₦airaland Forum

jeff1607:
This question has been bothering me for quite a while now, how do men or husbands cope with their wives when they give more attention and care to the kids and you feel all left out. I wouldn't like to generalise here but why is it a common thing in marriages same applies for single moms too when they shield and put more focus on their kids rather than helping the spark glow.

Some women not all are on the defensive when the husband tends to shrug that stuff out.

please would need experienced minds mostly the men to help explain or proffer a solution in getting round this without causing misunderstanding or bad blood

RadicallyBlunt:
Lol. This poster above don mad o.

Well same way women feel when man put all him attention for work like its d job he married and would still expect his wife to be supporting and asking about it.

So the best option is for him to join hands with his wife and support her in nurturing the kids together or help her with some chores. Afterall the children are not hers alone. And he should stop complaining. Life na turn by turn.

By supporting her, she'll feel loved then gradually he can express his starved sexual feeling to her, believe me she would suddenly realize she needs it too. Body no be stone.

Divay22:
Are you married

RadicallyBlunt:
Wanna marry me?

Divay22:
Nah .....just that i felt you wrote out of experience ,nice one though......
Kudos

RadicallyBlunt:
Thanks I'm single but hope to find my missen rib soon.

Divay22:
Don't worry,2017 is ready to give you her....
Good luck

aameyah:
Most women fall out of love with their husbands by the time the kids start coming. This "falling out of love" is often due to the man's uncaring, cheating and autocratic nature.

When the child comes, the mom pours all her love on him/her (have you heard the advise women give each other? Ignore him and focus on your kids) which is so easy because the love mummy is getting from the kids is so unconditional and pure. The kids love her when she is soiled with kitchen work. They love her even when she stinks of stale breast milk and her tummy is bulging like that of a pregnant woman. She remains beautiful mummy.

The child grows up and leaves to get married and then poor old mum becomes a monster in law because she lived all her life for the kids and can't bear to lose them to another.

jeff1607:
This question has been bothering me for quite a while now, how do men or husbands cope with their wives when they give more attention and care to the kids and you feel all left out. I wouldn't like to generalise here but why is it a common thing in marriages same applies for single moms too when they shield and put more focus on their kids rather than helping the spark glow.

Some women not all are on the defensive when the husband tends to shrug that stuff out.

please would need experienced minds mostly the men to help explain or proffer a solution in getting round this without causing misunderstanding or bad blood

jeff1607:
This question has been bothering me for quite a while now, how do men or husbands cope with their wives when they give more attention and care to the kids and you feel all left out. I wouldn't like to generalise here but why is it a common thing in marriages same applies for single moms too when they shield and put

kennygee:
He should join in giving attention to the kids the same time his wife is doing it so they can save time and be together.

Or he can relieve her of some of the things she does for the kids, like help the kids out with their home work while she cooks, bathe the kids while she is cleaning up. Then when y'all are both done, you can have some time together.

lastpage:
I know how you feel Bro!

But if you really want to REVERSE the situation, just employ a very beautiful, matured House maid (between 18 and 21yrs old.

Start dotting on her and buying her gifts (l did not say start phucking her o!)...... and you would see how your wife quickly starts paying attention to you!

Women do these things deliberately to make you feel unimportant.


TWO can play the Game!




Lastpage!

RadicallyBlunt:
Lol. This poster above don mad o.

Well same way women feel when man put all him attention for work like its d job he married and would still expect his wife to be supporting and asking about it.

So the best option is for him to join hands with his wife and support her in nurturing the kids together or help her with some chores. Afterall the children are not hers alone. And he should stop complaining. Life na turn by turn.

By supporting her, she'll feel loved then gradually he can express his starved sexual feeling to her, believe me she would suddenly realize she needs it too. Body no be stone.

dominique:
Is he a baby?

WomanOfRace:
Are you married or talking about another couple?

If yes, then talk to your wife about how you feel, though she may try to point out few things why you can't get more from her. Try help her out with the kids because such whole attention diversion arises at times , when the man leaves taking care of the kids alone for the wife.

Again, when you start giving your wife the impression, her romance life with you ends after honeymoon and first baby, depending on her temperament, she may resign to her fate and face the kids. It takes communication, understanding and two to work things out in marriage.

Spice it up.

Note: Don't run her down with demands, she is already handling a lot.

To be a wife, a mother, and home keeper demands a lot from a woman.

jeff1607:
This question has been bothering me for quite a while now, how do men or husbands cope with their wives when they give more attention and care to the kids and you feel all left out. I wouldn't like to generalise here but why is it a common thing in marriages same applies for single moms too when they shield and put more focus on their kids rather than helping the spark glow.

Some women not all are on the defensive when the husband tends to shrug that stuff out.

please would need experienced minds mostly the men to help explain or proffer a solution in getting round this without causing misunderstanding or bad blood

jeff1607:
This question has been bothering me for quite a while now, how do men or husbands cope with their wives when they give more attention and care to the kids and you feel all left out. I wouldn't like to generalise here but why is it a common thing in marriages same applies for single moms too when they shield and put more focus on their kids rather than helping the spark glow.

Some women not all are on the defensive when the husband tends to shrug that stuff out.

please would need experienced minds mostly the men to help explain or proffer a solution in getting round this without causing misunderstanding or bad blood

jeff1607:
This question has been bothering me for quite a while now, how do men or husbands cope with their wives when they give more attention and care to the kids and you feel all left out. I wouldn't like to generalise here but why is it a common thing in marriages same applies for single moms too when they shield and put more focus on their kids rather than helping the spark glow.

Some women not all are on the defensive when the husband tends to shrug that stuff out.

please would need experienced minds mostly the men to help explain or proffer a solution in getting round this without causing misunderstanding or bad blood

jeff1607:
This question has been bothering me for quite a while now, how do men or husbands cope with their wives when they give more attention and care to the kids and you feel all left out. I wouldn't like to generalise here but why is it a common thing in marriages same applies for single moms too when they shield and put more focus on their kids rather than helping the spark glow.

Some women not all are on the defensive when the husband tends to shrug that stuff out.

please would need experienced minds mostly the men to help explain or proffer a solution in getting round this without causing misunderstanding or bad blood

Raine80:
This is not a uncommon feeling and kudos to you for raising a very common but unspoken problem.
Many women and some men overlook that a marriage and having a relationship are not one of the same.

Some men forget that motherhood is another layer to the many roles a woman takes up in a marriage. Some women neglect one and focus on the ohther. They are two things but they must co-exist to achieve an equilibrium. A man will feel left out especially in our culture where child rearing is seen as purely the domain of women. Why do we make fun of the man who feeds, washes and even carries his own children on his back. I recall an article on this forum where many had issue with this man who had his child on his back while his wife sat an exam.

We practice child rearing that puts the man as a disciplinarian and not that of a nurturing parent. I am not talking about men being neutered of their role. Some of the comments here shed light regarding mindset intresting how politics seep into things or used as responses irrelevant of course but that is the society we live in.

I understand your question and concerns and it is up to you to start having a relationship again. To be part of your children's lives so you do not feel excluded. Time alone with your your wife, then time alone wth the family. The answer lies in how you refocus your priorities. When did you last have a date night?

midolian:
No b d husband baby too?

Proudlyngwa:
Sorry I saw this late.
Do not mind all these trolls and baby adults who know nothing about psychology.
Anybody not getting enough attention in a relationship irrespective of the course is bad , sometimes it can be caused not just by kids, but friends , family members, work or even t.v
This case though we are going to look at kids.
First thing , how long has this been going on.
How romantic was the relationship b4 this was noticed.
Have a heart to heart discussion taken place.
If yes , was the outcome the kids are more important the answer.
If yes then this is a concern, as the kids are more important is a wrong answer.
1. She could have something on her mind which she feels she can work out on her own, health fatigue job stress, and is using the kids to deflect attention.
2. She could be getting back to you something you did or you are doing unknowingly.
There are many more but everything is on a speculation base untilnwe know about that heart to heart talk.

ogawisdom:
The kids shld need more attention than the man, d man shld be glad to have a wife that takes good care of his kids and stop looking for attention like kids all the time

Bigsteveg:
It's not a very good thing and it's most common among the women. They tend to forget that the child will go to school and get married later in life and leave you two alone. The husband needs to be calm in this case,
1. The husband need to sit d wife down and talk some sense into her, d woman might not realize what she's doing is wrong.
2. If this continues, divert your attention to something else not neglecting the family tho, a good wife should know something is wrong

The only matured response here. Most of the persons commenting here have never experienced marriage and probably too young to understand what the op is saying. It is quite frustrating. I will advice op not to take matters to the heart. Sit her down and make her understand her action. Don't neglect your family. Join hands in keeping the home too. Avoid seeking revenge by going out to drink or engage in extra marital affairs. Do some other wholesome activities