Ladies are you paying attention because I shall say this only once and I believe once is enough for you. I mean, a word is enough for the wise and this is why wise people only speak once. Yes, a wise man once said this.

Most of you women just believe that because we are men, we are automatically some form of robot that can do anything and should in fact do everything. I’m sorry o but that’s far from the reality. Matter of fact, this is why some men have decided to be feminine seeing as they can’t cope with the demands of manhood. This has nothing to do with joystick length. Thanks. As Nigerian men, here’s a list of some things you shouldn’t expect or ask us to do, please and thank you.

1.OPEN DOORS:

Now don’t get it twisted, I know some of you are already like “it’s a lie, my man opens doors for me all the time. Well, yeah, it could be that his locks are special, the car door is faulty or you’re a new girlfriend. But here’s where I need you to think carefully; Your man opens the car door for you when you’re getting in right? Does he open it as well after the drive is done? I can bet my 3 month income that he doesn’t. Are you even mad? So you’ll get to the destination and you’ll sit still like unmoving waters and wait for him to come round to open the door? No really? You don’t feel like a waste? LOL, stop watching these movies girl, it don’t happen. You better flex your right arm, reach out to the door handle, pull and get your butt off that seat. Or if it’s a special edition ride, ask him for the ‘window winder,’ reach outside the window, locate the door handle and then pull. Sometimes your shoulder might be needed to complete the door opening procedure


2.Kill cockroaches and huge bleeping spiders:

Baby, the last time I checked, I was an Engineer not a Pest/Rodent Control Officer. The Bible even says “…and God made man in His image after His own likeness…” “…and gave them dominion…” Dominion is derived from the Greek word *look up the Greek word and insert here* which means ‘dominate.’This domination was given to both man and woman so I don’t understand why it has all of a sudden become my duty to kill roaches and seek out rats. I don’t see the problem these guys are bringing our way. Do you see them with guns or bombs? They really aren’t a bother so why should we seek to cut their life short? I suggest a negotiation system. How about you leave the room and allow me reason with these guys? I’m sure we can reach some form of agreement. Pushing me to kill or tossing a slipper at me to handle the issue isn’t the best. PS: If we’re talking about flying roaches though, can we discuss this in some other room?

3.Nigerian men are not Investigators:

So it’s 2am and we slept off after some hot-like-egusi sex and somehow you don’t sleep deep so you heard a sound originating from outside or downstairs. Two questions:

– Why did you wake me?

– Did the sound call my or your name?

– Do I look like I major in handling sounds?

– Why the Bleep didn’t you just go check for yourself since you’re so attached to sounds?

I know that’s four questions, sorry this issue pains me. I mean, let sounds be. If you’re scared, just squeeze closer to me, hold me tighter. It helps if you’re sleeping Unclad as this gesture will arouse me and before you know it, we begin to make sounds of our own. Let us use sounds to eradicate the fear of sounds. Please, haven’t you seen that those who go to investigate sounds end up dead? Please biko, I still want to live this life.

4. Nigerian men can’t have abs, a baritone voice and beards:

So you better “pick your choose2 very carefully. You women just think you can replace “tall, dark and handsome” with “beard, build and baritone” without sending a request to the Federal Senate? You can’t. It’s not done. Now I’m an exception, I mean I’ve got all three (shut up, I do) but the average Nigerian guy has the beard (most of you are just struggling but we’ll allow you), the build? Well not with those pot bellies that lead you around and abeg sounding like a conductor isn’t really baritone. So women, choose one.

Nigerian men won’t allow you drive their new car in his absence: Yes you’re the boo but baby, his ride is his gem. It’s not like what is his isn’t yours but see yeah? If you now bash the car, what will you say? Sorry? S-O-R-R-Y? You will now do face like a caught puppy and expect him to react? If your man lets you drive his new car, just know that if you bash it, you have to say ‘yes’ when he asks you to marry him, and note: he won’t ask kneeling down.

Of course there are other things Nigerian men can’t/won’t do but space hinders me from mentioning them all, I know some might wanna mention eating ass but I really know nothing ‘bout that poo and I don’t want to make unfounded assumptions.

Cheers yo!

well, dear op, if nigeria men cnt kil cockroch den who wi na kil it , dats mainly una work o buh wen u guys r absent den fyn we d females cn negociate wit d cockroach, my man shud hv bixeps, abs, muscles lol, beards, baritone voice, cus his gonna nid it , he must b tal and handsome more dan antony josh , *** anyways parkin my bags to go and meet my guy from cali****

...

lefulefu:
...

hello SIr, u related to obama

Stellie:
well, dear op, if nigeria men cnt kil cockroch den who wi na kil it , dats mainly una work o buh wen u guys r absent den fyn we d females cn negociate wit d cockroach, my man shud hv bixeps, abs, muscles lol, beards, baritone voice, cus his gonna nid it , he must b tal and handsome more dan antony josh , *** anyways parkin my bags to go and meet my guy from cali****

Biceps, abs and muscles
For what?

Stellie:
hello SIr, u related to obama

.. :hmm

Stellie:
well, dear op, if nigeria men cnt kil cockroch den who wi na kil it , dats mainly una work o buh wen u guys r absent den fyn we d females cn negociate wit d cockroach, my man shud hv bixeps, abs, muscles lol, beards, baritone voice, cus his gonna nid it , he must b tal and handsome more dan antony josh , *** anyways parkin my bags to go and meet my guy from cali****

babe pls don't pack bags ooo , just go outside and pack mud and create Him already

I think I will do most of these things, killing a spider is not a big deal or opening the door

However, the beard issue is where I agree with the op

I don't know about all of that
I have no complaints

Yet another rubbish!

ilotriouzAY:


Biceps, abs and muscles For what?

wel u wil never know

A-Z


Load of crap

Nonsensical nonsense

All true but #2.

PMWSpirit:
babe pls don't pack bags ooo , just go outside and pack mud and create Him already

na wetin d babe want na
wich one u come dey say make im go mould im guy
abi na ceramic school we dey?

lefulefu:
na wetin d babe want na wich one u come dey say make im go mould im guy abi na ceramic school we dey?

Hahahahah I sure

lefulefu:
...

I can see that you like Obama.

Stellie:
well, dear op, if nigeria men cnt kil cockroch den who wi na kil it , dats mainly una work o buh wen u guys r absent den fyn we d females cn negociate wit d cockroach, my man shud hv bixeps, abs, muscles lol, beards, baritone voice, cus his gonna nid it , he must b tal and handsome more dan antony josh , *** anyways parkin my bags to go and meet my guy from cali****

I could do those for you na... Oya come

lefulefu:

na wetin d babe want na
wich one u come dey say make im go mould im guy
abi na ceramic school we dey?

hahahaha , she fit be first class grad from ceramic school. But na true you talk . For me sha the choice is (biitcchh sit down - be humble, show me something natural like them fat ass with small stretch marks abeg

PMWSpirit:
hahahaha , she fit be first class grad from ceramic school. But na true you talk . For me sha the choice is (biitcchh sit down - be humble, show me something natural like them fat ass with small stretch marks abeg

haha

Rorachy:
I can see that you like Obama.

na my mentor

Trash.com ko make any sense rara

dipznano:



I could do those for you na... Oya come

Ehen I don ketch u so dis is how u are eh
Continue

sunshineG:
I think I will do most of these things, killing a spider is not a big deal or opening the door

However, the beard issue is where I agree with the op

so there are babes wey dey fear spiders bah?
one of close paddy then for school(he"s late now)...na so if he see monitor lizard enter room he go scream run comot for room.na im girlfriend go carry broom dey chase the monitor lizard.

lefulefu:
na my mentor

go enter politics make I bam well

Lalas247:

Ehen I don ketch u so dis is how u are eh
Continue

Lool... Chai!

It is the work of the devil oo
Me I'm just observing, he's the one surfing

Kiss ur hand... I met this cute young girl today and we got introduced by her friend a mutual friend so I took her hand in mine and after the 15 seconds intro she just said " I thought u were gonna kiss my hand" well I did it for the first time.. Next kiss would be her throbbing cl!t but I heard she's a virgin so am loosing interest already...

dipznano:



Lool... Chai!

It is the work of the devil oo
Me I'm just observing, he's the one surfing

Surfing what

Lalas247:

Surfing what

You know na

Coded

Opening the door of the car

dipznano:


I could do those for you na... Oya come

do u hv al d qualities