₦airaland Forum

safarigirl:
this your topic get as e be.

I have a lot to say on it based in real life happenings. The beauty about life is, most of these things we say online are error-filled, when you get to that point in life to test your theory, you'll realize that talk is cheap and fantasy is different from reality.

Me sef no dey do relationship advice again, you don marry? wetin you sabi?

uzuede4:
Op are you broke? You dey find woman wey you go depend on for marriage? You men don't even know what you want. Please, leave women alone.Na una go pursue us come na una go still complain wetin be una problem sef Op are you broke? You dey find woman wey you go depend on for marriage? You men don't even know what you want. Please, leave women alone.Na una go pursue us come na una go still complain wetin be una problem sef

FortuneTeller:
My hubby's friend married a nurse. While she was based in Nigeria, she did very well, but due to school and licensing, she is unable to work where we are. I was going about helping her find work, when my husband told me to stop and leave it. Her husband does not want her to work because he feels she will be too proud. Can you imagine? He wants her to sit home with his child while he chases women. I believe all women should be financially independent in a marriage to avoid these issues.

NLbeachparty:
A lady should be financially dependant not just to be comfortable to herself but also to have self confidence in herself.

For more information on the nairaland beach party check my signature and profile.

Benita27:
Lol.
You enjoy argument.

humilitypays:
‎Why do Nigerian ladies have this pre-determined mindset that the only rich guys are those working in oil companies

For you ladies info, lots of firms are paying more than oil companies, and funny enough, such organizations don't usually have big name neither are they popular unless u are an insider, u won't know that they earn fat....before u shout, the last company I worked with pay more than most intl oil firms, and for your info, we had lots of foreign staffs.

It's only naive people that think oil company workers earn the highest pay or income.

Do u know most guys that sell things at Ladipo market, Alaba intl market, trade fair, oshodi clothing market, balogun, ikeja computer village, etc earn more than most top oil company workers in a day‎

Some of these business guys make between NGN10,000 - NGN150,000 profit on a daily basis, multiply that by 30 days, you will find out that some business men in Nigeria earn far better than most company directors and managers and they can acquire landed properties worth millions with ease whereas the white collar guys u see in big company vehicles with driver live/depend on company loans, stealing of company funds, cooperative loans, welfare and borrowing.

‎
Pls stop using oil company workers as a reference of successful Nigerian men, it has become stale and old fashioned abeg‎

To the top: very insightful write-up, well done @rapmoney, preach on if they would listen

NLbeachparty:
A lady should be financially dependant not just to be comfortable to herself but also to have self confidence in herself. The

For more information on the nairaland beach party check my signature and profile.

Laveda:
I hope you saw the part where I also said a man is supposed to provide for his woman?

tobianthony:
I was listening to the radio some months ago . The author of the yellow sun ,that lady ,can't recall her name said something during this interview : Nigerian male children are brought up to believe that you are not a man if you can't spend money or have money to provide for a woman ...

Well , a lot of us if not all of us have this mindset . If you accept to bear all financial responsibility during dating ,your partner will feel that you should continue this responsibility solely for the rest of your life .

On a date some women will ask what's our budget can we splurge ? Some wetin concern them order away . Others will offer to pay part of the bill ....

If you do not talk about your financial ideologies before marriage ...it could create problems .

Anyway we men to are partly to blame to ... For this .

There's nothing wrong in being materialistic as far as you are willing to work and acquire these objects ...its when you sit down @ home and demand that your partner give you these things ,without wanting to at least play your part that issues will manifest ...

Debra911:
I really love this topic, let's be factual. From Adam, a man s meant to provide for the wife, cos it not easy; the wife carries his baby for 9months, go through rigorous task in giving birth to the child, trains this child to make sure, he/she doesn't go astray cos wat this child becomes in future will be traced to the family background, thesame wife must take care of husband, do the house chores... All these are enough reasons for the hubby to take care of the wife, that's why sometimes, Islam don't support their girls to go through western education, according to them, they are meant for the home , all these are logically true but today, 21st century, everything has changed, the economy is no more favourable, wat if the breadwinner(hubby) dies along the line? what if the breadwinner lose his job due to the economy meltdown? it'll be more difficult for the wife to raise her poor kids, because of these reasons, women are forced to take up the challenge of being a mother and also a breadwinner at the same time. women are called to be independent, to be strong cos they've got to take up two challenges I.e being a mother & at the same time to be financially independent, inorder to become a helpmate to her spouse in d 'rainy days. Any lady who s not ready to take up these challenge can not survive in the real world.

Rapmoney:
Have you ever supported me on any issue?

TEVLI:
[color=#688E23]Tell them o!! My uncle who recently got married is broke, Makes me wonder if "He who has found a Good Wife" has really found a good thing?? Or just another Money-Siphoning Stuff[/color]

TheSociopath:
Thos os fp worthy. I always wonder too. Some women just want to experience how a wedding day looks like. Done just want to get married because of post pressure. Marriage is more than that. A woman with money and vision commands respect from her husband

Laveda:
I'm sure any right thinking lady knows this.

But a man should be able to provide for his woman.

ikp120:
YEEEAAAH!!!

It goes both ways baby!

***Dancing skelewu***

I dey pray for gender equality to come into full force, make all these babes wey dey whine up and down start to dey work their ass out just the way guys work their ass out, not leeching on guys in a relationship.

Laveda:
I'm sure any right thinking lady knows this.
But a man should be able to provide for his woman.

uzoexcel:
words on marble from A SOCIOPATH
ironic

Rapmoney:
Most women will only discover the importance of financial independence when they lose their husbands or when he's no longer capable of providing for the family. My sympathy.

Diplomaticbeing:
There's nothing wrong with a lady who's unavoidably financial dependent talking about marriage/going into marriage - so long as her partner is financially able. Inadequacy of money doesn't automatically make a lady (person) visionless or lazy.

In fact, if left with an option to choose between a greedy/covetous lady (who's buoyant and at the zenith of her career) and a visionless/lazy lady I would sure go for the latter.

So far so good, I like a lady who's ambitious but not greedy/covetous/lazy/visionless one. Perspective not immediate financial status is what defines one's exeptionality or lack of it.

zaragal:
Ur name fits u well

Rapmoney:
When I see some young financially dependent ladies talking and planning excitedly to tie the knot with a man as fast as possible, I can't help but wonder if they are actually planning for the actual 'married life' or just the wedding day

Financial independence in marriage, as it is required for men, is also required for women; just that the proportion of its importance could vary for both genders. It beats my imagination to know that most of us who claim to 'study' the Bible have failed to realize the fact that women are meant to be helpers in all ramifications as regards marriage and not some idle hands who enter marriage financially unprepared. I am not saying women should compete financially with men in marriage; what I am saying in essence is that women should also exhibit some level of financial independence or capacity in order to achieve a financially stable family setting in marriage! It is one very reason why I have always encourage our Nigerian mothers to teach their daughters home-made entrepreneurial skills right from the tender years. They should not be given that orientation that their main role in the life of a man is just to consume what has been brought in without any form of contribution. The era of 'OBIAGELI' (coming to eat) is fast fading away; in fact, it is quickly losing its ground. This could catapault them to be more productive than the typical young Nigerian ladies that sit and hope for financial freedom as soon as they get married to a man. This makes marriage seem like an occupation rather than a legal union where the woman is expected to play the role of helper. I have said it severally that men respect women who go out to win the akara while they (the men) go out to win the bread. It is not good for a woman to just be the bread and akara eater altogether. The consequences of such situation mostly take the form of the children/family suffering when the man loses the capacity to 'win the bread' due to ill- health, turn of events, retrenchment, etc.

As a young lady, you should discover yourself and identify your vision/purpose occupational-wise before you delve into marriage, else you become a marital burden who cannot contribute meaningfully in building a family of your dream. Have you ever thought about what could happen if the man loses his livelihood? Can you carry on from where he stopped temporarily? Or will you allow your entire family to go out there to beg because you came into the picture with nothing and has refused to be productive?

The way the Nigerian economy stands today, it is even suppose to be a pre-condition that our young women are engaged in professions, trade, business or investments that make them financially independent before they think of marriage. This is not 1928!!! Things are changing...think about it!
Discover yourself first; don't expect a man to help you discover yourself and give you financial freedom! Marriage is not an escape route out of poverty! It is a legal union...play your role!

Financially dependent ladies who talk about marriage lack vision. This is my opinion.

Good morning everyone!

kretoz:
I don't know why we ladies are still deceiving ourselves, Initially, I was of the idea that Men must provide everything for their family, Not until I came across a write up on Nairaland that says Anyone above 15 should be working, The next day, I woke up from bed and started my job hunt, I got one very close to where we live and my salary then was 8k monthly lol, You need to see the way My parents laughed at me whenever I'm on my way to work, In fact, they was a day my Mum sat me down to tell me that I was disgracing her by doing such job, The truth is that I'm not from a wealthy family but we are comfortable to an extent, however I didn't give up, I decided to engage in other jobs such as home lesson for those that want it and that was how I started making 18k monthly, I later resigned when I got admission and wrote my final exams last month and when I got home, I find difficult staying at home doing nothing, I decided to go job hunting again, I got a job of with salary more than five times higher than my first salary. I got it with out my certificate, just O Level, Why did I share this story, I want ladies to know that the era of "Oriaku "has gone, this is the era of "Osodozie aku" Husband and wife will both bring and arrange their finances together . I find it difficult to stay at home all day that was why I decided to work in the first place despite the fact that my parents provides all my needs, You need to see how my Mum was hailing me when I got this my recent job, telling me that she is proud of me, She said that no man wants a liability and that If Husband and wife both contribute to the table, the family can never starve, And that is why I want to tell ladies that are dependent to please look for a job, try and establish your self and believe me it's only a lady that is working that knows the value of money, if not, the lady will want to eat everything she sees on the road and will always complain her husband does not give her much even if she was given 100k monthly for house up keep, please ladies learn to work educated or not, get something doing if not sweetie you are in for a long bumpy ride

Diplomaticbeing:
Since it takes a thief to catch a thief, I've to conclude that you're equally of the diplomatic ethical leaning. Meanwhile, you've a lovely DP.

Compliments of the season.

ikp120:
YEEEAAAH!!!

It goes both ways baby!

***Dancing skelewu***

I dey pray for gender equality to come into full force, make all these babes wey dey whine up and down start to dey work their ass out just the way guys work their ass out, not leeching on guys in a relationship.

Laveda:
I'm sure any right thinking lady knows this.

But a man should be able to provide for his woman.

uzuede4:
Op are you broke? You dey find woman wey you go depend on for marriage? You men don't even know what you want. Please, leave women alone.Na una go pursue us come na una go still complain wetin be una problem sef Op are you broke? You dey find woman wey you go depend on for marriage? You men don't even know what you want. Please, leave women alone.Na una go pursue us come na una go still complain wetin be una problem sef

Benita27:
I beg to differ bro @ the embolden. Let's take a look at two real examples.

My landlord is a Yoruba Muslim, works with shell BP, wife Yoruba too who's a degree holder, but for some reasons she's a full house wife. mind you, he has money to set up a business for her if he won't let her go into the labour market to scout for jobs, but he didn't, their first child is 14 so you can guess how long they've been married. I see it as they're doing what works for them in their marriage.

Second lady is a Uniben graduate, her husband works with Shell too, now he asked her not to work but pays her salary for seating at home on monthly basis, and is working for them...i wouldn't say it's because these men are not enlightened, they have their reasons.

I personally wouldn't want to be one of these wives in the future, still can't condemn such women for their decisions cos marriage is about compatibility, if a man is ok with his wife not working, and the wife is ok being a full house wife, then so be it.