How Does A Husband Cope With A Wife Who Gives More Attention To The Kids - Family (4)

How Does A Husband Cope With A Wife Who Gives More Attention To The Kids - Family (4) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Family › How Does A Husband Cope With A Wife Who Gives More Attention To The Kids (33782 Views)

1 2 3 4 5 Reply (Go Down)

Re: How Does A Husband Cope With A Wife Who Gives More Attention To The Kids by oloriooko(m): 7:55am On Jan 02, 2017

jeff1607:
This question has been bothering me for quite a while now, how do men or husbands cope with their wives when they give more attention and care to the kids and you feel all left out. I wouldn't like to generalise here but why is it a common thing in marriages same applies for single moms too when they shield and put more focus on their kids rather than helping the spark glow.

Some women not all are on the defensive when the husband tends to shrug that stuff out.

please would need experienced minds mostly the men to help explain or proffer a solution in getting round this without causing misunderstanding or bad blood

OP your topic should read "how does a partner cope with a spouse who gives more attention to the kids"
It happens to both not only the husband

It's quite easy to shift the focus of ones love to the kids seeing kids need attention care and love but a smart spouse should consistently reiterate to the spouse how important he or she is and assure such that in the family hierarchy the spouse comes before the kids
It's just a matter of communication and understanding

2 Likes

Re: How Does A Husband Cope With A Wife Who Gives More Attention To The Kids by LastProphet: 7:56am On Jan 02, 2017

what other attention does a grown up man need? this is the woman that will live with you till death do you part so what's the fuse about getting attention again? dont you the man have serious dreams and goals to pursue? don't you have problems to solve? after kids start coming is it not obvious that the attention couples give each other will reduce? and iscthis not an opportunity to have the freedom to pursue other high goals of life? what kind of childish generation of men are we raising in this age?

3 Likes

Re: How Does A Husband Cope With A Wife Who Gives More Attention To The Kids by Quintessential1(f): 7:58am On Jan 02, 2017

jakandeola:
is very wrong cos any woman dat does dat doesnt want save her marrage.beforr children, u have man as husband yhe children will grow yet the husband remain d same. a woman belong to her husband simple as abc

What's this one saying? undecided

Re: How Does A Husband Cope With A Wife Who Gives More Attention To The Kids by Annibiteye: 7:59am On Jan 02, 2017

You misunderstand the word "attention" as implied my OP.
It's not about sex, it is about care and showing love[/quote]sex is also involved, read up his post again, the second paragraph. quoted below:

"Some women not all are on the defensive when the husband tends to shrug that stuff out"

op expressed the sexual aspect idiomatically.

op can correct me if am wrong

Re: How Does A Husband Cope With A Wife Who Gives More Attention To The Kids by Nobody: 8:02am On Jan 02, 2017

When a man starts cheating, the love the woman has first him gradually dwindles and she transfers it to the kids. Most times this is the case of women who stayed in abusive marriage just for the kids

3 Likes

Re: How Does A Husband Cope With A Wife Who Gives More Attention To The Kids by Annibiteye: 8:10am On Jan 02, 2017

Bluezy13:
You misunderstand the word "attention" as implied my OP.
It's not about sex, it is about care and showing love

Annibiteye:
You misunderstand the word "attention" as implied my OP.
It's not about sex, it is about care and showing love

sex is also involved, read up his post again, the second paragraph. quoted below:

"Some women not all are on the defensive when the husband tends to shrug that stuff out"

op expressed the sexual aspect idiomatically.

op can correct me if am wrong

[quote author=Bluezy13 post=524540

Re: How Does A Husband Cope With A Wife Who Gives More Attention To The Kids by Exponental(m): 8:12am On Jan 02, 2017

Get her 2 house helps, one as. a full time nanny and the other for house chores, I bet, you can phuck ur wife when u want cos she won't complain about being tired always.

Re: How Does A Husband Cope With A Wife Who Gives More Attention To The Kids by Exponental(m): 8:13am On Jan 02, 2017

Op is sex starved...sorry!
Get her 2 house helps, one as a full time nanny and the other for house chores, I bet, you can phuck ur wife when u want cos she won't complain about being tired always.

1 Like

Re: How Does A Husband Cope With A Wife Who Gives More Attention To The Kids by metallisc(m): 8:27am On Jan 02, 2017

kennygee:
He should join in giving attention to the kids the same time his wife is doing it so they can save time and be together.

Or he can relieve her of some of the things she does for the kids, like help the kids out with their home work while she cooks, bathe the kids while she is cleaning up. Then when y'all are both done, you can have some time together.

i been don tell you before - marry me, you no gree! cheesy

see as you just dey make sense throway! oya now, make i carry the wine come? cheesy

Re: How Does A Husband Cope With A Wife Who Gives More Attention To The Kids by Psoul(m): 8:28am On Jan 02, 2017

All these bachelors and spinsters commenting here, u wont understand hw the guy feels. Please your love for your children should not make u to have a quality time for your partner. Love your kids and have time for ur husband and wife. Without dis, one will tend to find love outside the home. Raw truth.

4 Likes

Re: How Does A Husband Cope With A Wife Who Gives More Attention To The Kids by Greenbullet(m): 8:41am On Jan 02, 2017

people here will castigate the op for being jealous and childish,people who say this are immature and inexperienced, you don't know how it feels to be left alone in the room,no freedom with your wife any longer cause of kids.

3 Likes

Re: How Does A Husband Cope With A Wife Who Gives More Attention To The Kids by fauziej31(f): 8:53am On Jan 02, 2017

RadicallyBlunt:
Well same way women feel when man put all him attention for work like its d job he married and would still expect his wife to be supporting and asking about it.

So the best option is for him to join hands with his wife and support her in nurturing the kids together or help her with some chores. Afterall the children are not hers alone. And he should stop complaining. Life na turn by turn.

By supporting her, she'll feel loved then gradually he can express his starved sexual feeling to her, believe me she would suddenly realize she needs it too. Body no be stone.

Best reply.

Re: How Does A Husband Cope With A Wife Who Gives More Attention To The Kids by Nobody: 8:58am On Jan 02, 2017

willibounce1:
Oga are you not supposed to be happy to have a wife who is giving your children all the attention.? Na you she wan give attention before? Abi all the attention you gave each before and after marriage never do..

You better thank God you have a wife who is giving 100% to your children...e no go pass Phuck wey dey make you complain...

as in eh, the matter tire me o, op, if you want her to have more time on her hands for you, then help her in doing the ones you can in taking care of the kids, simple, yes kids put a strain on intimacy between a couple, but adjustments is what us needed, and please don't bother telling your wife about this, don't ask me why, what you need is to show her your support and help out,every thing will fall into place

Re: How Does A Husband Cope With A Wife Who Gives More Attention To The Kids by bigpsalmmy: 9:11am On Jan 02, 2017

Reading some comments are quite intresting. What we should all know is that without the man there is no children, before the children she only had d man. This makes d man her 1st and most important baby wink

, d kids will grow, get married and leave but she would b stock wit d man for lyf, not d kids. so wen nxt ur gal or wify calls u baby, ask if she really knows wat she's saying. So a woman who giv more attention to d kids n neglect d husband, should know she's creating room for him to fall prey to another hunter out dere. And i guess we know how devastating dat could even b for d children she claim to luv more. So i recommend to d man, shower ur kids wit luv especial gift, if possible bath dem n take dem out. But ignore dis gud deeds to madam. Instead ocupy ursef wit other profitable ventures n do like u dnt bother too. Trust me, if shes got brains she would com back asking y all d confusion, den u can educate her grin

Re: How Does A Husband Cope With A Wife Who Gives More Attention To The Kids by jakandeola(m): 9:17am On Jan 02, 2017

Quintessential1:
What's this one saying?

ask ur mummy

Re: How Does A Husband Cope With A Wife Who Gives More Attention To The Kids by Nobody: 9:18am On Jan 02, 2017

aameyah:
The child grows up and leaves to get married and then poor old mum becomes a monster in law because she lived all her life for the kids and can't bear to lose them to another.

Exactly...
God should help us to focus on our marriages too. These children will leave to build their own homes one day. Then what becomes of our own marriages?
Many couples and women never consider this.

Re: How Does A Husband Cope With A Wife Who Gives More Attention To The Kids by godunia(m): 9:30am On Jan 02, 2017

Give your attention to something too, like side chic... lol. Like seriously it's painful, you got married to kill loneliness but at the you are alone in your own house cos she prefers attending to the kids. Sometimes they eat and forget about you, return from work and no food. I don find my bearing my brother, happy man

Re: How Does A Husband Cope With A Wife Who Gives More Attention To The Kids by NifemiOlu(m): 9:32am On Jan 02, 2017

Buy yourself a PS4. Equity achieved.

Re: How Does A Husband Cope With A Wife Who Gives More Attention To The Kids by swtdrms(m): 10:07am On Jan 02, 2017

bukatyne:
This mostly happens when the couple no longer have a marriage and all they have left is their family or when the husband leaves the childcare totally to the wife.

If it's one, let them rekindle their love

If it's two, let him pitch in more or get a maid (favorite suggestions now).

You seem to be intelligent going by some of your posts, if thats how u actually are, it means all hope is not lost for our generation as majority of our ladies who later become our wives are empty headed.

Keep it up please!

1 Like

Re: How Does A Husband Cope With A Wife Who Gives More Attention To The Kids by dasparrow: 10:19am On Jan 02, 2017

Greenbullet:
people here will castigate the op for being jealous and childish,people who say this are immature and inexperienced, you don't know how it feels to be left alone in the room,no freedom with your wife any longer cause of kids.

Abeg stop complaining. Then you should not have had the kids so that you can have your wife's full attention forever. I don't know why some of you want to eat your cake and have it it too.

2 Likes

Re: How Does A Husband Cope With A Wife Who Gives More Attention To The Kids by no1madman(m): 10:31am On Jan 02, 2017

U no dey chop d thing d way u want . .i see

Re: How Does A Husband Cope With A Wife Who Gives More Attention To The Kids by Greenbullet(m): 10:43am On Jan 02, 2017

dasparrow:
Abeg stop complaining. Then you should not have had the kids so that you can have your wife's full attention forever. I don't know why some of you want to eat your cake and have it it too.

thank you.

1 Like

Re: How Does A Husband Cope With A Wife Who Gives More Attention To The Kids by WomanOfRace(f): 11:00am On Jan 02, 2017

jeff1607:
I ain't married but considering it, was only pondering about it considering the fact men in marriages silently complain about this

alright.

Re: How Does A Husband Cope With A Wife Who Gives More Attention To The Kids by WomanOfRace(f): 11:00am On Jan 02, 2017

jeff1607:
I ain't married but considering it, was only pondering about it considering the fact men in marriages silently complain about this

Alright.

Re: How Does A Husband Cope With A Wife Who Gives More Attention To The Kids by bukatyne(f): 11:32am On Jan 02, 2017

swtdrms:
You seem to be intelligent going by some of your posts, if thats how u actually are, it means all hope is not lost for our generation as majority of our ladies who later become our wives are empty headed.

Keep it up please!

Lol @ 'if that's how you actually are'...

Thank you

Re: How Does A Husband Cope With A Wife Who Gives More Attention To The Kids by gabicon: 11:45am On Jan 02, 2017

Simple, get involved. Help her care for the kids and do some chores around the house, you can periodically buy dinner for the family just to make sure she doesn't cook all the time, also you can buy morden home appliances that help reduce work, during the holidays u can let the children go spend time with their grandparents, I believe these steps will automatically reduce her work load reduces there by creating time for Mr husband

2 Likes

Re: How Does A Husband Cope With A Wife Who Gives More Attention To The Kids by swtdrms(m): 12:05pm On Jan 02, 2017

[

bukatyne:
Lol @ 'if that's how you actually are'...

Thank you

You are welcome

Re: How Does A Husband Cope With A Wife Who Gives More Attention To The Kids by cerowo(f): 12:13pm On Jan 02, 2017*

The only way out here is 4 u to assist her with the children or house chores

Re: How Does A Husband Cope With A Wife Who Gives More Attention To The Kids by dennymade(m): 12:16pm On Jan 02, 2017

This is the only sincere post I've come across on marriage because it is based on emotional experience of the man.

Most often , men are often more aged than their spouse which often make us commander in chief in our home. To us with our age, and resources at our disposal we should be able to command every thing around us including our wives and get a humble and positive response. But alas, this is only true with other things and people excluding your wife.

The most pretentious being I've ever seen are menfolk. Even though most men are not often happy loosing this authority to our wife, yet the society are in support of womenfolk.

Even women, irrespective of how younger they are compete with their spouse to wrench the authority from them. That is when you hear this kind of statement from them: "I'm your wife for God's sake - not your servant" or I'm I your slave? While the women attempt to control everything and met stiff resistance from men. They often succumb to cold war.

Since children are the only puppet that can be easily control and mould. Women divert all their attention and love toward them.
While they do this, they also withhold the major weapon, "sex" where the men's weakness lie. While they do this, the marriage suffers, the union is threatened.

Nevertheless, the womenfolk have forgotten that men called them into the relationship. And have ability to call somebody else. Though, also , the pretentious society also frown at this.

To hit the nail on the head, most often, especially young marriage often goes through this stage. Even, pastor, men of God are the worst affected. Nobody wants to listen nor say the truth lest they are called names.

Well Christianity enjoins us to endure it, pray fervently about it and talk it over regularly with our spouse. My advice for womenfolk is that if they refuse to sub pedal the children they claim they love will eventually be the victim of the discord.

Re: How Does A Husband Cope With A Wife Who Gives More Attention To The Kids by Acidosis(m): 1:02pm On Jan 02, 2017

very funny thread.

Business will certainly boom for professional side chicks in the coming years.

1 Like

Re: How Does A Husband Cope With A Wife Who Gives More Attention To The Kids by obi123: 2:16pm On Jan 02, 2017

Bigsteveg:
It's not a very good thing and it's most common among the women. They tend to forget that the child will go to school and get married later in life and leave you two alone. The husband needs to be calm in this case,
1. The husband need to sit d wife down and talk some sense into her, d woman might not realize what she's doing is wrong.
2. If this continues, divert your attention to something else not neglecting the family tho, a good wife should know something is wrong

The husband needs to grow up and put himself in the woman's position, it is the hardest thing to be a mum and it's very easy to become overwhelmed,the needs of a child talkless of children are endless and unless you are a primary caregiver you would never understand.
Clearly the woman is overworked and overwhelmed by her duties as a mum, the husband needs to either get help for her or pitch in so that some of the woman's time is freed up and that freed up time can be directed to him.

Is she just sitting down watching tv? Is food not prepared? Are the kids not taken care of?laundry? Upkeep of the home nko? All that is human effort and it takes time, a lot of time,in between she is ensuring that the kids don't drink bleach or throw themselves off the balcony or harm themselves in numerous possible ways , only a selfish SOB will not acknowledge the amount of effort it takes to keep kids safe

What the woman needs is help not some stupid selfish induced discussion about his stupid needs

Re: How Does A Husband Cope With A Wife Who Gives More Attention To The Kids by Bluezy13(m): 2:35pm On Jan 02, 2017

Annibiteye:
sex is also involved, read up his post again, the second paragraph. quoted below:

"Some women not all are on the defensive when the husband tends to shrug that stuff out"

op expressed the sexual aspect idiomatically.
op can correct me if am wrong

Sex is also involved
That means not entirely about sex, as implied by the bolded.

1 2 3 4 5 Reply

I Was A Husband: My Experience • Pastor David Ekwueme Celebrates Wife Who Agreed To Marry Him When He Had Nothing • Ugandan Man Dies After Bumping Into Wife Who Claimed She Traveled Abroad • 2 • 3 • 4

How Do I Chase Away My Inlaws From My House • Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter • Husband Buys Car For Side Chick, Abandons 4 Kids, Wife