₦airaland Forum

alexialin:
Example of me giving my man means ? When I buy a male designer bag on my way home to surprise my man . I open the door to my apartment , I see my man relaxed ,watching TV and he smiled and said welcome dear . I smiled weakly and walk to where he's seated . place my bags on the floor and we hug and ask how was work today? Then few mins , I hand over the gift to him and he will be like what's this? I will say open it and see nah?
He will smile and say OK?
He opens and was like wow!
Honey?? For me?? Jeez!
And quickly gives me a very tight hug and a soft passionate kiss , saying thanks my cupcake .. Wow! I love this ! And its pure 100% leather ..

The sincere smile
The surprise look
The adoring eyes
The warm tight hug
The soft passionate kiss

Is enough favour in return and enough to make my soul happy.

Likewise him too.



That appreciative and sincere smile and joy goes a long way for me.
I don't know of another person out there o.

alexialin:
And that's where your analysis is wrong.
For someone to be too emotional is not a bad thing , it simply shows she is human.

Am very emotional , likewise my man that's why we always place our selves in each other shoes when doing anything that will affect the other and that's why communication matters a lot.

As long as your best friend and her man communicates often and they both have conscience , I don't see anything wrong about them becoming man and wife .

Emotional people need companions , real life long legal companions not flings .
U are not with them when they are having their alone time ,so no need advocating the divorce before it starts .

Its not good at all

If I were your best friend ? I would have withdrawn from u quickly but surely .
Haba.

RaggedyAnn:
Marriage is not overrated. If it is what it's supposed to be, then it's awesome. But it isn't always what it's supposed to be because people who aren't suited for marriage (or each other) do it anyway, and make a mess of it. Some of the reasons many marriages hit the rocks these days are...

1. A disregard for the institution
Many people take the institution of marriage way too casually. They undermine marital vows at a whim because nobody holds them accountable. If breaking the vows were considered perjury and punishable by law, people wouldn't take them so carelessly, without serious thought. And they also won't break them as easily.

But because the only thing they answer to is their own conscience, people jump in without proper consideration.


2. Questionable motives
Why are you getting married? What are the right reasons to get married?
A. You've met someone you can't live without
B. You're of age and it's expected of you
C. You want children and it's almost too late for you
D. You need someone to keep your house in order
E. You need someone to offer you financial security
F. You are afraid of being alone
G. It's a prerequisite for the next phase of your career
H. Respectability
I. Peer or social pressure

If you run through the marital vows in your head right now, you'll realize there's just one reason that would see it to the end. But people are short-sighted and make decisions to meet immediate goals, using marriage as a means to an end.

3. Having your head in the clouds
There's a difference between being 'in love' with a person and 'loving' a person. It is easy to fall in and out of love; it doesn't mean you get to flip-flop with marriage as well. If you're in a marriage, your promise is to love not to be 'in love'. And to love means..........that tedious passage in Corinthians? Loving someone is a conscious decision which demands conscious effort. Being 'in love' is just that insane infatuation that is often fleeting, but can be extended and revitalized if you aren't lazy.

So before you decide to vow to love that person you're currently 'in love' with, see if it is a healthy choice for you.

4. Symbiosis (or a lack of it)
People are becoming self-reliant; men cannot be held to ransom by a woman who refuses to cook and women cannot be held to ransom by a man who refuses to buy her expensive things (or at least, that's were we are headed with gender equality). But there was a time when women married primarily for financial security and tolerated a whole lot of domestic abuse to keep it.

Now, emotional stability, support, companionship are crucial, and both parties must be willing to dig deep in order to find things, worthy enough, to bring to the table. If they don't, one party will begin to feel taken advantage of and suffocate under the pressure.

CokersClub:
Your points are great, believe me. But do you think our parents should be held responsible for a failed marriage?.

CokersClub:
Withdrawing from me really?. You seems not to get my drill. A situation whereby the guy beat everything out of her, yet she is persistent about marrying him, and to me, I think she's under a spell.

CokersClub:
That is kind. But such love is mostly expressed in movies.

CokersClub:
Your points are great, believe me. But do you think our parents should be held responsible for a failed marriage?.

RaggedyAnn:
If our parents pressure us unduly into relationships to 'save face' in the society or to give them grandchildren, or to consolidate friendships, at the expense of our happiness, then yes, they're culpable. But we can't really punish anyone for our failed marriage, the wreckage is ours to suffer alone.

alexialin:
Ha!

You didn't mention beating initially !

If that's the case , she better cut off from him completely.

Wait o! How can a lady be with a man who beats the hell out of her

Is she okay?

alexialin:
But it happens in real life , trust me

I do it sometimes to surprise my man , likewise him too..
Such gestures spice up the love and bond .

alexialin:
55percent , yes!

CokersClub:
Please let's contribute to this thriving universal problem. Almost every marriage this days don't last anymore, and yet almost everybody wants to get married. Am just thinking why is it that marriages this days barely last.

What are we doing wrong?.

Do you think marriage is over rated?.

Please share your opinion?.

CokersClub:
If it works for you, am glad for you. But such tricks only occur in movies, ZeeWorld etc.

MrCork:

CokersClub:
Please let's contribute to this thriving universal problem. Almost every marriage this days don't last anymore, and yet almost everybody wants to get married. Am just thinking why is it that marriages this days barely last.

What are we doing wrong?.

Do you think marriage is over rated?.

Please share your opinion?.

alexialin:
*rolls eyes*
Its not tricks !
Its part of true love and care !
Na wa for u ooo!

And it works all the time for us.

CokersClub:
55% yes?. Why? Any claim/explanations to back it up?.

MrCork:
...bro..if u can't find woman..STOP HATIN!! (no oofensece)

alexialin:
We all know what's up with some Nigerian parents .. Nobody is a novice in this matter . so my dear I don't have claim nor explanation on it .
The figure is just an assumption

CokersClub:
True love in Nigeria?. Maybe you are a foreigner right?. Does true love even exist?

Rematic:
Yes

CokersClub:
. So personally, you would jump at marriage if it comes knocking on your door?

alexialin:
Yes ! True love still exist !
Am not a foreigner , am Nigerian but I tend not to follow the Nigerian way of romance . its kind of toxic, and blurry most times

alexialin:
Of course! Am all geared up for it sef!
No dulling !
Ours will be different
We won't follow the band wagon.

CokersClub:
Really, that's impressive. But what way of romance do you follow? , and i don't even know romance now has country categories.

CokersClub:
Our parents pressure us directly and indirectly into getting married. But it all depends on the style they use.

So you are saying, we should rather blame ourselves for a failed marriage?.

alexialin:
I follow my heart Nd respond to what my soul wants .

CokersClub:
"We won't follow the band wagon" , you mean, you won't follow the Nigerian kind of romance? , so what wagon would you follow, maybe others might be interested to follow it.

RaggedyAnn:
No. I'm saying that they have their share of the blame, but they won't suffer through the consequences with us. Directly. In the end, it's not their lives, it's ours. And even though they want what's best for us, they may not always know what that is. They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

CokersClub:
That is sweet. But Believe me, a lot of people followed their heart, and ended up broken. Do you think your kind of heart is rare?.

alexialin:
Its simple
Be True to your self and have a conscience.
That's all.