₦airaland Forum

Hernyolar:
Good day familylanders.
I come here to air my current dilemma and ask for a way out.
I'm married with a kid, got separated with my husband last year Jan due to some little issues that weren't managed properly and got escalated..
We stayed in touch for A year cos of child welfare and the rest. He obviously had a relationship with another lady in his base, while I remain single
Sometimes this year, we started talking about reconciliation and the talks went well, we've seen our mistakes and accepted to work on the marriage.
He confessed to me he had a relationship with a lady but he told he was married with a child and he wasn't going to divorce his wife neither marry her (the lady) so twas a deal sort of and he has broken up with her ( which she confirmed)

He's come to see me in my place and I got posted for an official assignment to his state..He told me the girl has refused to leave even after he told her he has reconciled with his wife and the rest.

I got in yesterday and all hell was let loose, the lady was so violent and was saying all manner of trash,threatening fire and hailstone..
I simply asked her, do you know he was married? Did he tell you we were divorced?? Did you see my things in the house? She answered "yes". She said she has no place to go..I was even willing to give her something to take care of herself but she said " no", she wanted my husband and I should start realising she will become a second wife..

My husband in all this have been calling people to talk to her and go without violence..She's called my in-laws to curse(dunno how she got their numbers)... calling friends to tell them she isn't moving out of the house

It's really messy here and I don't want to create a scene..someone advised me I should involve the Civil defence authority.

I really dunno what to do

Please advise me

Royalroy

Ode! Go to the police.

Lol....your 'co-wife' posted on Joro's blog and this is not the story she told us o. She said you are the one causing a scene and trying to interfere in her relationship.

MrsDot:
whao!!! This sounding like my story except for the working part and mine was just for 6months.... Firstly, I know some women will tell U to leave Ur hubby blah blah blah but I will say no!!! U gat to fight this.... Secondly, do U love Ur hubby? I don't know wat led to Ur seperation but I bet after U saw the woman U felt badly hurt and want to get Ur home back.... Which is the way to go....... But how U do that is in U nd Ur hubby's hands if he wants U back and remorseful over the turn of event then be rest assured that lady is a goner..... Just like dis word of wisdom that was said to me during my ish with hubby (pardon me Pls, I don't know Ur story) it says "if U don't take care of Ur home or hubby a thousand women are waiting for d vacancy sign"..... Seek wisdom sister, seek wisdom!!! And I pray that whatever storm that is fighting Ur home shall meet the prince of peace and the God of restoration shall make Ur home his abode....

That's a very good advice from a good sister, but there's this saying that where someone dance and make money another man's own is flogging. You might have applied that method and it worked for you but what if she followed your advice and the lady ended up pouring her acid? will you be there to help her out? I think the advice most of the people gave her is the best idea so far, let her stay away from the lady for the main time because such people could be dangerous, she may end up using something on her while she is fast asleep.

This story mirrors my life presently. Only difference is that I'm the husband.



Not that I'm heartless or I donr feel sorry for the new lady but the whole situation is just sad atm

sorry ooo
to be in her good book,
start organizing there wedding

gabinogem:
Ask your husband if she has relatives you guys can report her to & pls report the matter first to the police before it turns to something brutal. Cuz such lady can go to extreme length to harm u.

Hernyolar

Exactly. Report to the police or her relatives. If you dont she can go violent and your story could be a "woman bites off another womans ear in fight" or you could lose your life. If it happens the other way around. She could claim victim and you cant say self defence. If the other doesnt work. You have to go dirty. This country is corrupt. You might have to bribe the police to send her away. Or get some hefty looking men to threaten her

Hernyolar:
Thank you family for the good and kind advice tonight, I'm sincerely appreciative.

We've resolved the issues and we got the law involved, she has come pack all her things tonight, we came back to see she has packed.

It seems ur hubby easily get tired with the ladies! He got tired and called you in to do the job. U just feel sorry 4 the lady.

cappinjerry:
My sister I am a man and im currently in exactly the same situation. but the difference is im the man. If your husband does not chase her out, my sister there is nothing you can do because your husband can chase her out with a wave of the hand.

Your husband brought in another man?

Married men chase out wives not to talk of girlfriends that needs to go, your husband needs to step up his game if he is serious, hope he isn't acting out in your presence and giving the girl gas behind you.. Distance yourself from the drama if he's really serious wanting you back he should sort himself out.

oodua1stson:
This story mirrors my life presently. Only difference is that I'm the husband.

Not that I'm heartless or I donr feel sorry for the new lady but the whole situation is just sad atm

You too? Your husband brought in someone else?

Could not have said it better

alexialin:
Madam, the strange woman is yur husband's mess to clean up
When he wooed her, deceived her that's he's divorced and assured her, he won't reconcile with u again and promised her marriage. You were not there.

After your husband has increased her body count, suck all her juice finish, made her work like an house help in his home and I bet she might even have aborted for him, na now he knows he's married and wants to bring in back his estranged wife.

He's a joker. He's not serious. He had better man up and fulfill all his promises to the strange woman. He should be the one to make her leave, not you
That's how such men get killed mysteriously. They will begin blame devil.

You werent there when they started their lovey lovey
Madam, sorry u don't have husband o.. All u have is a man thats free for all.. Smhhh.

For your safety and peace of mind. Just jejely leave that house and stay somewhere safe, before stories thats unbearable enters.

Married men and their deceits sha

Any single lady who believes them, hook line sinker?

I pity such ladies.
Just be battle ready sha.

But if u know as a single lady. U love to fight till death do y'all part? Then by all means, pls date a married man.

Your husband only came back for you because the one wey dey house go de beat am steady. Don't let him put you inside this mess o. Let them beat themselves tired. Or when you both fight, he may go back to her. Give them space to finish themselves once and for all.

A house that has no door gives room for lunatic to enter. The woman in question is an half killed snake that could be dangerous, you had approach the issue wrongly, you are not supposed to appeared in the scene at all, you are to be doing fasting and prayer rigorously till when your husband clean ur premises b4 moving in. What of your family? let them thrash the issue with ur husband, the few period has sweet that strange woman now, pls take cover.

Omo, some of the things some naija women go through sha.

ifyalways:
Let's hope your hubby does not just want you to get rid of the girl because the thing Don hook him

Anyway, I think you should leave that house. She's your husband responsibility and problem, he should solve it without involving you.

The guy just love to blip two don't no how to say it be wish girl he brought her and can send her away light that

davidif:
Omo, some of the things some naija women go through sha.

It's For those that want to.

I don't see why I'll go back to a man who brought someone else into our home knowing very well that he won't do same if the situation was reversed. Separated or not, they were still married

.Men And Pretence When It Comes To Matter Like This Is Like 5 And 6 The Man In Question Will Ever Be Happy Seeing Two Adult Throwing Words All Because Of Him .Leave The Man And Go Ur Way He Has Realize Ur Content.

Hernyolar:
Good day familylanders.
I come here to air my current dilemma and ask for a way out.
I'm married with a kid, got separated with my husband last year Jan due to some little issues that weren't managed properly and got escalated..
We stayed in touch for A year cos of child welfare and the rest. He obviously had a relationship with another lady in his base, while I remain single
Sometimes this year, we started talking about reconciliation and the talks went well, we've seen our mistakes and accepted to work on the marriage.
He confessed to me he had a relationship with a lady but he told he was married with a child and he wasn't going to divorce his wife neither marry her (the lady) so twas a deal sort of and he has broken up with her ( which she confirmed)

He's come to see me in my place and I got posted for an official assignment to his state..He told me the girl has refused to leave even after he told her he has reconciled with his wife and the rest.

I got in yesterday and all hell was let loose, the lady was so violent and was saying all manner of trash,threatening fire and hailstone..
I simply asked her, do you know he was married? Did he tell you we were divorced?? Did you see my things in the house? She answered "yes". She said she has no place to go..I was even willing to give her something to take care of herself but she said " no", she wanted my husband and I should start realising she will become a second wife..

My husband in all this have been calling people to talk to her and go without violence..She's called my in-laws to curse(dunno how she got their numbers)... calling friends to tell them she isn't moving out of the house

It's really messy here and I don't want to create a scene..someone advised me I should involve the Civil defence authority.

I really dunno what to do

Please advise me

Royalroy

Pls Op, I know of someone in this similar problem as yours, the lady did worst than expected for my sister last year. What is the name of that strange lady in question ?

Hernyolar:
Good day familylanders.
I come here to air my current dilemma and ask for a way out.
I'm married with a kid, got separated with my husband last year Jan due to some little issues that weren't managed properly and got escalated..
We stayed in touch for A year cos of child welfare and the rest. He obviously had a relationship with another lady in his base, while I remain single
Sometimes this year, we started talking about reconciliation and the talks went well, we've seen our mistakes and accepted to work on the marriage.
He confessed to me he had a relationship with a lady but he told he was married with a child and he wasn't going to divorce his wife neither marry her (the lady) so twas a deal sort of and he has broken up with her ( which she confirmed)

He's come to see me in my place and I got posted for an official assignment to his state..He told me the girl has refused to leave even after he told her he has reconciled with his wife and the rest.

I got in yesterday and all hell was let loose, the lady was so violent and was saying all manner of trash,threatening fire and hailstone..
I simply asked her, do you know he was married? Did he tell you we were divorced?? Did you see my things in the house? She answered "yes". She said she has no place to go..I was even willing to give her something to take care of herself but she said " no", she wanted my husband and I should start realising she will become a second wife..

My husband in all this have been calling people to talk to her and go without violence..She's called my in-laws to curse(dunno how she got their numbers)... calling friends to tell them she isn't moving out of the house

It's really messy here and I don't want to create a scene..someone advised me I should involve the Civil defence authority.

I really dunno what to do

Please advise me

Royalroy

She should become the second wife den

mamadsquare:
Madam, I think you should leave that environment for now, for your own safety.
It's your husband that brought her into the house and it his he who should sort his mess.

When all is cleared you can go back to redrawing your reconciliation.

See how sense just full your head.... wise person

CoCoLav:
Lol....your 'co-wife' posted on Joro's blog and this is not the story she told us o. She said you are the one causing a scene and trying to interfere in her relationship.

What blog is that?

oodua1stson:
This story mirrors my life presently. Only difference is that I'm the husband.



Not that I'm heartless or I donr feel sorry for the new lady but the whole situation is just sad atm

you invited another woman into your home?

WiredLeggings:
you invited another woman into your home?

that was because my wife left

let your emotions be built on qualities and not physique.

Madam I think you threw your man out and he found happiness elsewhere and you couldn't endure to see him happy with another woman. You decided to creep into his life again. Maybe he started doing better after he left you, just maybe and the greed in you would not let him be. Your story is made up of half truths and omitted details. I think you are the greedy one here. Face your worst fears and accept you have a mate in home. She picked him up when you dumped his broke *ss.

praise1705:
most of those saying leave the matter for ur husband ain't married or understand the issue @ hand.

your husband made an error and as adults, he listened to you and decided to come back to you and wholeheartedly told you everything which other men won't do.

in accordance to the vow you both made his problems are yours also, he even brought down his ego and solicited for ur help, if it was money issues people would ve said he is ur husband.

Madam fight for what is yours and what belongs to you.

Look at it from this point of view- if the man had ended the relationship with her why didn't HE insist she should move out before his Mrs arrives?

Why should she be confronted live and physically with her husband's indiscretions(I am aware they were separated at the time)?

It is his wife that is King Kong abi?

Some problems you must support your spouse from the sidelines! No one is asking her to quit all the concern is for her safety!!!

Sir you hit the nail on the head. Many women make stupid decisions based on emotions hence we see so many of them as victims.

Trying to prove how tough and brave you are has put many women in bad situation

Richy4:
I was even surprised the OP was having a conversation with the said woman...when she should have done RIGHT ABOUT TURN!!!! instantly like a soldier and go check herself in a hotel close by.. and let the man sort out his mess himself...

Leave the environment for now possibly go and rent a place to live for now without your husband. Give him this condition, tell him, he brought that upon himself and he should contact you when he's ready and already done away with the strange woman. If she's gone then you will come back. So simple your husband will do the needful. This is suppose to be his responsibility and headache and not yours OK. I hope this helps?

Hernyolar:
Good day familylanders.
I come here to air my current dilemma and ask for a way out.
I'm married with a kid, got separated with my husband last year Jan due to some little issues that weren't managed properly and got escalated..
We stayed in touch for A year cos of child welfare and the rest. He obviously had a relationship with another lady in his base, while I remain single
Sometimes this year, we started talking about reconciliation and the talks went well, we've seen our mistakes and accepted to work on the marriage.
He confessed to me he had a relationship with a lady but he told he was married with a child and he wasn't going to divorce his wife neither marry her (the lady) so twas a deal sort of and he has broken up with her ( which she confirmed)see

He's come to see me in my place and I got posted for an official assignment to his state..He told me the girl has refused to leave even after he told her he has reconciled with his wife and the rest.

I got in yesterday and all hell was let loose, the lady was so violent and was saying all manner of trash,threatening fire and hailstone..
I simply asked her, do you know he was married? Did he tell you we were divorced?? Did you see my things in the house? She answered "yes". She said she has no place to go..I was even willing to give her something to take care of herself but she said " no", she wanted my husband and I should start realising she will become a second wife..

My husband in all this have been calling people to talk to her and go without violence..She's called my in-laws to curse(dunno how she got their numbers)... calling friends to tell them she isn't moving out of the house

It's really messy here and I don't want to create a scene..someone advised me I should involve the Civil defence authority.

I really dunno what to do

Please advise me

Royalroy

I forgot the name I wanted to call your husband, but the name is very derogatory

Hernyolar:
Good day familylanders.
I come here to air my current dilemma and ask for a way out.
I'm married with a kid, got separated with my husband last year Jan due to some little issues that weren't managed properly and got escalated..
We stayed in touch for A year cos of child welfare and the rest. He obviously had a relationship with another lady in his base, while I remain single
Sometimes this year, we started talking about reconciliation and the talks went well, we've seen our mistakes and accepted to work on the marriage.
He confessed to me he had a relationship with a lady but he told he was married with a child and he wasn't going to divorce his wife neither marry her (the lady) so twas a deal sort of and he has broken up with her ( which she confirmed)

He's come to see me in my place and I got posted for an official assignment to his state..He told me the girl has refused to leave even after he told her he has reconciled with his wife and the rest.

I got in yesterday and all hell was let loose, the lady was so violent and was saying all manner of trash,threatening fire and hailstone..
I simply asked her, do you know he was married? Did he tell you we were divorced?? Did you see my things in the house? She answered "yes". She said she has no place to go..I was even willing to give her something to take care of herself but she said " no", she wanted my husband and I should start realising she will become a second wife..

My husband in all this have been calling people to talk to her and go without violence..She's called my in-laws to curse(dunno how she got their numbers)... calling friends to tell them she isn't moving out of the house

It's really messy here and I don't want to create a scene..someone advised me I should involve the Civil defence authority.

I really dunno what to do

Please advise me

Royalroy

Give no room to the devil The holy book stated but you not only gave room but parlour as well as kitchen ,toilet and bathroom.

You gave your husband to the woman and now your husband because of his BabaO doesn't want to be far from you while enjoying his peace with the other lady since you are co husband rather than a wife to him

Madam , the woman won't go because the person that brought her in is not ready to let go off her ...deal with this fact or divorce and go reset your life

Stay in your home madam. If you leave she won't leave. Stay there. Simple

Hernyolar:
Good day familylanders.
I come here to air my current dilemma and ask for a way out.
I'm married with a kid, got separated with my husband last year Jan due to some little issues that weren't managed properly and got escalated..
We stayed in touch for A year cos of child welfare and the rest. He obviously had a relationship with another lady in his base, while I remain single
Sometimes this year, we started talking about reconciliation and the talks went well, we've seen our mistakes and accepted to work on the marriage.
He confessed to me he had a relationship with a lady but he told he was married with a child and he wasn't going to divorce his wife neither marry her (the lady) so twas a deal sort of and he has broken up with her ( which she confirmed)

He's come to see me in my place and I got posted for an official assignment to his state..He told me the girl has refused to leave even after he told her he has reconciled with his wife and the rest.

I got in yesterday and all hell was let loose, the lady was so violent and was saying all manner of trash,threatening fire and hailstone..
I simply asked her, do you know he was married? Did he tell you we were divorced?? Did you see my things in the house? She answered "yes". She said she has no place to go..I was even willing to give her something to take care of herself but she said " no", she wanted my husband and I should start realising she will become a second wife..

My husband in all this have been calling people to talk to her and go without violence..She's called my in-laws to curse(dunno how she got their numbers)... calling friends to tell them she isn't moving out of the house

It's really messy here and I don't want to create a scene..someone advised me I should involve the Civil defence authority.

I really dunno what to do

Please advise me

Royalroy

Kill her