₦airaland Forum

amencarmen:
I am currently down with depression from betrayal and degrading. I am looking for solution, cos at this juncture, I am actually very tired.

send her packing.

amencarmen:
Baba abeg read am, you may never know if your advise will best suit my situation.

Op,I would put the blame on both of you(you and your wife).Something is wrong in this marriage to be honest,there is no mutual understanding and respect in this marriage.Be extremely careful before it is too late,call your wife,sit her down.You guys should discuss and resolve this matter without a third party.Before we think of the future,we have to sort out the past first,my opinion though.I wish you and your family best of luck.

Elbizzcklinz:
Pls amencarmen, am interested in d app, what's the name.
Am nt married but my girlfriend has taught me a lot of good. Am nt using d app for her.

First u made a mistake by bugging ur wifes phone, yeah my gf told me that it is normal for a guy to pester a woman but what matters is hw d woman responds.

Her response shouldn't pose a threat to her relationship, infact she should object and wade it off.

Any male friend of your wife should be known to you, you dnt have to sneak to find out.

*Your wife disrespected u, yes cos u found out, aside from that has she ever pose as a threat to u?.

Most fundamental>u guys lacks communication. Why did i say so, it is wrong to wake ur wife at late hour for discussion.
CONCLUSION> You made a mistake by bugging her phone, she disrespects u via her convo.

SOLUTION>Build up communication and trust.
Never suspect your wife.
Apologise(it will wow her).
Take her out for a dinner/lunch.
Let her knw u trust her again.
Build up ur sexual& romantic life with her

I am confused here, you are asking for the name of the app and here you are telling me I should not have bugged her phone. Oga if my guts feeling and the dream I had wasnt enough for me to act fast, that dude would have for sure chop and clean mouth, na woman u wan dey take play like that? Guy please open ya eyes. No man is badder dan, when it comes to women and their mysterious way of doings things. I did rather find out whats going on rather than living in darkness in the name of trust. I know what I am doing, and what I have done so far has yielded result, I rebuilt trust in this woman wella after several other incidences, but after this one, only if I am to be reborn or have my memory wiped out will i be able to ever trust this woman again. EVER

amencarmen:
I am confused here, you are asking for the name of the app and here you are telling me I should not have bugged her phone. Oga if my guts feeling and the dream I had wasnt enough for me to act fast, that dude would have for sure chop and clean mouth, na woman u wan dey take play like that? Guy please open ya eyes. No man is badder dan, when it comes to women and their mysterious way of doings things. I did rather find out whats going on rather than living in darkness in the name of trust. I know what I am doing, and what I have done so far has yielded result, I rebuilt trust in this woman wella after several other incidences, but after this one, only if I am to be reborn or have my memory wiped out will i be able to ever trust this woman again. EVER

From what u said it is sure that you've passed through a lot, nt just this. Did u marry her out of pity or ?...God will help u when u seek him, somethings are nt ordinary.

Elbizzcklinz:
Cont'd
You and your should make out time to empty your mind.
say what ever u feel she does that hurts u, let her do same. UNDERSTAND AND RESOLVE IT, dnt explain or urgue.

Treat her like u just meet her.

Brother pls, when doing all this be romantically observant on hw she reciprocate, if she does fine, good. If she doesn't, dnt flare up, never beg a woman. Let her knw what u like and dnt like in male friendship,
Give her time Trust her and never suspect her.
i hv much to tell u. but use this approach first.

Bro I have been on NL to voice out my frustration is so many other ways and on so many other issues apart from infidelity. It all boils back to the same thing, this woman does not even know how to communicate, you talk slowly and romantically, she'll raise her voice in the name of trying to interrupt me while talking, I say 1, she replies with 10, sometimes I feel like am living with a man. And to know that I have manly handled my home the way it should be and to set a womans head straight, its just unfortunate that this one seems to be reverse of the case, disrespectful, insensitive, disloyal and too self centered. If i had to bleed all the bad blood this woman has infused in me, Ahswear down, u go run on my behalf.

amencarmen:
Bro I have been on NL to voice out my frustration is so many other ways and on so many other issues apart from infidelity. It all boils back to the same thing, this woman does not even know how to communicate, you talk slowly and romantically, she'll raise her voice in the name of trying to interrupt me while talking, I say 1, she replies with 10, sometimes I feel like am living with a man. And to know that I have manly handled my home the way it should be and to set a womans head straight, its just unfortunate that this one seems to be reverse of the case, disrespectful, insensitive, disloyal and too self centered. If i had to bleed all the bad blood this woman has infused in me, Ahswear down, u go run on my behalf.

If man can't solve a problem God can. I understand u fully, you hv done ur best from what u wrote. Am nt blaming u but didn't u see all this b4 u married her, did u guys ever dated?.

Elbizzcklinz:
From what u said it is sure that you've passed through a lot, nt just this. Did u marry her out of pity or ?...God will help u when u seek him, somethings are nt ordinary.

Bro when I met this woman, we only spoke few times, we didnt speak for close to 6months, thereafter I reconnected with her, I was single then, but wasnt really looking for something serious due to heartbreak, I was just trying to make out time for fun with her. Not until I figured out she was the only woman that was able to divulge things that other women might consider taboo which would make men think they are the used and dumped type. I decided to try if I could have a serious reltnship with her. The relationship was 3 weeks oold having seen each other like 5 times, she took in. Though it was planned so that she could travel to the USA to give birth and I could further my own education and plan family and marriage later. My family declined, infact my mum said we cant go to meet the father with such proposal having known that if such happens to my daughter, will i take such proposal as a favor or a shameful one. I was like, I dont know her too well, that its risky and I didnt plan to marry at that stage. Still, I was declined, I had no choice but to marry her. I wont say its out of pitty, I was not sure who she wasll well, and I got married when I never thought of. You can imagine that ur gf confirmed pregnancy this week, 8 weeks time, u married. I hope u know where am coming from on this ish.

Oh! nw i understand again. The marriage was due to pregnancy. You are a good man, cos u didn't abandon her, but in d other you never knew her...nw she is showing u the real her. Dnt let ur marriage crash because she's bad in character, seek a good marriage counselor or talk 2 your pastor...and if she will go with u, fine. And most especially seek God in prayer. Church will help her,

Elbizzcklinz:
Oh! nw i understand again. The marriage was due to pregnancy. You are a good man, cos u didn't abandon her, but in d other you never knew her...nw she is showing u the real her. Dnt let ur marriage crash because she's bad in character, seek a good marriage counselor or talk 2 your pastor...and if she will go with u, fine. And most especially seek God in prayer. Church will help her,

Bro you may never understand, there is more to her apart from this, I dont think I want to continue, just thinking on how to separate and have my kids comfortable, I dont even trust her with my kids without me as shes very careless, not security cautious etal. Solely trapped.

amencarmen:
Bro you may never understand, there is more to her apart from this, I dont think I want to continue, just thinking on how to separate and have my kids comfortable, I dont even trust her with my kids without me as shes very careless, not security cautious etal. Solely trapped.

Take it to God, somethings are more than ordinary, Prayer is the key, join a living church...visit any mountain of fire ministries, pls dnt divorce...God can do more, we are just human, people are possessed by spirit which makes them behave like that. You can't fight it physically but spiritual.
I AWAIT TO READ YOUR TESTIMONY.

I feel ur pains bro, but if i were you i will stop checking her phone,delete d app,give her her freedom, do u no why no marriage is perfect and woman will always be woman,sit her down and talk sense into her brain and dont forget the things u did to win her heart. Why cant u tell her to invite d so called friend to ur house ,trust me his reaction speaking to u one on one will tell u what is happening btw them. Am nt married bt my opinion though

Funky123:
I feel ur pains bro, but if i were you i will stop checking her phone,delete d app,give her her freedom, do u no why no marriage is perfect and woman will always be woman,sit her down and talk sense into her brain and dont forget the things u did to win her heart. Why cant u tell her to invite d so called friend to ur house ,trust me his reaction speaking to u one on one will tell u what is happening btw them. Am nt married bt my opinion though

This guy has gone through a lot from his comment. am sure that strategy wont work. they need prayer and counselling.

crystalclear93:
Lol..all na for leg lemme joor

yea you should have remained a guest..

Kennybix:
I feel you should sit her down once again and tell her you are not comfortable with the kind of relationship she's having then ask her the areas she would like you to improve on.

After the talk, ask her what she's going to do about the issue. You need to hear from her. If she does not sound convincing enough, you may have to ask her to choose between the guy or you and please give her a serious face here.

Got your msg

crystalclear93:
Seriously there's fire on the mountain, If your wife can't respect your opinion and she still continues talking to this man when you told her not to, thenI smell an affair on the horizon. The question is how did she get like this? If she doesn't respect you who does she respect? If you could talk to her parents about this they could be able to get some sense into her..but judging from her convo with the guy I seriously doubt that, she seems hooked on the guy and I just don't understand why a married woman would do such after her hubby specifically told her not to. There has to be some kind of history...she said she met him in unilag, who knows they might have been lovers.
You have kids you need to sit her down and let her know what her actions can/are doing, let her know you're not trying to control her(we hate that) but its a union and marriage is all about sacrifice.

But Op you can type eh..back to your question, if I were in ur shoes I'd change heels lol

You don't mean it.