₦airaland Forum

Good men meeting bad women, and bad women meeting good men; irony of life!

lisbonabdulahi:
because we live in Finland

Hmmm.. This is not good. She knows you can't divorce her as easily over there as you would down here. Now I get why you are scared of messing up and thrown out of the house. Tread carefully. Your wife seems smart. Ask her,beg her even, to go for counseling. If she still refuses,then it's time to up your game. Get a lawyer secretly who will advise you on how to get custody of your kids and assets. Go underground and get tangible proof that she is abusive to you and the kids,even if you have to put a secret camera at home. You could also look for witnesses to testify against her. All these should be done in secret. When you are ready,hit her with the divorce papers and walk away a happy man.


N.B: All these will work if you even have a tangible means of income. I hope she is not the sole breadwinner, if not you don enter one chance. OYO be your case.

fluxbush:
Hmmm.. This is not good. She knows you can't divorce her as easily over there as you would down here. Now I get why you are scared of messing up and thrown out of the house. Tread carefully. Your wife seems smart. Ask her,beg her even, to go for counseling. If she still refuses,then it's time to up your game. Get a lawyer secretly who will advise you on how to get custody of your kids and assets. Go underground and get tangible proof that she is abusive to you and the kids,even if you have to put a secret camera at home. You could also look for witnesses to testify against her. All these should be done in secret. When you are ready,hit her with the divorce papers and walk away a happy man.


N.B: All these will work if you even have a tangible means of income. I hope she is not the sole breadwinner, if not you don enter one chance. OYO be your case.

u want him to divorce yet neva want him to beat her

For me you should break up with her, even if not completely let her go but give her the space she wants trust me she will come to her senses, just hope it won't be too late for her..

Buy a diary and every day write down one thing about your wife that you love. Anything ranging from how she screamed when a bird flew past her head to how she dressed or looked that day. Just one thing even if she got you mad that day.. Do this for 6 month's and you ll see a big difference in her attitude to you. Works like a charm

addictiv:
Buy a diary and every day write down one thing about your wife that you love. Anything ranging from how she screamed when a bird flew past her head to how she dressed or looked that day. Just one thing even if she got you mad that day.. Do this for 6 month's and you ll see a big difference in her attitude to you. Works like a charm

Are you a comedian?? You think this is a joke??

lalanice:
I've read a similar story before, makes me feel this story is made up.

You can dwarf any girl with that your height

jakandeola:
u want him to divorce yet neva want him to beat her

How many times will I tell you to stop sliding into my mentions? What is your problem? Shebi I ve told you to beat your woman as you want. Why this persistent wahala from you? Did I offend you in a past life?

Eaugusta:
Good men meeting bad women, and bad women meeting good men; irony of life!

Hmmmm. truly true

@Op, sorry for this situation. If all is true as you narrated.

But sadly many people out there face the same.

Your wife has several issues. She needed therapy years back. Before the kids came.
Stress of raising kids has only made it worse.

That she cannot maintain cordial relationships: her siblings, mum, hubby points to a type (cluster) of personality disorder.
Then she's not considerate or remorseful.

She cannot change on her own. But you will really struggle to convince her to get professional help. Since the kids have not mellowed her, nothing will.
Because at this stage she should focusing on you both raising your young kids in a positive & harmonious environment.

Possible way forward:
Make up your mind on what to do.
Then talk to your family & her birth family.
Arrange a meeting of both families.

Make it clear that the marriage is not working & it has become a toxic environment to raise kids.

Demand that she seeks help to sort herself out.

In the meantime you will want her to be away from the family.

If things improve, you both can come back together. Otherwise you cannot continue because something sinister could happen.

Ensure you have made arrangements for child care beforehand.

Being on her own suddenly could jolt her to seek help to change. Or worsen her situation. But she would be out of your home by then.

Lemme comman b goin na so I advice wan my frnd not to b monitoring ha husband cos she dey cry say him dey carry woman now d guy dey vex for me cos dem don use me settle for bed bt OP sure say u innocent?

lisbonabdulahi:
Hello Nairalanders, please I need you advice before I finally end this marriage.
I know I was at fault at the beginning for not stamping my authority , I showed her so much love, because she is a product of a broken home, I wanted her to know there is much more to life, now she has turned my love to foolishness, I do not want my kids to grow up without a father. That is why I have been very patient, but now … please read on.

I have been married for 11 years, with 4 kids. The truth is that we have never had really peace in the home for these years, everything is trouble, from the way I talk, eat, dress, use the toilet and sleep, just name them. The situation has been bad from the beginning, but the last three years has been hell for me and the kids, my wife shouts and complain over everything, she cannot go one full day with Joy, there is always one thing that annoys her, she has to be right on all issues, The very sad part is that whenever she does anything wrong and I ask her, there will be trouble, she will refuse to speak with me for as long as she like. We can go for weeks without really speaking with each other she enjoys it, she does not just bother at all. Each time these things happen, I am always the one that try to initiate peace.

I will like to give only one example to summarise everything going on in my home: two years ago, she will just leave the home without telling me, I called her and told her it is not right, she replied me promptly that it is her life, I can’t control her, and it is my life as well, I should do whatever I like with it. well I thought it was anger, however, I never mind, anytime I want to leave, I make sure I tell her till one day she called me and tell me that even if I keep informing her about my movements, that she is not going to change, she is not under any obligation to tell me where she is going to. My people, for two years counting now, that is how we have been doing it, we just leave without telling each other. BUT OCCASSIONALLY FOR SOME REASONS I DON’T KNOW, SHE WILL JUST TELL ME SHE IS GOING OUT TO XYZ.

She always insults me and even the kids, for any mistake they make and she never fails to tell them that they did not inherit their bad character from her, that they inherited their character from me, she says this consistently even when I am there. There is no insult she has not poured on me, I have had to explain to her mother severally but the woman is simply helpless, her mother is dead scared of her. She exhibited some of these characters during our two years of courtship, but her mother and some brethren advised that she will change after marriage. She is always complaining of being tired, meanwhile, I do the dishes, do the vacuuming (sweeping), cleaning and other domestic duties, even when she cooks, I have to cut the ingredients and all that, in short she rarely cooks. We sleep in different rooms for 4 years counting now, occasionally I try to go to her room to initiate sex, but 99% of cases she chase me away, sometime she locks her door. She stopped me from sleeping in same room with her, when I asked why, shy did not say anything but after 4 months she said it was because I was snoring at night. Trust me anytime I am opportune to make love to her I make sure she climaxes…

It is so bad that even her sisters sometimes rebuke her in my presence, presently, she is not in talking terms with any of her siblings, and this has been on for the past three years. I am stuck with this lady, her mother cannot talk to her, no family member she respects. She is a loner.
To the extent that she makes friends and they always break up, she has no real close friends, even if they are close, trust me, before 6 months the relationship has gone sour.

u saw all this and you still wear eye glass close go marry her.. Oga carry your cross or walk away.. There just something I can't take God in heaven knows..

obataokenwa:
I wonder how our mothers were able to cope and loved till old age. Satan is really out to destroy marriages. I remember one experience as shared... This man was sitting behind a man on a ten hours flight and consistently this man was praying till they dropped... this other man asked the man praying why was he talking continuously nonstop?... the man answered "I'm a satanist and our master has commanded that we must destroy marriages and cause confusion in relationships and homes, so we are all praying to make it come to pass" ...How many Christians are praying like that to avert this happenings all over. Churches has focused more on tithe and giving and no more morals and spirituality preached. Pastors most times even sleep with members and the same spirit is passed to members and fornication becomes the order of the day in most churches. It's unfortunate how things has degenerated.

You didn't apportion blame to any Imam,this is unfair Bros

The woman is going through what's called,
"Mid life crisis"

OP, how old are you?

You married a woman who have virtually abandoned her matrimonial duties at home to you as a husband,no problem...ask yourself what to do when a partner simply refused to keep to her terms of contract ..will the contract still holds or not ? Better do away with a useless woman & go ahead to carry your cross. There are things that life force on people to learn in a hard way.. No matter the situation you have only good decision to make ..Must you keep on living an unhappy life when you know there is a better life ? My friend,wake up & move forward in life.. Never allow any woman or man to keep you unhappy in life.

lalanice:
I know very much that men are emotionally abused, I even have a crazy neighbour here that is trying to ruin her husbands life. but this story just seems like a repeated story with more juice

The way my cousin emotionally abuses the husband is something I personally do not understand till date. Theirs is similar to this guys own.

Omg! How did you do it? Chai! I won't even pretend here. If I were you, I will have lawyers serve her divorce papers. If that doesn't make her wanna change/talk....then sceew it! Why on earth would anyone deliberately make life hellish for others? It is well o.

what a pity. where do you ppl stay I mean rented apartment or personal house. who pays d rent or who built d house. n who is d bread winner in d house. above questions r to help me advice you tanx

fluxbush:
Hmmm.. This is not good. She knows you can't divorce her as easily over there as you would down here. Now I get why you are scared of messing up and thrown out of the house. Tread carefully. Your wife seems smart. Ask her,beg her even, to go for counseling. If she still refuses,then it's time to up your game. Get a lawyer secretly who will advise you on how to get custody of your kids and assets. Go underground and get tangible proof that she is abusive to you and the kids,even if you have to put a secret camera at home. You could also look for witnesses to testify against her. All these should be done in secret. When you are ready,hit her with the divorce papers and walk away a happy man.


N.B: All these will work if you even have a tangible means of income. I hope she is not the sole breadwinner, if not you don enter one chance. OYO be your case.

I agree! I wonder why some women take undue advantage of the protection given women in western societies to maltreat their spouses. This guy need not spend more years in this unhappy situation, happiness is all ours to take.

Of course you are innocent of all blame. So you haven't been able to identify ONE thing you have done to hurt her? No problem. If what you say is true, try and talk to her without the macho, i'm the man of the house style to find out whats bugging her. Specifically ask for what you have done wrong. If that fails, divorce her ass. You 've only got one life. Stop making urself and your kids miserable.

Bros your a dead man walking n your hear asking questions. You want to wait until she poison the kids before you know? Where will you start from? It's time you move out with your kids to where she cannot locate you

Try this, for like a few months act exactly the way she is been acting to you to her, this will make her see how it feels

lisbonabdulahi:
Hello Nairalanders, please I need you advice before I finally end this marriage.
I know I was at fault at the beginning for not stamping my authority , I showed her so much love, because she is a product of a broken home, I wanted her to know there is much more to life, now she has turned my love to foolishness, I do not want my kids to grow up without a father. That is why I have been very patient, but now … please read on.

I have been married for 11 years, with 4 kids. The truth is that we have never had really peace in the home for these years, everything is trouble, from the way I talk, eat, dress, use the toilet and sleep, just name them. The situation has been bad from the beginning, but the last three years has been hell for me and the kids, my wife shouts and complain over everything, she cannot go one full day with Joy, there is always one thing that annoys her, she has to be right on all issues, The very sad part is that whenever she does anything wrong and I ask her, there will be trouble, she will refuse to speak with me for as long as she like. We can go for weeks without really speaking with each other she enjoys it, she does not just bother at all. Each time these things happen, I am always the one that try to initiate peace.

I will like to give only one example to summarise everything going on in my home: two years ago, she will just leave the home without telling me, I called her and told her it is not right, she replied me promptly that it is her life, I can’t control her, and it is my life as well, I should do whatever I like with it. well I thought it was anger, however, I never mind, anytime I want to leave, I make sure I tell her till one day she called me and tell me that even if I keep informing her about my movements, that she is not going to change, she is not under any obligation to tell me where she is going to. My people, for two years counting now, that is how we have been doing it, we just leave without telling each other. BUT OCCASSIONALLY FOR SOME REASONS I DON’T KNOW, SHE WILL JUST TELL ME SHE IS GOING OUT TO XYZ.

She always insults me and even the kids, for any mistake they make and she never fails to tell them that they did not inherit their bad character from her, that they inherited their character from me, she says this consistently even when I am there. There is no insult she has not poured on me, I have had to explain to her mother severally but the woman is simply helpless, her mother is dead scared of her. She exhibited some of these characters during our two years of courtship, but her mother and some brethren advised that she will change after marriage. She is always complaining of being tired, meanwhile, I do the dishes, do the vacuuming (sweeping), cleaning and other domestic duties, even when she cooks, I have to cut the ingredients and all that, in short she rarely cooks. We sleep in different rooms for 4 years counting now, occasionally I try to go to her room to initiate sex, but 99% of cases she chase me away, sometime she locks her door. She stopped me from sleeping in same room with her, when I asked why, shy did not say anything but after 4 months she said it was because I was snoring at night. Trust me anytime I am opportune to make love to her I make sure she climaxes…

It is so bad that even her sisters sometimes rebuke her in my presence, presently, she is not in talking terms with any of her siblings, and this has been on for the past three years. I am stuck with this lady, her mother cannot talk to her, no family member she respects. She is a loner.
To the extent that she makes friends and they always break up, she has no real close friends, even if they are close, trust me, before 6 months the relationship has gone sour.

mukhcech:
Matured thread with matured comments so far. The Good old days of Nairaland.

Those posters don't come to reasonable threads like this to give positive responses

wow.......You guys has hit the nail by the head ,meanwhile,you should be very prayerful it is really a passing phase, god will see u through it......All d best.

First, She is cheating on you. Second, sue her for denying you sex and being crul to your children before she sues you first if not you will lose them. After that then bring in woman ie your girl friend into your house or arrange and pay a babe tell her the story and ask her to beat her up very well for being crul to you and ur children if she interupt your pleasure moment with her in your home. If she did not repent then serve her the divorce suit. The married is over as for her. Be wise bro .

Chief, consider the opportunity cost before you do anything. But even if you wouldn't break up with her, you have to take a bold step that will put her in check and put her ego down.

Except if there's something terrible you did to her in the past, you dont deserve this kind of heartlessness.

I mentioned opportunity cost earlier. Can you handle for kids? Or do you want to leave the kids with such woman? If you do, in two years time, those kids will never want to hear your name again. She'll poison their minds, and for the rest of your life, you'll be struggling to re-establish connection with your kids to no avail.

However, you have to put her in her place by doing either of the three things:

1. LOCK HER OUT: During one of the holiday seasons, take your kids away from town, lock your doors (Make sure she has no access) and never answer her calls until after two weeks. Deprive her of what she's taken for granted and see if she'll be humble.

2. Send a letter of notification for divorce to any of her living family. Clearly state how long you've endured in silence and why you cannot endure a day more.

3. Show her so much love, make provisions for her and sit her down when she's happy and tell her if she want a divorce. See her reaction and if she says YES, be the first to send the letter of notification for divorce to both of your families and make sure you USE SCARCITY TO CREATE EFFECT. Do not answer anyone's call for at least 4 days. Let the heat be on her for those days and let her lie and set credibility trap for herself. By the time you speak up to whomever, all her lies and line of defense will crumble and you'll make her humble.

4. Stop bothering her. Leave her alone. Watch her do all her craze and don't be moved. I dont this is not easy, but it is very effective. When you ignore a busy body, they want to kill themselves. It is your attention and apt concerns that has embolden het thus far. Before you start ignoring her, call her and tell her "FROM THIS MOMENT, YOU CAN DO EVERYTHING YOU WANT. GO EVERYWHERE YOU WANT AND YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN". After few days of successfully ignoring her, you'll start noticing a rather remorse face.

Other people can add to this list, it is inexhaustible.

But I wish you luck.

At your spare time,
Follow: Hearticleoflove..com

..............love is a beautiful thing.

Your wife is lonely and depressed and she is angry her loved ones can't notice she is sad and unhappy.... She is not taking you for granted. You need to get closer to her by all means now. These are usually stages before suicide.

Correct this is a good one.

PatriotTemidayo:
Chief, consider the opportunity cost before you do anything. But even if you wouldn't break up with her, you have to take a bold step that will put her in check and put her ego down.

Except if there's something terrible you did to her in the past, you dont deserve this kind of heartlessness.

I mentioned opportunity cost earlier. Can you handle for kids? Or do you want to leave the kids with such woman? If you do, in two years time, those kids will never want to hear your name again. She'll poison their minds, and for the rest of your life, you'll be struggling to re-establish connection with your kids to no avail.

However, you have to put her in her place by doing either of the three things:

1. LOCK HER OUT: During one of the holiday seasons, take your kids away from town, lock your doors (Make sure she has no access) and never answer her calls until after two weeks. Deprive her of what she's taken for granted and see if she'll be humble.

2. Send a letter of notification for divorce to any of her living family. Clearly state how long you've endured in silence and why you cannot endure a day more.

3. Show her so much love, make provisions for her and sit her down when she's happy and tell her if she want a divorce. See her reaction and if she says YES, be the first to send the letter of notification for divorce to both of your families and make sure you USE SCARCITY TO CREATE EFFECT. Do not answer anyone's call for at least 4 days. Let the heat be on her for those days and let her lie and set credibility trap for herself. By the time you speak up to whomever, all her lies and line of defense will crumble and you'll make her humble.

4. Stop bothering her. Leave her alone. Watch her do all her craze and don't be moved. I dont this is not easy, but it is very effective. When you ignore a busy body, they want to kill themselves. It is your attention and apt concerns that has embolden het thus far. Before you start ignoring her, call her and tell her "FROM THIS MOMENT, YOU CAN DO EVERYTHING YOU WANT. GO EVERYWHERE YOU WANT AND YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN". After few days of successfully ignoring her, you'll start noticing a rather remorse face.

Other people can add to this list, it is inexhaustible.

But I wish you luck.

At your spare time,
Follow: Hearticleoflove..com

..............love is a beautiful thing.

Must you remain married to this woman?

lisbonabdulahi:
Hello Nairalanders, please I need you advice before I finally end this marriage.
I know I was at fault at the beginning for not stamping my authority , I showed her so much love, because she is a product of a broken home, I wanted her to know there is much more to life, now she has turned my love to foolishness, I do not want my kids to grow up without a father. That is why I have been very patient, but now … please read on. UI

I have been married for 11 years, with 4 kids. The truth is that we have never had really peace in the home for these years, everything is trouble, from the way I talk, eat, dress, use the toilet and sleep, just name them. The situation has been bad from the beginning, but the last three years has been hell for me and the kids, my wife shouts and complain over everything, she cannot go one full day with Joy, there is always one thing that annoys her, she has to be right on all issues, The very sad part is that whenever she does anything wrong and I ask her, there will be trouble, she will refuse to speak with me for as long as she like. We can go for weeks without really speaking with each other she enjoys it, she does not just bother at all. Each time these things happen, I am always the one that try to initiate peace.

I will like to give only one example to summarise everything going on in my home: two years ago, she will just leave the home without telling me, I called her and told her it is not right, she replied me promptly that it is her life, I can’t control her, and it is my life as well, I should do whatever I like with it. well I thought it was anger, however, I never mind, anytime I want to leave, I make sure I tell her till one day she called me and tell me that even if I keep informing her about my movements, that she is not going to change, she is not under any obligation to tell me where she is going to. My people, for two years counting now, that is how we have been doing it, we just leave without telling each other. BUT OCCASSIONALLY FOR SOME REASONS I DON’T KNOW, SHE WILL JUST TELL ME SHE IS GOING OUT TO XYZ.

She always insults me and even the kids, for any mistake they make and she never fails to tell them that they did not inherit their bad character from her, that they inherited their character from me, she says this consistently even when I am there. There is no insult she has not poured on me, I have had to explain to her mother severally but the woman is simply helpless, her mother is dead scared of her. She exhibited some of these characters during our two years of courtship, but her mother and some brethren advised that she will change after marriage. She is always complaining of being tired, meanwhile, I do the dishes, do the vacuuming (sweeping), cleaning and other domestic duties, even when she cooks, I have to cut the ingredients and all that, in short she rarely cooks. We sleep in different rooms for 4 years counting now, occasionally I try to go to her room to initiate sex, but 99% of cases she chase me away, sometime she locks her door. She stopped me from sleeping in same room with her, when I asked why, shy did not say anything but after 4 months she said it was because I was snoring at night. Trust me anytime I am opportune to make love to her I make sure she climaxes…

It is so bad that even her sisters sometimes rebuke her in my presence, presently, she is not in talking terms with any of her siblings, and this has been on for the past three years. I am stuck with this lady, her mother cannot talk to her, no family member she respects. She is a loner.
To the extent that she makes friends and they always break up, she has no real close friends, even if they are close, trust me, before 6 months the relationship has gone sour.

Your wife is lonely and depressed and she is angry her loved ones can't notice she is sad and unhappy.... She is not taking you for granted. You need to get closer to her by all means now. These are usually stages before suicide.

Most times when she is alone in that room she is crying .

toksbisola:
@OP; hmmm how sad. IMHO, you’re a bit too soft; (no offence) toughen up a bit as your wife have wrapped you round her little finger (she has seen you finish; as in no respect what so ever). Aside that, there’re two important things you need to know when dealing with women viz;

1) Never ever let a woman know/sense that you love her more than she loves you. If you do you’re game. Your wife knows that, hence a possible reason for her mis-behaviour.
2) Never ever let a woman know what your weak point is as a man. If she knows it, you’re game. Your wife knows that you can’t do without her, hence another possible reason for her mis-behaviour.

The thing that upset me the most is that you saw this entire attitude in her during your 2 year courtship and you still went ahead and married her, thinking she would change right? WRONG MOVE. I suspect your wife is pretty or earns more than you which could be other reasons you couldn’t let her go; aside the fact of her nasty attitude and the other things you mentioned.

What baffled me the most was why you and your wife decided to bring 4 innocent children into a toxic environment. Another surprising thing is the fact that your wife was this nasty and you had the 1st child, then her nastiness continued; you had the 2nd child, then it got even worst; you had the 3rd child and the nastiness graduated and you subsequently had the 4th child. What on earth was going on why you couldn’t sort out the chaotic situation currently existing in the home front before you started popping out babies like they were going out of fashion? (I’m not judging you) I’m just bemused.

From another angle, you have painted your wife as a monster (excuse my language) but painted yourself as an innocent person which I find hard to believe. If your wife were to come here and say her part of the story, it mostly likely would be slightly different from your version as there are always 3 sides to a story; your side, their side and the truth.

Just to digress, a husband came here to describe the wife as a nasty piece of work and kept his side of the story squeaky clean until his wife found out about the thread and came here to say her side of the story. Needless to say, the people who were calling her a bad wife when they heard the husbands' side of the story shifted the blame to her husband when they heard the wifes' side of the story and instead started calling him the bad one as the wife mentioned terrible things the husband had done to her which the husband left out when he narrated his own side of the story. HOPE YOU GET WHERE I AM GOING.

Moving forward, there is only one question you need to ask your wife and the answer to that question would determine what to do next. Ask your wife DOES SHE STIIL WANT THIS MARRIAGE? If she answers YES you know what to do but if she says NO you know what to do. No one can tell you whether to leave or stay; that’s your call entirely as only you wear the shoes and only you know where it pinches the most.

You and your wife have set a very bad precedent for your kids. That said, one piece of advice I’ll give you about the kids is this; as they grow older and get into the dating game, endeavour (just a suggestion) to use the example of you and their mum to teach them that when they see things they are not happy with during courtship, it should be addressed immediately. If the person with the problematic attitude isn’t willing to change then they should run faster than Usain Bolt as what you know you can’t take during courtship, would only get worse (if not corrected) after marriage.


Lesson learnt to all others who are courting and hoping the relationship would lead to marraige

1) Never ever marry anyone out of pity simply because you have been with them for a long time and you don’t want them to lose out.

2) Marry for true love so that when the challenges start occurring in the marital bond, (and best believe challenges would arise) the love both of you have built up would be able to withstand the ups and downs that would occur; take note that MARRIAGE IS NOT A BED OF ROSES.


I rest my case

Best advice ever! U sound so mature, are u a relationship therapist/counselor? U married? U will make a wonderful wife.

4 things can be responsible for this: 1. The woman does not love the man but only married him after being disappointed elsewhere, to avoid being stranded. 2. She is seeing somebody else. 3. You are not able to provide adequately for the family. 4. The demon that broke her parents marriage are at work.

lisbonabdulahi:
Hello Nairalanders, please I need you advice before I finally end this marriage.
I know I was at fault at the beginning for not stamping my authority , I showed her so much love, because she is a product of a broken home, I wanted her to know there is much more to life, now she has turned my love to foolishness, I do not want my kids to grow up without a father. That is why I have been very patient, but now … please read on.

I have been married for 11 years, with 4 kids. The truth is that we have never had really peace in the home for these years, everything is trouble, from the way I talk, eat, dress, use the toilet and sleep, just name them. The situation has been bad from the beginning, but the last three years has been hell for me and the kids, my wife shouts and complain over everything, she cannot go one full day with Joy, there is always one thing that annoys her, she has to be right on all issues, The very sad part is that whenever she does anything wrong and I ask her, there will be trouble, she will refuse to speak with me for as long as she like. We can go for weeks without really speaking with each other she enjoys it, she does not just bother at all. Each time these things happen, I am always the one that try to initiate peace.

I will like to give only one example to summarise everything going on in my home: two years ago, she will just leave the home without telling me, I called her and told her it is not right, she replied me promptly that it is her life, I can’t control her, and it is my life as well, I should do whatever I like with it. well I thought it was anger, however, I never mind, anytime I want to leave, I make sure I tell her till one day she called me and tell me that even if I keep informing her about my movements, that she is not going to change, she is not under any obligation to tell me where she is going to. My people, for two years counting now, that is how we have been doing it, we just leave without telling each other. BUT OCCASSIONALLY FOR SOME REASONS I DON’T KNOW, SHE WILL JUST TELL ME SHE IS GOING OUT TO XYZ.

She always insults me and even the kids, for any mistake they make and she never fails to tell them that they did not inherit their bad character from her, that they inherited their character from me, she says this consistently even when I am there. There is no insult she has not poured on me, I have had to explain to her mother severally but the woman is simply helpless, her mother is dead scared of her. She exhibited some of these characters during our two years of courtship, but her mother and some brethren advised that she will change after marriage. She is always complaining of being tired, meanwhile, I do the dishes, do the vacuuming (sweeping), cleaning and other domestic duties, even when she cooks, I have to cut the ingredients and all that, in short she rarely cooks. We sleep in different rooms for 4 years counting now, occasionally I try to go to her room to initiate sex, but 99% of cases she chase me away, sometime she locks her door. She stopped me from sleeping in same room with her, when I asked why, shy did not say anything but after 4 months she said it was because I was snoring at night. Trust me anytime I am opportune to make love to her I make sure she climaxes…

It is so bad that even her sisters sometimes rebuke her in my presence, presently, she is not in talking terms with any of her siblings, and this has been on for the past three years. I am stuck with this lady, her mother cannot talk to her, no family member she respects. She is a loner.
To the extent that she makes friends and they always break up, she has no real close friends, even if they are close, trust me, before 6 months the relationship has gone sour.