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Me and my husband argue about little stuff but it carries a lot of weight. He drinks and I don't like it. He was supposed to have quit drinking liquor, but I've found out that it is not true. Been married only 3 1/2 months and don't know what to do. I cook, clean, work, take care of his affairs, etc... He feels he shouldn't do anything I believe and what gets messed up in the home, he's the one to do it and I could have just cleaned up. Just don't know how to handle these situations and need some advice.
http://maritalblues.fincoapps.com/story/my-husband-argues-like-a-woman

You mean ur husband likes to engage in robust conversations nd wants to reason with you. Some of you women like being heard but don't like listening. So when u have a man who has superior reasoning and u can't cope u come up with funny excuses like dis one here.

You did not know he used to drink before?
You did not sense he is the type of man that feels a lady is to do all the house work while he sits in parlor and watch tv?
I wonder what people take time to observe while dating
You think it's just to be hanging out and talking I love you
This are issues you should have seen while dating and spoken about it
"Tell him openly then...boo I think I Wld appreciate if u Wld help me around the house wen we marry o...this one that u hv this mindset that house work na only d woman go do am even if she wan die u no go help)
Learn to communicate openly
If he won't stay then let him go, at least u Wld know God saved you from eternal mess
Than to now be shouting just barely 4 months after wedding
Rubbish

maritalblues:
Me and my husband argue about little stuff but it carries a lot of weight. He drinks and I don't like it. He was supposed to have quit drinking liquor, but I've found out that it is not true. Been married only 3 1/2 months and don't know what to do. I cook, clean, work, take care of his affairs, etc... He feels he shouldn't do anything I believe and what gets messed up in the home, he's the one to do it and I could have just cleaned up. Just don't know how to handle these situations and need some advice.
http://maritalblues.fincoapps.com/story/my-husband-argues-like-a-woman

I Dont even understand this complain. Wetin the man do sef? 3 months and you have started complaining. Wake up swidy, na marriage be this oo.

fumisko:
You did not know he used to drink before?
You did not sense he is the type of man that feels a lady is to do all the house work while he sits in parlor and watch tv?
I wonder what people take time to observe while dating
You think it's just to be hanging out and talking I love you
This are issues you should have seen while dating and spoken about it
"Tell him openly then...boo I think I Wld appreciate if u Wld help me around the house wen we marry o...this one that u hv this mindset that house work na only d woman go do am even if she wan die u no go help)
Learn to communicate openly
If he won't stay then let him go, at least u Wld know God saved you from eternal mess
Than to now be shouting just barely 4 months after wedding
Rubbish

Very mature response...I mean...you spoke my mind...its good to see ladies who are objective on matters relating to marriage....

maritalblues:
Me and my husband argue about little stuff but it carries a lot of weight. He drinks and I don't like it. He was supposed to have quit drinking liquor, but I've found out that it is not true. Been married only 3 1/2 months and don't know what to do. I cook, clean, work, take care of his affairs, etc... He feels he shouldn't do anything I believe and what gets messed up in the home, he's the one to do it and I could have just cleaned up. Just don't know how to handle these situations and need some advice.
http://maritalblues.fincoapps.com/story/my-husband-argues-like-a-woman

You will not be fair if you sound like you don't know he drinks before you married him.

And assuming he stopped drinking is all-together weak. Yes! People change, but when it comes to alcohol, it is difficult.

One thing is sure, a man that drinks will argue, if one is started. Remember, he is under influence.

Here's what I think:

1. Encourage him to eschew alcoholism, let him know how bad it makes him look whenever he's drunk. And how much you respect and value him. It will not be easy, don't think there's a short-cut, you know what you're getting into as you were marrying him, Just be a real woman, face the problem and seek the right solution.

2. Stop arguing with him: When a man/woman is drunk, it is no use to raise an argument with them, it will only het messy cuz such person doesn't even know the dept of their actions. There's a problem of cotton wool. If every time he walks thru the door, you slide a cotton wool into your mouth without allowing his drunkenness to influence you into anger and contempt, you'll change him in no time.

3. Get a family member whom he respects involved: Sometimes, you can't go it alone. There are people that still call the shorts in his life. Could be his mother, father or any other family. Let them know you never discuss your family problem outside of the family and that's the reason you came to them. Tell them to help you "behind the scene". If you can't influence him, I think his family can.

4. Pray and be strong: No marriage is perfect so long it involves "human", an imperfect creation. Don't ever believe that your case is worse. Never ever think it is without redemption. People change and no situation is ever concluded cuz nothing is permanent in life. Be strong, believe that he'll change and you'll regain your lovely husband again.

5. Stop getting advices from your friends, especially those whom you're even wiser than: Friends advice is the bane of most relationships. There's nothing someone, whose experience and exposure is same as can offer you that you cannot offer yourself. Be careful how you listen to friends, they have a way of hiding their own challenges and making you feel you're worst off.

6. Listen to yourself/Mind: There's nothing anyone else can tell you that your mind is not already schooling you about. Though sometimes, we need to hear things from other parties before we believe them.