₦airaland Forum

I have to create this new moniker as I am a very popular nairalader and also the sensitivity of this matter. Please I will like to beg fellow nairalanders to help me sincerely advice this friend of mine as she will be reading up very thing said here. Please let's be matured in giving her advice. I really can't put all the details together, but will try as much as I can to pen the relevant ones. My friend has had her own share of bad relationship in time past that really affected her love life. She was finding it very difficult to love again because of the trauma she went through in her last relationship. Until recently when she connected her childhood friend on facebook. And they began to talk. When the guy found out she was still single, he quickly asked her out saying he had a crush on her while they were growing up but he didn't had the guts them to approach her, but that this time around, he won't let her slip away from him again. They began to communicate seriously on phone. My friend came to break the news to me. I asked her if she felt anything for the boy, to my surprise she said yes, you need to see the excitement on my face. I was so happy for her, cos I knew what my friend have been through. I knew suitors who have been coming, but she kept telling me she doesn't feel anything for them, so you can understand the reason why I was happy. At least i am very much aware of two guys who have been asking her for marriage for three years now, but she wouldn't agree, because she couldn't love any man, besides she is already in her early 30s, so I was so so concern for her. Guess you now know why I was happy when she finally told me she has fallen for the guy. But in all of this, she told me one thing that was her major fear. The guy doesn't have a job. My wife and I encourage her not to let that bother her yet, I gave her instances of women who have helped their men to stand. My friend is doing pretty well, she has a good paying job and a few connections here and there. So helping the guy get a job won't be much of a problem. The guy invited her over in the month of May last year to his place. They both reside in different states. She stayed for like a week and came back. She was very excited, told me the guy proposed and she said yes. Again i was excited for her. She said she spent 70k for the period that she was with the guy. Gave the guy money to buy some equipments for his business because he wants the guy to be up and doing. I told her it's OK. She sent the guy money again to go for training and to also help the guy execute a contract he said he got. November last year, she went to meet the guy again. And she called me and said she is suspecting that the guy is seeing somebody else, and that the guy is also stealing from her. This is a guy that my friend told how much she is receiving and also handed her ATM card to. When she went there November she was still the person who footed all the bills as the guy told her that the contracts he did, he hasn't been paid. She also gave the guy money to send to his parents. She was able to get one of the numbers that she was suspecting ,she took the number and called the person, only to discover that, the girl is the guy's fiance. And behold more revelations were unravel. He engaged this girl a week after my friend left the guy's house and he is going to do introduction by the end of this month. My friend went ahead and called the guy's younger brother to report the issue to, only to discover more shocking lies. The guy now is angry with my friend that who gave her the right to call the girl and his brother. My friend is a shadow of her self right now. She is blaming my wife and myself right now that we encouraged her to spend her money on the guy. I have taken the blame for that, thought she was doing it for somebody who appreciates good. I kept asking myself these questionings, where did my friend go wrong, why are we so deceptive in nature, was it wrong for my friend to have been transparent to this guy. Please you guys should help me talk to my friend. She will read all of your comments. Couldn't write down a whole lot that happened.Mod pls do the needful. Thanks

Make I secure space first

why would she blame you nah,as far as am concerned,you aint a prophet. Meanwhile she should move on once bitten twice shy.
I keep telling peeps marriage is overated

Justdulla:
why would she blame you nah,as far as am concerned,you aint a prophet. Meanwhile she should move on once bitten twice shy.
I keep telling peeps marriage is overated

I encouraged her, thinking i was trying to help a friend be happy again. People are heartless.

imasong005:
I encouraged her, thinking i was trying to help a friend be happy again. People are heartless.

some ladies act desperate and a sharp guy would sense it. he would promise,chop,collect change,clean mouth and vamooze.
I don't know why ladies act all desperate for the sake of marriage. I remember ma ex,I told shawtynto chill for me,she said age wasn't in her side now she's Gona marry someone that looks like Obasanjo jux cos she wana get married like her friends..
advice your friend to enjoy her life with or without a man,she should have fun and look too mehn

Justdulla:
some ladies act desperate and a sharp guy would sense it. he would promise,chop,collect change,clean mouth and vamooze.
I don't know why ladies act all desperate for the sake of marriage. I remember ma ex,I told shawtynto chill for me,she said age wasn't in her side now she's Gona marry someone that looks like Obasanjo jux cos she wana get married like her friends..
advice your friend to enjoy her life with or without a man,she should have fun and look too mehn

My friend wasn't desperate, if she was, she probably would have chosen to marry any of the two guys who have been asking her for marriage for 3 years now. Mainwhile, the two other suitors have very good jobs. Thanks for your advice. She will read them and hope she draws strength from it.

Abeg your friend should just delete that asshole's phone number and forget about guys; yes, forget about guys!

Why are most guy's like that? Abeg no one should be trusted at all. She should just face her job. I really do feel her pains.

My apologies to her on behalf of the idiot of a guy she chose to fall in love with.

the truth z DAT there are honest and faithful guys out there...

The truth is that she allow her feelings to lead her.
Feelings usually mislead. It is better to be with someone that is willing to sacrify and care for you than someone u have a strong feelings for.

My candid advice: marriage is not overrated. it is the best thing that can happen to a man/woman.
She is getting old so she should be closer to God.
If she is a christian she should be serious in church, prqy fervently and accept men that is ready to be comitted she will definitely develops feelings when get closer with such men with open heart.

This is so sad and I so much feel for her, she did absolutely nothing wrong by falling in love but one mistake she did was the steps she took in the relationship. I felt she was too fast in her steps and the unfortunate guy took advantage of that. She should be more careful and watchful and also take things really slow next time becos by that you ll have time to really know the other person and their real intentions and feelings towards you. Best of luck to her in her future endeavors

This is so sad and I so much felt for her, she did absolutely nothing wrong by falling in love but one mistake she did was the steps she took in the relationship. I felt she was too fast in her steps and the unfortunate guy took advantage of that. She should be more careful and watchful and also take things really slow next time becos by that you ll have time to really know the other person and their real intentions and feelings towards you. Best of luck to her in her future endeavors

midehill:
the truth z DAT there are honest and faithful guys out there...

Like me

Hayomee:
This is so sad and I so much felt for her, she did absolutely nothing wrong by falling in love but one mistake she did was the steps she took in the relationship. I felt she was too fast in her steps and the unfortunate guy took advantage of that. She should be more careful and watchful and also take things really slow next time becos by that you ll have time to really know the other person and their real intentions and feelings towards you. Best of luck to her in her future endeavors

Thanks so much. The break up is affecting my friend seriously. Have to take her to the hospital when I saw how she was looking. If I had delayed, she would have died. Her Bp was reading 140/90. She is on admission now.

I understand her pain.
no one is to blamed..
you meant well for your friend and your friend also thought she was doing it for someone pure.
I advice her to take her mind off the issue of relationship for now and go into serious personal prayers.. I dare her that God who knows how pure her heart is will send her a nice choice before 3 months.. even if such person comes, she shouldn't be in a haste to conclude that he is mr right but he should put it prayers and God will show her a sign that he is the chosen or not before it is too late..
if you read this, just strengthen yourself and embrace God.

The guy saw desperation in her and used it against her, she spent way too much on that guy. I don't advise any single woman to spend a dim on a guy, they will use you do local yahoo yahoo.

and some of us ar over here,chilled at one corner,hoping dt we meet dt great lady dt will make everything calm after d days hustling ,and a Mofo got her,and acted like anoda asshole..#sigh..life and it's dramas..going back to dt corner listening to threatening nature by ab-soul

Please I need you all to pray for my friend. She is in a bad shape. She was moved into the intensive care unit today, and she is at the moment being placed on oxygen. Oh God, help my friend to leave. Will not forgive myself if anything happens to her.

This is quite sad. May God heal her heart.
Your friend showed her hand too early. She made the guy understood her financial capability and so that one took advantage of her. Lesson learnt time to move on.
One lesson ladies need to learn is to make it clear to any suitor upfront what they want from a relationship. Let the guy understand that you are not ready for joking stuffs nor any time waster. Let him know the consequences of wasting your time later in life and if dude is not ready to abide by the conditions he can take a hike. Shikena

Op tell her she should better calm down and let go. She shouldn't kill herself over one bad ass ni**a that's not worth it.

Why are people just viewing and not commenting. I beg make owner put mouth for this matter. How you see am

Hmmm..... What a life........
A failed relationship is better than a failed marriage......

Sure it hurts,but soon very soon You meet someone who is worth it,because years from now That dude will realise he lost a treasure..........
So Pls MA Be strong....The right one will definitely come
All the best and get well soon......you're loved and you're needed.

It hurt my feelings,dah good girls always suffer in finding true love..let her just rest...or choose someone dah loves her,not d okay way round dis time. She will enjoy d relationship