₦airaland Forum

Toks2008:
Haaaaa! no be my sisters you go kill..biko na joke o..in fact I don't know those ladies anywhere .....kojooo

dangotesmummy:
I read EVERYTHING. From the beginning to the end and the lesson I learnt from your post is that no woman has a right to have standards or desires on what she wants in a man

She has to settle for less or just take whatever baggage just to earn the almighty Mrs title

Of course I know your type too.btw are you Even married yourself? What gives you the moral right or justification to be giving women advise on what to do to earn a Mrs title

Your case is like someone still writing waec and giving undergraduates advise on how to graduate when he hasn't Even entered the school first to see how it is

Toks2008:
MY FATHER! MY FATHER! Any monitoring spirit following me upandan either in the air or on the ground..online or offline..in my dreams or in reality..I say DIE BY FIRE IN THE NAME OF YESHUA! AMEN!

You will not succeed walahi..if you follow me I will undo it.

Na by force.

1bkaye:
Nice

PatriotTemidayo:
Haba! My paddi You denying your own sistos?
Just on the humour side of things anyways...... They are wonderful. And I'll like to meet them, with your permission.
But to be frank, your write up, which exclusively is your opinion, are great and I know for certain that they carry deep lessons

Sunglow:
They say he is divorced.

fellis:
Toks I go follow you ooo!!
Singing: Anywhere you go I go follow! I go follo o! I go follo!!!
You go sabi say na me like argument pass for nairaland.

carmag:
sexual appealing is the first consideration for men when proposing to a lady, love starts existing when you find both of you compatible


if you are a man can you propose to a lady who is not sexual appealing to you

How would you develop the feelings and love when she not sexually appealing

HarveySpecter1:
Because they aren't the superior gender

Ofemini:
I quite figure your candid question about 'real love'. The OP may not give you a satisfactory response about this because his perspective of love is attraction based. I can submit that there is true love which is solely based on a decision to do so. Attraction to a lady base on features is temporal and unreliable but when a man decides to love a lady and backed upon by an unflinching commitment to make their union work over time. Then that can be said to be true love. This is a commitment independent of emotional/feeling flunctuations.

Coraje:
I understand what the op is saying very well. I strongly affirm that nobody loves another person for no reason. A guy is able to look beyond his girl imperfections because there is something else he sees in her that is more valuable to him than all the imperfections. I hope you got my point

Ofemini:
I quite figure your candid question about 'real love'. The OP may not give you a satisfactory response about this because his perspective of love is attraction based. I can submit that there is true love which is solely based on a decision to do so. Attraction to a lady base on features is temporal and unreliable but when a man decides to love a lady and backed upon by an unflinching commitment to make their union work over time. Then that can be said to be true love. This is a commitment independent of emotional/feeling flunctuations.

Toks2008:
Lol! Abeg what exactly is the fuss about?

Do all men cheat? HELL NO so why are you shedding blood over an innocuous presumption. A man could and will are grammatically different .

It is either most of you ladies who curse or castigate my writeups are uneducated,not educated enough or simply lack cognitive ability to comprehend yet you pour your frustrations on me...please just negodu.

Ladies like you are making reasonable contributions but you prefer to act like a road side illetrate pap seller.

I don't even know why I'm giving you attention cos if I look closely you will likely be one of these Telemundo ladies.

Toks2008:
I will be as blunt as i can in addressing these ignorant notions [/b]some Nigerian ladies have towards marriage.

[b]1.Being too careful about her choice of man:

OK I understand you are the type that is so scared of venturing into marriage so you want to be very careful in choosing that man you will likely spend your life with..but I'm sorry to be the carrier of BAD NEWS..."No matter how careful you may be,every marriage is filled with uncertainties...even if you marry an angel,he could turn to a demon so just take the risk and be ready to confront any uncertainty you find else you may remain scared and single for a very long time.
Infact the more careful you are the greater the possibility of making a mistake.

2.I want a man who will love me for real:

I'm very vast in English language but when it comes to this sentence,the more I try to understand the more confused I get..."love you for real" like seriously!

You better get this fact now,if loving you for real means loving you with your imperfections then i might agree to an extent else...NO MAN CAN LOVE YOU FOR REAL except that real is substituted for many things like love you for your curves,intelligence,manners.....so stop using this ackward sentence and try to develop something a man can desire you for...no man wants a woman for nothing.

3.Wanting a made guy or financially OK guy:

I honestly have nothing against this except the fact that being financially OK is relative and we don't ever get to know the definition of "being financially ok"

But then I kinda wonder why ladies fail to understand that most guys in their late 20s and early 30s are still trying to find their feet which means a lady who wants a made guy is inadventedly saying she wants a married man or sugar daddy because most made men in Nigeria are in their mid or late 30s and in their 40s and would have been married.

However,the few younger ones who are made can not have more than one wife.

Ladies should try to be financially independent so that they can be disciplined enough to start a life with a guy rather than struggling with several ladies to be with a "made" guy or ending up as a side chic of a made guy.

4.I can not suffer with a man because he could dump me latter:

This is one of the dumbest notion many Naija ladies have and anytime I hear a lady says this I just give her that stupid look of a looser.

Are you doing any guy a favor by dating him when he is broke? For Petes sake you have every right to walk away from any affair if you dim fit and staying with a struggling guy is your choice and not a favor. ..if he latter becomes rich and he dumps you,just walk away rather than use those words to blackmail him.

5.My wedding will be the talk of the town:

I totally agree that a grand wedding is the dream of most ladies and I also share in this dream but the question is this; "Is it a do or die to have a grand wedding"?
What is wrong in having an intro and registry wedding and latter plan for the grand one when the funds are there?

Don't be deceived. ..8 out of 10 grand weddings in Nigeria are sponsored.

I think this is one area many ladies are destroying their lives because a guy will do you like a wife and enjoy all the wify benefit while telling you he is not ready for a grand wedding and you will continue to foolishly play along until he dumps your overused ass for a younger lady when he is finally ready...biko receive sense.

6.GOD has not confirmed him or my Pastor said he is not the one:

Like seriously! OK get this straight. ..it is good to listen to the word of GOD or to follow your pastor's advice but hello! when it comes to choosing a spouse GOD has clearly made it our duty to look for a spouse and he will gladly give us his favor ...Proverbs 18:22:
"Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD".

The best you can do is to pray to God that a good guy finds you and when next a prophet or pastor tells you a certain guy is not for you...simply ask him with humility to tell you who your man is..his name,house address,complexion....

7.I can't marry a man I have no feelings for:

Your feeling is very important when choosing a man but pray he also has feelings for you else you will end up in tears no matter how deep your feelings for him is.

This is a hard nut for many ladies but the sincere fact is that your feelings is not as important as the guy's feeling towards you.

Getting married to a man may be hinged on your feelings but staying married to him is primarily dependent on how he feels towards you.


8.Marriage is a beautiful and wonderful institution:

I'm so sorry to tell you another bad news...."marriage is very turbulent and you will feel like running out"

At the intial stage it will seem like its so beautiful and made in heaven but that is the initial gragra stage. But when the reality stage sets in you will come to know the true picture of marriage but the good news is that you can make yours always beautiful if you can learn to tolerate, forgive,forgive and forgive because only two forgivers can make a beautiful marriage.

9.If my husband truly loves me,he will never cheat on me:

I know this issue is over-flogged and many ladies will never agree to this fact..."YOUR HUSBAND CAN HAVE EYES FOR ONLY YOU AND IN FACT COMMIT SUICIDE IF YOU LEAVE HIM YET CAN STILL CHEAT ON YOU"...sounds stupid I guess but that is just the truth..

Just warn your husband that if he must do let him go far far away from you and must use protection...I always say...only a foolish lady will hinge her marital happiness on her husband's sexual faithfulness to her.

I'm not supporting philandering but this is just how the cookie crumbles.

10.I want a tall cute rich romantic sexy....

Habba sister just negodu there...only you one...please there is a difference between real life and Telemundo. .you can not have all you want in one man and if you think you have then kudos to you. Many ladies cheat on their hubbies or fiance because they can't help comparing...

Tade is good in bed but not rich enough...Richard spoils me with money but very boring in bed and Seun is so caring but.... so you run to Richard to get money,you remember Tade when you feel like having a good time and Seun comes to mind if you want to feel loved..YOU ARE A SORRY CASE.

Just go for a man that has the average qualities and settle down...no man has it all.

As long as a lady is ready to face these facts then she will definitely have no problem in her marriage but if you find yourself totally uncomfortable with one or more of the points listed above, i will advice you remain single until you are mature enough to accept them.

My humble opinion

OluDare01:
I sent you a pm

Toks2008:
Sure just trying to be on the hilarious side.

As for my write ups the truth is that I'm a social freak and I have great passion for interacting and since I have been on naira land since 2007 I can't just stop being active because I have grown in age so I felt that the best way to continue my interaction is to share real mature insights about the oldest institution which I have a first hand experience about

But then nairaland has no age sections hence I would have been posting there but as it is I just have to cope with all these teenage girls and adolescent ladies who have no tiny clue of what it's all about but rather than learn, they will come online to rant curse and cry.

The most amazing twist is that I have received countless PM from mostly mature ladies thanking me for my insight which has made them better prepared for a purposeful union.

So I honestly don't give a bleep when nairaland smallies write out of their fantasies.

Stay blessed bro.

LegalBaby:
knew one retard would say this

Melian:
There's nothing "humbling" in what you've written. Your post is sadistic, peppered with hate at best.

1. You've not addressed anything. The only address you've tendered is directed towards teenagers.

2. You know nothing about love and being loved. Chances are you're from a broken home. Yeah?

3. Still on love. The many contradictions in your post show you dont know what you're saying most of the time. First, you say thinking your man must love you for real is like subjecting yourself to some kind of tunnel vision. Then again you say "This is a hard nut for many ladies but the sincere fact is that your feelings is not as important as the guy's feeling towards you". (pls re-read the bla bla bla that follows). Who's fooling who?

4. On Money and Love. On Men and Women and Relationships. Let's face it, a man would look for the most beautiful woman he can possibly get with his money. And, with her looks, a woman will look for the richest guy she could possibly lay her hands on. It's a two-way street. There's equity. Let's not pretend this isn't the norm and as long as it's acceptable to the people involved, I don't think anyone should make it their own to whine and complain and get jealous. Rather get your butt off nairaland and begin to do twice (better) what you've been doing to make the money.

5. Love. Many have scoffed at the theory of love but for those who believe it's real will find it. If love is your choice, live it. If you're not yet living it your choice then you've been successfully conned.

6. Marriage is beautiful, too beautiful to be true. However, not a smooth sail. This is why we should marry for love cos if ever it becomes turbulent only love helps you stay together. A man in love is a happy man, believe me.

Beamborla:
If you ask me, going after a lady because you find her sexually appealing is not even love in the first place. That's lust.

When people talk about being loved for real, they are referring to the ability of the person to see all their imperfections and accept it. They are referring to the ability of the person to see beyond their physical appearance and be aware of other treasures embedded in them.

Truth is, you'd always come across people who posses that which you find attractive in your partner and even more. You'd meet people better than your partner, people who meet your standards, who have qualites you never knew you'd find attractive. If it's all about your submission, what should one do when that happens?

Beamborla:
If you ask me, going after a lady because you find her sexually appealing is not even love in the first place. That's lust.

When people talk about being loved for real, they are referring to the ability of the person to see all their imperfections and accept it. They are referring to the ability of the person to see beyond their physical appearance and be aware of other treasures embedded in them.

Truth is, you'd always come across people who posses that which you find attractive in your partner and even more. You'd meet people better than your partner, people who meet your standards, who have qualites you never knew you'd find attractive. If it's all about your submission, what should one do when that happens?

Toks2008:
You this girl again in 2017...must you open my threads?

Amazingly you don't even understand the difference between being careful and being too careful neither do you understand the difference between rules and anomalies..gosh! is this how you want to continue in 2017?

Your sarcasm knows no bounds walahi..you claim I recycle yet you keep trolling on my threads..please if you have nothing intelligent to write just read comments from intelligent people OK!

Toks2008:
Lol! Abeg what exactly is the fuss about?

Do all men cheat? HELL NO so why are you shedding blood over an innocuous presumption. A man could and will are grammatically different .

It is either most of you ladies who curse or castigate my writeups are uneducated,not educated enough or simply lack cognitive ability to comprehend yet you pour your frustrations on me...please just negodu.

Ladies like you are making reasonable contributions but you prefer to act like a road side illetrate pap seller.

I don't even know why I'm giving you attention cos if I look closely you will likely be one of these Telemundo ladies.

dingbang:
she is 28 towards 29 yet unmarried, she has constantly been dating guys who have broken her heart all because of her selfish desires and her mindset on guys being the sole provider . she is hellbent on money and that is the genesis of her problem

Toks2008:
Don't be fooled that my quoting you means I read your comment...in fact I would have gladly done that but was put off by your sarcastic,odoriferous,immature and unwarranted remarks in the very first paragraph.

I just might consider reading if you can repost without hateful words cos it's really a turn off that a youth educated enough to express him or herself is not intelligent enough to discuss opinionated matters without getting heated up and using hateful phrases...smh!

Malawian:
I think you will make a good wife. The ability to appreciate, forgive and appologize is more than enough to make ur guy see more in you.

Beamborla:
The the Harvey Specter from suits knows better

Toks2008:
I will be as blunt as i can in addressing these ignorant notions some Nigerian ladies have towards marriage.

1.Being too careful about her choice of man:

OK I understand you are the type that is so scared of venturing into marriage so you want to be very careful in choosing that man you will likely spend your life with..but I'm sorry to be the carrier of BAD NEWS..."No matter how careful you may be,every marriage is filled with uncertainties...even if you marry an angel,he could turn to a demon so just take the risk and be ready to confront any uncertainty you find else you may remain scared and single for a very long time.
Infact the more careful you are the greater the possibility of making a mistake.

2.I want a man who will love me for real:

I'm very vast in English language but when it comes to this sentence,the more I try to understand the more confused I get..."love you for real" like seriously!

You better get this fact now,if loving you for real means loving you with your imperfections then i might agree to an extent else...NO MAN CAN LOVE YOU FOR REAL except that real is substituted for many things like love you for your curves,intelligence,manners.....so stop using this ackward sentence and try to develop something a man can desire you for...no man wants a woman for nothing.

3.Wanting a made guy or financially OK guy:

I honestly have nothing against this except the fact that being financially OK is relative and we don't ever get to know the definition of "being financially ok"

But then I kinda wonder why ladies fail to understand that most guys in their late 20s and early 30s are still trying to find their feet which means a lady who wants a made guy is inadventedly saying she wants a married man or sugar daddy because most made men in Nigeria are in their mid or late 30s and in their 40s and would have been married.

However,the few younger ones who are made can not have more than one wife.

Ladies should try to be financially independent so that they can be disciplined enough to start a life with a guy rather than struggling with several ladies to be with a "made" guy or ending up as a side chic of a made guy.

4.I can not suffer with a man because he could dump me latter:

This is one of the dumbest notion many Naija ladies have and anytime I hear a lady says this I just give her that stupid look of a looser.

Are you doing any guy a favor by dating him when he is broke? For Petes sake you have every right to walk away from any affair if you dim fit and staying with a struggling guy is your choice and not a favor. ..if he latter becomes rich and he dumps you,just walk away rather than use those words to blackmail him.

5.My wedding will be the talk of the town:

I totally agree that a grand wedding is the dream of most ladies and I also share in this dream but the question is this; "Is it a do or die to have a grand wedding"?
What is wrong in having an intro and registry wedding and latter plan for the grand one when the funds are there?

Don't be deceived. ..8 out of 10 grand weddings in Nigeria are sponsored.

I think this is one area many ladies are destroying their lives because a guy will do you like a wife and enjoy all the wify benefit while telling you he is not ready for a grand wedding and you will continue to foolishly play along until he dumps your overused ass for a younger lady when he is finally ready...biko receive sense.

6.GOD has not confirmed him or my Pastor said he is not the one:

Like seriously! OK get this straight. ..it is good to listen to the word of GOD or to follow your pastor's advice but hello! when it comes to choosing a spouse GOD has clearly made it our duty to look for a spouse and he will gladly give us his favor ...Proverbs 18:22:
"Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD".

The best you can do is to pray to God that a good guy finds you and when next a prophet or pastor tells you a certain guy is not for you...simply ask him with humility to tell you who your man is..his name,house address,complexion....

7.I can't marry a man I have no feelings for:

Your feeling is very important when choosing a man but pray he also has feelings for you else you will end up in tears no matter how deep your feelings for him is.

This is a hard nut for many ladies but the sincere fact is that your feelings is not as important as the guy's feeling towards you.

Getting married to a man may be hinged on your feelings but staying married to him is primarily dependent on how he feels towards you.


8.Marriage is a beautiful and wonderful institution:

I'm so sorry to tell you another bad news...."marriage is very turbulent and you will feel like running out"

At the intial stage it will seem like its so beautiful and made in heaven but that is the initial gragra stage. But when the reality stage sets in you will come to know the true picture of marriage but the good news is that you can make yours always beautiful if you can learn to tolerate, forgive,forgive and forgive because only two forgivers can make a beautiful marriage.

9.If my husband truly loves me,he will never cheat on me:

I know this issue is over-flogged and many ladies will never agree to this fact..."YOUR HUSBAND CAN HAVE EYES FOR ONLY YOU AND IN FACT COMMIT SUICIDE IF YOU LEAVE HIM YET CAN STILL CHEAT ON YOU"...sounds stupid I guess but that is just the truth..

Just warn your husband that if he must do let him go far far away from you and must use protection...I always say...only a foolish lady will hinge her marital happiness on her husband's sexual faithfulness to her.

I'm not supporting philandering but this is just how the cookie crumbles.

10.I want a tall cute rich romantic sexy....

Habba sister just negodu there...only you one...please there is a difference between real life and Telemundo. .you can not have all you want in one man and if you think you have then kudos to you. Many ladies cheat on their hubbies or fiance because they can't help comparing...

Tade is good in bed but not rich enough...Richard spoils me with money but very boring in bed and Seun is so caring but.... so you run to Richard to get money,you remember Tade when you feel like having a good time and Seun comes to mind if you want to feel loved..YOU ARE A SORRY CASE.

Just go for a man that has the average qualities and settle down...no man has it all.

As long as a lady is ready to face these facts then she will definitely have no problem in her marriage but if you find yourself totally uncomfortable with one or more of the points listed above, i will advice you remain single until you are mature enough to accept them.

My humble opinion

LegalBaby:
all your threads are always against ladies

greatgod2012:
5. I want a man that will be responsible for all me and my children's financial needs.



This is rampant and very very annoying!

How can an able bodied person have such an annoying mindset and still want the man to love and respect her

MackBrooklyn:
These aforementioned reasons are actually the damn truth and that is why immediately after marriage, the husband will speak while the wife listens. A year after the marriage, the wife will speak while the husband listens. Then subsequent years, they will both speak while people in the neighborhood will listens

MackBrooklyn:
These aforementioned reasons are actually the damn truth and that is why immediately after marriage, the husband will speak while the wife listens. A year after the marriage, the wife will speak while the husband listens. Then subsequent years, they will both speak while people in the neighborhood will listens