Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter - Family - Nairaland
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| Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by smilelane: 8:01am On Dec 27, 2013 |
I once had a relationship with a lady while in university. Before I could come back from one sessional holiday, She has welshed on me. Unfortunately, communication gadgets weren't a commonplace at the time. However, I got in touch with her close friend who said she has decided to drop-out of school and move to settle with family in another region of Nigeria away from mine. I couldn't get any immediate information from her said friend on why my girlfriend will take such decision without letting me in. I had no choice than to move on. **************************************************************************************** fast-forward to 8+ later: I happened upon her friend and we shared warm pleasantry and memories. Before she bade me well, she left a sour pill in my mouth. She innocently/cunningly threw in that I have a daughter from her friend(my ex). I asked to stop it once if that was meant to be a joke. She said she was saying the truth but won't discuss it any further if I wasn't keen about it. By this time, I was both furious and disinterested and eventually called her bluff. A year later after that meeting, her word kept ringing on my heart and I somewhat was able to get her number to call her about what she told me. To my greatest surprise, she confirmed it and has connected me with her friend who is now married. I have seen the baby girl on facebook. She looks exactly like me! But I am also married now. So, how do I start telling my family and my wife especially? My wife doesn't look like anyone that will take the news calmly. 14 Likes |
| Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by Nobody: 8:06am On Dec 27, 2013 |
Hmmm 2 Likes |
| Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by Pretyangel25(f): 8:07am On Dec 27, 2013 |
This is a serious case o 3 Likes |
| Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by thorpido(m): 8:08am On Dec 27, 2013 |
You have to confirm she is indeed your child.You said she looks like you but you will have to get the word from the mum and if need be,do a DNA test. If it's confirmed,you will have to let your wife and family know about it.It was not like you cheated on your wife.It already happened before you met her.The child is here and you will have to take responsibility. 80 Likes |
| Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by bigfree: 8:27am On Dec 27, 2013 |
@op. You do nothing!!! take care of your family and let her take care of hers. Even if the child is yours; after nine years you wanna play father or what? The child has a father and he is not you. 24 Likes |
| Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by mikael78: 8:30am On Dec 27, 2013 |
All I can say is Eyaaaaaaaa!!! 12 Likes |
| Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by chymystique(f): 8:34am On Dec 27, 2013 |
U tell her exactly wah u ve written here for us to read... And tell her soonst.. If she rily loves u she will understand n nt cause probs.. (Tho she mit b unhappy abt et).. Me I dnt pray for this kinda situation oo.. 3 Likes |
| Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by Sohot1(m): 8:41am On Dec 27, 2013 |
U were lucky dat d lady is very cool-headed ooo... Anyway, jst wisely discuss it with conserned parties best wishes |
| Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by baralatie(m): 8:45am On Dec 27, 2013 |
Gbeun gbeun! Action wan start! 1 Like |
| Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by KELVINXY: 8:45am On Dec 27, 2013 |
One simple question plz Did ur Ex let u knw of d child? Since the lady in question(ur ex) dint inform u of d issue,I suggest u let it be dat way n live ur normal life for d peace of ur family n ur Ex too. Imagine wat wil erupt if dis issue comes into d picture.?! By d way CONGRATS 2 Likes |
| Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by smilelane: 8:47am On Dec 27, 2013 |
chymystique: U tell her exactly wah u ve written here for us to read... And tell her soonst.. If she rily loves u she will understand n nt cause probs.. (Tho she mit b unhappy abt et).. It isn't that easy but I have no choice, do I? Odd enough, my wife asked me keenly if I had any child outside before our marriage. She said she doesn't think she can possibly cope with such. Now what she dread most has happpened! |
| Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by smilelane: 8:49am On Dec 27, 2013 |
So hot: U were lucky dat d lady is very cool-headed ooo... My wife isn't aware yet! Or which lady do u refer as cool-headed? 1 Like |
| Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by smilelane: 8:56am On Dec 27, 2013 |
KELVIN-XY: I am now in contact with her. She said she had searched for my location to no avail. And her daughter is increasingly sensitive about the whereabout of her dad. She did me a disfavour. Now, am going to look like a trickster. |
| Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by Dygeasy(m): 9:05am On Dec 27, 2013 |
KELVIN-XY:Guyyyyy! Live Which Normal Life? With The Though Of Your Probable Daughter Somewhere? You Nor Try. If The OP's Wife Is Matured As She Should Be, There Shouldn't Be Any Problem I'm Taking The News. What Has She Got To Lose? The Best Thing The OP Can Do In This Case Is; Confirm The Paternity Of The Supposed Child, Reach An Agreement With The Mother, Let Her Keep The Child, Send Them Money For Upkeeps (not like they might need it anyway) Let His Present Wife Know About It, Let His Other Kids If Grown Know They Have A Big Sis. I Don't Think Any Of These Should Be Hard  30 Likes |
| Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by bellong: 9:05am On Dec 27, 2013 |
Op, How do I advice you on what you didn't do intentionally (going by your explanation)? You are scared of how your wife will take the issue. There is an adage in Yoruba, "No matter how big a statement is, you wouldn't use a knife to dissect it.." Meaning, no matter how difficult something is, the only option is to talk about it. The earlier you tell her, the better. Its not as if you hid the information intentionally. She is your wife and I expect her to trust her husband except you have been putting yourself in positions where her trust for you has eroded. To make things easier for you, talk to your mum and dad, arrange with the family of this your ex in agreement with her husband and call a family meeting for all party to be present. Your ex will explain how she lost contact with you and couldn't get in touch when she delivered. This open discussion with the presence of your ex-husband should give your wife a free mind about the situation. If after doing this, your wife doesn't take things easy, I will say she needs Jesus...  It is well 39 Likes |
| Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by mgbeketoto: 9:07am On Dec 27, 2013 |
If she did not tell you about the baby and you heard from a 3rd party. . . .consider yourself a SPER-M DONOR! This is not a matter of sentiments. YOU MUST TAKE DECISIONS LIKE A MAN. You were used as a procreation tool. . . .THAT IS THE END OF THE MATTER.  The baby MIGHT LOOK LIKE YOU. . . but it may be YOUR FATHER'S OR YOUR BROTHER'S OR ONE OF YOUR UNCLE'S with the same DNA! Please, face your marriage. . . . let the 'ho' be! Any well brought-up female knows how to act. . . . I would not pay the mother or the child any attention. . .for now! YOU NEED TO MOVE ON AND STAY AWAY FROM SUCH UNSERIOUS BEINGS! 8 Likes |
| Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by KELVINXY: 9:15am On Dec 27, 2013 |
smilelane: Hmmm Trickster indeed.! U seem lyk d type dat doesn't let go easily widout a gud fight,dis cud hav been gud if u're still single but lukin @ ur statues, I think u don't have much choice.. But It seems lyk u hav made up ur mind to go for her anyway.? |
| Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by KELVINXY: 9:27am On Dec 27, 2013 |
Dygeasy: Guyyyyy! Hmmmm Yea Sounds so easy in ur view But imagine if u were his wife n havin ur hubby share ur financial rite as a wife wid another woman.?! Sound perfect rite? Put urself in her shoe. And remember there are two families involved here.. Anyway it's al about maturity...understanding 2 Likes |
| Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by mgbeketoto: 9:28am On Dec 27, 2013 |
Real men don't talk. . . THEY ACT! Please grow up! Manhood/womanhood does not end in making 'babies'! It is a test of responsibility! All the best! 4 Likes |
| Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by chymystique(f): 9:30am On Dec 27, 2013 |
smilelane: Ma dear dts one of the stuffs I dread most buh I personally will b hurt If ma hubby doesn't tell me and explain.. Imagine how angry she will b if she finds out frm a third party that u ve a love child. Ma dear tell her evn if she gets mad wif u.. After somtime she woulda understand n come to terms wif et.. Pls dnt kip this a secret frm her cos et can cost u ur marriage. 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by ednut1(m): 10:04am On Dec 27, 2013 |
the great invasion of superstories on nairaland. warefa( in jenifas voice) 1 Like |
| Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by Hallotti: 11:10am On Dec 27, 2013 |
NL is running ourra ideas. . .so some 'failed-bloggers' can only regurgitate 'trite' tories with no head or tail to occupy space. Mesef dey IDLE. . . .We fit eassssssshoda! Muchechechechecheche |
| Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by Nobody: 11:49am On Dec 27, 2013 |
*I just hope I'm not responding to Desperate HW season 3(Tom and Lynette Scavo thingy with that 9- yr- old girl )* Find a way to reach out to the mother, let her confirm the story, get a DNA test. Then sit your wife down and tell her exactly what you have just told us now! Believe it or not, there is no way you can sweep this under the rug and move on! You are not necessarily going to uproot her from her family, you can contribute your quota from a safe distance and possibly get some bonding time with her. If you choose to ignore this, there is the issue of your conscience, and you are equally missing out in the life of that innocent girl while she is probably missing the love of her dad. Yes, she has a 'father' figure in her life, but it won't hurt if you step up, as the biological father. After all, you never denied her in pregnancy, you just didn't know! If your story is true and the mother just walked out of your life like that, then you are a victim here and your dear wife will definitely understand, though not going to be easy. Do the right thing now, don't let that girl ask you where you were when she was growing up! All the best, bro. 12 Likes |
| Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by Nobody: 12:06pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
Tell her no matter what,she will definitely hear it from outside,which would be very painful,and cause a crack in your marriage. You didn't cause the situation,it was simply breakdown of communication,you were a victim of circumstance. Explain to her,with time she would get over it. |
| Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by iyatrustee(f): 1:41pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
While I do not doubt this story, I have a problem with the fact that the op wants me to believe that mobile telephony was still a luxury 9years ago! 9 Likes |
| Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by Humility2010: 2:37pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
I will advice u to find out from ur ex if she admit to the fact that u are d real father, if so, no matter what it takes u, try to leave up to ur responsibility and claim ur child. She is your blood. 1 Like |
| Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by imsuboi(m): 3:22pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
martha: Hmmm no be small "hmm" |
| Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by smilelane: 3:27pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
Humility2010: I will advice u to find out from ur ex if she admit to the fact that u are d real father, if so, no matter what it takes u, try to leave up to ur responsibility and claim ur child. She is your blood. I guess so. It should be up to 10yrs now because pregnancy lasts for 9 months. I actually bought my sim card by 2003 with N35000. She has no sim let alone cell phone! 1 Like |
| Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by dahmie2013: 3:43pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
bellong: Op, OP, dis is ur medicine! All d best!  1 Like |
| Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by sammyyoung2(m): 3:56pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
This is Super Story a life of *** and sorrows....... |
| Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by Nobody: 3:56pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
Let them be...she didn't need you when she was nine months pregnant what makes you think she needs you now that the child is nine?  |
| Re: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by agrovick(m): 3:57pm On Dec 27, 2013 |
Dafuq |
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