₦airaland Forum

DAVID could not take his eyes off Janet. They had just met for the first time at a party. He was attracted to her shapely figure and the way her hair tumbled over her eye when she laughed. Janet was enchanted by his deep brown eyes and his witty conversation. They both felt that this was the start of something big.

During the next three weeks David and Janet were inseparable. They talked for hours and discovered countless common interests. Both said that they had never been this close to anyone else. However, one night Janet received an emotionally devastating phone call from a previous male companion. So she called David for comfort. But David, feeling threatened and confused, responded coldly. Janet felt rejected. What they had considered love at first sight—a love believed strong enough to last forever—died that night.

The ending of this experience contrasts greatly with what most persons see through today’s entertainment and advertising media. A dazzling picture is painted of men and women who, after a glance, a look, “fall madly in love” and remain that way for a lifetime. As a young person you may ask: Is this how love starts? Can lasting love really be found at first sight?

Certainly, physical attraction is a factor in drawing two persons together. It usually is the first thing you notice. “You must realize that it is hard to ‘see’ a person’s personality,” said 21-year-old Guy.

But what is it that one “loves” when the relationship is but a few hours or days old? Is it not the mental image you have of that person? Really, you don’t know much about that person’s thoughts, hopes, fears, plans, habits, skills or abilities. However, the outward appearance does have a powerful effect!

Know the person and ignore the face

In many countries the faces of handsome men and glamorous women beam from movie and TV screens, as well as adorn newspaper ads, magazine covers and billboards. So quite likely the daydreams of young people are going to involve the physical qualities of handsomeness and beauty. With the overemphasis on The Face, the underlying personality could easily be overlooked.

One research study found that there was a tendency to associate (in one’s own imagination) certain positive personality traits with a physically attractive person. The report in Psychology Today says: “We found that students thought good-looking persons were generally more sensitive, kind, interesting, strong, poised, modest, sociable, outgoing and exciting than less-attractive persons.”

Yet surely you know some physically attractive persons who are anything but kind, modest or sensitive. Outward appearances can be deceiving. The glittering wrappings of a gift tell you nothing of what’s inside. In fact, the most elegant wrappings may cover a useless gift.

However, if a person was pretty without having “sensibleness,” it was like taking a beautiful nose ring and putting it in the snout of a pig. If you kept your eye only on that glittering nose ring, what a rude awakening to find that its possessor was a pig! So, too, would it not be better to find out whether the person you are physically attracted to has “sensibleness,” or ‘sound intellectual judgment and discernment’? “You’ve got to take time,” urged 20-year-old Sandra. “A person just doesn’t hand out to you his personality by simply saying: ‘This is what I am. Now you know all about me.’ It just doesn’t work that way. It takes time.”
Wait to See the ‘Person of the Heart’

One couple felt that they did not have to wait. “I just fell in love, fast and deep,” explained 20-year-old Jill. “When it hits, it hits real hard.” After a whirlwind romance of two months, they were married. But then the ‘secret person’ of each one’s heart began to emerge.

Jill, who was an affectionate blond with pale-blue eyes, began to display some of her insecurity and self-centeredness. Her handsome husband, after seeing his life’s dreams “go down the drain” because of his family responsibilities, lost his romantic charm and became selfish. After being married for about two years, Jill finally one day screamed that her husband was “cheap,” “lazy” and a “flop” as a husband. Rick responded by striking her in the face with his fist. In tears, Jill dashed out of their house—and out of their marriage.

But how much easier their adjustment in marriage would have been had they become better acquainted! By taking time they would have got a better glimpse of each other’s real personality and seen how each one would react under stress. Their love would not have been of an “image,” but of a real personality—one with both flaws and strengths. Yet to learn all of this would have taken time, time that they failed to give to their pre-marriage relationship.

Wise indeed are those young persons who recognize that real love does not happen overnight. For instance, one young woman corresponded through the mail with a young man she met at a religious convention. “In one of his letters he said that he ‘loved me,’” reported Barbara. “I was dumbfounded. I only saw him once. We didn’t know anything really important about each other. How in the world could he say that he loved me? I think at that point I grew up a little bit. I then realized that there is more to love than just outward appearance and being physically attracted to a person.” Have you ‘grown up’ to realize this also?

Barbara eventually did meet a man that she grew to love. “At first I was not overly attracted to Stephen physically,” revealed Barbara. “But as I got to know him better, things changed. I saw Stephen’s concern for other people and how he always put the interests of others before himself. These were the qualities I knew would make a good husband. I was drawn to him and began to love him.” Their relationship led to a good marriage. Yes, lasting happiness can come to those couples who develop real love and avoid the snare of thinking that genuine love comes at first sight.
http://toralife.com/relationship-2-ways-know-true-love/

Abeg sinaj come and read, after u tell me wetin dem talk

What's all this poo?

Too long

Before you post anything here always have it in mind that nairalanders are allergic to long post...i dashed into thread hoping to see if the op will give me a reason why she loved me truely but i was disappointed.

Smallville10:
Abeg sinaj come and read, after u tell me wetin dem talk

did u see my glasses?

sinaj:
did u see my glasses?

hahahahahaha...

Smallville10:
hahahahahaha...

I cnt read without them lol

sinaj:
I cnt read without them lol

ok... Wait make i go fin am come for u