Iceeydee:

This is not an issue. No guy goes into marriage when he's not ready to cater for his family.

Isn't that even the reason why most guys marry late? Why are you trying to raise a point that doesn't even exist?

Except of course the provision you're referring to is different from the normal basic needs a man is responsible for.

Rapmoney:
When I see some young financially dependent ladies talking and planning excitedly to tie the knot with a man as fast as possible, I can't help but wonder if they are actually planning for the actual 'married life' or just the wedding day

Laveda:


I hope you saw the part where I also said a man is supposed to provide for his woman?

Benita27:
I beg to differ bro @ the embolden. Let's take a look at two real examples.

My landlord is a Yoruba Muslim, works with shell BP, wife Yoruba too who's a degree holder, but for some reasons she's a full house wife. mind you, he has money to set up a business for her if he won't let her go into the labour market to scout for jobs, but he didn't, their first child is 14 so you can guess how long they've been married. I see it as they're doing what works for them in their marriage.

Second lady is a Uniben graduate, her husband works with Shell too, now he asked her not to work but pays her salary for seating at home on monthly basis, and is working for them...i wouldn't say it's because these men are not enlightened, they have their reasons.

I personally wouldn't want to be one of these wives in the future, still can't condemn such women for their decisions cos marriage is about compatibility, if a man is ok with his wife not working, and the wife is ok being a full house wife, then so be it.

Debra911:
I really love this topic, let's be factual. From Adam, a man s meant to provide for the wife, cos it not easy; the wife carries his baby for 9months, go through rigorous task in giving birth to the child, trains this child to make sure, he/she doesn't go astray cos wat this child becomes in future will be traced to the family background, thesame wife must take care of husband, do the house chores... All these are enough reasons for the hubby to take care of the wife, that's why sometimes, Islam don't support their girls to go through western education, according to them, they are meant for the home , all these are logically true but today, 21st century, everything has changed, the economy is no more favourable, wat if the breadwinner(hubby) dies along the line? what if the breadwinner lose his job due to the economy meltdown? it'll be more difficult for the wife to raise her poor kids, because of these reasons, women are forced to take up the challenge of being a mother and also a breadwinner at the same time. women are called to be independent, to be strong cos they've got to take up two challenges I.e being a mother & at the same time to be financially independent, inorder to become a helpmate to her spouse in d 'rainy days. Any lady who s not ready to take up these challenge can not survive in the real world.

Laveda:


Even the basic needs, guys are still complaining.

Laveda:


Even the basic needs, guys are still complaining.

Rapmoney:
In the end, they start becoming burden to family members and friends when the man loses the power to produce resources.

Working in Shell or any other multi-nationals is not a pre-requisite for being enlightened.

Laveda:


Broke fella spotted.

humilitypays:
‎Why do Nigerian ladies have this pre-determined mindset that the only rich guys are those working in oil companies

For you ladies info, lots of firms are paying more than oil companies, and funny enough, such organizations don't usually have big name neither are they popular unless u are an insider, u won't know that they earn fat....before u shout, the last company I worked with pay more than most intl oil firms, and for your info, we had lots of foreign staffs.

It's only naive people that think oil company workers earn the highest pay or income.

Do u know most guys that sell things at Ladipo market, Alaba intl market, trade fair, oshodi clothing market, balogun, ikeja computer village, etc earn more than most top oil company workers in a day‎

Some of these business guys make between NGN10,000 - NGN150,000 profit on a daily basis, multiply that by 30 days, you will find out that some business men in Nigeria earn far better than most company directors and managers and they can acquire landed properties worth millions with ease whereas the white collar guys u see in big company vehicles with driver live/depend on company loans, stealing of company funds, cooperative loans, welfare and borrowing.

‎
Pls stop using oil company workers as a reference of successful Nigerian men, it has become stale and old fashioned abeg‎

To the top: very insightful write-up, well done @rapmoney, preach on if they would listen

Benita27:
Because you've not seen doesn't make it impossible.
There're ladies with degrees whose husbands have subjected to full time house wives, of course they agreed on what they felt will make their marriage work.
Being financially dependent before marriage still doesn't make a lady visionless, is one without prospect that's visionless.

Benita27:
Because you've not seen doesn't make it impossible.
There're ladies with degrees whose husbands have subjected to full time house wives, of course they agreed on what they felt will make their marriage work.
Being financially dependent before marriage still doesn't make a lady visionless, is one without prospect that's visionless.

humilitypays:
Every woman should have something doing to earn a living before going into marriage, don't wait until you get married before u s...(

fabrista:
which degree?? A degree in mass communication, marketing, sociology, edu economics. etc you call that degree?

Benita27:
I beg to differ bro @ the embolden. Let's take a look at two real examples.

My landlord is a Yoruba Muslim, works with shell BP, wife Yoruba too who's a degree holder, but for some reasons she's a full house wife. mind you, he has money to set up a business for her if he won't let her go into the labour market to scout for jobs, but he didn't, their first child is 14 so you can guess how long they've been married. I see it as they're doing what works for them in their marriage.

Second lady is a Uniben graduate, her husband works with Shell too, now he asked her not to work but pays her salary for seating at home on monthly basis, and is working for them...i wouldn't say it's because these men are not enlightened, they have their reasons.

I personally wouldn't want to be one of these wives in the future, still can't condemn such women for their decisions cos marriage is about compatibility, if a man is ok with his wife not working, and the wife is ok being a full house wife, then so be it.

fxtreme:


And that shows the both men have vision, right?

So what if they lose their jobs? Or do they own the jobs?

fabrista:
which degree?? A degree in mass communication, marketing, sociology, edu economics. etc you call that degree?

Benita27:
Why don't they have vision?, shouldn't they have investments and landed properties?.

fxtreme:


You did not mention investments in your example.

If they have investments that generate income for the family then they are on point.

But if it is only the SHELL jobs as you said earlier, then that is no vision in my opinion.

StephDamielola:
According to Sam Adeyemi, any woman who doesn't help her husband financially should explain where else she wants to help him. Is it in childbirth? Then she is wrong, its our Natural default.

I will marry man with a vision but I must make money to an extent. Not just for myself but for the both of us. I dont want to be a liability to him.

I want to rule our the fact that the reason why women live longer than men is simply because they don't have wives.



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Rapmoney:
Not everyone who finds a wife finds a good thing. Only those who find a good wife. There should be more explanation to that statement.

Rapmoney:
So you mean a man will marry a lady who is a medical doctor or one who is into exportation of some commodities even before marriage and force her to sit at home? I don't think that's possible. Read the post again. I'm talking about the status of the woman even before marriage; she needs to be engaged and productive even before marriage.

Laveda:


I never stated I'm a feminist.

We all have our level, go for the lady that suits you and stop blabbing everywhere.

Rapmoney:
So you mean a man will marry a lady who is a medical doctor or one who is into exportation of some commodities even before marriage and force her to sit at home? I don't think that's possible. Read the post again. I'm talking about the status of the woman even before marriage; she needs to be engaged and productive even before marriage.

Benita27:
You should have connected the dots yourself, i mustn't mention everything.

Who lives on such jobs solely these days?.

Benita27:
Who lives on such jobs solely these days?.