₦airaland Forum

SalamRushdie:
Some people are just smart enough to know that marriage is some primitive contractual contraptions that bears no actual importance in a man's day to day life and is actually just a standard for the lack of love or trust.. It's pure nonsense but we just do it for fad

Those "smart" people are the most dumbest!! Yes!!!

So having children with different ladies, changing women like tissues, with kids growing in dysfunctional homes with low self-esteem is your definition of enlightenment?

Coming home to a cold house devoid of a spouse and kids, with your consolation being T.V, girlfriends, porn, parties and beer is your definition of advancement?

If you do not get married, you would still engage in acts that bear resemblance to marriage albeit unholy (baby mamaism, live-in girlfriends etc.)!

If getting married is your definition of being primitive, then I would prefer to be a bushman for life while you engage in your "advanced" living. SalmanRushdie indeed.

InvertedHammer:
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Why the hell are people still getting married?


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Because they want to come home to a spouse, kids and an environment full of wramth and love!

bbsteve:
The only thing that will make a man be scared is just finance.

I beg to disagree. finance will always have a way in human life, whether married or single. fact is face reality, cut your cloth according to coat abi how them talk am self?
if you both are true to yourselves and agree, you will find happiness in the home whether the finances are enough , not enough or lacking completely. hard times never last and so do good times!!
I'm talking from experience bro!

Trottle:
Those "smart" people are the most dumbest!! Yes!!!

So having children with different ladies, changing women like tissues, with kids growing in dysfunctional homes with low self-esteem is your definition of enlightenment?

Coming home to a cold house devoid of a spouse and kids, with your consolation being T.V, girlfriends, porn, parties and beer is your definition of advancement?

If you do not get married, you would still engage in acts that bear resemblance to marriage albeit unholy (baby mamaism, live-in girlfriends etc.)!

If getting married is your definition of being primitive, then I would prefer to be a bushman for life while you engage in your "advanced" living. SalmanRushdie indeed.

boy!! that was some rapid fire!!! and all shots hit bullseye! the holy book says "as a man thinketh , so is he..." as SalmanRushdie thinks, so he is!

So some people are of the opinion the increasing trend of 'marriage-phobia' are caused by 'unserious', 'cowardly' and 'unprepared' men. Hmm...it takes two to tango.
These same women will be the ones to throw grenades in the matrimonial field the moment finance becomes an issue (wait wat i'm i saying sef? They dont wait these days..straight divorce!)
Dear Ladies,
You know we love y'all. But you cant eat your cake and have it! You do not complain of finances and now we have gone to make em complain of neglect again. Easy, we coming back for you guys. Les jus hope Bubu saves us all from this mess.

Nma27:
Economic crisis? Chameleonic character in some ladies?

she nailed it.As I speak to u,this is the single reason why am scared of marrying a lady.one lady once told me not even my family can stop her from bn my wife. With what she said it means there's a lot of things she's yet to manifest until after marriage

Benignasweety:
Okay sir

forever24:
Ladies have sex around & we are scared that they can't stay with one man.....The cheating rate is getting high... In this world where a woman will be on phone having sex with another guy & maybe speaking to fiancee same time.... ...in this world where ladies will have sex with ex few days to wedding......in this world where DNA fails.....In this world where if you don't have much money, love becomes an issue.......In this world where ladies have opened legs for many guys & cant stay with just one joystick.....Fear!!!! Its not just a fear of committment, but fear of cheating....





Your post shows the kind of ladies you date... mumu

dont call him "mumu" he has a very good point..and unfortunately "the kind of ladies he dates" is what many females are nowadays

Why Men are scared of Marriage this days?

It's not about being afraid of Responsibility, we do take care of our Siblings & their Needs, including Girlfrends.

It's not about being a coward, we can father a child out of Marriage.

Truth is Marriage no longer live up to the hype we were condition to believe, a Man can break free from the fantasy: they fell in love at the Farm, school, working place got Married & live happily ever after. Beautiful in Theory.
A man can break free from this Hallucination because of his natural inclination to reason using what he Observe in the society. But not a woman cus of his emotional nature. We all know the old saying; during free time men talks Politics and Sport but for Women is Feelings & Children. Now in Europe successful Women are freezing their egg, not because Of their career, but cus of no man deem himself ready to commit and the are face with IVF, single motherwood, bringing a child into this world with no father or Lonliness. Look at CR7.

Marriage now is like Nairabet u pick the odds u are sure of, but at the end only few good Testimonies.

Marriage is Uncharted Territory so don't tell me you have a perfect wife untill when life take a dive on you & give her all the power: Money.

Money is important in marriage, you cannot argue this.

With or without Money the marriage will work if the wife is good.

Money will not solve anything if you marry a bad wife.

When you can comfortably pay your house rent with at least total sum of your 3months salary, and pay for groceries as well as utility bills.

QUESTIONS TO ASK: If your wife to be is awaiting nysc and plan on furthering her education, how do you handle such an arrangement if you are in your late thirties?

Will you go ahead and marry her? make babies, and then she can further afterwards?

Men and women are getting married every weekend, y'all are here whining like lil bitches. ..truth is these things have no laid down rules. When it's time, ITS TIME!.

Even if some of you have the money, you will still look for excuses. Some of the people who are getting married are not all that stable, but together they make things work.

Make una dey Nairaland dey nack teeth,old age dey come.

rockyh:
she nailed it.As I speak to u,this is the single reason why am scared of marrying a lady.one lady once told me not even my family can stop her from bn my wife. With what she said it means there's a lot of things she's yet to manifest until after marriage

Its well. Let ur God guide you. Marry your friend.

Some men are just scared of commitment..some even after marriage dey arent still commited

Evaberry:
....

The only a reason a man gets scared of marriage is because he's a coward who cannot face the reality of life, the reality of having his own family and taking care of them, he would rather no one be dependent on him. The biggest excuse of Nigerian men on why are not yet ready for marriage is 'No money' as if you need all the money in the world to get married.

Sadly marriage is overrated and done to please the society and parents, As a man never propose because of pressure and as a woman never accept a proposal because of pressure, marry someone who makes you happy, who you connect with not just on a sexual level, Marry someone who you know is going to make your life easier.

Finally, FTC WAWU, been a long time I got this spot, I want to dedicate this ftc to my very special Nairalander, I miss you everyday, I miss spending time with you, I miss the incredible orgasm and lastly I wish you would stop being a coward and just do it.

Will i be right to say women who are afraid of marriage are cowards for same reasons?

theophorus:
In my opinion Guy's are not scared of Marriage...

These are some of the reasons guys are not getting married...

1. You can get Sex without any commitment.

2. Premarital is now a norm.

3. Women have turn themselves to Sex object and not Mothers anymore.

4. Baby Daddy is the trending thing.

5. Love is not Sold to the Highest bidder.

6. There are no-jobs with Financial Security.

7. Men and Women don't know what Marriage means anymore.

8. We are all Selfish.

NB: Money is Very important but definitely not the Most important Thing.

on point

Kokaine:
its not like i condemn asking. but i hate it. i have financial stress sometimes where i rather endure than ask someone. if the quest is genuine and from a person who is naturally shy of asking from other people, no biggie, i will assist however i can. but if its on the premise that i owe you something because i married your sister, you will return my bride price and carry her away.

3 gbosas for you. I don tell her mama sef for her face say make she come carry her commot, nonsense.

I no go kill myself on woman matter!

eberetos:
Ladies have sex around & we are scared that they can't stay with one man.....The cheating rate is getting high... In this world where a woman will be on phone having sex with another guy & may be speaking to fiancee same time.... ...in this world where ladies will have sex with ex few days to wedding......in this world where DNA fails.....In this world where if you don't have much money, love becomes an issue.......In this world where ladies have opened legs for many guys & cant stay with just one joystick.....Fear!!!! Its not just a fear of committment, but fear of cheating....

very true

Trottle:
Those "smart" people are the most dumbest!! Yes!!!

So having children with different ladies, changing women like tissues, with kids growing in dysfunctional homes with low self-esteem is your definition of enlightenment?

Coming home to a cold house devoid of a spouse and kids, with your consolation being T.V, girlfriends, porn, parties and beer is your definition of advancement?

If you do not get married, you would still engage in acts that bear resemblance to marriage albeit unholy (baby mamaism, live-in girlfriends etc.)!

If getting married is your definition of being primitive, then I would prefer to be a bushman for life while you engage in your "advanced" living. SalmanRushdie indeed.

You need to unplug your brain and enjoy this thing called life bro ..

JeffreyJamez:
Men and women are getting married every weekend, y'all are here whining like lil bitches. ..truth is these things have no laid down rules. When it's time, ITS TIME!.

Even if some of you have the money, you will still look for excuses. Some of the people who are getting married are not all that stable, but together they make things work.

Make una dey Nairaland dey nack teeth,old age dey come.

Nonsense!

This is leading ignorant lambs to the slaughter.

If you don't want marriage DON'T MARRY! You are not missing anything!!! There is a lot of frustration and too much endurance in marriages.

Life is damp too short to fill it with unhappiness, and who this society EPP!!

Marriage or baby mamaism or whatever we re talking about. Is caused by the fact that VALUES AND MORALS are becoming weaker or being lost over time. So generally people continue with the trend. Such is life!. So theres no big deal

SalamRushdie:
You need to unplug your brain and enjoy this thing called life bro ..

Do you have difficulties comprehending??
My definition of enjoyment is having a stable and loving home complete with kids, spouse, improving humanity etc. Not fornicating around with random girls and eventually breaking down with depression and deep regret. If that's your definition of "enjoying life", it's your choice. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Trottle:
Do you have difficulties comprehending??
My definition of enjoyment is having a stable and loving home complete with kids, spouse, improving humanity etc. Not fornicating around with random girls and eventually breaking down with depression and deep regret. If that's your definition of "enjoying life", it's your choice. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Trottle such a naive mind

Trottle:
Do you have difficulties comprehending??
My definition of enjoyment is having a stable and loving home complete with kids, spouse, improving humanity etc. Not fornicating around with random girls and eventually breaking down with depression and deep regret. If that's your definition of "enjoying life", it's your choice. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Make your own choice and let others be jare.

chibuzorAbia:
Nonsense!

This is leading ignorant lambs to the slaughter.

If you don't want marriage DON'T MARRY! You are not missing anything!!! There is a lot of frustration and too much endurance in marriages.

Life is damp too short to fill it with unhappiness, and who this society EPP!!

Nonsense! The person you quoted was very correct.
If you don't want marriage, then stay away from it and any that bears even the slightest resemblance to it (live-in girlfriend, having sex, having children outside wedlock etc.) If you can't stay away, you are a bloody hypocrite!

Until you begin to look beyond this material universe, you would still be "blind". The society has tremendously helped. If the people of the old didn't labour to keep the society stable and sane which you peeps are trying to up turn, you probably might have end up as a bastard child with suicide tendencies and low self-esteem.

People, my advise is if you have the means, please marry. Don't continue to give out pieces of your life to random " one-night standers" all in the name of enjoyment which peeps like this poster is advocating. If you thinking I'm untruthful, study the Western world. With all their advancement and superior technology, there is no real happiness. Don't let "happiest countries poll" fool you. Material things do not translate to happiness!!!

SalamRushdie:
Trottle such a naive mind

Thanks for the compliment sir.

Let me wallow and enjoy in my naivety.

My. Fellow brothers things have gone from bad to worse,the economic hardship is gruelling,no job, young men are grinding daily to make a living,the streets is the office of many young men.women now worsened the issue by 30times by adopting a lifestyle of a chamleon, with many colours. So we men have to go on defence,most men have languished in pain and regret in the name of love...

Trottle:
Nonsense! The person you quoted was very correct.
If you don't want marriage, then stay away from it and any that bears even the slightest resemblance to it (live-in girlfriend, having sex, having children outside wedlock etc.) If you can't stay away, you are a bloody hypocrite!

Until you begin to look beyond this material universe, you would still be "blind". The society has tremendously helped. If the people of the old didn't labour to keep the society stable and sane which you peeps are trying to up turn, you probably might have end up as a bastard child with suicide tendencies and low self-esteem.

People, my advise is if you have the means, please marry. Don't continue to give out pieces of your life to random " one-night standers" all in the name of enjoyment which peeps like this poster is advocating. If you thinking I'm untruthful, study the Western world. With all their advancement and superior technology, there is no real happiness. Don't let "happiest countries poll" fool you. Material things do not translate to happiness!!!

Ok, so poverty translates to happiness abi?

And who told you marriage is prerequisite for s3x, live-in lovers, child bearing etc? Absolute nonsense!

Most modern marriages are endurance, pain, betrayals and the list goes on. A good friend of mine got laid off at MOBIL after 25 years service. The wife started suddenly started throwing hitherto unknown tantrums and just 6 month after they are no longer living together. Trust me guy gave her the best of life over the 25 years.

Abeg do what you like with your lives guys.

....

Sniper12:
so marriages like the one of okotie and oyakilome are from god?. Or the once husband or wife was beaten or poisoned too is from god too?. Gerahere

Nuisance I'm not talking about god but I'm taking about God

Ladies are bitch3s...it's that simple.

Evaberry:
....

The only a reason a man gets scared of marriage is because he's a coward who cannot face the reality of life, the reality of having his own family and taking care of them, he would rather no one be dependent on him. The biggest excuse of Nigerian men on why are not yet ready for marriage is 'No money' as if you need all the money in the world to get married.

Sadly marriage is overrated and done to please the society and parents, As a man never propose because of pressure and as a woman never accept a proposal because of pressure, marry someone who makes you happy, who you connect with not just on a sexual level, Marry someone who you know is going to make your life easier.

Finally, FTC WAWU, been a long time I got this spot, I want to dedicate this ftc to my very special Nairalander, I miss you everyday, I miss spending time with you, I miss the incredible orgasm and lastly I wish you would stop being a coward and just do it.

I wanted to counter the early part of your post but the middle & end made more sense.
In Nigeria, the hardship battle some men ll make them wish they marry an Iindian

Chascop:
Nuisance I'm not talking about god but I'm taking about God

whether god or God. what do u have to say to those facts/scenarios i presented