Please try and confess to him and make it clear how it all happened. It happened around me where a woman was cheating with Rev father because the husband is always on rig work. The Rev father was always consoling her each time she cry to him complaining she feel like having sex With a man, but the husband is not there. She confessed after having fun with the pastor and I told her to confess to the husband at least meet the father and clear the issue. It was done and they are still leaving together happily.

Prepare to pack and go back to your father's house

Ginaz:
Hmmmm, this is a heavy matter. I for one is against adultery vehemently. And would not consider dating a married man while single let alone when I get married sleep outside my matrimonial home.

O.p you have already committed the act but a wise man once said "lies are heavy and a burden to carry but a tear drop of truth heals the soul for eternity.

You must confess to him, he is your husband and the one you vowed for life and till death. Confessing to God and to him will set you free.

No matter how you hide it, the truth shall come out one day. Will he be happy that you made him a fool and kept a lie for so long? It will extend matters and make forgiving hard for him.

The truth always hurt, tell him, no matter how you try to salvage your mistake it won't stop it from hurting still. If you're truly repentant tell him so he can forgive you. He will get mad for sure but that's when you'd do all you can to earn his trust back.

Tell the truth and set yourself free. You're living in bondage, set yourself free. It's hard, I know, just try.

Let me ask you a question, don't you think it would be disastrous if he finds out you cheated on him from another source? And you sleeps with him on the same bed, make love to him, feeds him, kiss and touches him,, do you think withholding the truth is the right thing to do?

You can hide but you can't run. Tell him the truth.

Thank you for this. The truth will always come out

istoctober:


l have asked a pastor and he said l shouldn't confess but am worried cos he told me on Sunday that his uncle who is a native doctor will know if l am cheating on him.

Men, these are the kind of women you should avoid and never marry.

Women who put their affairs first to their pastors.

You are a cheap prey for these religious entrepreneurs.

Once you over come this fear, you will do it again and again and again. Pastors, bishops, evangelists, gospel singers will fvk you over and over again.

Your type can't fall to anyone but to the religious ones.

My advice to you is to do away with your gullibity and face family. stop looking at these men like semi-gods. Think for yourself.


I repeat, you will do it again once you overcome this guilt and fear!!!

KingEbukasBlog, felixomor, ishilove, come carry your sister

Ishilove:

She has confessed to God and has never gone back to it. There is no point in damaging her marriage over what has happened in the past.

Do you know the terrible consequences that may follow? Will you advice your own sister to toe that line knowing the kind of husband she has?

Abeg leave matter. Wisdom is profitable

Yeah! Let her enjoy her marriage here on earth by not confessing to whom she offended, & go to hell when she dies!

istoctober:


it will shock him. Am even worried about him hating me including other women entirely..
Definitely, he will send me packing for that.

Please don't decide for him. If he truly love u, he will cover the shame for both of you and if otherwise you know your conscience is free of the guilt.

Permit me to ask;
How long have u benin married to him?
Are there kids in the picture?
Has he ever accused u before?
How's your relationship with his family?

These are some of the factors he will consider before he decide on anything.


My humble opinion is that you tell him all preferably in the middle of the night that precedes a weekend and the day before that give him great treats which might be his last from you or otherwise.


Thanks

I feel for you, but I will advice you to stay put, if u confess to him, as you said he will send you packing, if he send u packing u will definitely continue to see other men, as in body no be wood. Now my point is make peace with yourself n God will see u tru or else that which u are afraid will come to pass. But if you are ready to confess n face the consequences then be ready not to have anything to do with d opposite sex. Good luck

istoctober:


No! l am not portraying any attitude to signify such life is going on.

With a conscience like yours, I suggest you confess to him.
You have a virgin heart, unadulterated. It's a rarity and a thing of beauty.
But Timing and Presentation are of utmost importance. Be prepared for the consequences.


It would have been easier to salvage your marriage by simply living with the secret but your conscience might just continue to haunt you and attract negative karma viz your miscarriage.

Personally i would prefer my wife keeps this secret from me as long it's only the once cos i'll find it hard to trust her again, clearly no more vigils.lol

Confessions to him may do more harm than good. What the eyes did not see, the ear did not hear and the mouth did not talk, the mind will not ache. The most important is to confess to God with genuine repentance not to go back. But pls don't confess to your husband to avoid the usual. Sorry it happened but summon up courage to forgive yourself. Don't go that path that lead you to that. I'm quit sure it all started with a phone call then graduate to whatsapp messages and phonograph

ShaqFu:
I'll advice my sister to tell her husband the truth! It's that simple.

She confessed to God means what exactly? Was God the person she cheated on?

Sometimes I smile when I see how just devious many of you christians can be when things like this surface. I reaffirms my zeal never to find myself about people who twist the truth just so they can save face.

Until she confess to her husband, she will never know peace. God whom she confessed to hasn't yet given her peace, has he? If he has, why is her conscience eating her from deep inside her?

The truth, I've learnt, is bitter, but it is always nice to swallow it and say it, no matter what.

She hasn't found peace because she hasn't forgiven herself. She sees herself as worthless and undeserving of mercy

Truth sometimes is subjective, like in this case.

istoctober:
l had to open this account to tell this story and l know that l will be bashed for this but l really need to get it off my chest.
it was in 2014, that l cheated on him and since then, l have not been myself. l have confessed to Pastors but l can't forget it and my mind keep telling me that God has forgotten about me cos whenever l pray, l find it difficult to concentrate and that's why l want to confess to him.
l know he will send me packing because he said something like that to me and the fear is what is keeping me from confessing to him. l don't want to be disgraced out of my home cos my husband will definitely do it.
l can't blame him for my shortcomings but myself for allowing devil into my home.
l really need your advice for help.... You can curse me but l deserve it for being a loose woman but l seriously need help cos depression wants to take over my life that l think of suicide to escape shame and mockery from people in case he finds out.

for everyone advising you its that easy to confess cheating,they are wrong,the psychological make up of a man especially the one who is possessive and has never cheated on his wife is dangerous when degraded or giving spite,
there are two scenarios involved,one he will forgive but will become hardwired to begin to cheat and abuse u psychologically since he will feel u aint worth it, or he will become manic to the extent of death to you or himself. never underestimate the anger of a good man scorned.i will advise you to buy a punch newspaper any Wednesday edition there is page there for cases like this and she is an expert,send her an email anonymously seeking her expert advise... or u message me back i can get you the email and message to you on here whichever works for you. thats my advice for you. Gods favour to you.

Confessions to him may do more harm than good. What the eyes did not see, the ear did not hear and the mouth did not talk, the mind will not ache. The most important is to confess to God with genuine repentance not to go back. But pls don't confess to your husband to avoid the usual. Sorry it happened but summon up courage to forgive yourself. Don't go that path that lead you to that. I'm quit sure it all started with a phone call[color=#000099][/color] then graduate to whatsapp messages and phonograph

istoctober:


I don't want to go into details but l have no right to cheat on my spouse no matter what... l guess l was confused and l have learnt my lesson.

If you are not ready to give details here where you are not known, I doubt that you are ready to so in his presence.

you cheated on your husband not your pastor .. confessing to the whole pastors in the world will solve nothing. despite the confession, you still feel guilty. why? ...there is something you are yet to do.. and you know it. you can't cheat nature. go and make your atonement. that's only when deep peace can come in..
sometimes you just have to bear the consequences of your actions and this is not exceptional..

@op d devil has done wt firs phase wt u, u've indeed done d right thing believe heaven av seen ur agony and state of mind hence d lord himself has pardon u. D second phase of devil work is to destroy ur hm, and 4 u not 4giving urself wen d lord heard ur cry is anoda sin on its own. My sister don't and don't tell ur husband pray fast 4 d lord to heal ur conscience. Gracias!

Ishilove:

My brother, they will come and preach but behind closed doors they are committing. God is surely a merciful God

Many of those pastors would have been atheists but you ladies forced them into church by insisting a man must believe in 'God' before you date or marry him. So they are now in church as pastors to be able to get as much women as they desire.

Ishilove:

She hasn't found peace because she hasn't forgiven herself. She sees herself as worthless and undeserving of mercy

Truth sometimes is subjective, like in this case.

My dear the truth can never and will never be subjective! It is what it is, pure, crystal and unadulterated.

People who say the truth is subjective are those who gives people reason to question their person, character and actions.

You just gave me ample reason to do the above.

istoctober:
l had to open this account to tell this story and l know that l will be bashed for this but l really need to get it off my chest.
it was in 2014, that l cheated on him and since then, l have not been myself. l have confessed to Pastors but l can't forget it and my mind keep telling me that God has forgotten about me cos whenever l pray, l find it difficult to concentrate and that's why l want to confess to him.
l know he will send me packing because he said something like that to me and the fear is what is keeping me from confessing to him. l don't want to be disgraced out of my home cos my husband will definitely do it.

na so na.

holier than thou Nairaland resident wives

hypocrites !

GMbuharii:


correct..to avoid being "hitted" by another headache,lolssss

English pursuer!


....lolz,the person that is pained now know himself.
if not you will not be jumping from thread to thread.


Anyway,I love your new job.keep it up,I hope your impoverished family will live on it.

smoooty11:
Madam op are u a nigerian? If yes i have just one advice for you, just go to a pastor or catholic priest and confess your sin and let it end there . I know 2 real life scenarios like yours where their husbands dirvosed them after conffesion of their infidelity to their husbands these women are now walking around like psycopaths not talking to anybody or greeting anybody again.

A typical forgiving Nigerian husband will tell you he has forgiven your infidelity. But will remind you of this same infidelity if you dont make his food on time, at any slitest provocation, when he is not in a good mood, when you make him angry during an arguement .A wise nairalander once said and i quote

Because the pain is permanent! That is why divorce is inevitable.

How many times do the men confess after frolicking with other ladies out there? Why do we make it look like its only an abominable act when a woman cheat? Men are the worst cheats in marriage.

Madam, you already made the mistake and you acknowledged it. There are certain secrets you take to your grave, and this is one of it.


Confessing your sin to your husband may become the beginning of your worst nightmares in life. He will always use it against you whenever you quarrel. He will start feeling resentment towards you, treat you with disdain, have a reason to cheat to your face.


Forgive yourself and move on with your life.


My 2cents tho

why i do not have any word of advice for you is that if i knew your husband personally i would be the one to tell him because i hate cheat, gerarahere.

Madam, just take my advice now. You said since 2014 and you have seek for forgiveness from God. God has forgiven you because he said he can forgive all sins if you seek for it. But don't do it again henceforth. Relax your mind and make yourself happy. Don't confess to your husband. When you confess to him, it will destroy your marriage and spoil your dignity and you will be watered by heavy shame. So make yourself happy because you have already seek for forgiveness. Stop behaving strange because your husband will detect your strange behavior and ask you questions and you will open up and that is final. Take it now. Bye

let me birth my opinion here..

op, op, op..

read my lips..do not confess.
your conscience is already too pricky enough to arouse his suspicion. .

You have gone through enough damage already judging from ur write up..ur conscience has written u off..

you are not prepared for his reaction..his writing you off may trigger suicidal tendecies. MEN DONT FORGIVE CHEATING WIVES. NEVER!!

Those egging you to confess have not seen the real danger in doing so. I suspect your wailing conscience is borne out of fear rather than out of love. I suspect your husband is the macho and over domineering type, hence, your queerish disposition. .

Imagine your loving and adorable husband threatening you with a native doctor! !!

he may not send u packing..but my dear, hell will be a better aboard should u confess.

If are truely sorry as depicted in this write up, then forgive yourself and move on. You think you are perfect ba? You think you are the only one without sin?

Maybe your ancestors are calling you. he who the gods want to kill..

Please confess and compare the resultant end to what I have predicted here..

wish u luck

Troll alert jare

ShaqFu:
My dear the truth can never and will never be subjective! It is what it is, pure, crystal and unadulterated.

People who say the truth is subjective are those who gives people reason to question their person, character and actions.

You just gave me ample reason to do the above.

Did you deliberately misinterprete my statement? The truth about what she should do is what I meant, Shaq!

Abeg don't piss me off this morning jare.

Good day

Too bad and some will be cheating constantly as if they are in a competition with somebody and without any atom of remorse. If everyone had this kind of conscience that pricks them for doing wrong, the world would have been a better place. @op I hope it isn't your first you ate the apple with, because women and the guy who hit it first always have this kind of bond that exist, that I can't fathom.

Ishilove:

Did you deliberately misinterprete my statement? The truth about what she should do is what I meant, Shaq!

Abeg don't piss me off this morning jare.

Good day

It is exactly what i'm saying. There is no other interpretation.

Please, remain pissed. You've earned it.

Truth of the matter is sin committed against humanity and God must be confessed to both.Without her confessing to her husband,she can't get forgiveness and peace of mind.With sincere tears and genuine repentance and through pleading from your family, your husband will eventually forgive you,though it may take time to heal.
Confession is hard but releases one from bondage.
I implore you don't procrastinate, do it today

istoctober:


l have asked a pastor and he said l shouldn't confess but am worried cos he told me on Sunday that his uncle who is a native doctor will know if l am cheating on him.

1. Why did you even discuss this with a pastor? I don't get it though. You cheated with a pastor and then confessed to another pastor? how does your brain work? really?. Even I wouldn't want to know if a friend cheated on their spouse let alone a pastor? Truth is if a friend of mine cheated on his/her spouse, I will never look at them the "same way again" and that is just me. I can imagine the pastor looking at you same...or maybe he is also busy cheating on his spouse and the fact that he told you not to confess to your spouse? I can understand if a rolls eyes "mere man" told you that but a pastor?

If you were looking for someone to confess to why not your spouse?

I can only speak for myself here. I do not want to know if my spouse is cheating or has cheated on me....cos the day I found out that will be the day we decide on separation and then divorce afterwards. I cannot forget or lie or be with a spouse after knowing that person has been with someone else post wedding/marriage.

2. What is with your husband and his mental torture? which one is native doctor will tell him if you have cheated or are cheating on him? okay if you hadn't cheated him I would have advised you to give him a stern warning not to disrespect you like that but then you cheated so the onus is on you to either confess and tell him what you have done or keep quiet and continue to feel pity/sorry for yourself.

3. Whatever you decide to do just bear in mind that things will never remain the same once you tell your spouse. Things' are not even the same now hence the guilt and I think you have portrayed the symptoms for him to threaten you with a native doctor. What normal/sane spouse will wake up one morning and begin to mentally/psychologically threaten the other half with native doctor nonsense?

Ask yourself why you cheated in the first place? what made you do it? where there issues at home? We know you feel remorse now so that's you dealing with the consequence of your action....the big Q is what led to the action?answer these questions and maybe then you might be able to forgive yourself...but until you do, tell your husband or not, this guilt will ride with you all the days of your life

Goodluck..you definitely need it

Rukkydelta:
Hmmm
Op if you want to loose your marriage tell him
If he do not divorce you he will certainly change his attitude towards you that you are going to regret why you ever tell him the truth and it may lead to low self-esteem on your part
But please you need to answer the question why did you cheat on your husband?
even though your act of cheating isn't justifiable

Ah!!! Rukky I thought u could be do better than this, how can u tell her to hide away the truth from a man he made a vow to always love & cherish until death do them part.

Okoh1:
let me birth my opinion here..

op, op, op..

read my lips..do not confess
your conscience is already too pricky enough to arouse his suspicion. .

You have gone through enough damage already judging from ur write..ur conscience has written u off..

you are not prepared for his reaction..his writing you off may trigger suicidal tendecies. MEN DONT FORGIVE CHEATING WIVES. NEVER!!

he may not send u packing..but my dear, hell will be a better aboard should u confess.

If are truely sorry as depicted in this write up, then forgive yourself and move on. You think you perfect ba? You think you are the only one without sin?

Maybe your ancestors are calling, he who the gods want to kill..

Please confess and compare the resultant end to what I have predicted here..

wish u luck

It is always better to confess and have peace of mind, than not confess and have a troubled mind.