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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / How Else Can One Earn Trust From A Wife? (1844 Views)
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How Else Can One Earn Trust From A Wife? by rogovo20: 3:59pm On May 27, 2017 |
Hello Nlanders, Its me again. In the last 2 years, my wife and I have agreed to make things work by putting a stop to the things we do that makes either of us think we are getting involved in infidelity. As for me, being a father and a husband, I hold my home down by adhering to the rules, and she being the foundation, she also needs to. But as far as I have improved, she has not, and she even admitted to it, but she keeps saying am not doing anything which I have to understand because there is no concrete evidence. Although, I have seen several things that I cannot start with now because the story will be long. I will just narrate that which occured from few days past. On Thursday, I called my wife to pass a message across to her, because she runs a daycare and she has nannies to represent her when shes not around. I called she didnt pick, normally if I call and she does not pick, I call her nanny to pass the phone across to her. After calling and she didnt pick, I called the nanny immediately, her number was busy, the time frame was just in btwn 1min when I called my wife back, her number was busy, so I thought she was trying to call me back. I waited to see if my phone would ring, it didnt, so I called back again, it was saying busy which is obvious she was on a call. 10 MINS later, she now called back that she saw my message that she should call me. I asked if she didnt see missed calls, she said her phone was on silent, I responded that ur number was busy twice while trying to call u and werent picking, she said the agent that has been trying to reach her was more important to speak with than taking my calls then because he has been expecting the guy to come to site. I sat her down that night, and explained that, its not like I dont trust u or am trying to figure anything out, as a mother and as a wife, if u are out, try as much as possible to be reachable, it could be an emergency or any other thing that would require u are reached promptly, she said sorry, that she'll always pick calls. Yesterday, she had gone out from work to see a consultant, she called me while she was leaving the office that she saw a lady who said she knows me, that she should say hi to me, cool, thought she was going back to work, 3 hours later, I called to ask her if my chequebook was in the car she took as I could not find it. I called 3 times, my wife didnt pick. 35 mins later, she called back saying she was buying time to get some few clothes so that when shes done, shes going back to the consultants office, that she left her phone in the car. OK! I told her am not happy, it was just yesterday that I was tutoring you about the importance of having to be reachable while outside, she said shes sorry, I also reitrated the same point I made apart from the important of picking calls, that 3weeks back after finding out she cheated on me emotionally with a guy, which is an offense enough for some impatient men to chase a wife out, that I decided to forgive and move on, but she would have to promise to adhere to some rules, and to build trust is not a joke, you would have to be careful with things you do innapropriately in order for me to start trusting you again, going out and not being reachable two consecutive times is not good, though not judging you are up to something. I let that slide. Yesterday again, I called my wife after keaving the house to the barbing salon that a friend just came from jand, will be hanging out, probably wont be back until 1:AM. she said no P. Based on the last incident when she cheated on me emotionally, I told her i was leaving the house for some days to go and heal myself, after 3 days, she took my kids around 9am, and started looking around for me, unfortunately, she left my daughter in the car parked in front of a locked gate with the engine on, carried the boy in her hands, walked down to a place she knows I might be with my friends, saw me, created drama that I must come home, was really mad when I found out that she walked this far and left my daughter in the car with the engine on. She said the children are second priority that am first. I convinced her to go back which she did, we settled and moved on. Now after telling her am hanging out, with the little argument we have had regarding not picking calls, I had a feeling she might again try to come and look for me with the kids at night, I decided to come home. But my coming home, went to the backyard to peep from our window room, I saw something ununsual. If you are reading this long story, and u want to know more, let me know and I will continue b4 some people will come here and say my story is too much. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Else Can One Earn Trust From A Wife? by NwaObinkita: 4:01pm On May 27, 2017 |
You are on a long thing Just divorce her ASAP and get peace |
Re: How Else Can One Earn Trust From A Wife? by menwongo(m): 4:01pm On May 27, 2017 |
AMERICAN GUYS WALLET 1. Dollar bills 2. Id card 3. Credit card NIGERIAN GUYS WALLET 1. Expired atm card 2 . bet 9ja slip 3. Naira bet slip 4. Tramadol 5. Bet 360 slip 6. National Id card 7. Weed 8.Condoms 9. Voters card 10. 12 different passport 11. Toothpick 12. 250 different business card AMERICAN GIRLS BAG 1. Mobile phone 2. Money 3. Apartment key 4. Atm card 5. Some Chocolate NIGERIAN GIRLS BAG 1. Hair net 2. Toothbrush 3. Wig 4. Paracetamol 5. Pad 6. Pant 7. Makeup kit 8. Bathing soap 9. Phone charger 10. Andrew liver salt 11.bra 12. 600naira plus some change not my business sha 1 Like |
Re: How Else Can One Earn Trust From A Wife? by rogovo20: 4:12pm On May 27, 2017 |
Anyway, I'll continue. Went to the backyard from our room window, the blind is onesidedly moved so I could see whats going on, to my surprise, my wife was dressing up. First she was wearing her buttlift, something she has not worn in over a year, infact never thought she had it again. The enthusiasm in her dressing gave me chills, like wow, this woman dnt dress up like this when am at home. Next thing, wore her dress and put on her best wig. Started taking photos with her phone and typing bla bla bla. She then stepped out with the kids. Following her with my car at the back , I called and asked what the kids had for dinner, and then asked if she was driving, she said yes, said she wanted to go pick Cway water. Said ok no P. Saw that she parked somewhere and bought the water, then advanced to her friends place very close. I parked to observe, she was at her friends for close to an hour, she drove out and started heading towards home. I followed, 5 mins after she got it, I bursted into the room with surprise, she was about putting off the buttlift, I then asked her, wow, why are u wearing buttlift, she said shes just testing it now, I asked if she wore it out, she swore she didnt, said its weird for u to wear buttlift u said ur not interested in again, she still denided. So I opened up to her that I saw her while she was dressing up to go out, that I didnt like that she lied again, it was part of the deal breaker for the reconciliation I made after she cheated on me, she said if she told me, I might feel she wanted to go and see a guy. So I asked why she wore it since she wanted to go buy water and see her friend not too far away from home, she said she just wanted to test how it is when she remembered she was going to buy water and kukuma wore it out. So I asked if her best wig was also part of the test, she said no, that she didnt want her friends husband to look at her as a old woman with her natural hair. Nlanders, what are your thoughts on this? Because those excuses sounds lame to me. |
Re: How Else Can One Earn Trust From A Wife? by StPete: 4:13pm On May 27, 2017 |
kindly come and conclude your story, lets get to the root of it Modified: I fear for you already and the way your marriage is going. Your wife is at the brink of cheating on you if she hasn't already started. Divorce isn't easy for a fact but you must either be ready to turn your face against her deeds or you must put your foot to the ground and make a firm decision. Either she abides by it or she should park and go. And I hope you're the breadwinner of your family cos if not, u may be the one to leave instead |
Re: How Else Can One Earn Trust From A Wife? by newyorks(m): 4:16pm On May 27, 2017 |
menwongo:kikikikiki |
Re: How Else Can One Earn Trust From A Wife? by lashorrt(f): 4:18pm On May 27, 2017 |
Sir you sound like you are needy. I'm sorry but half of your story sounds fabricated as well. Answer phone this, car park this. Arh! Narcissism |
Re: How Else Can One Earn Trust From A Wife? by mrsfavour(f): 4:42pm On May 27, 2017 |
pls take it easy,don't let what ur thinking ruin ur marriage, she is not cheating on u, continue to love her and be a good Dad. no cause for alarm yet. at times we like to shake u husbands a bit to know if truly u guys are still in love with us. I bet u she still loves u. 1 Like |
Re: How Else Can One Earn Trust From A Wife? by Headlesschicken(m): 4:52pm On May 27, 2017 |
This sh!t called marriage, nigga pls gv dat woman some breathing space,if u keep mounting pressure on her like diz,u would soon find wat u r looking for.... Let her be men,if she x a cheater no ma8r how careful she x someday she would expose herself, then u do d needful... 1 Like |
Re: How Else Can One Earn Trust From A Wife? by NwaObinkita: 10:36pm On May 27, 2017 |
mrsfavour: You are either bad woman or a masochist.. Why will anyone subject someone they love to such emotional trauma just to see if they love them. After marriage you are still testing your husband. Grow up please 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Else Can One Earn Trust From A Wife? by neutrotoba(m): 10:59pm On May 27, 2017 |
Stop monitoring your wife up and down. Why would you come from town and go straight to the window. Its like you're just looking for her slip up so you can say "I knew it" Focus all that energy into actually making the young marriage work. And again, stop letting everyone into your business, you needn't ask nairalanders for advice on everything that happens in your marriage, its more than third party interference, thousands of nairalanders will read this thread and get to know what's going on in your home. Don't let fvck niggas start trying their luck with your wife before you realize that you're inviting disrespect for her with all these stories... Peace 5 Likes |
Re: How Else Can One Earn Trust From A Wife? by jieta: 11:09pm On May 27, 2017 |
only one Toto nai one kill you so, marry another woman follow your wife all this nonsense go stop. 3 Likes |
Re: How Else Can One Earn Trust From A Wife? by Gpopsicle(m): 12:25am On May 28, 2017 |
rogovo20: please continue sir.. |
Re: How Else Can One Earn Trust From A Wife? by luminouz(m): 1:51am On May 28, 2017 |
*sighs* will I ever marry with all dis husband-wife drama? |
Re: How Else Can One Earn Trust From A Wife? by zicoraads: 2:56am On May 28, 2017 |
You have time. |
Re: How Else Can One Earn Trust From A Wife? by ademoladeji(m): 4:16am On May 28, 2017 |
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Re: How Else Can One Earn Trust From A Wife? by konkonbilo(m): 4:42am On May 28, 2017 |
Bro, this an old story.have read this piece before on nairaland. |
Re: How Else Can One Earn Trust From A Wife? by OgahBohz: 5:16am On May 28, 2017 |
luminouz: azn ehen , marriage scares d shit out ov me. if its not cheatn ishh it will be naging ish or money or sex or blah blah blah..... d issue of babymama is bcming interesting to me this days |
Re: How Else Can One Earn Trust From A Wife? by OgahBohz: 5:19am On May 28, 2017 |
oga op..jez relax, and stop worring ur self, u js make sure u use condoms to protect yourself also gobout and catch ur fun.... at least don't loose in both ways |
Re: How Else Can One Earn Trust From A Wife? by pafestula(m): 5:25am On May 28, 2017 |
There is one part of the story which I don't understand sir, kindly elucidate further on "she cheated on me emotionally" before I give you my verdict on this issue. |
Re: How Else Can One Earn Trust From A Wife? by missyadorable(f): 5:43am On May 28, 2017 |
This should be in the LITERATURE Section Honestly,I hate men whining If you are no longer comfortable with your wife Instead of playing victim,divorce her and remarry Abi u no get money? 3 Likes |
Re: How Else Can One Earn Trust From A Wife? by Carlmax(m): 6:37am On May 28, 2017 |
rogovo20: you should have waited outside her friend's house to see who else came out after her, or go in to the friend's house in pretense of looking for her. Am guessing her friend's house is her point of rendezvous with Mr X. 1 Like |
Re: How Else Can One Earn Trust From A Wife? by ogorwyne(f): 6:40am On May 28, 2017 |
Agrovick arsenal win Chelsea o. why you hide? |
Re: How Else Can One Earn Trust From A Wife? by pafestula(m): 6:42am On May 28, 2017 |
Carlmax: You spoke my mind, exactly the same question I wanted ask him, your guessing is the same as mine too! |
Re: How Else Can One Earn Trust From A Wife? by mokset123: 7:11am On May 28, 2017 |
I think your wife was trying to seduce or assess how attractive her friends husband would see her if she is married. Why wear her best wig and butt lift knowing fully well you aren't going anywhere special other than buy cway and see a family friend or she tried looking good in order to get attention from men with an intention to flirt or commit adultery with them |
Re: How Else Can One Earn Trust From A Wife? by Nobody: 7:23am On May 28, 2017 |
At OP ... sorry just by the way are you the same person who bugged his wife's phone on a post in the family section couple of weeks ago ? |
Re: How Else Can One Earn Trust From A Wife? by Nobody: 7:27am On May 28, 2017 |
missyadorable: Mrs adorable ... You surprised me with this post this morning . What about his kids in the equation ? Divorce is not just some red button in a black car driven by two men in black that you just press and the car goes faster ... The least we can do is advise him or leave him to his fate . No offence sister . |
Re: How Else Can One Earn Trust From A Wife? by agrovick(m): 7:29am On May 28, 2017 |
ogorwyne: |
Re: How Else Can One Earn Trust From A Wife? by luminouz(m): 8:27am On May 28, 2017 |
OgahBohz: |
Re: How Else Can One Earn Trust From A Wife? by Nobody: 8:47am On May 28, 2017 |
Hmm monitoring women never ends well. Just leave her alone and .... But if you catch her.... Don't forgive. Pafestula howdy? |
Re: How Else Can One Earn Trust From A Wife? by missyadorable(f): 9:06am On May 28, 2017 |
tobianthony: Oh! Really? I thought kids didn't matter to men Women are so many,desperately looking for husbands They can marry and remarry as they wish It doesn't matter how many times a man marries and remarries.He is a man and is in charge So they brag This makes no difference.Stop whining and divorce her.Simple Kids don't matter.Men can have kids at any age,they only need to be alive |
Re: How Else Can One Earn Trust From A Wife? by moyarhtohbadt(f): 9:10am On May 28, 2017 |
Rogovo20 you have issues; Compound issues. If you continue to deprive yourself of peace of mind, you will just die. Your wife and you are two different individuals from different sources who have decided to come together to live and grow old together as a family, in PEACE. If its not working, get out, its not rocket science!!!!!!! Your wife is either not getting enough from you or she just wants to have fun, either ways there's not much you can do, so let her be! If u don't want to leave because of your kids, Cool. Talk to her calmly about how you really love her and would never cheat, as much as you can; give her good sex, care for her, buy her gifts, help her with chores, gist with her, gossip with her, send her random texts saying you love her, drop romantic notes for her in the bathroom; slip them into her purse, compliment her food,go to the gym with her, go to church with her, pray with her ( let her be the one to lead the prayers mostly, it works for guilt conscience) STOP trailing her. That is all you are required to do. IT IS NOT YOUR DUTY TO QUESTION HER, IT'S GOD's. 1 Like |
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