₦airaland Forum

jstbeinhonest:
Salam Rommies, I submitted an application for a program and I'm expecting a response by the end of his month, This program means a lot to me and I have huge faith, ...any recommended prayers.

Start waking up for tahajjud and present your concern to Him (azal wajal)

Husband's Letter To His Wife

Wife's Replied Letter To Her Husband

When wickedness defines a person.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MR8zpPGX4xA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XN9mFEjyXV4

Someone sent me this and I think I should share it. Your opinion counts.

Please I want to ask the question, if woman is working in a bank before she got married,after she got married,her husband told her to resign due to missing of solat everyday and not dress very well,and her husband told her she can't leave solat for any reason, she refused because her husband his not financially stable she think that his salary can not feed the family, when she gave birth her husband tell her not to resume again after mat leave and the woman told him that he can't suffer herself and his son and this always cause problems in their marriage latter the woman resign and everything is not going well because she spent almost all the money she save and husband keep telling her that everything will be OK very soon. Please the house advice us base on this situation. Can that woman go back to banking job again thanks. ### Pls I need to share dis for more knowledge from u all before I get back to the sister who ask me dis ...

Snapscore, albaqir, ikupakuti, kennyossein, dragnet, tbaba1234, maclatuunji, sino, abdelkabir, fundamentalist, demmyz15, tintingz, rabiushile04, hkana, sunnisufi, and whoever wishes to contribute


What do you think?

Slm,

Survival preceeds religion & religious obligations must stay withing capabilities.

In my estimation, if its totally impossible for the lady to get a befitting job and survival is threatened, then she should stick to her banking job so far she‘s going to perform her salat immediately shes chanced....or else harsh condition will push her into whats worse than leaving salat & improper dressing.

Even to dress improper you need money.

Wellbeing first.

^^^

First, according to Quran, it is the husband's sole responsibility to provide for, and maintain his family. He has no excuse. Unfortunately today many are waiting for office job that might never come.

Second, as far as sharia is concerned, a woman is not obligated in anyway to contribute financially to the upkeep of the family. Whatever comes from her is extra, and not that the family will place all the responsibility upon her shoulder. And a woman that behave like Bibi Khadijah, should be fully appreciated by the husband. We've seen cases where the wife is the bread winner of the house, and the husband go ahead to impregnate another woman. So, I say to the husband in question to go out and struggle real hard for his family.

Third, it is not Islamic in anyway, and it is equally not in the African norms that a woman engage in a work that will deny her of her primary responsibility which is her family. Obviously, banking work though lucrative but has actually cut the tie between mother and her responsibility. And the fact that it deprive her of spirituality further made it a no going area. However, the reality is Is such a woman religious enough to sacrifice this worldly job for Allah?!.

Fourth, if she's reasonable enough, she can start a business from the money she has realized from the work. And if she truly believe in Allah, her business will surely be blessed. I have seen a similar case though its not easy especially when Allah wants to test our iman.

^^^Albaqir, I disagree with some of what you said.

- She's working in bank before she got married, didn't her husband know all these before? Didn't they discuss this? If she wants to resign it should be her choice not from her husband. Some men her fun of depriving their wives from their choice.

- According to the report, she resigned and everything got worsen, I like seeing women working, earning and contributing to the family, things are not the same like our fathers time.

- I've seen wives that works in bank and the husband doesn't have problem with it like my uncle, in fact the car she was given in office she gave it to her husband(her husband has one already), she later bought another car personally. Everything has to do with understanding and patients.

- Some men struggled but things are not working out for them but it is working out for the wife, that's how life is. I agree with your last statement she can start her business but where is the money after she has spent almost all her money catering for the family?

I still don't support men depriving their wives from thier dreams and choice, my close aunt a graduate, her husband turned her to full house wife, doesn't want her working now they are facing financial problem, now imagine if the wife was working and earning.

tintingz:
^^^Albaqir, I disagree with some of what you said.

Difference of opinion is what makes mind grow and develop.

tintingz:
- She's working in bank before she got married, didn't her husband know all these before? Didn't they discuss this? If she wants to resign it should be her choice not from her husband. Some men her fun of depriving their wives from their choice.

# That's why I said is she religious enough to sacrifice her job for spirituality and her primary responsibilities?

# The truth is, individual has choice in designing his life the way he wants: Spirituality, worldly, one leg here one leg there etc.

# The case above: when the husband is complaining about her job before they got married, why did she go ahead with the man? Didn't she understand such man's demand?

# The problem is feminism being preached and practiced today. Its being portrayed as equal to "malinism" to the extent that man has also relaxed his struggle since both are sharing the family upkeep financially.

tintingz:
- According to the report, she resigned and everything got worsen, I like seeing women working, earning and contributing to the family, things are not the same like our fathers time.

# Does she expect continuity of her booming banking lifestyle in short time to her resignation ni?

# There is one general problem about bankers. They live expensive life and once the job is gone for one reason or the other, its usually hard for them to live an average life. I love situations where husband and wife starts at a low level then rises with time. Only very few women can endure the pain of high to low profile.

# Again, it is not woman's responsibility to work, contribute or sustain the family. No religion or rationality gives such a go ahead. It has very bad consequences. Our modern world is living testimony compare to the olden days.

# Islam allows woman to work but frown at works that will stain her dignity, responsibility, etc.

# Then, did you ever think if she continue the job, she could get sacked? And if she did not, how many women of such status have enough time to train their children? House help usually become the wife and mother in such situations.

# And we've seen situation where the inability of a woman to cope with both family challenges and works compound her problem t the extent that she lost her concentration at workplace. The woman was also a banker. She ended up mistakenly overpaid a customer. She continue paying debts till she was fired.

tintingz:
- I've seen wives that works in bank and the husband doesn't have problem with it like my uncle, in fact the car she was given in office she gave it to her husband(her husband has one already), she later bought another car personally. Everything has to do with understanding and patients.

# That is probably 1 out of every 20 cases. Modern man will love his wife contributing and when she is failing or failed to discharge her responsibilities, it will be serious fight and all sort of problems.

# Wallahi, as you have seen a rosy situation, I have seen a worse one. The wife simply find it difficult to discharge her duties and after several warning and pleading with no result, the husband ended up marrying his wife's best lady.

tintingz:
- Some men struggled but things are not working out for them but it is working out for the wife, that's how life is. I agree with your last statement she can start her business but where is the money after she has spent almost all her money?

I still don't support men depriving their wives from thier dreams and choice, my close aunt a graduate, her husband turned her to full house wife, doesn't want her working now they are facing financial problem.

# Working does not solve financial problems all the time and woman being full housewife does not usually result to poverty.

What makes sense in the sight of religion, rationality and our social culture is for woman to chose a job that will not deny her of her primary responsibilities. The fact that women have neglected their responsibilities has resulted what situations of new generations are presently. There is less or no mother (molder, builder) again.

^^ tintingz, just to add:

My eldest sister is a nurse with years of experience. She has five children. Things are not really going well in her family, financially. She was invited to come to the UK where bulk of my family resides. She declined she can never leave her children unattended to or in anybody's custody for even a day so long her Lord still preserve her life.

Things have become real good now and alhamdulillah she was able to train her children that even if she travel for months today, her heart is at rest of the state of her issues.

Its about facing challenges of life and not being a coward.

AlBaqir:
Difference of opinion is what makes mind grow and develop.

OK.

# That's why I said is she religious enough to sacrifice her job for spirituality and her primary responsibilities?

Not everyone is religious.

# The truth is, individual has choice in designing his life the way he wants: Spirituality, worldly, one leg here one leg there etc.

# The case above: when the husband is complaining about her job before they got married, why did she go ahead with the man? Didn't she understand such man's demand?

There is nothing like this in the report. The main issue is discussion and agreement before marriage is very important. Some men just deprived their wives from doing their choice as if these women are robots or babies. Because they are called the head of the house they can't be questioned.

# The problem is feminism being preached and practiced today. Its being portrayed as equal to "malinism" to the extent that man has also relaxed his struggle since both are sharing the family upkeep financially.

This is not about feminism, there is no law that says women shouldn't work. Our mothers were not full house wives like many people think, they farm, trade and do many stuff those days.

# Does she expect continuity of her booming banking lifestyle in short time to her resignation ni?

If she didn't spend 80% to the family, she might have start a good business with her save money, but her broke husband didn't think before forcing her to resign.

# There is one general problem about bankers. They live expensive life and once the job is gone for one reason or the other, its usually hard for them to live an average life. I love situations where husband and wife starts at a low level then rises with time. Only very few women can endure the pain of high to low profile.

I see this in nollywood movies, this is not actually the case. Many bankers save their monies, I know many ex bankers that start their business and it is booming, I've worked with two.

# Again, it is not woman's responsibility to work, contribute or sustain the family. No religion or rationality gives such a go ahead. It has very bad consequences. Our modern world is living testimony compare to the olden days.

Don't generalize religion and rationality to this, some religion don't have problem with bolded, I've said it before in my post above that our mothers work during their days, they were not all house wives.

There is no natural law that says women shouldn't work, even female animals work e.g lioness.

# Islam allows woman to work but frown at works that will stain her dignity, responsibility, etc.

OK, What about men that work and doesn't have time for his family?

# Then, did you ever think if she continue the job, she could get sacked? And if she did not, how many women of such status have enough time to train their children? House help usually become the wife and mother in such situations.

That's another probability that might occur, what if she was promoted as the manager?

What about does house wives that their children lack moral act? Who's to be blame?

There are many women in high status that doesn't allow work to disturb family responsibility and their children are well trained.

"A child that want to join bad gang will join no matter how they train him/her morally" this is my believe.

# And we've seen situation where the inability of a woman to cope with both family challenges and works compound her problem t the extent that she lost her concentration at workplace. The woman was also a banker. She ended up mistakenly overpaid a customer. She continue paying debts till she was fired.

This can happen to anybody, it has happen to me before.

It is called depression.

# That is probably 1 out of every 20 cases. Modern man will love his wife contributing and when she is failing or failed to discharge her responsibilities, it will be serious fight and all sort of problems.

Lol, many men don't want liability as wives.

# Wallahi, as you have seen a rosy situation, I have seen a worse one. The wife simply find it difficult to discharge her duties and after several warning and pleading with no result, the husband ended up marrying his wife's best lady.

Staying in the marraige is not by force, if things are not working out for them they should go their separate ways. Her life doesn't ends in marriage. That's why I advice ladies to give their stands to their man before marriage.

# Working does not solve financial problems all the time and woman being full housewife does not usually result to poverty.

if working doesn't solve financial problem then what's the essence of working?

A house wive can only enjoy her marriage financially, if the husband is earning well.

What makes sense in the sight of religion, rationality and our social culture is for woman to chose a job that will not deny her of her primary responsibilities. The fact that women have neglected their responsibilities has resulted what situations of new generations are presently. There is less or no mother (molder, builder) again.

I will refer this to my responses above.

AlBaqir:
^^ tintingz, just to add:

My eldest sister is a nurse with years of experience. She has five children. Things are not really going well in her family, financially. She was invited to come to the UK where bulk of my family resides. She declined she can never leave her children unattended to or in anybody's custody for even a day so long her Lord still preserve her life.

Things have become real good now and alhamdulillah she was able to train her children that even if she travel for months today, her heart is at rest of the state of her issues.

Its about facing challenges of life and not being a coward.

She didn't travel because it is her choice, no one forced her not to travel.

The case we are discussing here is the case when the broke husband forced his wife to stop working when he himself his finacially broke, she is using her saved money to cater for the family.

Some banks transfer married women to branches close to their residents. A neighbor I know a lady works in bank, immediately she got married she was transfered to Ibadan branch because her husband based there.

tintingz:
OK.
Not everyone is religious.

Absolutely, That's why I said "is she religious enough"?! And I can further ask, is she reasonable and cultured enough to put her family first?!

Unfortunately, gone are those days when oko lolori aya.

tintingz:
There is nothing like this in the report. The main issue is discussion and agreement before marriage is very important. Some men just deprive their wives from doing their choice as if these women are robots or babies. Because they are called the head of the house they can't be question.

# Yeah it is not directly in the theme of the message. I only infer that they must have discussed the issue before getting marriage.

# My brother, for example, personally I don't feel satisfied if my little girl go to school. She's just 2 and half years. That age is too young to start whatever school. She supposed to be playing, sleeping and eating at that age. But circumstance made her mother to enroll her into school.
When the so-school give her home work and assignment, I called their attention NEVER to give her assignment again.

My point however, once it is their closing hour, I expect her mother to go and pick her without delay.

# So-called bankers today spend very little hours with their children. Such mother comes back home around 7 - 9 pm tired. She eats fast food or food cooked by house help or manage to cook herself. She sleeps like log of wood only to be up by 4 am etc etc. I don't want such a life for myself. When you get married, that is when you will fully understand who you really are.

tintingz:
This is not about feminism, there is no law that says women shouldn't work. Our mothers were not full house wives like many people think, they farm, trade and do many stuff those days.

# I am also not saying that woman should be redundant. However, family first. Any job no matter how lucrative it is, that will hinder her responsibilities as a Mother, I totally reject it. Yeah our mothers were not full housewives but their jobs never deny them of carrying out their duties as at when due. The difference between them and those of today is distance between heaven and the earth.

tintingz:
If she didn't spend 80% to the family, she might have start a good business with her save money, but her broke husband didn't think before forcing her to resign.

# You do not even find excuse for this man. The truth is we don't know what that family has faced before it resulted to that. And obviously ejó to favor iyawo nikan lagbo, what about the husband's side of the story.

# And really I do not believe they are so wretched to that extent you are portraying. That's why I talked about the lifestyle of bankers and its adjustment.

tintingz:
I see this in nollywood movies, this is not actually the case. Many bankers save their monies, I know many ex bankers that start their business and it is booming, I've worked with two.

# Toor. A good woman and a wife to be should also do same because she will have to quit sooner or later when family challenges started. I respect good woman a lot. Their live is sacrifices.

tintingz:
Don't generalize religion and rationality to this, some religion don't have problem with bolded, I've said it before in my post above that our mothers work during their days, they were not all house wives.

There is no natural law that says women shouldn't work, even female animals work e.g lioness.

# There is no work more tedious, time consuming than household work. You can never combine outside job and inside job and perform it efficiently. You need to strike a balance otherwise you will have to concentrate on one than the other. Woman has greater responsibilities than man.

tintingz:
OK, What about men that work and doesn't have time with his family?

# Please don't compare the two. Man and woman physically are not the same. A woman is created for the purpose of nurturing and that's why she's tender and merciful (am not talking of awon iwin ode oni o). A man is created with responsibility outside the home extending to wherever in the world.

# Unfortunately modern world has change this natural course.

# However, whatever little time out such a man has, his family must really feel it positively.

tintingz:
That's another probability that might occur, what if she was promoted as the manager?

# She will have more responsibilities, and get farther away from her primary responsibilities.

tintingz:
What about does house wives that their children lack moral act? Who's to be blame?

Definitely the woman. She herself might not have proper home training.

....

AlBaqir:
^^^

First, according to Quran, it is the husband's sole responsibility to provide for, and maintain his family. He has no excuse. Unfortunately today many are waiting for office job that might never come.

Second, as far as sharia is concerned, a woman is not obligated in anyway to contribute financially to the upkeep of the family. Whatever comes from her is extra, and not that the family will place all the responsibility upon her shoulder. And a woman that behave like Bibi Khadijah, should be fully appreciated by the husband. We've seen cases where the wife is the bread winner of the house, and the husband go ahead to impregnate another woman. So, I say to the husband in question to go out and struggle real hard for his family.

Third, it is not Islamic in anyway, and it is equally not in the African norms that a woman engage in a work that will deny her of her primary responsibility which is her family. Obviously, banking work though lucrative but has actually cut the tie between mother and her responsibility. And the fact that it deprive her of spirituality further made it a no going area. However, the reality is Is such a woman religious enough to sacrifice this worldly job for Allah?!.

Fourth, if she's reasonable enough, she can start a business from the money she has realized from the work. And if she truly believe in Allah, her business will surely be blessed. I have seen a similar case though its not easy especially when Allah wants to test our iman.

I would have to agree with you on this . Good statement

Tomorrow same individual will be talking of racist hadiths like he is purge of all filthy tribalism. Is it any wonder religion is increasingly being percieved as being deceitful? In Islam section you behave one way in politics section you show up with another behavior.

See the commonsesical reproach:

https://www.nairaland.com/3688454/understanding-mr-fani-kayodes-out-cry#54711613

AbuHammaad:
Hausa speaking folks. I need some little help.

Please help me translate

I really want this and I need to get this to English

Nagode

Kagarko Aboki80

I really want this: Ghaskiya ni inna son wanna

I need to get this: Sai na sammu wanna

vedaxcool:
I really want this: Ghaskiya ni inna son wanna

I need to get this: Sai na sammu wanna

Jazakumullah khayran. I really appreciate it

vedaxcool:
Tomorrow same individual will be talking of racist hadiths like he is purge of all filthy tribalism. Is it any wonder religion is increasingly being percieved as being deceitful? In Islam section you behave one way in politics section you show up with another behavior.

See the commonsesical reproach:

https://www.nairaland.com/3688454/understanding-mr-fani-kayodes-out-cry#54711613

# Term it anything you like, Hausa-fulani (which probably where you hail from) remain what I call them.

# Anyday, anywhere and anytime I will say it confidently.

More. ....if the Nikkah stuff

.........

....

..........

AlBaqir:
# Term it anything you like, Hausa-fulani (which probably where you hail from) remain what I call them.

# Anyday, anywhere and anytime I will say it confidently.

Hypocrite is one whose actions are at variance with ones words. A hypocrite will complain about racism of others but is quick to practice tribalism when his own tribe is invovle. This should suffice to anyone who engages your pretense on the issue of racism that you are just as sordid or worse than the same thing you pretend to complain against.

No, rather it is tribalism that he supports his people in wrongdoing.

Source: Sunan Ibn Majah 3949, Grade: Hasan

Aisha reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

إِنَّ أَعْظَمَ النَّاسِ فِرْيَةً لَرَجُلٌ هَاجَى رَجُلًا فَهَجَا الْقَبِيلَةَ بِأَسْرِهَا

Verily, the greatest of people in falsehood is a man who insults another man by disparaging the entire tribe.

Source: Sunan Ibn Majah 3761, Grade: Sahih

In another narration, the Prophet said:

إِنَّ أَعْظَمَ النَّاسِ جُرْمًا إِنْسَانٌ شَاعِرٌ يَهْجُو الْقَبِيلَةَ مِنْ أَسْرِهَا

Verily, the greatest criminal among people is a poet who disparages the entire tribe.

Source: al-Adab al-Mufrad 870, Grade: Sahih

^^^

Until your people change their aggressive, tribal, power-dominance mentality....they remain who they are.

Thank God we know your history too here on NL especially your aggressiveness and usual foul languages. Perhaps you are reborn.

Deal reached after Saudis submitted to Iran's Hajj conditions
www.presstv.com/Detail/2017/03/19/514921/Iran-Saudi-Hajj

AlBaqir:
^^^

[s]Until your people change their aggressive, tribal, power-dominance mentality....they remain who they are.

Thank God we know your history too here on NL especially your aggressiveness and usual foul languages. Perhaps you are reborn.[/s]

Keep conditioning your bigotry on other people's behavior, it only goes to show whatever values you espoused are false and have no relevance to your reality. You cannot condemn racism in one mouth and with the same mouth promote triablism. It is a big shame on you and to still stand on such tribalistic premise only shows how woeful your character is, you are known by everyone in the section for your usual double speak and needless insults. Imagine conditioning following a hadith of the prophet Muhammad pbuh until Hausa people cease to do what you accuse them of doing. This goes to show how well Islam has entered you.

FYI I am not Hausa, i don't need to be to condemn your tribalistic behavior which goes against the tenets of Islam.

Trouble De For That Country Faah. All Types Of Crazy News Everyday!


BREAKING!!! :-XBAD NEWS.

Please don't you dear fail to share this if you have a heart.
Keep on sharing till we save our dear ounce.

Black soot has affected southern part of the country, and people are dying by the day.

It will be evil of me, if I fail to share what happened at Oyigbo in Rivers state, where family of six are struggling with their lives as you're reading this.

Please, Please and Please! For now, don't dear buy yellow garri (garri with oil). Once this garri is colored, you can't tell which is affected according to Dr. Deji Afolabi.

Black soot has affected the soil, and its effect is more deadly in cassava than what you can imagine. When the garri is not white and smooth enough, don't dear it for any cost I beg you!

If we were able to fight Ebola, together we can do this.

And please, pray for Tamuno James , Uniport 300 level student who is in between life and death just because of garri.

Share to not less than ten people in your contact list if you have an atom of humanity left in you
:-XDO NOT EAT OR DRINK SOAK GARRI FOR NOW! PLEASE!!

Please don't stop sharing till this message gets to your friends and family.


Copied

^^^ Empiree, which one is "black soot"? Garri is poor man's only available delicacy o.