₦airaland Forum

DarkRebel69:
Your husband must have really tacky taste in women since the person he's married to, as it appears, is one incapable of following a simple train of thought.

You scolded the OP for not defending his wife when she was insulted by a poster here. And then I asked if you (Fluxcunt) replied every single troll on the internet who aspersed a family member of yours. You failed to see the logic in my statement and took to hurling sour grapes instead. Oh, I get it now... it's that time of the month, eh?

Ok. I agree with every sexist and misogynistic comment you just made. You ve really proven how intelligent you are and how dumb a blonde I am. Go and self-service yourself in ecstasy.

fluxbush:
Ok. I agree with every sexist and misogynistic comment you just made. You ve really proven how intelligent you are and how dumb a blonde I am. Go and wänk yourself in ecstasy.

It's almost 9, honey. Oga is soon to darken the doorstep of your home with the ghastly silouhette of his king-sized pot-belly. You better had go pretty yourself up; be sure to scrub that moist veld that lay in between your thighs until it's squeaky clean, put on a sexy lingerie, and wait in grim anticipation for the grisly horror that awaits you - the horror of being pummeled lovelessly while you twist and turn under the hefty rolls of grotesque lard which so happens to be your hubby's rotund tummy.

d truth is,i still dnt c a strong reason to either beat or divorce her

vanemo:
Dear Nairalanders, I am a regular on this forum but had to create a new moniker to post this.


Growing up, my father was abusive and hit my mum occasionally. I grew up seeing my mum suffer domestic violence. Eventually, my father abandoned us when I was 9 and moved in with another woman. My mum never remarried. She just focused on my upbringing and raised me alone without my father. My father just didn't care anymore after he left and didn't contribute a dime to my upbringing after he left despite efforts made by friends and family to make him take care of his responsibilities towards me.
After sometime, my mum left everything in the hands of God and focused on catering for me without minding my father.
This made me vow not to ever hit a woman not to talk of my wife because I saw firsthand how my mum suffered and it would be a shame for me to make another woman pass through the same thing my mother passed through.
I also vowed to do all within my power to keep my family one and give my kids the fatherly love I was denied as I know the negative effects of a broken home on children.
Mine is different because I have a God fearing, intelligent and hardworking mother who played the role of both father and mother in bringing me up.

Fast forward to now, I am married with a daughter. Met my wife in 2012 and we have been together ever since.
Now, my wife is a very sweet lady who has stood by me through thick and thin even when business was down sometime ago, she was there for me. Things were so bad that we could barely feed but surprisingly, she stood by me and supported me with prayers and she was even the breadwinner for about 4 months till things got better for me.
For this, I praise her a lot and cherish her for this. I am sure she loves me with her whole heart and I can say to some extent that we are happy together.

Now, the problem is that she takes me for granted sometimes and shows some lack of respect towards me which I am finding it hard to tolerate.
For example:

1. She knows I don't eat pepper. But, occasionally she would prepare meals laced with copious amounts of pepper and pass it for me to eat. This has been happening since 2013 and most times, I get angry and refuse to eat the food. 3 weeks ago, she did the same thing and for one week, I refused to eat her food despite her pleadings. Later, I forgave her and things went back to normal.

2. Sometimes, if she is going somewhere and I tell her to help me do something or buy something for me around the area where she is going to, she would always find an excuse not to do what I asked her to do. It has happened often that I have lost confidence in her.
Last week, she was going somewhere and I gave her some money and some herbal medication to give to a sick friend who lives in that area. To my chagrin, she came back without delivering the message telling me stories of why she couldn't find time to go to my friend's place.

3. This evening, she mentioned that she needed extra 300k to boost her business. This is after I had given her 600k which she asked for initially and another 200k which I didn't budget for. Our house rent is expiring in July and I have to renew it plus other expenses that are lined up. I tried explaining to her that I can't spare 300k now and we had a heated exchange. To my chagrin, she walked out on me and even when I called her back, she didn't listen to me. This is not the first time this kind of a thing is happening.

In all of this, I have never raised my hand to hit her since we met in 2012 all because of my vow never to hit a woman in my life. In the above 3 examples, I have been really tempted to break this vow but I am glad I got hold of myself.
I have told her several times that the day she will push me to the wall and I start hitting her, I would never stop and she will be the one to suffer it. I also told her that if we are to ever separate r divorce, it will never be my fault because I am pro family and I am ready to do all it takes to keep my family together and make sure my kids are brought up with their dad and mum under one roof.

I know within myself that I can never hit her no matter what but on the other hand, I can't tolerate living with a lady that takes me for granted and does not respect me.
I have thought about this.
Had it been I was the type that beat women, I think she would have been respecting me more and not taking me for granted like this.

Now, I am in a dilemma, if this continues, it is either I start hitting her or I walk away from the marriage.
Both options are not what I want but I might just be forced to do one of them and go against my vow.
If it gets worse, the better of the two evils is to walk away from the marriage with my sanity intact and take my daughter along as I would not contemplate hitting my wife because of what my mother passed through.

My dear nairalanders, pls I need your advice on this issue.

don't walk out of your marriage,don't hit her,seek counsel,I advise you to visit www.dailyfamily.ng

fluxbush:
Someone called your wife a bitch and you couldn't even pretend to defend her. What kinda husband are you? This act alone shows why she walks out on you during a heated argument. If you can condone such disrespect in a public forum,God knows how you talk to her at home.

So what if you gave her money to start her biz? So what if she cooks with much pepper? If this person was your sister or your mother,would you beat her? No matter how you try to paint yourself as a good man being pushed to the wall by his wife, we see through you. You are a petty and egotistical man. I can't believe a grown up man will refuse to eat his wife's food for a week cuz of an incident of pepper earlier that week.

Please beat her. Kill her sef. Afterall a wife is replaceable. Nonsense.

Ewooo.... This is direct.... I think u shud advice nt criticoze

I think you both should seat down and talk as man and wife.
From there you can know the reason for her change in behavior

vanemo:
Dear Nairalanders, I am a regular on this forum but had to create a new moniker to post this.


Growing up, my father was abusive and hit my mum occasionally. I grew up seeing my mum suffer domestic violence. Eventually, my father abandoned us when I was 9 and moved in with another woman. My mum never remarried. She just focused on my upbringing and raised me alone without my father. My father just didn't care anymore after he left and didn't contribute a dime to my upbringing after he left despite efforts made by friends and family to make him take care of his responsibilities towards me.
After sometime, my mum left everything in the hands of God and focused on catering for me without minding my father.
This made me vow not to ever hit a woman not to talk of my wife because I saw firsthand how my mum suffered and it would be a shame for me to make another woman pass through the same thing my mother passed through.
I also vowed to do all within my power to keep my family one and give my kids the fatherly love I was denied as I know the negative effects of a broken home on children.
Mine is different because I have a God fearing, intelligent and hardworking mother who played the role of both father and mother in bringing me up.

Fast forward to now, I am married with a daughter. Met my wife in 2012 and we have been together ever since.
Now, my wife is a very sweet lady who has stood by me through thick and thin even when business was down sometime ago, she was there for me. Things were so bad that we could barely feed but surprisingly, she stood by me and supported me with prayers and she was even the breadwinner for about 4 months till things got better for me.
For this, I praise her a lot and cherish her for this. I am sure she loves me with her whole heart and I can say to some extent that we are happy together.

Now, the problem is that she takes me for granted sometimes and shows some lack of respect towards me which I am finding it hard to tolerate.
For example:

1. She knows I don't eat pepper. But, occasionally she would prepare meals laced with copious amounts of pepper and pass it for me to eat. This has been happening since 2013 and most times, I get angry and refuse to eat the food. 3 weeks ago, she did the same thing and for one week, I refused to eat her food despite her pleadings. Later, I forgave her and things went back to normal.

2. Sometimes, if she is going somewhere and I tell her to help me do something or buy something for me around the area where she is going to, she would always find an excuse not to do what I asked her to do. It has happened often that I have lost confidence in her.
Last week, she was going somewhere and I gave her some money and some herbal medication to give to a sick friend who lives in that area. To my chagrin, she came back without delivering the message telling me stories of why she couldn't find time to go to my friend's place.

3. This evening, she mentioned that she needed extra 300k to boost her business. This is after I had given her 600k which she asked for initially and another 200k which I didn't budget for. Our house rent is expiring in July and I have to renew it plus other expenses that are lined up. I tried explaining to her that I can't spare 300k now and we had a heated exchange. To my chagrin, she walked out on me and even when I called her back, she didn't listen to me. This is not the first time this kind of a thing is happening.

In all of this, I have never raised my hand to hit her since we met in 2012 all because of my vow never to hit a woman in my life. In the above 3 examples, I have been really tempted to break this vow but I am glad I got hold of myself.
I have told her several times that the day she will push me to the wall and I start hitting her, I would never stop and she will be the one to suffer it. I also told her that if we are to ever separate r divorce, it will never be my fault because I am pro family and I am ready to do all it takes to keep my family together and make sure my kids are brought up with their dad and mum under one roof.

I know within myself that I can never hit her no matter what but on the other hand, I can't tolerate living with a lady that takes me for granted and does not respect me.
I have thought about this.
Had it been I was the type that beat women, I think she would have been respecting me more and not taking me for granted like this.

Now, I am in a dilemma, if this continues, it is either I start hitting her or I walk away from the marriage.
Both options are not what I want but I might just be forced to do one of them and go against my vow.
If it gets worse, the better of the two evils is to walk away from the marriage with my sanity intact and take my daughter along as I would not contemplate hitting my wife because of what my mother passed through.

My dear nairalanders, pls I need your advice on this issue.

See the way you have dragged your wife in the mud.15 and 16 year olds are now insulting her and calling her names like bitch.Congratulations!
I hope you are proud of yourself.

nnamdiokere45:
d truth is,i still dnt c a strong reason to either beat or divorce her

It's obvious he was never taught how to reason through a problem by thinking. No one taught him the art of conflict resolution. It's likely he was always beaten as a child when he did something wrong. Alternatively he has low self esteem and wants to have lordship over his wife.

The OP is not ready and serious about marriage. He sounds like a bitch whining and nagging. He even seems like a difficult person who is giving his wife tough time. Going by is one-sided story I can't even see anything that warrants a divorce.

In short, the way people are throwing that word up and down shows we are in a generation that don't know the meaning of perseverance.

FortuneTeller:
It's obvious he was never taught how to reason through a problem by thinking. No one taught him the art of conflict resolution. It's likely he was always beaten as a child when he did something wrong. Alternatively he has low self esteem and wants to have lordship over his wife.

You are a wise woman

fluxbush:
Someone called your wife a bitch and you couldn't even pretend to defend her. What kinda husband are you? This act alone shows why she walks out on you during a heated argument. If you can condone such disrespect in a public forum,God knows how you talk to her at home.

So what if you gave her money to start her biz? So what if she cooks with much pepper? If this person was your sister or your mother,would you beat her? No matter how you try to paint yourself as a good man being pushed to the wall by his wife, we see through you. You are a petty and egotistical man. I can't believe a grown up man will refuse to eat his wife's food for a week cuz of an incident of pepper earlier that week.

Please beat her. Kill her sef. Afterall a wife is replaceable. Nonsense.

All I deduced from his post is he is a nag, egomanic and difficult to live with. His wife is trying

Ishilove:
All I deduced from his post is he is a nag, egomanic and difficult to live with. His wife is trying

Trying, by keeping up with his bs? & letting him ride her like a horse

Silkmoth33:
Trying, by keeping up with his bs? & letting him ride her like a horse

She's his wife

eyinjuege:
Its a pity you feel the only way you can resolve conflict is by violence.

This

vanemo:
My dear I don discuss tire.

You undefined bastard

Op, people like eyinjuege, micfoley, Acidosis n the rest have said it all.

my mum always say to me 'if you can enjoy people's goodside, be ready to endure dia bad side''

Base on u write up this woman is good woman n a rare one at dat. I tink d problem is you, u ve ego n esteem issues u nid to work on. She walks out on u (tho disrespectful) so?

there are errors sumtimes in cooking, evrybody does. y make hill out of a mole?

put ur house in order man!

CcDarkRebels69 y r tackling fluxcunt? free the lady biko. if you like her, tell her

Fyi: She Is married

vanemo:
No, I don't have anger problems nor am I violent. If that was the case, I would have flipped a long time ago.
I was neither fighting nor nagging to warrant her walking out on me.
I was only trying to explain to her why I can't give her the 300k immediately but would do that a little later.
She should have waited and listened to my explanation before walking out on me and like I said this is not the first time this is happening. I've seen her once walk out on my father-in-law.
I saw all the signs during courtship but I guess her extraordinary loyalty blinded me to her other flaws.

Brother, pay no heed to the emotional garbage spewing from most of the ladies in this forum. Most of them are bias and are feminists.

They'll roast you and share a toast to your miseries. When you see married women spending much time on this forum, know that they're having serious foundational issues in their marriages and most see men as the enemy.

Simply never lay your hands on your wife. Be a good husband to her but demand your respect as a husband. Her walking out on you is very rude. Don't be beclouded by this new generation of lost women.

There're many ways to get back your respect from your wife. Let your words be few and act independent in every possible way. Even those things she loves doing for you that give her joy and a sense of wifely fulfilment do it yourself. Let her know there's no point pretending since she can disrespect you, she can go all the way. Buckle up till she tenders an apology.

You can't afford to lose your respect as a husband. It's usually the beginning of a whole lot of things going wrong.

Sorry about your dad.

vanemo:
Yes, I think a friend might have something to do with this.
I recall her telling me one time that she is ready for whatever will happen and she is not afraid of any eventuality even divorce.
In response, I told her that whoever is drumming such ideas into her ears does not love her because when and if her home breaks, those advising her now will never take her into their family.
I would definitely look into this.

When you threaten with divorce someone like me will throw it right back at your face. Marriage is not a do or die affair. I cannot even imagine my spouse threatening me with divorce after petty disagreements like the ones you have mentioned in your original post. If you think me walking away from an argument, putting too much pepper in soup, not running errands for you is the reason why anyone would threaten me with divorce, that is the day I would realize that I made a bloody life mistake by marrying a boy thinking he was a man.

Your union is an embarrassment to other great union. There are many battles to fight in marriage(hence the reason why people choose their battles wisely) and to think you consider your petty ones to be one of them is embarrassing to say the least

Indeed not everyone with a d!ck is A MAN

N what's the provocation for wanting to hit her? Does she verbally insult , rough handle, or hit you to instigate a fight? Why would you even think about wanting to hit her? Shouldn't be an option in the first instance. Think of better ways to deal with annoying people.

And how can you even say she'd respect you more if you hit her. Shows there's something wrong with your psychic too. If it becomes intolerable you walk out of the relationship and that's the very last option. Hitting her is not an option sir and you must be from another planet if you think hitting a stubborn woman will make her respect you or change. You don't wanna start a world war in your home do you?

NihinlolaTenny:
so when you guys communicate to this extent, why can't you just work on ur marriage instead of coming to NL to get people's approval to start beating her or to divorce her.
you heard what the woman said abi.? oook

she loves you, n you know it.

she doesn't cheat n you know it

she was patient with you when you were down n you know it.

very few times she makes peppery food that you don't like n you want to beat her up. so you think she's a born cook abi. EVERY WOMAN makes mistake at one point or the other when it comes to food.

in fact as far as we are human beings you CAN NEVER get a woman who would never make a mistake preparing food.

yes you don't like peppery food n I understand but what do you expect? 100percent perfection ? lol... maybe in heaven.

naturally when a woman commits an error in her cooking she feels bad especially when she knows her husband would eat out of it.

most times when my elder sister commits error with a meal she is always the one who announces it. it's not like he didn't notice but he knows she didn't do it intentionally. so.. instead of making her feel bad he would rather tell her that when she had been preparing it to his taste he had always ate it without complaining n when it's the other way round HE should also eat it without complaining or making her feel worse.

I think that is LOVE.
Pls encourage her with love, teach her with love, go into the kitchen with her if you need to and lovingly teach her. she would learn n improve.

No on gets it all on a platter of gold especially in marriage. you need to make sacrifices for love and you wouldn't even see it has tiring if you TRULY LOVE HER.

pray that God sustains your home.
YOU ARE THE HEAD OF THE HOUSE LAY GOOD EXAMPLES N ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT YOUR DAUGHTER IS WATCHING YOU BOTH. NO CHILD IS TOO YOUNG.

Obviously something is messed up in his psychic for even thinking hitting her should be an option

Ishilove:
She's his wife

Yup

And his punchbag

zaragal:
Op, people like eyinjuege, micfoley, Acidosis n the rest have said it all.

my mum always say to me 'if you can enjoy people's goodside, be ready to endure dia bad side''

Base on u write up this woman is good woman n a rare one at dat. I tink d problem is you, u ve ego n esteem issues u nid to work on. She walks out on u (tho disrespectful) so?

there are errors sumtimes in cooking, evrybody does. y make hill out of a mole?

put ur house in order man!

CcDarkRebels69 y r tackling fluxcunt? free the lady biko. if you like her, tell her

Fyi: She Is married

Hi. Please it's fluxbush. Thanks.

fluxbush:
Hi. Please it's fluxbush. Thanks.

ok ma.

zaragal:
CcDarkRebels69 y r tackling fluxcunt? free the lady biko. if you like her, tell her

Fyi: She Is married

LOL. She's Fluxbush, not FluxCUNT.

So, what if she's married? Don't you know about 60% of all married couples cheat at some point in their relationship? https://www.truthaboutdeception.com/cheating-and-infidelity/stats-about-infidelity.html

DarkRebel69:
LOL. She's Fluxbush, not FluxCUNT.

So, what if she's married? Don't you know about 60% of all married couples cheat at some point in their relationship? https://www.truthaboutdeception.com/cheating-and-infidelity/stats-about-infidelity.html

y is 'cunt' written in capital letter? badshild!

so since (base on ur own research n analysis) 60% women cheat on their spouses, you leave all d beautiful single ladies for a married woman abi? oya cum lemme pray 4 u. lol

Beating will not make a woman respect you, it will only make her pray for your untimely death or poison you outrightly . Only a foolish man will still share a home with a woman he beats. Please don't end up like that Indian man that was bagged in a suitcase . Not every woman will take your beating lying down. If you can't run your errands yourself or eat buka when the food is bad, please end the marriage without hitting anybody . Once you start violence, you can't predict where it will end, both genders are capable of maiming each other, so be guided.

TheUmbra:
Brother, pay no heed to the emotional garbage spewing from most of the ladies in this forum. Most of them are bias and are feminists.

They'll roast you and share a toast to your miseries. When you see married women spending much time on this forum, know that they're having serious foundational issues in their marriages and most see men as the enemy.

Simply never lay your hands on your wife. Be a good husband to her but demand your respect as a husband. Her walking out on you is very rude. Don't be beclouded by this new generation of lost women.

There're many ways to get back your respect from your wife. Let your words be few and act independent in every possible way. Even those things she loves doing for you that give her joy and a sense of wifely fulfilment do it yourself. Let her know there's no point pretending since she can disrespect you, she can go all the way. Buckle up till she tenders an apology.

You can't afford to lose your respect as a husband. It's usually the beginning of a whole lot of things going wrong.

Sorry about your dad.

Word. Thanks a lot

TheUmbra:
Brother, pay no heed to the emotional garbage spewing from most of the ladies in this forum. Most of them are bias and are feminists.

They'll roast you and share a toast to your miseries. When you see married women spending much time on this forum, know that they're having serious foundational issues in their marriages and most see men as the enemy.

Simply never lay your hands on your wife. Be a good husband to her but demand your respect as a husband. Her walking out on you is very rude. Don't be beclouded by this new generation of lost women.

There're many ways to get back your respect from your wife. Let your words be few and act independent in every possible way. Even those things she loves doing for you that give her joy and a sense of wifely fulfilment do it yourself. Let her know there's no point pretending since she can disrespect you, she can go all the way. Buckle up till she tenders an apology.

You can't afford to lose your respect as a husband. It's usually the beginning of a whole lot of things going wrong.

Sorry about your dad.

Wise words

From my experience I think you are becoming to controlling and possessive for her liking, and all this her odd behavior is her subtle means of telling you to back off and give her some space.

You are finding all these faults in her because you are not used to be turned down. You feel you must have your way all the time.

My advice, cut her some slack, give her space, focus more on yourself, relax, she loves you (as even confirmed by you) she isn't going anywhere.

Don't try to "OWN" her, she would resist it. Just love her but at the same time love and have time yourself, don't place your emotions on how well she responds to your command.

In essence just try to enjoy your relationship with her without trying to control it or her.