₦airaland Forum

Dhayor001:
1. Never yell.

2. Don't call names or use insults

3 Never make statements that you cant back up sooner or later

Obviously you have made a big mistake here. And until you have undeniable proof, I suggest you call your wife and apologise sincerely.

What she said about a Mouth Action and the stylish hanging up may be ploys to get you worked up and raise the money for her, or they may be true that she's cheating. As you have no proof of either, you have to be the man and eat the humble pie.

As for her not wanting orgasms, bros na your wife o. However hard she might act, there are moves you make that (you know) drives her mad. Do them unexpectedly, not too much, just enough to get her excited and see if she will not give herself to you fully.

If she says she wants to leave, bro, the answer is no. Our generation should not be the one that throws things away because it is broken, we ought to mend them and make them work. Our parents did it, we can too. No be say na by force but divorce never makes things easy. Me and that woman will lock ourselves in a room for a week and work things out.

If she has cheated on you (and she confesses) and you are willing to forgive, good. If not, however, let that be the basis of you guys separating and not just cause of some money issues or emotional trauma.

If you must part ways, please the less the noise made and dust raised, the better.

Above all, be calm and meditate. Pray, it works!


Cheers.

Handsomecutepie:


The moment a girlfriend or wife ask you to change or buy things on Her own names... My brothers, pls, biko, don't allow all these doomed guys in smiling and suffering marriages to encourage you to carry on. They are already ffucked but looking for more guys in their "miserable married guys club".

If 21st pastors are not blinking before leaving their marriages this day, that tell you how much their spiritual power and divine calling couldn't stop them from doing the right thing to save their own lives from these daughters of Jezebel.

If any woman say this to you either in courtship or marriage, pls, regardless what or anybody in this world say to you, let her go the same day. If you decide to continue with the marriage or relationship, i can assure you that your life ll be bleeped up eventually.

It's the biggest revelation in any relationship or marriage.

And to all single brothers in the house, this clue up there is something i want you all to hold to your hearts. Pls, watch out for any statement like that in your today or future relationships or marriages. Once you hear anything like this, pls and pls, don't allow emotions to becloud your sense of judgement, the result at the end of the day ll be devastating and painful if you carry on.

Such women have their exit plan before the relationship or marriage begins. No matter your efforts, she ll eventually leave you... Ignore this warning at your own peril.

This is the "golden-red flag" of a failed marriage before it collapses.

cruchenuti:
Phonty.com
Cellphone monitoring software

adam500hr:
Prognose, u dey pokenose, it can happen to you too, nobody badder dan, nobody holy pass when it comes to woman matter. Without all these yeye thing with my woman, aswear my family too sweet. He dey pain me sha, u nor go understand though.

VULCAN:
So from the confines of your bedroom you divined that his wife is not cheating. Wonders!

A person you don't know and have not even seen her psychological profile but based on a few lines that the traumatised husband wrote.

Hmm.

Perhaps if he said he caught her in the act you would have said she was charmed.

Aside from the fact that you share the same gender, you have no reason to tell him that his wife is NOT cheating.

Even if she isn't, you don't have enough data to make such conclusion. Not every woman is as versed as you in psychological warfare.

AreaFada2:
My dear, sadly lots of women go into a union because of what they want to benefit from it. Not to contribute or build a home.

A woman who thinks 2m is nothing, and she has no 2m of her own money or such help from her own birth family is really no wife material.

If you're comfortable as a man, the woman you have might just be after your money only. So look carefully.

Imagine OP lost his job/livelihood, would this kind of wife stay?

SpicyMimi:
I usually don't comment on topics like this, but had to since I haven't seen any comment relating to my thoughts.

First and foremost....Projects definitely sounds like "Mouth Action" and your jealous or suspicious mind would definitely twist your hearing sense, because that is what you wanna hear.

Secondly, there are two sides to every story and from your story, I think you are over reacting. You have no solid evidence against your wife and you already called her a "hoe"? Tell us what other names you call her? That s very very very insulting and that Aline could bring your marriage! You think everyone can tolerate being called a hoe? Mind your tongue.

Your story is not well detailed, you are not telling us things how they are but how you are seeing it. Jealousy is a very harmful weapon and ruins beautiful things, its one of the devil's favorite weapon. Ask your wife if she is really cheating on you, make her confess.

dangotesmummy:
shut up

pesinfada:
is not in play store

hahn:
Even the marriages of Pastors crash

Christian couples still have a higher divorce rate than atheist couples

kaziblake:
We need to hear your wife side of the story so that we don't sound bias cos you men will come on nairaland to paint yourself as saint while you are the real devil.

adam500hr:
Was not blind, met within 3 wks, got pregnant, told my parents i cant marry her cos i dont know her well, sbut they said in order to avoid shame for her family cos her pops was a pastor and that i woudnt want the same fate to become of my own daughter, that i'll just have to marry her. Thats where the story of my life began.

UnimkeAk:
I REPEAT ... IN THIS COUNTRY, NO WOMAN OF THIS GENERATION IS EVER GRATEFUL.... NO MATTER WHAT YOU HAVE DONE FOR A WOMAN , JUST TURN DOWN HER REQUEST ONE OR TWO TIMES , THE NEXT THING YOU'LL HEAR IS WHAT HAVE YOU EVEN DONE FOR ME.

cruchenuti:
Show me your data or proof oga. Don't start talking aimlessly like Donald trump.

klexycole:
This is the root of the problem. Very pathetic!

Basseybruce:
.................. @ Kle.xycol.e, God bless you. Did i just hear 3 weeks?

Mehn! It's just too short.

Boss13:
This is a pathetic case of mistrust and lack of communication. There is so much mistrust amongst men and women these days. It's such a shame. Everybody is considering the easy way out and shockingly divorce is not as easy as presumed. The people who say it is do so because they don't want to be laughed at and told they have made a mistake.

Adams, I'm sad you brought your issue to a public forum and at the same time, you might have been in a huge distressed. So it's quite understandable. However, if you read the comments posted on your issue, it should give you the chills and a rethink to never do it again. Strangers insulting your wife, asking you to carry out paternity test on your kids, recommending you flog your wife or get a side chick to make her mellow. Some calling your wife an ingrate. These are people who don't know you, your wife or your family. Others saying the root cause to your marital problems is because you got her pregnant 3 weeks into your relationship. Man, I feel terrible for you.

First, you insulted your wife. You called her unprintable names. You also accused her of cheating without verifiable evidence - for these reasons, you MUST apologize to you wife. Please note that I stressed "must". Whether your wife is cheating or not, you have no proof for now. I also understand you were furious emotional, it happens. Now, you have to apologize.

Second, you are NOW a family with two lovely kids who needs both of you to survive in this tough world. Nobody, I repeat, nobody will ever love or treat your kids better than you and get the same satisfaction from seeing them thrive. Not even the side chick you may be considering bringing in. Adams, most marriages go through tough times, even on a consistent trend. So this is your moment to dig in and remove the friction.

Probably in your mind, you keep wondering if you had not gotten her pregnant in this first place. You know what every man, in marital distress, think the same too. That you married your wife 3 weeks into courtship after she got pregnant, proves you are a better man and one who listens to sound advice. Many men will bail and even ignore the baby.

Third, there is mistrust in your home. You don't trust your wife's business judgement and she doesn't trust you in being with her still the end. Both of you need to sort that out. You must also understand that people fail and that your wife wants to push ahead shows she wants to succeed. Her success should also be your success. You MUST help her succeed. Also, note that I stressed the must again. If you don't have the money let her know, if you can help with the loan, please do. Don't shove her aside. Support her dream and she will be grateful. Also, on the gift stuff, I think she has a point on the name issue. If you are not comfortable with that, buy all properties in the family name. It's not a gift when it's in your name - it's a loan.

It's also sad that your wife is belittling you to her friends, whether male or female. It's very sad indeed. Maybe because she lacks support and encouragement from you. Remember both of you are partners and should be on the same team. Eradicate this mistrust and bring your wife closer, encourage her, praise her and love her even when she is wrong. I bet you will do the same for your kids, so why not for the woman who gave you those children.

Finally, remove the notion that your wife is cheating and you want to seek separation. My brother, that divorce grass is not sweet at all. It will destroy your children's confidence, increase your mistrust for women, destroy your home because the other woman is more likely to mistreat your kids, degrade your wife, reduce the happiness in your family, increase the chances of you dying on time from stress. Only selfish people divorce and trust me, selfish people are never happy. Go and make up with your wife. Don't start another family because you ALREADY have a family.

I leave you with this - if you seek happiness, you must be happy. If you seek love, you must love. Love your wife no matter what.

UnimkeAk:
I REPEAT ... IN THIS COUNTRY, NO WOMAN OF THIS GENERATION IS EVER GRATEFUL.... NO MATTER WHAT YOU HAVE DONE FOR A WOMAN , JUST TURN DOWN HER REQUEST ONE OR TWO TIMES , THE NEXT THING YOU'LL HEAR IS WHAT HAVE YOU EVEN DONE FOR ME.

Dhayor001:
Pussy nigga with a good home, a happy marriage and a great wife. I think being a pussy nigga suits me bro.


Cheers

adam500hr:
I really want to thank you all for your comments. Whatever happens to a man and he brings it over to social media, in the end, the wisdom he has inclusive of some positive comments here will actually be the outcome of what I'll decide to do. In the end, my decision is what matters.

I'll like to address some misinformation here, and the first is the repeated quote from hungerbad where praises for his intelligent post is seen on here. It was not a shop she was gonna rent, its a space for creche, which she is running at the other place I rented a year plus now. Also, I have to the realization that even if your guts feelings tell u that ur wife is cheating, without evidence, one needs to chill, and if need be you want to uncover the truth take your time and investigate. Trust me yall, its not easy to observe things that would tell u ur woman is cheating and you'll sit still and be looking like lukmon, there are many reasons I have observed that I wont have time to share here.

Also, I would like to address the issue of paternity test, truly when trust is not fully established, and you see further reasons to doubt the paternity of your child, then a DNS isnt a bad idea. I'm actually 100% sure of my first born, apart from the sparkling resemblance, which in most cases is not an asssurance of ownership, the bloodily bond is there, I can feel it deep down, I wont even need to do DNA, and the same goes with my second as well. I dont want to go into that, even if on eof them arent mine, they already call me daddy, where do I want to land the fate of whichever isnt mine if discovery is made?

I loved my wife when we started courting, the plan for pregnancy was mutual, the love making was mutuall and real, it was just a mistake on my path that you dont sleep with who you dont know if by knowing that u guys arent compatible you wont be able to marry her. However within the last 5 and half years, We both have tried as much as possible to make things work, though she still seem to be the one lagging behind with issues of respect, obedience and loyalty and signs of infidelity.

Another thing is first business is successful, infact there isnt enough space to contain more children, but the major problem is accountability and management, shes 0% in those aspect, meaning no savings to pay rent, profit is spent without proper accounting, thought I understand most parents dont pay their wards fees at the appropriate time which causes imbalance in trying to accurately account for what comes in and whats going out. The only reason why she stated she wanted to move is because the baby's moving from age 3 are heading to a proper school, and she'll lose them, meaning she would start over by sourcing for new babys', so if she can secure the other side, she'll just move them to the new nursery and preschool without having to lose them to other schools. I told her i dont have the cash now, she needs to exercise patience, and she should be hopeful that kids will leave and new ones will come, at least thats how she started.

I just didnt call her a hoe from the secret calls and the mistaken statement of "blw job" It was based on the phone conversation I overheard from the bug i placed on her phone, where I found out that she was seductively talking to the dude in a sexy tone that I never heard her talk with, after confronting her and advised her to cut ties, she had another convo with him where I was being slandered and my wife refered to me as guy in the convo, thats what made me bad and resorted to calling her names, the scope of having her confesss to what I dont know is because if a woman ,talkless of a wife can discuss you with another male, it could probably mean they have had sex, or they are about to, whichever way round, out of anger, such woman might be called a hoe.

I had provided the evidence of the call, she cried and apologized that the dude was a old friend that she didnt want to make him feel bad while trying to cut ties with him, reason why he had to say such things about me, I asked if she respected his feelings more than the man that chose to marry you out of all that i have met, she said she was sorry. I tabled down a whole lot that I never thought would come off my mind, but due to the fact that I have sat her down to thrash issues out b4,, and nothing ever changes, I decided to have her embark on some strict rules which she quickly accepted, because I will not tolerate any more of this same instance or any other related as I want to live long.

adam500hr:
Was not blind, met within 3 wks, got pregnant, told my parents i cant marry her cos i dont know her well, sbut they said in order to avoid shame for her family cos her pops was a pastor and that i woudnt want the same fate to become of my own daughter, that i'll just have to marry her. Thats where the story of my life began.

Omotayor123:
Mr. adam500hr

I'm talking now from your wife point of view.

she's not cheating on you at all. All those attitude and things she displayed are just stunts to make you jealous and do the needful. But you took it the wrong way.

she's used to you giving her what she wanted and on this matter you should have employ diplomacy & stood your ground without hurting her emotions. But you did.

The fact where she asked you what you have ever done for her is peculiar to all women. you can't judge her based on that. it's Everywhere.

And for you to call her a hoe and other names on baseless accusations is just the height of it all for her. she can't stand it anymore hence her decision to leave.

first you turn down her request, she tries to get your attention and you took it to another level already.

Bro. for the love of God pls. Apologize to your wife and let this end.
You shouldn't let your beautiful marriage end like that.

Afterwards, tell her all your grievances about her attitudes and all. I'm sure she will apologize too. pls. let sleeping dogs lie

Apology doesn't mean you are Right or the other is Wrong, it simply means you value your relationship more than you ago. Why not say sorry And move Forward

adam500hr:
I really want to thank you all for your comments. Whatever happens to a man and he brings it over to social media, in the end, the wisdom he has inclusive of some positive comments here will actually be the outcome of what I'll decide to do. In the end, my decision is what matters.

I'll like to address some misinformation here, and the first is the repeated quote from hungerbad where praises for his intelligent post is seen on here. It was not a shop she was gonna rent, its a space for creche, which she is running at the other place I rented a year plus now. Also, I have to the realization that even if your guts feelings tell u that ur wife is cheating, without evidence, one needs to chill, and if need be you want to uncover the truth take your time and investigate. Trust me yall, its not easy to observe things that would tell u ur woman is cheating and you'll sit still and be looking like lukmon, there are many reasons I have observed that I wont have time to share here.

Also, I would like to address the issue of paternity test, truly when trust is not fully established, and you see further reasons to doubt the paternity of your child, then a DNS isnt a bad idea. I'm actually 100% sure of my first born, apart from the sparkling resemblance, which in most cases is not an asssurance of ownership, the bloodily bond is there, I can feel it deep down, I wont even need to do DNA, and the same goes with my second as well. I dont want to go into that, even if on eof them arent mine, they already call me daddy, where do I want to land the fate of whichever isnt mine if discovery is made?

I loved my wife when we started courting, the plan for pregnancy was mutual, the love making was mutuall and real, it was just a mistake on my path that you dont sleep with who you dont know if by knowing that u guys arent compatible you wont be able to marry her. However within the last 5 and half years, We both have tried as much as possible to make things work, though she still seem to be the one lagging behind with issues of respect, obedience and loyalty and signs of infidelity.

Another thing is first business is successful, infact there isnt enough space to contain more children, but the major problem is accountability and management, shes 0% in those aspect, meaning no savings to pay rent, profit is spent without proper accounting, thought I understand most parents dont pay their wards fees at the appropriate time which causes imbalance in trying to accurately account for what comes in and whats going out. The only reason why she stated she wanted to move is because the baby's moving from age 3 are heading to a proper school, and she'll lose them, meaning she would start over by sourcing for new babys', so if she can secure the other side, she'll just move them to the new nursery and preschool without having to lose them to other schools. I told her i dont have the cash now, she needs to exercise patience, and she should be hopeful that kids will leave and new ones will come, at least thats how she started.

I just didnt call her a hoe from the secret calls and the mistaken statement of "blw job" It was based on the phone conversation I overheard from the bug i placed on her phone, where I found out that she was seductively talking to the dude in a sexy tone that I never heard her talk with, after confronting her and advised her to cut ties, she had another convo with him where I was being slandered and my wife refered to me as guy in the convo, thats what made me bad and resorted to calling her names, the scope of having her confesss to what I dont know is because if a woman ,talkless of a wife can discuss you with another male, it could probably mean they have had sex, or they are about to, whichever way round, out of anger, such woman might be called a hoe.

I had provided the evidence of the call, she cried and apologized that the dude was a old friend that she didnt want to make him feel bad while trying to cut ties with him, reason why he had to say such things about me, I asked if she respected his feelings more than the man that chose to marry you out of all that i have met, she said she was sorry. I tabled down a whole lot that I never thought would come off my mind, but due to the fact that I have sat her down to thrash issues out b4,, and nothing ever changes, I decided to have her embark on some strict rules which she quickly accepted, because I will not tolerate any more of this same instance or any other related as I want to live long.

AlfaAce:
If you really wanna live long,LEAVE that woman alone!

cruchenuti:
Show me your data or proof oga. Don't start talking aimlessly like Donald trump .

Dhayor001:
1. Never yell.

2. Don't call names or use insults

3 Never make statements that you cant back up sooner or later

Obviously you have made a big mistake here. And until you have undeniable proof, I suggest you call your wife and apologise sincerely.

What she said about a Mouth Action and the stylish hanging up may be ploys to get you worked up and raise the money for her, or they may be true that she's cheating. As you have no proof of either, you have to be the man and eat the humble pie.

As for her not wanting orgasms, bros na your wife o. However hard she might act, there are moves you make that (you know) drives her mad. Do them unexpectedly, not too much, just enough to get her excited and see if she will not give herself to you fully.

If she says she wants to leave, bro, the answer is no. Our generation should not be the one that throws things away because it is broken, we ought to mend them and make them work. Our parents did it, we can too. No be say na by force but divorce never makes things easy. Me and that woman will lock ourselves in a room for a week and work things out.

If she has cheated on you (and she confesses) and you are willing to forgive, good. If not, however, let that be the basis of you guys separating and not just cause of some money issues or emotional trauma.

If you must part ways, please the less the noise made and dust raised, the better.

Above all, be calm and meditate. Pray, it works!


Cheers.

GodnGold:
It's obvious you lack comprehension.

I don't have the time for tittle-tattle.

Please Baba,give the OP your own advice and stop mentioning me.

delishpot:
bro to be honest with you, once your instinct keeping telling you one thing, about your wife cheating, there is an atom of truth in it, and u are not far away from truth, believe me, it has happened to me, i forgive her the first one, then she did the worst, please my brother is not a do or die, you came to this world alone and you will go alone, dont allow things u met in this world send u to early grave, be a man, send that woman packing without thinking twice, from all your story, i have experienced similar thing, dont wanna go into details, be a man