Oliviaxx:
Do you want to 'loan' him money or 'dash' him money....if its loan, u have to be sure hes a person of integrity and loves u enough to not runaway before paying up. We've had too many stories of 'my bf ranaway with my money and blocked me on all social networks' here on nairaland. This is something you both have to sit and talk about. Dont make that decision in a hurry sweetie

look atew

see how people are just talking any how, saying things like if it were to be the guy would he open a thread before given her the money to start something. but men hardly give girls that kind of money they can give you money for cloth, shoes, hair and Man other things but not for business. and God has already made it that it is the men that is suppose to give to the woman

we are in Nigeria for God's sake, we all know how Nigerians react when they hear things like this they'll start telling she's trying to buy his love with money.

she jus asked for advice for God's sake simply yes or no would have been OK but no, people, especially men like to insult ladies when they are nice and humble, and then worship bitch.es. Niger men sef

esthertk:
I need the candid advise of the matured minds here. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months when our relationship was 3 months I was able to get a German visa and moved to Germany .

He lost his job 2 months ago, and we have been discussing on how he can get back on his feet, lots of interviews and no call back and with this harsh economy we consider it best he starts a business which he doesn't even have the capital.

I really wish I can support him but so scared it might be termed as using money to buy love and this might just make him stick to me for the wrong reasons or even later dump me... I am so confused

Your boyfriend is From where...?
Different state with different advice...

God bless you dear !!!!!!!!!!!!

cutediva87:
see how people are just talking any how, saying things like if it were to be the guy would he open a thread before given her the money to start something. but men hardly give girls that kind of money they can give you money for cloth, shoes, hair and Man other things but not for business. and God has already made it that it is the men that is suppose to give to the woman

we are in Nigeria for God's sake, we all know how Nigerians react when they hear things like this they'll start telling she's trying to buy his love with money.

she jus asked for advice for God's sake simply yes or no would have been OK but no, people, especially men like to insult ladies when they are nice and humble, and then worship bitch.es. Niger men sef

Ogun state if that helps

berrystunn:



Your boyfriend is From where...?
Different state with different advice...

berrystunn:


Your boyfriend is From where...? *Different state with different advice*...

berrystunn:


Your boyfriend is From where...? *Different state with different advice*...

berrystunn:


Your boyfriend is From where...? *Different state with different advice*...

badt guy

Mouthgag:

Exactly, some guys may become Ingrates when they finally become okay.

Likewise some ladies.

wait until he ask. that's the summary

Nigerian girls, chai see dem mentality....

Nigerian men have been really stupid, always throwing money away to this girls.
See this yeye girl calling for Village meeting because she wan assist her guy...
We really learn everyday

Help him if you can but regard it as helping a soul. Never expect anything in return even marriage because your long distance relationship is killing it all. Else you help him also move to Germany.

We, i dont know how the relationship started, the level of the relationship or where it is heading to... But what am telling you is this: If you know you are capable of doing it, just go ahead and help him. But if you are just doing it to please him, then you are making a mistake.

Toks2008:


Some men will never ask for money from a lady so the lady should use her discretion.

I see dat as pride.. Although I am one of those guys who hardly ask ladies for cash buh believe me.. When I know I need help, (like its a mayday situation) I don't mind asking for help from a female

McFabian07:
Here's my advice.
1. Don't give him money you can't let go.
2. Give him the money as a loan.
3. Don't give him the money directly. If you guys have an elderly male friend or relative, give the person the money to loan your bf. let the person never tell him it's from you. This way he will have his dignity and respect, and you would have helped him. possibly, the money may come back.
4. Don't expect anyhing in return, or never use it against him in the future.

number 3 is wrng cos he'l surely find out and it wld possibly ruin d relationship knwin u cnt trust him wit ur cash

many years ago,i had related issue,my wife was doing well and willing to help financially , i came here too for Advice. Of all the good advised i got, the best advise i got was, man sign out of this nairaland, shut down your laptop,go and put your head together with your wife in pursue of your future. make i no lie, my wife sponsor 70 percent of our wedding, but to day, God has help me financially, she not working now, i am now there for her 100 percent,with kids and even her relative, She is not working and i am not bothered, with God almighty, i see joy every day and we are happy.

The bottom line is, let him not be shy, for me, initially i was shy but later i opened up and go straight and she was glad to come in financially.

why cant people help without thinking of what people will thinkI always do without thinking of it or any reward when am capable and sometimes when broke and i ask someone i have helped before and the person gets stingy?i dont even hold it against them...i never expected a return from them as the one from God will be sufficient...

Do if you want to do and watch your return multiply in many folds.

You seem to be a nice bae. Don't rush into anything, don't conclude yet.....follow your mind and stick to your decisions. Humans are naturally ingrates, bewarned!

Fastlinkpro:
many years ago,i had related issue,my wife was doing well and willing to help financially , i came here too for Advice. Of all the good advised i got, the best advise i got was, man sign out of this nairaland, shut down your laptop,go and put your head together with your wife in pursue of your future. make i no lie, my wife sponsor 70 percent of our wedding, but to day, God has help me financially, she not working now, i am now there for her 100 percent,with kids and even her relative, She is not working and i am not bothered, with God almighty, i see joy every day and we are happy.

The bottom line is, let him not be shy, for me, initially i was shy but later i opened up and go straight and she was glad to come in financially.

cool.
U now blike...

help him bt don't expect anything help him bt don't expect anything help him bt don't expect anything

MrDandy:
The fact that you're keeping a long distance relationship is the first error; and it should be the first thing you should be worried about

Where does it state in the write-up that it's a long distance relationship?

Please how did you get the german visa... me sef wan commot... Email me on mirabeldaniels@yahoo.com

my dear, there is nothing wrong if you assist your guy. After all, one do assist somebody that he or she don't know. Helping him don't portray you a desperate lady.

Haven't you heard of mass deportation coming soon in Germany? Nigerian asylum are not allowed to work anymore. Which state are u? Are you in Bayern? My dear save money for rainy season. If they deport u tomorrow what will be ur faith? Everybody will say u were enjoying while they were suffering.

It can't be term as desperate, I wish I had enough money to help my boyfriend, I would be the happiest person right now.we should learn to help people without thinking of what they will offer us back tomorrow, just help just like you will help a begger in the street

Esther Esther you too bad

You wanto exploit his bad condition so dont lie

Of course you know you can help him without expecting anything in return

But...

You really really want something in return

In other words, you're are making a wise business decision

So as a businessman myself I'll say pls Go ahead and make your investment

But remember that not all investments will yield the expected profit at the end of the day

If it turns out a bad deal, I'll simply write it off as a bad debt.

For u to even think of helping him makes u an angel and someone with so much understanding ....The guy must be going through alot now, I can tell because the same thing happened to me last year.....went for series of interview to no avail......I discussed with with my then fiance who is now my wife, She didn't even have d money but went extra miles to get it for me
I promised to pay back monthly. But all I could even get from d business was only enough to take care if my self......enterprenuer are suffering In this hard economy and if u loan him, he might not be able to pay back im telling u.but still call it a loan for him to be serious, my wife did d same to me......and try what u can afford to loose first (i.e if ur plan us 100k, give him 50k and watch his reaction and attitude after getting d 50k....and if youre convinced, u can add up) dont invest alot until you're convinced he truely loves u....if he's not real and he's just After ur money, he will change after getting d money or start coming with more stories to get more money from u....not all long distance relationship work out, its a probability. But mine worked out after 4 years...now we are married and recently got my visa to be with her.

So good luck

esthertk:
Desperate for what? Its obvious you do not know the meaning of love ,if I would follow the naija girl's style, after I traveled I could have easily dumped him, secondly why wanna chill with a broke guy or even consider helping him? Your latter point is my fear,I do not want it to look as if I am trying to lure him with money or make him feel indebted to marry me, its a huge turn off for guys once they feel indebted to a ladyit even makes them misbehave cos it has a toll on their ego,and would want to go be with a lady that wasn't in their success story so they have a say thinking the one that helped out might always use it against them. Like one person said , Yes I am poor and just struggling, If i use my hard earned money to help a guy and I lose my relationship or someone I love It will be quite painful. I wish to help him from the bottom of my heart but I want to be careful and not pass the wrong message and like another said we dont even know each other well enough before I traveled and once I dish out the money and I say something or do something have never done before he might think am being proud cos I helped out, I have learnt something if I decide to help out it definitely wont be done directly by me I have to connect a 3rd person.

....Whether you are seen as 'desperate' or not,i would advice you to.be very careful in doling out money to your boyfriend,like you said you dont even know him well enough..He is a mere boyfriend not your husband or even fiance.

...Most Nigerian males would not give their girlfriends money to start a business..the most they give is stipends for recharge cards and Mr biggs snacks,which they run to Nairaland to lament later on...If you want to help people,go to motherless baby homes..they could use some help you know

...If you guys are not engaged or married,then DO NOT GIVE HIM ANY MONEY!!!...countless stories like yours never end well...I know what i am talking about...Better to be safe than sorry....A word is enough for the wise.

run run run run! he will only appreciate for a while! open the business use the outcome to treat another Bae well! # a victim

You've only in theory dated for 3 months. The last 5 months have been long distance and as such can't be trusted. My advice? Help him if you want to but being realistic? Remove the relationship from your mind so that particular emotion is out. Years of relationship don't survive the long distance part talkless of yours that's only 3 months old.
Not saying you might not settle together later but statistics wise? I kinda doubt it. Move on and help if you want to.

Pls dnt give money that u cannot let go. Think of the worst case senario, like is he actually seeing u as a sugar mommy, or if he wants to use the money to marry his current galfrnd.
Females are not built to give bt enhance on wats given to them. Has he ever done anytin notable for u? Wat have u done for ur own brothers or relatives. Wat part of the country is he frm, are the men loyal? We igbos view ppl frm Mbaise as devilish, though not all sha.
My dear, am speakin or writin frm experience. Do wat u would advice ur close friends esp whn love dey catch dem.
Shine yaa eyes, men can be quite unpredictable, ungrateful and outright wicked.
All the best.

esthertk:
I need the candid advise of the matured minds here. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months when our relationship was 3 months I was able to get a German visa and moved to Germany .

He lost his job 2 months ago, and we have been discussing on how he can get back on his feet, lots of interviews and no call back and with this harsh economy we consider it best he starts a business which he doesn't even have the capital.

I really wish I can support him but so scared it might be termed as using money to buy love and this might just make him stick to me for the wrong reasons or even later dump me... I am so confused

I've read various comments including your answers to quotes from different people and here is my submission.
If you help want to him, just get you motive right and never mind what people would say or think but rather be more concerned about the character you're dealing with; if you're sure he worth it, just go ahead and help him.

But if you choose not to help him because of your reason and fears, he won't still die and probably not going to ask you if he's a real man I'm assuming he is.....but answer this question yourself; if Leta in life he make it big and you guys settle down, how will you feel knowing you fail to help when it matters most?
So my best advice for you is, take the first option and help him without minding the outcome...and you too, don't rub it on his face.

Please never involve a third party; that will ruin everything. That advice is a very bad one. It's even better not to help him than involving a third party just because you want to help him.

pls don't help him it will be term desperation help me since u can't help ur own nairaland after all nobody know us together is it a sin to be desperate for the brick that satisfy you?