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Re: The simplicity of getting married. by Toks2008(m): 5:08pm On Mar 04, 2017 |
Alesandese: I have lost friends who tend to be myopic as regards my articles. ..they juxtapose my realistic threads to who I am and I'm sorry I can't help them on that. I'm a realist and I dont write things to favor the way they ought to be rather I write stuffs the way they are. I hate divorce but what if I marry today and the lady decides to divorce me against all odds would you blame me for that? does it not take two to tango? People have blamed Chris oyakhilome for his wife's decision to divorce him and I keep wondering how people see things. If you like preach about marital chastity but that does not change the fact that people leave their marriage daily and if a lady is too careful about getting married because she hates divorce then she should rather remain single for life cos shits happen in marriage even if you the lady is an angel. My point is simple Take the risk and dare the consequence rather than being careful forever which is never a guaranty of good marriage. 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The simplicity of getting married. by Nobody: 5:12pm On Mar 04, 2017 |
but if i dont court a lady then how can i marry her? haba i cant just wake up one morning and pick a stranger on the street because i want to get married.you have to date or court her at least for some time to know her character.and op understand what we do in naija is not dating but booty calling .a situation where a guy has 50 girlfriends and the lady has 100 boyfriends plus 6 sugardaddies and the HOD in her school"s dept is her bookkeeper ....etc u cant call that one dating na 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The simplicity of getting married. by Toks2008(m): 5:14pm On Mar 04, 2017 |
Alesandese: If you know it is my opinion then why lash out at me with your comment? "Your view of marriage is questionable. You shouldn't mislead people here with such myopic mindset....pardon my words". 1 Like |
Re: The simplicity of getting married. by Nobody: 5:17pm On Mar 04, 2017 |
Toks2008:If you want me to say those three words, I won't. You missed the emboldened BTW 1 Like |
Re: The simplicity of getting married. by Toks2008(m): 5:18pm On Mar 04, 2017 |
lefulefu: You just nailed it...booty call and that is why it gets do frustrating I claim to be in courtship but what I'm actually doing is sampling...I'm trying to see how good she screws in bed and how sweet her body structure feels in my hands....is that courtship? Even with real courtship you tend to miss out on many things. See let's not fool ourselves...a man knows if he will posibly marry a lady he sees for the very first time...we know what we want so that courtship thing is just a facade we use to sample ladies. 2 Likes |
Re: The simplicity of getting married. by Toks2008(m): 5:19pm On Mar 04, 2017 |
babyfaceafrica: Some usually start on an intellectual note but tend to get too personal and at that point,I ignore. 2 Likes |
Re: The simplicity of getting married. by Toks2008(m): 5:22pm On Mar 04, 2017 |
Alesandese: I saw those words quite alright but why say sorry after you deliberately slapped me? Anyways its ok 3 Likes |
Re: The simplicity of getting married. by Nobody: 5:24pm On Mar 04, 2017 |
Toks2008:Courtship / dating opens your eyes to some things in your partner. Courtship is when you how your level of compatibility. It is the time to build friendship and love that sees marriages through obstacles. Marriage is in stages jumping over one is disastrous. Sometimes we tend to minimize reality to our experiences alone, then we become insane to others. Don't judge everything from your own perspective only. 5 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: The simplicity of getting married. by Nobody: 5:24pm On Mar 04, 2017 |
Toks2008:Tarh . Nice chatting with you Toks |
Re: The simplicity of getting married. by babyfaceafrica: 5:25pm On Mar 04, 2017 |
Toks2008:better |
Re: The simplicity of getting married. by Toks2008(m): 5:30pm On Mar 04, 2017 |
Alesandese: My perspective ke! can't you see what goes on around you? I have lost count of broken marriages where the couples courted for donkey years. Getting married is too simple once you are ready...I just don't like it when people say they are trying to be careful. The funniest part is that even people who met online also use those phrases and I keep wondering if there is any way you can truly court online when even the offline courtship is not a fail proof. |
Re: The simplicity of getting married. by Ishilove: 5:31pm On Mar 04, 2017 |
Toks2008:Tokunbo!! Smh 1 Like |
Re: The simplicity of getting married. by Nobody: 5:34pm On Mar 04, 2017 |
Toks2008:i saw in ur post where u talked about the type of physical qualities a man wants in a lady that attracts him in a lady.I agree with this but apart frm this the character is also important.look, some ladies can pretend for africa.they will camouflage their true character to u that u might think they are the virgin mary.so tell me if u rush into marriage with such and she eventually shows her true self to you how will u feel? its better u date b4 marriage cos during that time her true self will be unmasked.but some guys take the dating issue in a wrong way.humping and dumping girls or what some ppl call chop and clean mouth is what gives the false impression that dating and relationship is complex when in reality its not. 5 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: The simplicity of getting married. by Nobody: 5:38pm On Mar 04, 2017 |
Toks2008:but sexual compactibility is important in a marriage or dont u agree? if u have a high sex drive can u get married to a fridgid woman? lets be realistic on this. |
Re: The simplicity of getting married. by Apina(m): 5:39pm On Mar 04, 2017 |
dacblogger:Happiness is and can never be bought or attained from without. marriage has and will never be a scam, I believe your submission is based on the lives of people like tonto dikeh, toke and co with failed marriages forgetting that d likes of joke Silva and so many others perhaps ur parents inclusive haven't chosen to take d easy path which is wat marriage is all about, the good and bad times. 1 Like |
Re: The simplicity of getting married. by REIIGN(m): 5:49pm On Mar 04, 2017 |
QueenSuccubus:LOL, if I have, I'd be married by now |
Re: The simplicity of getting married. by Toks2008(m): 5:53pm On Mar 04, 2017 |
lefulefu: If you read your first comment you will agree with me that you buttressed my point. Since you agree that a lady can pretend then why waste time in courtship when she can "pretend for Africa" as you put it This is why I prefer due diligence on any lady I intend marrying...all these courtship na wash. |
Re: The simplicity of getting married. by Toks2008(m): 5:55pm On Mar 04, 2017 |
lefulefu: Many differences can be worked out... Our parents had black market marriage yet they are much happier than the present day couples. 1 Like |
Re: The simplicity of getting married. by Toks2008(m): 5:59pm On Mar 04, 2017 |
Ishilove post=5th 4269749: Ishibabe shey the thing no tire you sef?...marriage is overrated abeg. 1.I see babe wey I fancy 2.I do background check 3.If I like what I found out I marry her and dare the consequence 4.I try to work out the problems if they come up 5.If I try sotey I no succeed,I leave. LOBATAN! I can not come and go and die. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The simplicity of getting married. by Nobody: 6:09pm On Mar 04, 2017 |
Toks2008:guy if u let a lady to know at the initial point that u interested in marriage she"s going to pretend that she"s a rare gem.this is a fact.the first thing that attracts u to a woman at first could be her physical appearance or if u one of those very strict born again christians u got attracted to her cos she can speak in tongues,she can pray for long hours etc.but apart frm these qualities how will u know her inner qualities like is she motherly? is she selfless? etc if u dont date her.u need to date her to know if she has those inner qualities u want in a woman.marrying a total stranger could be catastrophic . 1 Like |
Re: The simplicity of getting married. by Nobody: 6:16pm On Mar 04, 2017 |
Toks2008:many present day marriage breakup cos many partners no take time study each other.guy see one babe wit big yansh for street.cos he get venza he use dat one entice the babe.babe agree to marry am cos of im money .the bros start to dey cheat upandan and wen wife complain. he turn am to punching bag.dat one na marriage ? 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The simplicity of getting married. by Toks2008(m): 7:07pm On Mar 04, 2017 |
lefulefu: I agree with you and it's not as if I'm against dating or courtship but when it goes beyond a year I don't see it as meaningful. Another fact is that when you get to certain age group you will understand that dating and courtship holds no water but only a background check can give you a true picture of who the person is. Do you expect a 30something year old lady or guys in late 30s to start courting for years? This piece is for them. 3 Likes |
Re: The simplicity of getting married. by Toks2008(m): 7:09pm On Mar 04, 2017 |
lefulefu: Due diligence is the only answer when it comes to wanting to really settle down with that person. |
Re: The simplicity of getting married. by Nobody: 7:21pm On Mar 04, 2017 |
Toks2008:u dont need to court for donkey yrs b4 a guy knows such a lady is the one for him.there might be reasons a man his late 30s might not quickly tie the knot which are best known to him.but then it would be hard to believe such a man hasn"t a serious girlfriend or female friends.He could easily choose from there instead of entering the street and looking for a wife he knows nothing about.there have been cases also of friends falling in love and getting married. |
Re: The simplicity of getting married. by Nobody: 7:26pm On Mar 04, 2017 |
Toks2008:when u say background check hope u not talking about checking on her family? i am asking cos hope u do know there some female undergraduates whose parents are pastors and deacons but they engage in runz. 3 Likes |
Re: The simplicity of getting married. by Nobody: 7:28pm On Mar 04, 2017 |
Alesandese: I'm sorry but it feels like you're arguing for the sake of arguing. The op is against long courtship. A year of meeting someone is more than enough time to know if you and this person are compatible. Men know from day one and women warm to it. They say men are microwaves and women are steam cookers. 1 year is enough time. So he is not against courtship he is against all the nonsense in the middle like lavish weddings and 4 year courtship due to "I'm not ready." If you love someone and you are serious about settling down don't let anyone waste your time. I say dating over 2 years is bullshit because you should know by then that you want to marry this person or not. 5 Likes |
Re: The simplicity of getting married. by FTBOY: 7:34pm On Mar 04, 2017 |
dacblogger:so what do you suggest? for men to have baby mamas and have kids by single parents or an orphanage? |
Re: The simplicity of getting married. by An0nimus: 7:38pm On Mar 04, 2017 |
RadiantBae: End of discussion. This is a simple issue really. Toks may be controversial sometimes but he hit this one on the head. 1 Like |
Re: The simplicity of getting married. by Nobody: 7:55pm On Mar 04, 2017 |
An0nimus: Absolutely he did! People keep arguing the extreme which is marrying a stranger. Op said a year of dating is more than enough if you are ready which means you ask the right questions, bring about the right circumstances and know what you want in a mate. Meet the right people in their family and be serious about actually getting married. Not meet in the bedroom and leave and think you know that person. Live together for 6 months of that year with the intention of leading and working towards marriage. All this boyfriend girlfriend stuff is for those women under 25 and men under 30. After that we should be old enough to know what we want out of life. 1 Like |
Re: The simplicity of getting married. by Nobody: 10:35pm On Mar 04, 2017 |
RadiantBae: 2 Likes |
Re: The simplicity of getting married. by Toks2008(m): 10:35pm On Mar 04, 2017 |
RadiantBae: Insightful. 2 Likes |
Re: The simplicity of getting married. by Toks2008(m): 10:54pm On Mar 05, 2017 |
lefulefu: Due diligence is mostly centered on the person you want to have as a spouse and not just the family. 1 Like |
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