₦airaland Forum

My girl and I have been dating for four months and it's been true love all the way. I'm igbo nd she's yoruba and she's 7 months older than i am.. Recently she told her mom about us and her mom's response was that she isn't gonna give us her blessing cos I'm Igbo nd I'm younger. The problem now is that she's been punished cos of it but she still won't give up on us. I don't wanna be the reason why she and her mom won't be on good terms and at d same time, I don't wanna look like I'm giving up on her. I don't know what to do anymore.

do what ur heart tells u

cruzita:
do what ur heart tells u

I honestly don't wanna split up with her cos wah we have is very real.. But I dunno how to go about her mom

Nunushokoto:
My girl and I have been dating for four months and it's been true love all the way. I'm igbo nd she's yoruba and she's 7 months older than i am.. Recently she told her mom about us and her mom's response was that she isn't gonna give us her blessing cos I'm Igbo nd I'm younger. The problem now is that she's been punished cos of it but she still won't give up on us. I don't wanna be the reason why she and her mom won't be on good terms and at d same time, I don't wanna look like I'm giving up on her. I don't know what to do anymore.

If her mom has been reading nairaland and seeing Afonnja/flaties parole, what do you expect?

my guy 4 months is to small to decide.........just hang around her and pray for th will of God.....try not to provoke her family by doing stupid things.....there wer times I felt I cant live wit out a girl thought it was true love my spirit will always say give it time........till she show me strong thing

2dice01:
seems the mother thinks that nnamdi of a nigga is taking them to an imaginary biafran kingdom

izospindle:
my guy 4 months is to small to decide.........just hang around her and pray for th will of God.....try not to provoke her family by doing stupid things.....there wer times I felt I cant live wit out a girl thought it was true love my spirit will always say give it time........till she show me strong thing

Smiles..Thanks for the advice

I need you to have it at the back of your mind that no matter how much she loves you, she will never choose you over her mother.

Just let things go. There are other younger and ibo girls everywhere. The right person will surely come. Life is too sweet to be in a struggle relationship

irewoleola:
I need you to have it at the back of your mind that no matter how much she loves you, she will never choose you over her mother.

Just let things go. There are other younger and ibo girls everywhere. The right person will surely come. Life is too sweet to be in a struggle relationship

Hmm..

irewoleola:
I need you to have it at the back of your mind that no matter how much she loves you, she will never choose you over her mother.

Just let things go. There are other younger and ibo girls everywhere. The right person will surely come. Life is too sweet to be in a struggle relationship

Ur fvcking wrong!!!!!
How do u even know dat
The mum might change or d lady might endure....
If u know joanana on NL...ask from her how she stood n fought for her love....
A girl like u can't dou......culture n tribalism have removed ur sense of identity!!!!

Just walk away if you can't fight for what you want

Hm op this issue is very small because the lady has not change her mind towards you,you just spent 4 months with her ending the relationship now will indirecty show that you are not strong to fight for what you want,if you really what to marry her pray that her mother's heart will change for good and try as much as possible to show good qualities that will change her mind too.

.....

Real Men don't give up so easily....





Make ur own decision and let it be a Wise one...

Relationships thrives on consent & blessings. Where either of them is lacking, wisdom is profitable at this juncture. Good luck.

the relationship is still young and that's why the love i still shacking you both, just wait till after a year then we will know whats up. if it's love or lust.

irewoleola:
I need you to have it at the back of your mind that no matter how much she loves you, she will never choose you over her mother.

Just let things go. There are other younger and ibo girls everywhere. The right person will surely come. Life is too sweet to be in a struggle relationship

Are u kidding me? Will her mum marry her? Well, my parents kukuma know its useless chooking mouth into my relationship.

I understand d dilemma bro, its not strange, don't ever think you d first infact millions are experiencing similarly all over the world even right as am saying this, so don't be alarmed.

Bro its a simple case, its a case of our multi-diversity and multicultural nation, sure you should expect this to possibly occur(don't make mistake of comparing this to someone in another country eg USA, UK or Australia, might not work its lot of different).

In d light of d above, ur case is simple, don't take it too killing lol, just ease her fears @Mum, this applies to u if u serious o- call her, guess u haven't even spoken to her self, lol our conservative nature though, call ur lady afterwards ask her to give her mum d fone, just try to reach her, that is if u can't get to her physically, all your aim is to ease her fears, get them from her and do justice to them, wish you all the best. Cheers.

Op... I think it has to do with tribal sentiments, I happen to be Igbo but I have lived almost all my.life with the yorubas and they used to nice and friendly but lately there seems to be some kind of resentment towards the igbos by the yorubas especially the elderly ones , I happen to be in their midst often and the kind of things I hear is distasteful. I remember looking for an apartment and couple Yoruba landlords refusing simply because am Igbo

N.B : Though I happen to be dating a Yoruba girl ,and it's certain we are going to get married , but I had to win over her family first especially her mum and older sister , the people she is close to most

Nunushokoto:
My girl and I have been dating for four months and it's been true love all the way. I'm igbo nd she's yoruba and she's 7 months older than i am.. Recently she told her mom about us and her mom's response was that she isn't gonna give us her blessing cos I'm Igbo nd I'm younger. The problem now is that she's been punished cos of it but she still won't give up on us. I don't wanna be the reason why she and her mom won't be on good terms and at d same time, I don't wanna look like I'm giving up on her. I don't know what to do anymore.

Mtcheeew wen dia his vasalin u her hia talked of galfwend mtcheeew

luminouz:
Ur fvcking wrong!!!!!
How do u even know dat
The mum might change or d lady might endure....
If u know joanana on NL...ask from her how she stood n fought for her love....
A girl like u can't dou......culture n tribalism have removed ur sense of identity!!!!

Sir, you used the word Might in your comment. Might is a word under uncertainty and a relationship should not be based on uncertainty.

There is a saying where i am from that "...a bad wife is better than bad inlaws" if the girl's mother doesnt approve the relationship then thats a bad inlaw.

All i am saying is that, a relationship where both parties love one another is the best.

Life is too sweet to be in a struggle relationship.

Ethnicity is also a major factor that influences one's choice of partner and your parents' approval. The way one ethnic group views another ethnic group will determine whether there can be inter-marriage between them. It is always difficult to choose from an ethnic group that has been blacklisted. Such ethnic group comes to one's mind when making relationship decision.

Most time parents are one of the hindrances when it comes to inter-ethnic marriage. Nevertheless, she can win the battle if she can give her parents reasons the relationship with other ethnic group won't harm her and them. Moreover, she needs to enlighten them about some misconceptions they would have had about Ibos.

Lastly, you and your family have a work to do to prove them wrong.

Her parents are only living in fear and she needs to allay their fears. Of a truth, you need her parents' blessing on your marriage.

Nunushokoto:
Hmm..

believe me Sir. On a similar note, a cousin of mine faced such in 2014. It was not even a matter of tribe or age kus the girl is yoruba as well and she is younger but the family didnt just approve.

On the day of introduction...their gate was locked. I was there myself. No be say dem say.

The next day...out of anger, she packed her things from her house to my cousin's house to be living as couple.

About 4 months later....she aborted her 2months pregnancy and left my cousin's house and said she cant fight with her parents.

My cousin is heartbroken and still single....he is now addicted to weed.

If a relationship is not working, then its not God's plan so dont force it please.

pabostt:
Ethnicity is also a major factor that influences one's choice of partner and your parents' approval. The way one ethnic group views another ethnic group will determine whether there can be inter-marriage between them. It is always difficult to choose from an ethnic group that has been blacklisted. Such ethnic group comes to one's mind when making relationship decision.

Most time parents are one of the hindrances when it comes to inter-ethnic marriage. Nevertheless, she can win the battle if she can give her parents reasons the relationship with other ethnic group won't harm her and them. Moreover, she needs to enlighten them about some misconceptions they would have had about Ibos.

Lastly, you and your family have a work to do to prove them wrong.

Her parents are only living in fear and she needs to allay their fears. Of a truth, you need her parents' blessing on your marriage.

You may be interested in this articlehttp://www.treatrelationships.com.ng/2017/05/how-your-choice-affects-quality-of-your-relationship.html

luminouz:
Ur fvcking wrong!!!!!
How do u even know dat
The mum might change or d lady might endure....
If u know joanana on NL...ask from her how she stood n fought for her love....
A girl like u can't dou......culture n tribalism have removed ur sense of identity!!!!

Oga long time.... It was not by my power alone oooo, Baba God was involve ni.

Op if you love your girl and she loves you as much as you love her, that's all that matters. Yes, she refused mine at first but I persisted and told her this is my one true love, and if my man proposed to me, that's final. She will live with you and not with her mother but try and convinced her that you sincerely love her daughter. Don't just say it, show it. Let her see it!!!

You need her to accept you so that your traditional marriage process will be easy for u, else

irewoleola:
believe me Sir. On a similar note, a cousin of mine faced such in 2014. It was not even a matter of tribe or age kus the girl is yoruba as well and she is younger but the family didnt just approve.

On the day of introduction...their gate was locked. I was there myself. No be say dem say.

The next day...out of anger, she packed her things from her house to my cousin's house to be living as couple.

About 4 months later....she aborted her 2months pregnancy and left my cousin's house and said she cant fight with her parents.

My cousin is heartbroken and still single....he is now addicted to weed.

If a relationship is not working, then its not God's plan so dont force it please.

Are you sure your cousin wasn't taking his weed before his girlfriend left him?
She probably lived with him and realised he wouldn't make a good husband at the end of the day and saw why her family had their reservations.

try to distance yourself from her...with time she will cope without you..your relationship is too young for dramas

eyinjuege:
Are you sure your cousin wasn't taking his weed before his girlfriend left him?
She probably lived with him and realised he wouldn't make a good husband at the end of the day and saw why her family had their reservations.

thats exactly my point. She probably didnt see what her parents saw. So at the end she was back to the point where her parents wanted her to be in the first place.

about the weed, that i am sure of. He never smoked up until that time. He is even a light drinker self...he only drinks occassionally

joanana:
Oga long time.... It was not by my power alone oooo, Baba God was involve ni.

Op if you love your girl and she loves you as much as you love her, that's all that matters. Yes, she refused mine at first but I persisted and told her this is my one true love, and if my man proposed to me, that's final. She will live with you and not with her mother but try and convinced her that you sincerely love her daughter. Don't just say it, show it. Let her see it!!!

You need her to accept you so that your traditional marriage process will be easy for u, else

Joanana in d building!!! Awayu!
Hope ur sha fine!!!!!!
Abi o! Had to tell OP about U! If there is true love,I believe they will pull it off!!
Greet husby for me o!

Ethnicity is a huge problem in a society such as ours. If you don't mind I'll like to know your exact age or a range
because it has a lot to do with you decision.

Have u tried talking with her mom.... If u haven't, y dnt u gve it a try and knw d next step 2 take...