won't you get cheated on, when you have already accepted it as a fact

2dugged:
then kindly give me your own correct statistics

no one has the correct, accurate statistics but yours is no where near

Ukhunefosa:
For all the beautiful married and single ladies out there I advice you'll to read sherry argov "why men marry bitches" very enlighting on issues of marrige, dating and most importantly men...I agree that 99.9% of men cheat but that can be changed with a little relationship education. Not phd and bsc, I mean a moral compass to make woman more appealing and attractive to there husbands, cause I fail to see why a man would cheat if he knows the implication would be the loss of his most prized possession, his QUEEN!!!...get the book its worth the read.

Preach!