₦airaland Forum

This is a sincere truth.
Join hands to assist with the children and the home chores. She gets more time to rest and save even more 4 u.
Saying this from experience

kennygee:
He should join in giving attention to the kids the same time his wife is doing it so they can save time and be together.

Or he can relieve her of some of the things she does for the kids, like help the kids out with their home work while she cooks, bathe the kids while she is cleaning up. Then when y'all are both done, you can have some time together.

Nothing too hard to crack here,,she's just doing her job as a mother, and ur support is needed to make it easier..or you keep on watching telemundo...

jeff1607:
This question has been bothering me for quite a while now, how do men or husbands cope with their wives when they give more attention and care to the kids and you feel all left out. I wouldn't like to generalise here but why is it a common thing in marriages same applies for single moms too when they shield and put more focus on their kids rather than helping the spark glow.

Some women not all are on the defensive when the husband tends to shrug that stuff out.

please would need experienced minds mostly the men to help explain or proffer a solution in getting round this without causing misunderstanding or bad blood

Go and see marriage counseling pastor

GeneralFestytop:
Go and see marriage counseling pastor

CAN I ASK IF YOU ARE MARRIED OR NOT?

Bluezy13:
Sex is also involved
That means not entirely about sex, as implied by the bolded.

yeah, not entirely sex things, just that sex attention was one of the many other attentions not given

I feel some irritation at some of these comments so forgive my tone if it sounds harsh.

In a normal marriage ( my definition - love for each other being the primary reason not procreation, not desperation, not money) you get to realize that your spouse is your firstborn. Your husband is your first child and your wife is your firstborn. With that foundation, things work out better. A firstborn helps with the younger children but still gets all the attention due him/her. Everyone likes attention and no one should be starved of it. If you are a Mom that needs help, pay for it if you have to. If your husband can provide sufficient help, then he should provide support. If neither of you can pay for needed help then suspend pregnancy till you can! If you need to stop having kids every year, do so!

For the vast majority of married men, a healthy, regular conjugal relationship is sufficient to cover feelings of neglect as long as you are fully mentally and physically engaged in the exercise and not responding with the enthusiasm of a log of wood. As you are creating time for the kids, create time for him on your schedule too.

This crazness of neglecting your husband because of the kids starts with breastfeeding your kids till they are 5 years old in the name of being a good mother.

You have 4 kids in quick succession and your body is laid to waste by the rigours of pregnancy as it gives up trying to recover from the rapid weight gain-weight loss cycle. Then you wonder why you don't feel sexually attractive any more and instead of paying attention to your body you are reduced to Broadway productions-type daily makeup sessions on your face while you buy bigger tent clothing to accommodate your neglected body.

You feel unattractive because you have leaking (breastmilk) breasts for 5 years so you avoid sex. How about stopping the breastfeeding at a reasonable age so that you don't spend the next 5 years in messy milk stained tops.

You can't do anything on the bed/room because the baby will wake up, please get on the floor or move to another room

If you can wear a top that provides easy access for the baby to breastfeed then you can wear lingerie that provides easy access to whatever your spouse needs.

Just because you had kids does not mean your spouse is now second class and does not mean the spousal relationship should be suspended. Your partner still has his needs and by the way, so do you! If you don't, then you have a problem that needs oiling and guess who you need for that oiling?

Having kids is not an excuse for either spouse to suffer neglect. Pay attention to the dynamics of your relationship as the kids come. Do not abandon your first love!

This post is not for everyone, it is for those in a normal marriage and who are interested in nurturing and growing that union. Happy new year!

purpose.when a wife does marries a man for children and having got the children,why should she bother herself on a man who will eventually move on to Bleep another woman ,get her preganant,move her in to the house and send her ,the first wife and kids away.Those men treated in such a way you described deserves it for not schooling the wife on purpose for a husband and purpose for kids.if GOD HATE u ,u will marry a single mother who wil just sap your energy and resources to make a great life out of her own kids and abort every pregnancy she has for u.

MMotimo:
I feel some irritation at some of these comments so forgive my tone if it sounds harsh.

In a normal marriage ( my definition - love for each other being the primary reason not procreation, not desperation, not money) you get to realize that your spouse is your firstborn. Your husband is your first child and your wife is your firstborn. With that foundation, things work out better. A firstborn helps with the younger children but still gets all the attention due him/her. Everyone likes attention and no one should be starved of it. If you are a Mom that needs help, pay for it if you have to. If your husband can provide sufficient help, then he should provide support. If neither of you can pay for needed help then suspend pregnancy till you can! If you need to stop having kids every year, do so!

For the vast majority of married men, a healthy, regular conjugal relationship is sufficient to cover feelings of neglect as long as you are fully mentally and physically engaged in the exercise and not responding with the enthusiasm of a log of wood. As you are creating time for the kids, create time for him on your schedule too.

This crazness of neglecting your husband because of the kids starts with breastfeeding your kids till they are 5 years old in the name of being a good mother.

You have 4 kids in quick succession and your body is laid to waste by the rigours of pregnancy as it gives up trying to recover from the rapid weight gain-weight loss cycle. Then you wonder why you don't feel sexually attractive any more and instead of paying attention to your body you are reduced to Broadway productions-type daily makeup sessions on your face while you buy bigger tent clothing to accommodate your neglected body.

You feel unattractive because you have leaking (breastmilk) breasts for 5 years so you avoid sex. How about stopping the breastfeeding at a reasonable age so that you don't spend the next 5 years in messy milk stained tops.

You can't do anything on the bed/room because the baby will wake up, please get on the floor or move to another room

If you can wear a top that provides easy access for the baby to breastfeed then you can wear lingerie that provides easy access to whatever your spouse needs.

Just because you had kids does not mean your spouse is now second class and does not mean the spousal relationship should be suspended. Your partner still has his needs and by the way, so do you! If you don't, then you have a problem that needs oiling and guess who you need for that oiling?

Having kids is not an excuse for either spouse to suffer neglect. Pay attention to the dynamics of your relationship as the kids come. Do not abandon your first love!

This post is not for everyone, it is for those in a normal marriage and who are interested in nurturing and growing that union. Happy new year!

Lovely

You must be as bad as I am

.

He should get involved with the kids too. She might be overwhelmed with them. Both of them can bond while they're both involved.