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The 10 Starter Rules For All Serious Relationships - Romance (4) - Nairaland

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Re: The 10 Starter Rules For All Serious Relationships by Odunharry(m): 9:57pm On Jan 02, 2017
Harinholar:
how do u handle a guy who snubbed in public most times but can act like an angel privately...
He's a correct guy.. He knows u still come for him.. He's simply not bn predictable
Re: The 10 Starter Rules For All Serious Relationships by bluejean(f): 10:05pm On Jan 02, 2017
Catalin:
All these rules just to be in a serious relationship. Well I quit.

If there aren't rules, it wouldn't b a relatnshp in d 1st place. Things jez don't fall in place, u say it n work it

Goodluck if u change ur mind abt it
Re: The 10 Starter Rules For All Serious Relationships by Quintessential1(f): 10:22pm On Jan 02, 2017
Odunharry:

Si what happened?

Distance happened... We both got too busy... Distractions set in.
Re: The 10 Starter Rules For All Serious Relationships by jclassiq(m): 10:29pm On Jan 02, 2017
stuffsabouttara:
I called these starter rules because, well, they seem somewhat insignificant, but they actually do help for a start. Babe and I had to sit and brainstorm before rounding it all up to ten. We tried to make them as unselfish and as fair as possible. Initially they seemed like they were quite useless and uncalled for, but over the past week, we've had more use for them than we can admit.
Not to keep you waiting any longer than necessary, I'd better start on the first 10 rules (aka starter rules) for every serious relationship. If you are in a casual relationship, you are welcome to use these too.

Rule #1

If you guys have plans to go out and an argument ensures, you are to postpone the argument till you are back.

This one is quite straightforward, actually all the rules are, but this is the most straightforward of them all. Maybe, maybe not. If there's a plan, you guys are about going out together, and somehow an argument about something totally unrelated creeps in, you have to cross it out in your hearts of hearts, go out and have a good time. And then when you are back, if you still remember and feel like going back to the argument, at that moment, you are allowed to.

Rule#2

If one person is already angry, the other person isn't allowed to be angry till the other person is completely done being angry.

This arises from my insistence that two people shouldn't be angry at the same time. So when Babe is pissed, no matter how hard it is, I tuck in my anger and remain as calm as possible until his fire is burned low. If I really can't take it, I out rightly ask him to be done with his anger so I can start mine. It makes him laugh really hard. Lmao.

Rule #3

Pick a side of the bed and always stick to it. Prior permission must be taken before laying on the other person's side.

Babe has a way of hugging the whole bed space (not complaining, it's cute on the contrary). But I just had to bring in this rule (my body was getting sore from sleeping on the cold ground night after night). I cataloged it under my bedroom etiquettes, which by the way, Babe calls "bedside flight tickets" because according to him, I make "etiquettes" sound like "air tickets". How annoying can someone be? Anyways, I made him pick a side and stick to it. Now I can actually claim a right to a bed side space and resist every form of emotional blackmail firmly.

Rule #4

Chores aren't meant for one person alone. There should be fair division of labour.

So we shared the chores, both at his place and at mine, and just like the bed space, we stuck to it. I do most of the cooking, all the washing and cleaning. He does the arranging. Every other stuff, we both get off our ass and do them together. No ojoro.

Rule #5

Be willing to compromise on personal preferences.

This is my absolute favorite rule. Love isn't always enough in a relationship, compatibility plays a huge role. I'm hardly compatible with my sisters who I've been with all my life, talking less of any other person in the universe. So one of the ways of staying compatible is compromise. I don't eat onions, so we limit the use of onions in our cooking. He doesn't eat fried food, so I grill or steam instead. He learnt the function of the toilet seat and in turn I gave up using my perfume as a general air freshener. He forces me to work out, I force him out of bed to read at night. The list goes on and on. It's all about compromise.

Rule #6

Physical abuse ain't allowed.

Under no circumstances should there be hitting or anything that would physically harm the other person. I should add emotional abuse to this too. There should be respect and humility at all times. You are equals, accept it or leave it.

Rule #7

So is snubbing and keeping stuff to heart.

I'm the Queen of SnubbVille. This was an especially specific rule for me. While I'm one of those rare people who forgive in an heartbeat and genuinely forget thereafter, I'm a pro in the snubbing industry. It's not healthy for a relationship. So yeah, I let it go. And you should too. And if you know you are not past it yet, chill... .take your time.. . Learn to forgive and wholly let it go, no matter how long it takes.

Rule #8

And flirting too.

It's not okay to be flirtatious with other people. No checking them out or talking obsessively about them (even celebrities), no no no. I'm a really jealous partner, except it's okay with the other person, some things should just be let go.

Rule #9

Don't be in a relationship and act all single.

And by acting all single, I mean your status updates, personal chats, conversations... Everything! Don't tell people you are single. Don't lead them on to think you are single. Don't give your number to that dude/girl that is obviously interested. Just don't, don't, don't. Don't act all single.

Rule #10

Never lie.

Under no circumstances should you lie (except it's for a good cause like you are planning a surprise party or something). You don't have to impress people to stay with you, the ones that truly love you will stay, they won't need to be convinced. And you should aim for that. Lying should never be an option.

And we are done. Do you have any rules you think we should know, let everyone in, drop it off in the comments.

P.S: originally posted on my blog https://thesatblog.

So essentially you are letting us know that you and your babe are live in lovers yeah??
Re: The 10 Starter Rules For All Serious Relationships by soath(m): 10:31pm On Jan 02, 2017
Harinholar:
how do u handle a guy who snubbed in public most times but can act like an angel privately...
It's just simple. Flee.
Re: The 10 Starter Rules For All Serious Relationships by 2SWT(f): 10:35pm On Jan 02, 2017
dingbang:
2swt kiss



Luv u
luv u you too sweetie kiss
Re: The 10 Starter Rules For All Serious Relationships by Odunharry(m): 11:05pm On Jan 02, 2017
Quintessential1:


Distance happened... We both got too busy... Distractions set in.
You guys couldn't devise a means to keep d fire burning?? Truly, long distance relationship isn't for everyone
Re: The 10 Starter Rules For All Serious Relationships by Quintessential1(f): 11:08pm On Jan 02, 2017
Odunharry:

You guys couldn't devise a means to keep d fire burning?? Truly, long distance relationship isn't for everyone

There was little or nothing we could do. Now, we're just tottering.
Re: The 10 Starter Rules For All Serious Relationships by judithlolomari(f): 11:09pm On Jan 02, 2017
Lol[color=#990000][/color]
Re: The 10 Starter Rules For All Serious Relationships by Odunharry(m): 11:10pm On Jan 02, 2017
Quintessential1:


There was little or nothing we could do. Now, we're just tottering.
Nothing ke? Did any of you travel out?
Re: The 10 Starter Rules For All Serious Relationships by Quintessential1(f): 11:16pm On Jan 02, 2017
Odunharry:

Nothing ke? Did any of you travel out?

No.
Re: The 10 Starter Rules For All Serious Relationships by stuffsabouttara(f): 11:24pm On Jan 02, 2017
jclassiq:


So essentially you are letting us know that you and your babe are live in lovers yeah??
hmmm. Let's focus on the main points of the post instead. It's more productive.
Re: The 10 Starter Rules For All Serious Relationships by 2SWT(f): 11:31pm On Jan 02, 2017
blazer234:


If he doesn't give you money, will you stay with him?
of course I will


It's no big deal
Re: The 10 Starter Rules For All Serious Relationships by Odunharry(m): 11:35pm On Jan 02, 2017
Quintessential1:


No.
Maybe it's not meant to be or u guys still waiting for who will start reconciliation process
Re: The 10 Starter Rules For All Serious Relationships by IncredibleJoe(m): 11:41pm On Jan 02, 2017
2SWT:
of course I will


It's no big deal

For better for worse
Re: The 10 Starter Rules For All Serious Relationships by 2SWT(f): 11:48pm On Jan 02, 2017
IncredibleJoe:


For better for worse
yea

Besides money shouldn't come from the only the man

1 Like

Re: The 10 Starter Rules For All Serious Relationships by IncredibleJoe(m): 11:51pm On Jan 02, 2017
2SWT:
yea

Besides money shouldn't come from the only the man

Do not be deceived dear, a marriage without money can only survive by the grace of God... Please, marry a rich man
Re: The 10 Starter Rules For All Serious Relationships by FILEBE(m): 11:58pm On Jan 02, 2017
stuffsabouttara

God bless you for this piece mehn. When we complain about some of these things they say we are feeling insecure esp the number giving" thing. Can you also add "keeping many of the opposite sex as friends ". That one gan gan na the main factor!

1 Like

Re: The 10 Starter Rules For All Serious Relationships by 2SWT(f): 12:07am On Jan 03, 2017
IncredibleJoe:


Do not be deceived dear, a marriage without money can only survive by the grace of God... Please, marry a rich man
I know but I won't relax and wait for a man to cater for my every single need. Even if he has the money.

I want to be an independent woman

1 Like

Re: The 10 Starter Rules For All Serious Relationships by IncredibleJoe(m): 12:10am On Jan 03, 2017
2SWT:
I know but I won't relax and wait for a man to cater for my every single need. Even if he has the money.

I want to be an independent woman



Yh sure, u can't afford to be a liability

1 Like

Re: The 10 Starter Rules For All Serious Relationships by Endy10(m): 12:28am On Jan 03, 2017
adaksbullet:
yels mime deer frnd, pm me and I we telled u wink

Oboy! Bros take this thing easy. You be suicide bomber? See as you just blow everywhere. You throw the first one I dodge am, only yo attack me with the second one. We no dey fight war now.

1 Like

Re: The 10 Starter Rules For All Serious Relationships by FILEBE(m): 12:28am On Jan 03, 2017
2SWT:
I know but I won't relax and wait for a man to cater for my every single need. Even if he has the money.

I want to be an independent woman
[q
2SWT:
I know but I won't relax and wait for a man to cater for my every single need. Even if he has the money.

I want to be an independent woman
uote author=IncredibleJoe post=52479556]



Yh sure, u can't afford to be a liability [/quote]


hey! the both of una two make una go sleep jare. una wan hook up?
Re: The 10 Starter Rules For All Serious Relationships by 2SWT(f): 12:32am On Jan 03, 2017
FILEBE:
[quote author=IncredibleJoe post=52479556]



Yh sure, u can't afford to be a liability


hey! the both of una two make una go sleep jare. una wan hook up?
lol


Guy wetin be your own?

Or you wanna join?
Re: The 10 Starter Rules For All Serious Relationships by IncredibleJoe(m): 12:32am On Jan 03, 2017
FILEBE:
[quote author=IncredibleJoe post=52479556]



Yh sure, u can't afford to be a liability


hey! the both of una two make una go sleep jare. una wan hook up?

Mr FILEBE, hope all is well??
Re: The 10 Starter Rules For All Serious Relationships by IncredibleJoe(m): 12:47am On Jan 03, 2017
[quote author=2SWT post=52479819][/quote]

I tire for him oh
Re: The 10 Starter Rules For All Serious Relationships by adaksbullet: 12:58am On Jan 03, 2017
Endy10:


Oboy! Bros take this thing easy. You be suicide bomber? See as you just blow everywhere. You throw the first one I dodge am, only yo attack me with the second one. We no dey fight war now.
I'm i talked too u? undecided undecided undecided
Re: The 10 Starter Rules For All Serious Relationships by blazer234: 1:01am On Jan 03, 2017
2SWT:
of course I will


It's no big deal
If i toast you now, you wee be calling me ashawo upandan
Re: The 10 Starter Rules For All Serious Relationships by drake99: 1:38am On Jan 03, 2017
stuffsabouttara:
I called these starter rules because, well, they seem somewhat insignificant, but they actually do help for a start. Babe and I had to sit and brainstorm before rounding it all up to ten. We tried to make them as unselfish and as fair as possible. Initially they seemed like they were quite useless and uncalled for, but over the past week, we've had more use for them than we can admit.
Not to keep you waiting any longer than necessary, I'd better start on the first 10 rules (aka starter rules) for every serious relationship. If you are in a casual relationship, you are welcome to use these too.

Rule #1

If you guys have plans to go out and an argument ensures, you are to postpone the argument till you are back.

This one is quite straightforward, actually all the rules are, but this is the most straightforward of them all. Maybe, maybe not. If there's a plan, you guys are about going out together, and somehow an argument about something totally unrelated creeps in, you have to cross it out in your hearts of hearts, go out and have a good time. And then when you are back, if you still remember and feel like going back to the argument, at that moment, you are allowed to.

Rule#2

If one person is already angry, the other person isn't allowed to be angry till the other person is completely done being angry.

This arises from my insistence that two people shouldn't be angry at the same time. So when Babe is pissed, no matter how hard it is, I tuck in my anger and remain as calm as possible until his fire is burned low. If I really can't take it, I out rightly ask him to be done with his anger so I can start mine. It makes him laugh really hard. Lmao.

Rule #3

Pick a side of the bed and always stick to it. Prior permission must be taken before laying on the other person's side.

Babe has a way of hugging the whole bed space (not complaining, it's cute on the contrary). But I just had to bring in this rule (my body was getting sore from sleeping on the cold ground night after night). I cataloged it under my bedroom etiquettes, which by the way, Babe calls "bedside flight tickets" because according to him, I make "etiquettes" sound like "air tickets". How annoying can someone be? Anyways, I made him pick a side and stick to it. Now I can actually claim a right to a bed side space and resist every form of emotional blackmail firmly.

Rule #4

Chores aren't meant for one person alone. There should be fair division of labour.

So we shared the chores, both at his place and at mine, and just like the bed space, we stuck to it. I do most of the cooking, all the washing and cleaning. He does the arranging. Every other stuff, we both get off our ass and do them together. No ojoro.

Rule #5

Be willing to compromise on personal preferences.

This is my absolute favorite rule. Love isn't always enough in a relationship, compatibility plays a huge role. I'm hardly compatible with my sisters who I've been with all my life, talking less of any other person in the universe. So one of the ways of staying compatible is compromise. I don't eat onions, so we limit the use of onions in our cooking. He doesn't eat fried food, so I grill or steam instead. He learnt the function of the toilet seat and in turn I gave up using my perfume as a general air freshener. He forces me to work out, I force him out of bed to read at night. The list goes on and on. It's all about compromise.

Rule #6

Physical abuse ain't allowed.

Under no circumstances should there be hitting or anything that would physically harm the other person. I should add emotional abuse to this too. There should be respect and humility at all times. You are equals, accept it or leave it.

Rule #7

So is snubbing and keeping stuff to heart.

I'm the Queen of SnubbVille. This was an especially specific rule for me. While I'm one of those rare people who forgive in an heartbeat and genuinely forget thereafter, I'm a pro in the snubbing industry. It's not healthy for a relationship. So yeah, I let it go. And you should too. And if you know you are not past it yet, chill... .take your time.. . Learn to forgive and wholly let it go, no matter how long it takes.

Rule #8

And flirting too.

It's not okay to be flirtatious with other people. No checking them out or talking obsessively about them (even celebrities), no no no. I'm a really jealous partner, except it's okay with the other person, some things should just be let go.

Rule #9

Don't be in a relationship and act all single.

And by acting all single, I mean your status updates, personal chats, conversations... Everything! Don't tell people you are single. Don't lead them on to think you are single. Don't give your number to that dude/girl that is obviously interested. Just don't, don't, don't. Don't act all single.

Rule #10

Never lie.

Under no circumstances should you lie (except it's for a good cause like you are planning a surprise party or something). You don't have to impress people to stay with you, the ones that truly love you will stay, they won't need to be convinced. And you should aim for that. Lying should never be an option.

And we are done. Do you have any rules you think we should know, let everyone in, drop it off in the comments.

P.S: originally posted on my blog https://thesatblog.
is this for married people
Re: The 10 Starter Rules For All Serious Relationships by FILEBE(m): 6:06am On Jan 03, 2017
[quote author=2SWT post=52479819][/quote]


Join wetin? I no be enemy of progress na. as the two of una dey do lovina and Lovinus, I just wan show face say I sight una. Make una kwontinie but donkt forget to acknowledge me in your pre wedding photos o. grin
Re: The 10 Starter Rules For All Serious Relationships by FILEBE(m): 6:16am On Jan 03, 2017
[quote author=IncredibleJoe post=52479827][/quote]



My Blother. All is well jare. carry on biko. Don't dull it oo. smiley

1 Like

Re: The 10 Starter Rules For All Serious Relationships by stuffsabouttara(f): 7:36am On Jan 03, 2017
drake99:
is this for married people
It's for those in serious relationships. I can't make rules for marriage, I'm not married. But if any married person feels any of the stated tips are useful to them, then they are welcomed to use them.
Re: The 10 Starter Rules For All Serious Relationships by Quintessential1(f): 7:40am On Jan 03, 2017
Odunharry:

Maybe it's not meant to be or u guys still waiting for who will start reconciliation process

Well, we're working on it, though. We want to save the relationship.

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