Pros And Cons Of Spouses Living Separately In Different Countries - Family - Nairaland
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| Pros And Cons Of Spouses Living Separately In Different Countries by napa: 1:09pm On Oct 19, 2016 |
What are the possible advantages and disadvantages of couples living separately from each other especially when there are no kids yet? |
| Re: Pros And Cons Of Spouses Living Separately In Different Countries by missjo(f): 1:18pm On Oct 19, 2016 |
On a personal and emotional level, there are NO ADVANTAGES trust me. 3 Likes |
| Re: Pros And Cons Of Spouses Living Separately In Different Countries by Adesiji77: 1:28pm On Oct 19, 2016 |
@napa: I think the topic should have been "What are the Cons of Spouses Living Separately in Different Countries"  I don't think there is any mutually beneficial "Pro".... |
| Re: Pros And Cons Of Spouses Living Separately In Different Countries by ifyalways(f): 1:52pm On Oct 19, 2016 |
napa:No kids involved yet means it's a new marriage, I can't think of any pro. If its visa/residency/ education or finance issues, it should be sorted as soon as possible. Young couple should ideally stay together. 2 Likes |
| Re: Pros And Cons Of Spouses Living Separately In Different Countries by Nobody: 5:15pm On Oct 19, 2016 |
Adesiji77:well said. In your case, there would be gross cons. You guys have been living together for years and issues arose_ except you aren't asking this question for yourself. Biko, stick together, that's if you guys are considering working things out. 2 Likes |
| Re: Pros And Cons Of Spouses Living Separately In Different Countries by Nobody: 9:27pm On Oct 19, 2016 |
missjo: Well? What if the woman just needed the "security and societal respect" that marriage gives? And married a man who she really did not care about? And was happy working in country A, periodically travelling to country B for a brief stint at doing wifely duties....after which she would return to her country and her life Then for the man...he gets to be treated like a demi-god when wife arrives....then she goes back home before it gets all tedious and irritating...leaving him to his business(es) I dunno, this scenario seems like a win-win one for the people involved   Another scenario They are both so freaking busy in their different resident countries....so busy that they just literally work and sleep and work and sleep in that pattern, the little time they have for themselves they email and Skype and lament about busy work and bond and all......once, twice or thrice a year...they get together for a month or two....and have the most amazing quality time together. This too....could work too...if they must work eg for money, status, etc Another (I am on a roll )...they frankly hate each each others' guts to the moon and back..cannot stand themselves at all, but are staunch Catholics with families who have precious names to protect, ....or they are both super-cholerics who cannot bear to be seen as failures...and therefore a divorce would be just that, something that happens to other people and not them. Living apart would be an ice- cream party for them, no? Cos they stay married and only have to put up with each other for 2, or 4 weeks a year! And they can fake-whine to their friends about how much of a grind it is living in different countries....meanwhile all the while mentally doing high-fives as they hoodwink everyone, and win, in a situation that would have been sure, or near death if they lived together.I sincerely hope that nobody lives like this! I am all exhausted, from this imagination Jeez But surely a win-win for the people involved? I dunno...I am tired 2 Likes |
| Re: Pros And Cons Of Spouses Living Separately In Different Countries by missjo(f): 12:45pm On Oct 20, 2016 |
merahki:She doesn't care about her husband. Another scenarioThis is on a financial and educational level, not on a personal or emotional one like I noted. Another (I am on a rollThey hate and can't stand each other. I sincerely hope that nobody lives like this! I am all exhausted, from this imaginationYour imagination is very active,i like that. But I believe the question was constructed on the premise of couples who are in love and would prefer being in the same location, this was my understanding. 1 Like |
| Re: Pros And Cons Of Spouses Living Separately In Different Countries by Dyt(f): 12:56pm On Oct 20, 2016 |
Napa Won't you be giving him more room to cheat? It will be so bad if he ends up impregnating another |
| Re: Pros And Cons Of Spouses Living Separately In Different Countries by napa: 5:31pm On Oct 20, 2016 |
Dyt: He just got admission for a two year programme in the States and I'm like 'the stumbling block' because I'm afraid to consent. |
| Re: Pros And Cons Of Spouses Living Separately In Different Countries by napa: 5:38pm On Oct 20, 2016 |
He knows I'm against us living separately because I for see serious issues but it's his dream and he claims he's doing it for family. Everything is becoming overwhelming not necessarily because we won't be together hopefully for two years but because I'm ttc. |
| Re: Pros And Cons Of Spouses Living Separately In Different Countries by sunvick(m): 5:54pm On Oct 20, 2016 |
Since no issue yet, it would be more ideal make your own application same time with him ohh. You can work and support the family. Before those small girls with ride will ride him away from you. There is thin line between you been ttc and him been abroad for 24months...there is likelihood of trying a shot ohh |
| Re: Pros And Cons Of Spouses Living Separately In Different Countries by Dyt(f): 6:11pm On Oct 20, 2016 |
napa: Haaaa Stumbling block ke? I dunno what to advice ooo Walahi It is well |
| Re: Pros And Cons Of Spouses Living Separately In Different Countries by sisisioge: 7:19pm On Oct 20, 2016 |
OP, two years is plenty of time to put TTC on hold while DH pursue other ventures. It will also be unfair to make him abandon his dreams just to stay with you... guy might eventually resent you for it. Best option is to arrange to either go with him or a carefully plan a timetable for visitations from both ends in the course of the two years. These timetable will be strictly adhered to come what may... If you were my sis, the next six month will see an energized movement towards you relocating. No be say this country is so livable right now. Have you thought of completely relocating the family? TTC is much easier there given their advance technology. Truthfully, there is nothing attractive about you two living apart rihht now.Good luck. 3 Likes |
| Re: Pros And Cons Of Spouses Living Separately In Different Countries by byvan03: 7:30pm On Oct 20, 2016 |
Let him go and brace yourself. If you dont , he will despise you for it believing he would have become more than he is if only you let him pursue his dreams. If he returns to you, good, if not ,so be it. It is actually better that you aren't pregnant because pregnant and alone doesnt seem cool at all. Start a real family when he returns for your own sanity . 1 Like |
| Re: Pros And Cons Of Spouses Living Separately In Different Countries by Dyt(f): 8:52pm On Oct 20, 2016 |
byvan03: Not all that easy oo They have been trying for 5years She will feel insecure no matter what Honestly I do not what to advice oo Also I am sorry I had to pick that from your advice 1 Like |
| Re: Pros And Cons Of Spouses Living Separately In Different Countries by byvan03: 8:59pm On Oct 20, 2016 |
Dyt: 5years? I didnt see that part but you really cant keep someone that wants to leave . It wont make sense for him look back years from now and see her as the witch that impeded his success. Set him free ,if he returns ,he is yours for keep. What will be, will be . 1 Like |
| Re: Pros And Cons Of Spouses Living Separately In Different Countries by Dyt(f): 9:06pm On Oct 20, 2016 |
byvan03: She has a previous thread about him cheating and all In all honesty Her patience is ehn I dunno |
| Re: Pros And Cons Of Spouses Living Separately In Different Countries by byvan03: 9:10pm On Oct 20, 2016 |
Dyt: Eeehhhh!!! No need ,what is she struggling to keep then ? Nawaoooh, nah she know wetin she want jare . |
| Re: Pros And Cons Of Spouses Living Separately In Different Countries by byvan03: 9:17pm On Oct 20, 2016 |
Dyt i just read her previous post . Op pleaae change your triangular life style ,your self esteem is 0. |
| Re: Pros And Cons Of Spouses Living Separately In Different Countries by Dyt(f): 9:21pm On Oct 20, 2016 |
byvan03: She's so so calm *atleast let me use that* Don't wanna just say anything cos it's pinching me for body Hian 1 Like |
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