My ex boyfriend and I dated for about 9 months until he recently broke things off with me stating that he feels as though he can't make me happy and he can't give me what I need and deserve. He says a part of him isn't ready for a relationship and a part of him is. He said that if he's in a relationship with me he doesn't just want a relationship he wants more.... but he broke it off with me!!! I'm so confused and I don't know what that means.

I accepted it at the time and decided I was going to move on. Obviously hurt, I blocked him to make the separation easier. Well he panicked and texted me on an app the next morning asking why I blocked him. I told him he left me and I don't understand. He said he's still very confused and that he didn't leave me. I realized he didn't know what he wanted so I decided to tell him to relax and give it time so we can move on. I reassured him that I don't hate him and that I've been grieving the loss for a while (he was extremely cold and distant before the breakup). He said he will respect my need for space and try not to contact me.

Bearing in mind that he broke up with me WTF?!! I'm so confused but I had to be the mature one. He needs to think about what he wants.
I can't lie, I love this man and I want him in my life but some areas of our relationship obviously haven't been great and I don't just want a mediocre relationship.

I'm finding it so hard to make sense of his behavior. What's going on in his head, what should I do?

SAsunset:
My ex boyfriend and I dated for about 9 months until he recently broke things off with me stating that he feels as though he can't make me happy and he can't give me what I need and deserve. He says a part of him isn't ready for a relationship and a part of him is.

First lie!!

SAsunset:

He said that if he's in a relationship with me he doesn't just want a relationship he wants more.... but he broke it off with me!!! I'm so confused and I don't know what that means.

I accepted it at the time and decided I was going to move on. Obviously hurt, I blocked him to make the separation easier. Well he panicked and texted me on an app the next morning asking why I blocked him. I told him he left me and I don't understand. He said he's still very confused and that he didn't leave me.

He doesn't know what he wants as you have stated.

SAsunset:

I realized he didn't know what he wanted so I decided to tell him to relax and give it time so we can move on. I reassured him that I don't hate him and that I've been grieving the loss for a while (he was extremely cold and distant before the breakup). He said he will respect my need for space and try not to contact me.

Another scam!!

SAsunset:

Bearing in mind that he broke up with me WTF?!! I'm so confused but I had to be the mature one. He needs to think about what he wants.
I can't lie, I love this man and I want him in my life but some areas of our relationship obviously haven't been great and I don't just want a mediocre relationship.

I'm finding it so hard to make sense of his behavior. What's going on in his head, what should I do?

He is a liar and time waster, he wants to play fast game on you! My sister, please move on, we have some of them like that, he initiates the breakup, yet he wants you to feel you are the cause of the breakup.

Thank you for your input. I'll move on, I know I deserve better.

Antina:


First lie!!



He doesn't know what he wants as you have stated.


Another scam!!





He is a liar and time waster, he wants to play fast game on you! My sister, please move on, we have some of them like that, he initiates the breakup, yet he wants you to feel you are the cause of the breakup.

SAsunset:
My ex boyfriend and I dated for about 9 months until he recently broke things off with me stating that he feels as though he can't make me happy and he can't give me what I need and deserve. He says a part of him isn't ready for a relationship and a part of him is. He said that if he's in a relationship with me he doesn't just want a relationship he wants more.... but he broke it off with me!!! I'm so confused and I don't know what that means.

I accepted it at the time and decided I was going to move on. Obviously hurt, I blocked him to make the separation easier. Well he panicked and texted me on an app the next morning asking why I blocked him. I told him he left me and I don't understand. He said he's still very confused and that he didn't leave me. I realized he didn't know what he wanted so I decided to tell him to relax and give it time so we can move on. I reassured him that I don't hate him and that I've been grieving the loss for a while (he was extremely cold and distant before the breakup). He said he will respect my need for space and try not to contact me.

Bearing in mind that he broke up with me WTF?!! I'm so confused but I had to be the mature one. He needs to think about what he wants.
I can't lie, I love this man and I want him in my life but some areas of our relationship obviously haven't been great and I don't just want a mediocre relationship.

I'm finding it so hard to make sense of his behavior. What's going on in his head, what should I do?

he is a confused bloke. He doesn't know what he wants but I am sure what you do know is that you don't need anyone taking you on a merry go round trip. Move on

Continue driving, you'll get to your destination soon.

Maybe u indirectly told him how great ur past relationship was and how ur friends r happy in their own relationship....


Comparism kills relationship
.. He knows what he wants but can afford it..

I've never compared my relationship to anyone else's and shared it with him. Early in the relationship I did stupidly share with him that there's a guy that still wants to be with me but I keep shutting him down. He's never been able to get over that.

nrexzy:
Maybe u indirectly told him how great ur past relationship was and how ur friends r happy in their own relationship....


Comparism kills relationship
.. He knows what he wants but can afford it..

SAsunset:
I've never compared my relationship to anyone else's and shared it with him. Early in the relationship I did stupidly share with him that there's a guy that still wants to be with me but I keep shutting him down. He's never been able to get over that.

You see indirectly u meant no harm but to him it's a strong rivalry.
..
Moreover maybe he got some else busting his bubbles... Same way u girls dump guys we also play that same trick on u...

Maybe he does, I want to ask him but idk if it even makes sense to do so. He'll probably just lie and I really don't want to be the one initiating contact again.

nrexzy:

You see indirectly u meant no harm but to him it's a strong rivalry.
..
Moreover maybe he got some else busting his bubbles... Same way u girls dump guys we also play that same trick on u...

He probably just wants to have his cake and eat it.

I suspect he's exploring a new relationship but wants to keep enjoying whatever bits of your relationship he enjoyed!

Forget him and move on. It's his type who sleeps with a lady on Sunday night and gets married to another on Monday morning!

Don't let him waste your time! Block him completely and get a breather.

Getting over heartbreak can be tough but you'd survive!

You even sound like a tough cookie with your head screwed on right! You'll be just fine sweetie

SAsunset:
Maybe he does, I want to ask him but idk if it even makes sense to do so. He'll probably just lie and I really don't want to be the one initiating contact again.

Ask him tell him ur seeking closure

@op, the bold says it all and that is what you need to know to help you move on. ENOUGH SAID

SAsunset:
My ex boyfriend and I dated for about 9 months until he recently broke things off with me stating that he feels as though he can't make me happy and he can't give me what I need and deserve. He says a part of him isn't ready for a relationship and a part of him is. He said that if he's in a relationship with me he doesn't just want a relationship he wants more.... but he broke it off with me!!! I'm so confused and I don't know what that means.

I accepted it at the time and decided I was going to move on. Obviously hurt, I blocked him to make the separation easier. Well he panicked and texted me on an app the next morning asking why I blocked him. I told him he left me and I don't understand. He said he's still very confused and that he didn't leave me. I realized he didn't know what he wanted so I decided to tell him to relax and give it time so we can move on. I reassured him that I don't hate him and that I've been grieving the loss for a while (he was extremely cold and distant before the breakup). He said he will respect my need for space and try not to contact me.

Bearing in mind that he broke up with me WTF?!! I'm so confused but I had to be the mature one. He needs to think about what he wants.
I can't lie, I love this man and I want him in my life but some areas of our relationship obviously haven't been great and I don't just want a mediocre relationship.

I'm finding it so hard to make sense of his behavior. What's going on in his head, what should I do?

Thank you. His behavior definitely can not be trusted. I am pretty tough but heartbreak really isn't easy. I loved him but definitely have to look out for my own interest at this point in time.

babythug:
He probably just wants to have his cake and eat it.

I suspect he's exploring a new relationship but wants to keep enjoying whatever bits of your relationship he enjoyed!

Forget him and move on. It's his type who sleeps with a lady on Sunday night and gets married to another on Monday morning!

Don't let him waste your time! Block him completely and get a breather.

Getting over heartbreak can be tough but you'd survive!

You even sound like a tough cookie with your head screwed on right! You'll be just fine sweetie

nrexzy:

Ask him tell him ur seeking closure

Please don't do this. He wants to keep stringing you along, probably just to keep you as Plan B.

ModusOperandi:
Please don't do this. He wants to keep stringing you along, probably just to keep you as Plan B.

Nop would help u move on and know more about yourself

nrexzy:

Nop would help u move on and know more about yourself

There's no guarantee the fellow will tell her the truth!

babythug:


There's no guarantee the fellow will tell her the truth!

U are right sister!! He would continue lying to her.

babythug:


There's no guarantee the fellow will tell her the truth!

.
No guarantee needed just a closure....

I asked and he said no, said he felt no reason to cheat as I'm the best he's had. I'm not sure I believe him as he made cheating a completely physical thing. He said early on before we were in a committed state that there was someone but that he had not been in contact with the person during the time we were together. We had already discussed that months ago and I knew.

While I know he could be lying, I've accepted his answer and I'm still moving on with my life.

babythug:


There's no guarantee the fellow will tell her the truth!

He said no but I'm still moving on. Im not going to be convenient for anyone. It did help to just get it off my chest though.

Antina:


U are right sister!! He would continue lieing to her.

babythug said it all. pls move on and forget him.

I am not a relationship expert.... But in your write up you called him an Ex from the beginning So let him remain there...

When did u guys brk up exactly?
Do I know u?

Maybe he wants to experience makeup sex?

I think you two are still young and thus still exploring with emotions every now and then. your man ain't yet mature to keep a relationship. you seem more psych-stable than him , let him be , move on and get better things doing with your life, the right man shall soon locate you.(2).does he have inferiority complex challenge?, are you more educated than him or more expose and sound than him do you pose challenge higher than his capability on him ?does he sees you As more sophisticated than him??, All this could be the great pointer towards the bearing of your misunderstandings......check them out

Thank you for your input. He's always said he doesn't feel deserving of me, on what grounds I'm not sure since I've always reassured him but never prolonged the issue. He works and is working towards his first degree. I graduated a few years back and I'm currently employed and planning to go back for my masters. I really don't think he has a reason to feel inferior but always says he doesn't think he's deserves me.

gidjah:
I think you two are still young and thus still exploring with emotions every now and then. your man ain't yet mature to keep a relationship. you seem more psych-stable than him , let him be , move on and get better things doing with your life, the right man shall soon locate you.(2).does he have inferiority complex challenge?, are you more educated than him or more expose and sound than him do you pose challenge higher than his capability on him ?does he sees you As more sophisticated than him??, All this could be the great pointer towards the bearing of your misunderstandings......check them out

This your ex is having a serious inferiority complex.
He is working on first degree and you are planning on going for your master.
That's simply the reason he broke up with you. The guy may not actually be a lair as some said but just don't want to loose you when he now thinks it's time to make you his wife(reason he kept saying he can't give you all you want). And I guess he is an igbo man.
Another thing is that may be you guys are just too young......guessing sha.

Just a few weeks prior to the break up he was hinting about needing to buy a ring (engagement) and asking me what my ring size is. He mentioned numerous times how he's planning to buy a house and needs a wife but I've never engaged him in those conversations become I didn't want to seem desperate. I simply listened, and smiled but never really replied.

We're not that young, we're both in our late twenties. He's an engineering major, I really don't think he has anything to feel inferior about.

I really do appreciate your input though.

nnamdibig:
This your ex is having a serious inferiority complex.
He is working on first degree and you are planning on going for your master.
That's simply the reason he broke up with you. The guy may not actually be a lair as some said but just don't want to loose you when he now thinks it's time to make you his wife(reason he kept saying he can't give you all you want). And I guess he is an igbo man.
Another thing is that may be you guys are just too young......guessing sha.

You have been emotionaly scammed. Grow up,move on and be wiser next time!

SAsunset:
Just a few weeks prior to the break up he was hinting about needing to buy a ring (engagement) and asking me what my ring size is. He mentioned numerous times how he's planning to buy a house and needs a wife but I've never engaged him in those conversations become I didn't want to seem desperate. I simply listened, and smiled but never really replied.

We're not that young, we're both in our late twenties. He's an engineering major, I really don't think he has anything to feel inferior about.

I really do appreciate your input though.

Seriously am not seeing a lair in him. Could it be that in a bid not to sound desperate you now make him feel you are always reluctant whenever he talks of getting married that made him initiate the break up?
Am just seeing a missing link that both of you really need to fix(thats if both of you truly love each other)